Try to remember

No, it must have been real when I played my guitar, there's particular sore bits in my left hand that weren't there before! Unless I played it in my sleep of course... I've been marvelling since on the way the brain can store movement memories...for years and years and years! I give thanks thus my fingers knew which strings they were meant to land on even if they struggled to actually do it!

Today I give thanks for not letting soreness not let me do anything, nor for letting myself do too much. I give thanks for managing to get a misaddressed parcel to its rightful owner just in time for them to take on holiday...and for my knees telling me quite clearly on the way back that despite my desire to sit on a chair in the sun they were in no mood for more than one trip up and down stairs.

I give thanks after packing a box and wrestling a shelf with a very stuck screw off the wall I settled down to have a rest and was just drifting into a nap when the estate agent rang to give me a nag. I give thanks for making a point of telling him how I always try to make a point of making a genuine human connection out of a functional interaction...and we actually had a conversation! It may have been through gritted teeth at his end but it will have done him no harm I'm sure...

I give thanks for taking the door curtain down and discovering the piece of dowelling it was hanging on is just the right length for the top of my hanging so I just need another for the bottom now. It looks a bit dark and dowdy from the brass rings rubbing on it so I give thanks I have some paint...

It's the same old song

Not everything I can hear here is stuff I'd rather not. Late yesterday evening I realised the outside wind, and the rain, the bands playing live for the carnival celebrations, plus the avian, canine and human neighbours had all become more or less silent and I could sit with a chamomile tea and the window open listening to the waves breaking on the shore down the hill. Absolute bliss!

I give thanks for Reginald D Hunter's rather interesting Songs of the Border including actually playing the Mexico/US fence as an instrument. Also for catching up with Ben Fogle's trek across the Empty Quarter with James Cracknell, inspired by the travels of Wilfred Thesiger...and remembering reading his books with their wonderful photographs many years ago.

Today I give thanks the anaesthetic cream made blood taking less blood curdling and for standing my ground and insisting only the outstanding anaemia tests be done. They'll do all the others at the hospital next week anyway so why waste resources and my nerves? For the moist and mizzly weather dampening down the tourists so I could have a cuppa at Eastcliff and peer in between them to the murky view.

I have been very tired this afternoon and not done half the things I meant to. In the middle of half heartedly trying I had a sudden random urge to put down the task in hand and play my guitar. But you can't, I said to myself... Yes you can, I replied. And I did...more or less! Less well than I used to obviously, but much better than I have done since then so that it was more pleasure than pain. Well to me anyway... And I was playing a song I wrote half a lifetime ago so no one else would have known if it was reasonably recognisable or not. Maybe I fell asleep and dreamt it?

Lazy Sunday afternoon

It was a bit too noisy last to watch TV at the volume I prefer, so I give thanks for deciding to have an early night with earplugs and a book. Clearly this was a wise decision as I fell asleep before I even opened it!

I give thanks for the stormy weather today, just right for a long lie in and a leisurely afternoon catching up with crafts and the programmes I missed... Except of course I woke up early having had a long sleep already...and soon nearby folk were having 'quiet' days in too with their tools and radios. I give thanks for earplugs...for the reminder to charge up my wireless headphones...and for the reminder too that I can be overheard in pretty much all I do and to be as quiet as possible when other people are so as not to disturb them.

I give thanks for my bath...for digestive biscuits...for making a nice lunch, though I've a blood test tomorrow and have now run out of ideas for meals it's wise to eat beforehand. I give thanks for this collection of diverse 'coincidence' pics on Bored Panda. They cheered me up a bit...

https://www.boredpanda.com/what-are-the-odds-rare-things-coincidences/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

The look of love

What's better in life than a good QI? OK, I'll rephrase that. What's better in life and accessible to me? Not much - as two of my favourite things are learning and laughing... Last night I gave thanks for finding an episode of the last series I'd not yet seen, and doing a lot of both. I give thanks for discovering the existence of Mad Hatterpillars (larvae that wear a stack of outgrown head casings on top of their current one) and that orchids used to be called Bollockwort...

Today I've been giving thanks for going with Mima to collect our undelivered items from yesteday and for a walk round a nearby park in the sunshine, the rain, the wind... I give thanks for spotting sheep the same colour as the fields, a mother coot diving again and again to feed weed to her fluffy chicks, lovely lush plants and trees and some rather confident squirrels. Also these gnarled ivy stems. The human brain is configured to see faces in anything that has a similar patterns to facial features...in these I almost see erotic intertwined carvings like you get on temples sometimes!

