I give thanks for being extremely tired...after a long and lovely day out! I give thanks for having a great idea of a place to go, and of someone who a) might like to take me there and b) was free to do so...also for delightfully appropriate weather for the excursion...
For remarkably traffic free roads, and sunny hours spent exploring gorgeously lush English country gardens full of beautiful flowers, shrubs and trees with sparkling sea as a back drop. For delicious cakes and ice cream from the tea rooms and sosmix sausage rolls and grapes to nibble en route and sustain us on the climb. There's photos to upload but not tonight...and even they could not convey the glorious fragrances of the roses, wisteria and so on... Wonderful!
It's been some years since I changed a loo seat, years in which I've become considerably less nimble of finger and knee...and have acquired a very tiny bathroom! I'd never encountered fittings quite like the ones that came with this new one, and the instructions left me even more bemused... So, although it took an absurd amount of time, and left me ludicrously feeble afterwards, I'm exceptionally grateful for finally getting the job done today... and for at last having a wooden seat again as I do prefer them at home and have been meaning to replace the plastic one I had for over five years now!
I'm grateful I did a few other odds and ends beforehand so I could do nothing more demanding than snooze, drink Earl Grey tea, eat chocolate digestives, and watch tennis for a long while afterwards...giving thanks for tea, TV, chocolate digestives, the roof over Centre Court and some peace to snooze in, of course!
I'm grateful for books to read, whisking me away from troubles and strife...
I'm grateful for the lovely lush sound of the rain dripping on and off the leaves outside, for the mildness so the window can be open to hear this better! I'm grateful there was sun earlier on for those who were out and about...and greyness later for those like me who were home all day...
I'm grateful for a little bit of progress on sewing projects...and a lot of not beating myself up about the smallness of it...my mind always works faster than my hands can do!
I gave thanks also for a fascinatingly different programme about being single and not wanting to be, when two such folk swapped lives for a few days, meeting colleagues, friends, exes and parents to see if they could determine what the reason might be the other was unwillingly on the shelf. I liked it from the start due to simply to this premise. Usually, don't you find, advice is given by people who aren't in the situation themselves? Obviously no one's ever in your version of reality except you, but unless you're an 'expert' what do you know that's worth passing on. Or put it another way, if you are an expert what do you know about not being one?
There were some interesting insights into how we as humans tend to relate and respond as well. Despite a fairly well rounded appraisal of the character's characteristics their problems were generally perceived to revolve in the man's case around delaying behaving in a way suitable to a mature relationship until he met the person he wanted to have one with, and for the woman that she persistently believed the guy who treated her wrong was actually Mr Right, and he just needed to change his ways... Even if you've been contentedly committed for forever, or are simply serenely single I'm sure you can identify to some extent with the idea that there's a perfect something just around the corner, and that you'll be a lot more perfect when everyone else is too! It's a common human imperfection!
Oh and I'm grateful for having another go at encouraging perfection in those (to my eyes) less than perfect neighbours: I offered to lend them an extension lead to vacuum up the mess they've made on the stairs. Unfortunately they declined...
I'm grateful to the companies who so swiftly and graciously replaced goods I'd ordered from them that mysteriously went astray...including a couple of pieces of cotton lawn that look like this...
...and for one of the staff I dealt with being a tennis fan so there was something else to talk about too!
I've been very tired today so much gratitude for even quite apparently undemanding and underwhelming tasks achieved...and for quite a lot of doing little (except watching a little tennis!)
To Laura for taking me to the dump to dump things broken, worn out or needing to be recycled, and to Wilkinson to buy some new ones too! For running into a couple of nice neighbours during the process and exchanging a few friendly words restoring some faith in my place of residence.
For a charity shop she wanted to go in having a book I wanted to read...
I'm grateful to Pat for sending me some links to 'cheer me up as the weather was grey' including (coincidentally) a view of a favourite spot on St Agnes in the Scilly Isles...but I'm also very thankful for the grey weather itself...much better for staying quietly indoors which is what I'm needing a lot of right now, and actually rather beautiful in its own way I think too! I give thanks she enjoyed Bob's ironic ad and for Ann's story of her prize winning GP who really does seem to care about people as well as about his job...