I give thanks for calling in at Morrison's on the way back where I could not only get a nice loaf sliced for me, but could ask the bored looking chap doing it if it was a boring job...and thereby relieve the monotony by giving him a legitimate excuse to tell me exactly how tedious he found it!

The lonely goatherd

A few years ago I fell in love...with some towels from Habitat! They were too expensive for me and soon disappeared from Homebase anyway when it stopped carrying homewares, but I never forgot them and I gave a groan when I realised they were still available online.... This time I gave in, and succumbed to their charms. Sadly they were due to be delivered between 7.30 am and 9.00 pm today by the courier company run by goatherds, so you will just have to imagine their lush stripy loveliness as of course I only have a 'sorry you were out' card!

I give thanks I may have worked out why drivers go from 9 drops to go to gone down the road so quickly ie. maybe that there are several packages going to one place.  I also give thanks for still believing one day I may live somewhere with a doorbell and less stairs so if someone rings it I can respond (if I want to!)

I give thanks for taking it easy today. My back is complaining about packing and my tummy not happy about ancient things dug out from the back of the fridge for tea so I've been mostly lazing around watching late night TV in the day. I give thanks for recording facilities...and for soothing chamomile tea. I give thanks for a little light craftwork too, a few rows of Rachel's complicated intarsia jumper and a few seams of the edgings for my sun moon hanging. I even found some silver sequins for the stars...

We gotta get out of this place

Well, I give thanks I got out of bed... That was a start, though a very late one indeed.
I really didn't feel like doing anything but reading the brilliant brain book, and giving mine a rest...so I give for getting hungry and having to get up and get refreshments.

I give thanks dealing with my fatigue by bribing myself with 'rewards' for chores and when I'd sorted and packed a box and a half, and seen to some moving related office work, the treat was taking the book and suncream and shades to loll in the sun for a bit. I give thanks for Imee Ooi drowning out the gulls... At least I assume they were gulls - they sounded more like pterodactyls (as far as I can tell from the noise they make in films) I give thanks for bit of nap when I returned and a refreshing trickle from my non-power shower.

Fly like an eagle

Time keeps on slipping slipping into the future...despite me failing to make any progress in any way! I give thanks there's no rush...Er, is there?

I give thanks for a fridge full of minimal effort food so lots of lolling about last night and for the greater part of today. For my lovely washing machine for providing some clean clothes, and for my truculent hands gradually turning the piles of washing up into clean mugs and plates and pans.

I give thanks for more warm sunshine. For the recycling bins here being full to above the brim so I was moved to move myself part way down the hill and back. I give thanks for not being any more sore and tired that I am...it could be so much worse than it is... For the NHS for continuing to supply me with performance enhancing drugs, without which it surely would be!

I give thanks for Gary sending me this picture of the drone. I was somewhat enchanted by the way from it looked from underneath rather like a free falling small rodent - without any small rodents being harmed in the process of course!

Windmills of your mind

I give thanks I put the kettle on a few minutes ago. Unfortunately I lay down on the sofa afterwards so no cup of tea for a while! It's been a busy twenty four hours and many body parts are protesting..

I give thanks for surviving a nasty attack of hand cramps while I was trying to remedy a mistake in a row of intarsia knitting...though the pattern itself was a casualty (plus several runaway stitches) and there'll be some painful and painstaking unpicking and reknitting to do when I can face another session. Some craft projects grow therapeutically and others are stress from start to finish.

I give thanks for surviving marauding murderers haunting my dreams, and nasty attacks of cramp in my feet during the night. For managing to meet Gary on time despite being bleary eyed and sore this morning. Plan A for the day was to watch him fly his camera drone and we did that a little though it was too windy in all the best places to enjoy as much as we hoped. We did enjoy numerous different parking spots though, plus refreshment outlets including one with a field of deer cutely wagging their tails round and round to keep the flies off I guess. I also give thanks for a scenic drive up a narrow windy lane we would never have gone up the main one hadn't been closed, though I suspect Gary didn't!

Ooh, I give thanks I just had to stand up to sort out another bout of cramp in my foot...so I now have a cup of refreshing Roobosch. I give thanks I have lots of leftovers for my tea...for the water heater on...and for an informative and entertaining book by a neuroscientist about why the brain does stuff we wish it wouldn't...

Then he kissed me

I give thanks for all the folk I know getting married lately. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in a permanent and pretty much perfect relationship but it looks from the outside well worth a wonderful celebration! I give thanks for all the folk I know who have loving families and life long friends to share the experience with as well...there again, not territory I am familiar with but I get the impression it would be rather special too.