I'm grateful for a bit of sewing done off and on today along with chores and snores, and that yay...I've finally finished a top I began making weeks and weeks ago but which has fought me every stitch of the way! Never have I encountered such obstinacy in fabric and notions...even surpassing Jo's silk suit and blouse c.1983 and that's really saying something...as Bananarama might have been singing in the background at the time!
I'm grateful I have eggs and don't mind breaking them to make an omelette for my supper...
Mmm, I give thanks a lovely grey day...we might not see far when its misty but we see with greater perception of depth.
I'm grateful for the end of that pesky fatigue diary...making me feel like a schoolgirl with homework to do! The 'teacher' only looked at one page so the usefulness of her observations was obviously limited, but I finally realised that I'm more tired when I'm in pain, and more depressed when I'm tired and in pain, and get more stressed when I'm depressed and tired and in pain, and struggling to do things I need to do let alone those I enjoy...so I'm grateful for that clarity about my situation, including that I only have myself to blame if I'm not enjoying what I do... Also for the reminder that people doing their job do not actually care about you...they might be caring at their job but that's not the same thing. When you're on your own in the world you can get muddled about this sometimes...
I give thanks for these beautiful cabochons that arrived the other day. I've not a clue what I shall do with them but I was buying some trimmings from somewhere where the postage price was the same however much you bought, so of course was looking in all the website sections, even those I was sure had nothing for me...and there I found these low cost, high joy irresistibilities!
Oh and I give thanks that my acupuncture appointment is late today...it's being a very slomo day!
Smoke dark sky with bright white seagull
Black cat crossing yellow fresh cut grass
Going to bed early to listen to the rain
More sleep and less pain
Jenny cleaning my windows
Last night I was grateful for the sound of owls calling to one another in the wee small hours (often preferable to the sound of humans doing the same thing!)...this morning for a big mug of tea and ginger oatcakes in bed to finish a book I was enjoying. Also for some very cheery church bells...
Oh, and backtracking, gratitude for the bag of bath melt misshapes and off cuts I found in town yesterday which I tub tested last night and now know to be money well spent.
I was grateful that the Queen's final was scheduled for an earlier start so that I had to get my act together by noon...and then that there was another rain delay as someone was doing some drilling and hammer and chiselling a few feet away, presumably changing the lock on the flat door upstairs though whether this is a good thing or a bad thing I can't at this stage decide. Depends who's doing it I suppose, and why...the week before last one resident there called the the police to break in as they said they feared another was dead inside, but it was a different person entirely in the flat and I'm not quite sure what rendered them incapable of opening the door. Loath to clear up the pieces of wood and debris on the communal landing on the grounds of encouraging some sense of responsibility I'm extra thankful I didn't now as there may be a whole lot more...
I'm grateful for a few chores done and for finding ready made curry in the fridge just past its use by date so making food wasn't one of them! Also for the highly entertaining charity tennis for some of the long sitting downy bits in between...good sport maybe not, but very good sports playing!
I give thanks for fathers today too...for everyone who has enjoyed a warm relationship with theirs, for everyone who's been a good one...
I give thanks for Dave Lamb making me laugh out loud last night on Come Dine With Me and some old old Motown on a Marvin Gaye documentary making me smile
For getting up and out to get some shopping this morning including books, strawberries and bath treats...what more could a woman want, eh?
For not getting wet or blown away
For one of the nicer neighbours greeting me, one of the shopkeepers and the cab driver having a little chat...
For a bit more clearing out and sorting out...
For falling asleep on the sofa afterwards...and that rain had stopped play at the time...
I give thanks for the sigh of the wind in the leaf laden trees, the patterns and textures as they swirl. For having windows to look out of and trees outside them. For the senses of sight and hearing. For the opportunity to sit and stare, and to share my appreciation.
Gratitude for fun with power cuts 'on and off' last night...for candles and torches and so on...and being able to access the local Facebook page via my phone for a while and see how other areas of the town were being affected.
That all services are working again today, and for the grey and showery weather as I am still not! Much stillness required again...
For discovering a quilted bedspread I thought I'd have to get to the launderette would, with persuasion, go into the washing machine.
For a very speedy and understanding response from BT regarding my call charge for not hanging up properly one day before leaving the house (and the other end not doing so either) so that I was connected for three and a half hours! Initial reaction to an enquiry to 'our colleagues overseas' about this had not been favourable so I was delighted when a lovely lady called Sandra from 'up north' could see the points I'd made made sense and refunded me in a very friendly manner...
For realising that when we say we don't like someone and it's due to something they've done or haven't, or said or haven't said or because of what they believe, think, wear, watch, read etc...it's not. Of course this also holds true if someone decides they don't like you...but though I'm notoriously poor at social skills (and it's been cited as a reason why people don't like me!) even I can see that pointing this out won't help the situation at all!
We all have talents though some may be less apparent, less appreciated or downright imperceptible to a less than generous eye. Me? Oh, I've been more of an observer than an exhibitor this weekend...well, unless you count my skill at being quietly by myself, a talent not everyone round here displays! Much gratitude for my musical neighbours and their friends, there's some great guitarists and sweet voiced singers as well as that excellent young drummer...and wry faced respect for the abilities of others to sunbathe topless and carry on slanging matches within sight and sound of everyone else. It's kind of like the egg thrower on Britain's Got Talent and the flare bearer in the French Open final...not what you ordered from the menu but an unexpected and piquant dish on the side! Thanks too that, because all this was going on, I decided against a trip to the communal gardens myself as I was really rather tired after my trip to the beaches yesterday.
I'm grateful that there was a peaceful patch at the time I settled down to meditate, for those moments when you actually are in a meditative state rather than wanting or trying to be... and that you seem to feel more peaceful yourself, yet energised afterwards no matter how fleeting they may be.
I give thanks that everyone was also quiet last night...or if not I slept through it so thanks for that instead! For, despite my fatigue, getting the bed linen changed, the washing and cooking done and even some things not strictly necessary like a seam or two of sewing and another instalment of the Big Sort Out that's been dragging on a while. I aspire to know with some degree of accuracy not only what I have and where...but also, to some extent, why. Deeply satisfying but somewhat exhausting too...
I'm grateful last night's neighbourly drama turned out not to be the tragedy that at first it seemed. It's always a little odd witnessing the version of events given to the authorities compared to what seems to be happening to me, but it was hilarious then hearing yet another a cab driver had been told today. Though I give thanks for knowing it's unkind to make fun, sometimes finding the humour is inevitable...and a chuckle now and then makes up for some of the stress!
Gratitude for not letting limited sleep stop me getting up and down to the beach...and for a very necessary very extended nap and snooze session when I got home... Thanks too to whoever is playing toe tapping music not too loudly but within earshot and helping me consider getting upright and in that kitchen to get some tea in the oven!
For surprisingly unshy robin on a fencepost and a little dog bounding along like a flying sausage...
For treating myself to a moussy slice of delicious chocolate orange almond gluten free 'cake' from a new shop just opened. I'll be back!
That a 'tankini' created from two quite different sources and tried out for the first time today worked so well. The top is not at all revealing and quite suitable in town to wear with a skirt over the shorts style ostomy friendly bottoms...well I hope it was as I did!
For realising GCHQ looks like an eye...
Finding the lost thread (literally not metaphorically)
Writing the above and remembering Edwyn Collins' 'A girl like you'. I believe there's some debate as to who actually wrote this song but it's Edwyn's version I'm remembering and being grateful for!
Some sewing I was worried would be hard to get right turning out much easier than expected. Very satisfying. Much quicker that way too!
The taste of new potatoes
The feel of clean skin after a shower
Vernon Kay and Dave Lamb on TV making me laugh out loud
Getting my head round stuff
No shouting from the neighbours last night
It's funny how sometimes we fail to see what's right in front of us, or we see it but fail to register what its implications are even when (or maybe just because) they are glaringly obvious. Struggling into a crowded waiting room at the hospital the other day I was wondering why it was always only me bumbling along with bags of this and that...and then I realised it's because everyone else has a car! This week I've had another dawn of common sense about a situation that, though uncomfortable in some ways as truth may sometimes be, is quite a relief in others. I give thanks for clarity.
Gratitude for the cheerful delivery driver bringing surgical supplies with a smile and for a quiet hour in the gardens courtesy of headphones to fill my ears with Imee Ooi chants instead of other people's less than enchanting gossip. For the sunshine being warmer than some websites suggested it might be!
I give thanks for giving up on a protracted argument with Adobe reader also an equally fruitless search for a reel of thread that I was using yesterday but which, since then, has disappeared into another dimension. Some things are simply not meant to be...including the ones I meant to do during the time that passed before I gave up, over and above reading the document and sewing with the thread!