I give thanks for all my years of optimism regarding finding my prince...and lessons learned encountering various forms of pond life along the way. For finally understanding in almost old age why my own family sent me away as a child...I really am close to unbearable for more than a few hours at a time!

I give thanks for the pretty pearl blue of the sea last night...for Phil Spector's Wall of Sound.  And for shedding tears of laughter with someone in a call centre over a slip of the tongue. Lovable might be beyond me but I love that I can still do funny now and then...

Sex and drugs and rock and roll

I give thanks for an evening that was very good indeed. No none of the above, but also all of them in the shape of a great biopic with that very title. For making a quick tea for there and then and a slow one to keep overnight in the fridge for today. For managing five rows of knitting before my hand went into spasms. For no close neighbours at home for the full duration so I could get quite lost in a stunning performance by Andy Serkis and others in the cast. Made me feel young again... made me remember going to Glastonbury... made me remember the me I used to be before being ill and getting old got in way. I miss her...

Meanwhile the imposter who seems to have taken over my life had a pleasant afternoon out. Mima and I went exploring across the river where there is a secret bookshop in a phone box and a tiny tucked away church with some pretty features...plus a 'hermitage' outside with a mosaic of astrological symbols made of pebbles and an enormous yellow car parked on top... Hermitting clearly isn't what it used to be either!

I've been very achey today so I give thanks for paracetamol and perseverance, lovely sunshine and views, a picnic lunch and half a cream tea for pudding.

Street life

It's so much easier to be wise about other people's lives isn't it? I guess not least because we're all pretty rubbish at imagining what it really feels like to be anyone else than ourselves so our suggestions fall on deaf and probably ungrateful ears. Last night I was wishing I had someone to give me some good advice, so I gave thanks this morning when I realised the ideal person to ask for help was me! I also give thanks that I'm reading a book about how the brain works, so I could better understand why I'm finding some situations so problematic.

I give thanks for a Plan A for today that involved staying in bed until lunchtime, then slowly limbering up for a trip up the road on the bus to somewhere there was to be street food and music...somehow an unplanned Schedule B took place instead though - oh well, I give thanks there was no one but myself expecting any particular activity or outcome.

I give thanks for a long period of neighbourhood peacefulness in the middle of the day for 'quiet enjoyment' of my home. Heaven knows where everyone was, but even the jetskiers were silent! For my hands being relatively amenable to work so putting them to play instead moving on with the finishing off of my hanging. For finding some more plain fabric to back up the batik bits that will show.

I give thanks for a late tasty pasta lunch and then, as my ankle was already swollen and sore for forgoing going anywhere. Does mean I'll need to think of something for tea though.. Hmmm...

The sound of silence

Early to bed and early to rise... Makes me want to curl up on the sofa and close my eyes! I give thanks I had some noisy things to do instead this afternoon - vacuuming and spinning something handwashed -  as a neighbour was playing their radio too loud for an afternoon snoozing.

I give thanks for being later back from town than I thought I'd be as I needed a cuppa after collecting library books and specs and a thumbs up from the dentist. When you have a car you can (if you've managed to park somewhere handy) gather things you've gathered inside but if you're on foot you have to lug your luggage everywhere and that can get a mite fatiguing. I give thanks for a lush takeway lunch of a broccoli and stilton bake followed by a strawberry tart...

I thanks for finding a piece of fabric in my stash just the right type and size for backing my sun moon hanging. It's still a long way from done but close enough to be thinking about it.

I give thanks for trying to do some more form filling, email and letter writing regarding moving. I didn't get very far as my brain is addled and my hands are tired but every little makes me feel maybe it might happen if I can just keep jumping through a few more hoops and avoid the pitfalls and tripwire!

I give thanks it's been really quiet now for a while...even the gulls and pigeons are silent and Mr Upstairs has just gone down them... My favourite sound of all!

Keep young and beautiful

It's your duty to try to be beautiful...on the inside of course, from where you see the beauty inside other people! I give thanks for this video with a few reminders of the diversity of packages beauty comes in

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-london-44872098/trafalgar-square-catwalk-for-body-positivity

I give thanks for knowing I need practice at seeing the good in others. We are all of us a mixed bag, and in some situations can be lovely and at other times, or to other people, maybe not. I give thanks for remembering the film Crash which portrayed this so poignantly.

I give thanks for making a sarnie to eat in the sun on my way to do my chores whilst watching the holiday makers trip by. One young couple were carefully teaching their little girl how to cross the road safely...and also how to feed seagulls chips! Then there were a pair of mature men who passed me declaring the town OK for a day visit but 'You wouldn't want to spend a week here'. They were wearing shorts with short nylon socks and leather slip on shoes so we can all be grateful they weren't staying long...

I give thanks for picking up a parcel of tasty Middle Eastern treats posted from Bob in Yorkshire and for Jenny very kindly driving me, my shopping bags and some empty boxes up the hill.

I give thanks the BT engineer who disconnected my line when fixing someone else's believed me when I told him and went back up the pole to put it right so I can post this... and for falling asleep on the sofa when I got home so my seized up fingers could unlock enough for typing and making my tea...

Day tripper

Yay! I'd thought I might need a duvet day today but I got as far as a dressing gown... I give thanks for no one around to give me a dressing down over lack of effort.

I give thanks my joints hurt a lot less than I thought they might but I had some bad cramps in my legs in the night so I was sorely tired and stumbling and staggering about this morning until the muscles stretched out and calmed down. I give thanks for sitting down with some knitting until after a few rows my hands went into spasm...and I give thanks for then giving up and having a little nap!

I've been longing for a bit of a holiday from household tasks (when you're single it's pretty much always your turn and when you're not well it's pretty much always hard work) so I give thanks since Rachel washed up after I cooked tea on Monday, I've not really done either chore. I give thanks I have lots of mugs and plates and for lots of tea and toast...plus a mixed plate of heated up assorted leftovers for lunch.

I give thanks for reading local councils are going to let more verges grow for the wildflowers and the bees. I hope they stop weedkilling the inner edge of pavements too -  I love the poppies that spring up there and they could spend the money on something better. I give thanks I'm wise enough to know they probably won't!

Home on the range

There should have been a photo of an enormous kitchen range to accompany this post, but that one didn't come out so well so have a hydrangea from the nearby gardens instead! I give thanks we met a lady who was saying how good they were so we went to have a look...

I give thanks after yesterday's mega rest I felt up for a coach trip today. It's been some years since I've been on one and it was interesting to see the ifs and buts that put me off would be offset by the relative convenience of to and fro...and I have to say the jury is still out! I give thanks it turned out to be a passably pleasant way to spend the day though whether I would do it again would depend on how much I wanted to spend time at the destination relative to how long it took to get there and back. Today, including a stop off for a fish supper at Mima's and a lift up the hill afterwards I was out for eleven hours and that's quite a long time to take to visit a National Trust property I wasn't much bothered about either way, but there are so many things I'd like to do that I can't it seemed a fine idea to see if I would like to do something that I can. I give thanks for giving it a go...

I give thanks for the fish supper and the lift home, and for Mima to furrow brows with at others' conversations. For not getting rained on and for surviving the aircon chill of the coach. For seeing some fascinating well preserved/restored kitchens and preparation rooms, and cosy quarters of privileged staff. For the beautiful and remarkably youthful voices of some rather mature ladies from a local choir singing in the church. For a robin coming to share our lunch. For being back home with my very swollen foot up on the arm of the sofa and some leftover cake to eat!

Love is the drug

Well, love fifteen in my case obviously! I give thanks for the tennis season temporarily taking my mind off long running problems..
and for comprehendng a 'problem' is not a situation but a construct of the mind.

I give thanks for trying (as ever) to be more equanimous. The serenity prayer is a good rule of thumb but sometimes the wisdom to know when you should go for more courage and when to retire gracefully can be in short supply. Today my most obvious problems have been pain and fatigue so I give thanks for retiring from pretty much everything else for as long as possible to try not to make them worse. To some this may seem uncourageous...but I figure they're people who can take Ibuprofen and really have no idea. I give thanks I accept when catch up time comes a nonday may seem in retrospect unwise, as anything undone will be still awaiting my attention but my goodness me I needed a rest!

I give thanks for doing only the most essential tasks mostly revolving around hygiene and nutrition. For washing up and cooking tea during forays into the kitchen for cuppas and toast, and when I needed a change from lying in bed for lying in the bath!  My knees have been particularly mardy so I give thanks Rachel is coming and I could ask her to check for post. Coming up the stairs yesterday I was acutely aware of every single one...

Light my fire

I wish that I spoke seagull. The ones round here have been extremely vocal the last few days and if I knew what the different cries meant it would be interesting, not just a not very attractive noise! I give thanks for them waking me up today though as I was fast asleep until well after nine...