Never mind, I give thanks for a mug of Earl Grey tea instead...and doing the ironing. After that I'm fit for nothing else so I didn't care!
Wow, my teeth! I give thanks to the dentist for polishing away the stains and plan to take every opportunity to smile! They now almost match the lace on my Jane Austen top. I didn't plan to make a Jane Austen top and purists may argue that I didn't but the impure may see what I see and agree.
I give thanks for the way, if you allow it, creativity takes you places you had no idea you were on the way to when you picked up whatever instrument or medium you use and toddle off down the road...For freedom from patterns, recipes and even instructions wherever they can possibly be avoided for they bind your mind as well as guide it, you know!
Oh, and I'm grateful I have a new top to wear too...that fits the remit of no fastenings to confound my fumbly fingers and achey joints, fullness over the middle region to conceal my bag when its full, and length in the body to conceal any unscheduled emptying of the same. And that is pretty enough to make me forget all of the above for a while...
Gratitude for remembering the man on the bus the other day. Double decker and quite full with tourists and locals alike...except for a big gap around the big burly shaven headed guy at the front on the top. He kept his right arm up around shoulder height the whole journey so the chimpanzee puppet on it could look out of the window at various things. It was an interesting experience not to feel the oddest passenger!
I'm grateful I deleted some virtual 'conversations' which had been one sided or silent for a while and haunted my phone and email inboxes and contact lists...For going out in the sun for a while to warm the cockles of my heart instead...and then hearing from some of the people! For coming back in when the time felt right and it was randomly time for the tennis match I wanted to see... And for something that seems to be nut burgers mostly made in the kitchen - though I'm not quite at the end of the road with that one and will have to wait and see!
Is it a tornado? Is it a hurricane? No, it's nothing to do with weather or planes... It's a (sort of) angel in the making mode...
The tennis was boring, the neighbours we're warring, the sun was in and the people I wanted to talk to were out or offline or otherwise not responding, so sloth was in danger of turning into despondency... Until I made homity for lunch and chocolate and prune cakes for tea (having made a plan that such things should exist) and rather a lot of washing up in the process! I made various parts of the premises cleaner and tidier including the cutlery tray...I do hate a crumby one, don't you? And inroads into sewing projects including coming up be with the idea of marking a stitching line (on some jersey that defied tailor's chalk and I was loath to pin or tack) with masking tape! Get on (literally).
I made sure I had plenty of rests between these processes, including a delicious nap when those poor sad people upstairs went downstairs and out into the outside world to inflict themselves on other ears... And when I woke up the tennis was interesting (including the commentary...comparing the match players to guitar players? Seriously?) so I was happy to make horizontal my home a little longer.
I give thanks for all of the above and for the clapping in corners that preceded it. Don't knock it til you've tried it and I won't knock you if you don't!
Well last night I was grateful to some neighbours for reminding me there are lonelier states than being alone and worse cravings than company! I was also very grateful for being very tired so that, with the aid of earplugs and wind howling through a slightly open window to soften the noise, I was able to get back to sleep again quite quickly every time. Also for setting my alarm or I'd have lain in much later than I needed to as I wanted to get up and out early to ask a strange man to take me up to Dartmoor. He was behind the wheel of a bus at the time...
I'd been rather concerned that this outing might be like a trip to a candy store for a newly diagnosed diabetic, as I could look but not touch and, on the whole prefer to be in beautiful places either on my own or with people I like very much, and there was an element of that dissatisfaction but to see the moorland scenery was a treat anyhow. I was grateful I made the effort and for the friendly atmosphere on the bus between locals and tourists and several half and halfs like me. Also for many sights of banks of beautiful bluebells...it seems to be a bumper year for them, doesn't it Lynn?
Of course any outing by public transport to somewhere you want to go includes a good deal of places you don't, so I gave thanks that those bits were passable if not always especially pleasant! I was grateful I found a shop that sells Clover easy grip crochet hooks, much kinder to sore thumbs and wrists and usually only available on line, and finding the shop that had these buttons before a while back still had them now I had the chance to return... Much gratitude also for running into Chris the cab driver on arriving back in town here so I had someone real to really talk to about something of my day...