I give thanks that Mima wanted to go somewhere because otherwise I might not have got out of bed, and wasn't sure I'd not make it down the stairs. I was very sore and stiff about the joints so I was very grateful she was up for picking me up and dropping me off at home...and I was able to pick up one or two things I wanted including a second pair of the cheap comfy pumps I got last week.  They have elastic in so fit even when my left foot gets bigger throughout the day...

I give thanks I also found another can of the good paint so I can give this lamp another coat sometime as well as some other bits about the place. I am most pleased with the transformation so far...

I give thanks we planned to stop for tea and cake on the way back. The quirky cafe up a hill has been relentlessly remodelled though so, apart from the view, it's really rather generic looking now and (shock horror!) they weren't serving cake... We did share a delicious starter and pudding tho!

I give thanks I'm hungry again as this means somehow surely I'll find a way to get up and get in the kitchen soon.  After running slow for most of the day I've completely ground to a halt. I give thanks I can just lie here and consider my options for a while...

The wheels on the bus

Of all the wheels my wagon is losing the one that causes me most distress is the (metaphorical) steering wheel by means of which I used to amble off to places on my own. I give thanks though sore and stiff this morning, I also suffered from great claustrophobia and wanderlust because the need has to be pretty damn great to overcome the obstacles and inertia..

I figured I could get to the bus stop, but there's not a lot of choice of buses you can get from there and I really wanted, if not adventure, at least more novelty than the same old routes and destinations. I give thanks for perusing maps and timetables (always fun!) and finally deciding the best I could come up with was a cup of tea at a slightly different seaside and possibly buy a new lampshade for my newly sprayed lamp base on the way home...

I give thanks for resolving to make the best of it, to try and get a sense of being away from it all a few hours of this unpromising material...and I give thanks for succeeding too!

I give thanks for tea and a pastry outside a strangely (but very pleasantly!) deserted cafe, for an equally unusually almost deserted beach backed with sparkling sea, for a brook swimming with fish of various sizes and a man taking a snake for a walk...round his neck, not on a lead ! After that I was quite worn out, so I give thanks for a long rest watching the end of the second men's semifinal in front of a big screen in a small park with handy shops, loos etc and patches of sun and shade.

I give thanks the match ended when it did as walkabout cramps were setting in and I didn't want to jump up shouting four letter words which is what I do at home. Instead I bought an ice cream plus aforementioned lampshade and made it to the bus stop at just the same time as a bus back. I give thanks for making it to the sofa before I fell fast asleep! All I need to do now is to find a way off it and into the kitchen to get some food... I may be some time...

Whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Ooh, I give thanks for one of those rare and precious conjunctions when I feel whole and well and free of pain for a couple of hours! Nature abhors a vacuum though (unlike me - I am so pleased with my new one!) so of course I had to do something to make myself tired and sore again. It was late so it had to be something at home and quiet, so I decided to have a go at spray painting a lamp base. I give thanks for managing to rig up a protected but ventilated area with my folding screen and dustsheets... and then I couldn't get the lid off the can. Anything squeezy, turny or pushy is likely to cause problems - toothpaste, pill bottles, knobs - but squeezy and turny at the same time often times defeats me utterly.  Eventually I succeeded but the nozzle came off too and whether that was the problem or (despite shaking the tin so much I'm surprised I didn't take off on my bingo wings)  I just wasn't getting the product liquid enough, but it might as well have been real cast iron inside rather than just a textured metallic effect. I could get a sort of jet stream sometimes, but never a spray and mostly nothing at all. Oh well, I give thanks for giving up packing the vacuum box with jigsaws instead...

Today I gave thanks for still feeling relatively human so getting a few more jobs done while the going was good. For trying a different sort of paint with much more success. I still can't get my hand in the proper position to push the button, but I found I could kind of squeeze the bottom of the can against my tummy to assist with grip and one lamp base now looks quite nice, though the other will only really do if it's behind a plant or something...

I give thanks for a fair stab at bustling about until it was time for curling up for a watch of the tennis...plus a bit of a siesta or two. Five hours and we're still only on the first semi final. I may be some time...

Cherry oh baby

Wow, the tennis last night! I give thanks I'm not fussed about football because there were a couple of utterly awesome matches I would have hated to have missed. Of course I have favourites but I give thanks I rarely care who wins - they can be any nationality, age, sexual or political persuasion -  as long as they can hit balls into the right places some, but not quite all of the time. The not quite bit is crucial - tennis fans rarely have tantrums or go on a rampage but they are quite partial to a groan!

Hours of it there was...I give thanks for lots of lovely lolling about on the sofa doing little but watching the screen, and for lots of hastily constructed sherry trifle. When I've had a generous portion I realise why people drink, but these days I'd rather have my cake (soaked in it) and eat it too!

I give thanks for unpacking my vacuum and being very pleased with size, shape and weight...of both the Hoover and the box which is calling out for packing with possesions! I already knew I liked the style. Designers seem to have been given free rein with colour and shape lately which means some of them look to me quite gross!

I give thanks this morning I got as far as turning it on, and finding operation and performance good... but I was very tired and going out to get prescriptions (plus a cup of tea and cookies) seemed a far better use of such energy as I had. I give thanks for a small handful of cherries too - rationed now but probably my favourite fruit so how could I resist a few?

I give thanks for more vivid and very enjoyable dreams. In waking moments most communications involve me saying 'Ooh, how lovely!' about stuff other people get up to that I can't. When I'm asleep I can!

It's a mystery

My new vacuum is called Enigma. Quite why is a mystery. Perhaps I'll know more when I get it out of the box but I've had some important shouting 'Come on Kevin!' at the television to do this afternoon instead. I don't mean it meanly to the multi champs but I do love it when apparent foregone conclusion matches aren't, and it's fascinating to see how uncomfortable they are with losing. Not enough practice I guess. It was nice to see Andy on court as well - in a smart suit on his way to commentate (ie bicker gently) with Tim...

I give thanks to Julie for driving me to the town to get the aforementioned neglected appliance, and to Spencer for carrying it from the shop and up the stairs from the car. I give thanks I had vegan cookies in the tin!

I give thanks for good dreams between waking early and waking again late. I didn't have time for much in the way of breakfast before we went out so I give thanks for making a proper late lunch after with salmon and broccoli crustless quiche (or omelette as we used to say!)

I give thanks the noisy gulls have gone from the flat roof outside my kitchen window...I don't know where and I was concerned there might be a little corpse on the doorstep but not by the time I emerged anyhow. The corvids were having a right old grumble at something for ages this morning and I wondered if there was an interloper (or predator) about but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

I give thanks for Mr Tesco bringing me groceries. They are the groceries I chose before I thought I amended my order to what I felt was a more pressing selection ie. Quorn sausages instead of fino sherry. I give thanks I feel a trifle coming on...

Feed the birds

I gave thanks my upstairs neighbour didn't come home until it was time to put my earplugs in for the night yesterday. ..and that this was quite late in the evening as, despite an uncomfortably swollen ankle and nasty attacks of cramp in hands and feet I still felt quite perky and was pottering around doing some more sorting out in case moving gets sorted out any time soon. Meanwhile the squatters on the flat roof continue to make a heck of a racket but I have a drudging affection for their resilience and adaptability despite the awkward turn of events. The youngster is gaining more feathers every day but I worry as he's already learned he can leave the nest and still be attended to that he'll be hanging round squeaking and squawking for quite some time to come.

Today I've been extremely short on both energy and enthusiasm so I give thanks even the slightest accomplishments feel like great achievements! I got out of bed - hurray! I made the bed - hurrah! I cleaned the loo - woohoo!

I give thanks for also booking a coach day trip next week, and purchasing a Travelzoo voucher for an afternoon tea with use of a spa not far away. For going through some more possessions, assessing them and assigning them to keep and discard piles. For a nice nap on the sofa while pretending to watch the tennis...

I give thanks lots of leftovers so I don't have many kitchen chores...and for a nectarine for afternoon tea. Fresh fruit, like so many other luscious stuff, is rationed on my diet but once in a while I just have to bury my face in one!

Wouldn't it be loverly?

If you were a superhero who would you be? I think I'd be be waste of space woman! I lies here and I does little most of the time but I give thanks though rarely use or ornament at least I try not to cause hassle and grief...and for trying to deal with it as best I can when others seem to set out to.

I was a slow starter today but I give thanks for feeling fairly sprightly when I did get going and walking down to town to do a few bits before exhaustion set in. I give thanks for planning ahead and making and taking some lunch to eat while I had a rest. For meeting someone who said I always seem upbeat - it's very nice both to be complimented on one's acting skills and to know one's attempts at spreading joy are to come extent successful!

I give thanks for continuing to try to arrange some trips out to look forward to, to try to offset all the upcoming things I dread. Some of these are conveyancing related, and sure enough there was, on my return, my now almost weekly bullying message from the estate agents through whom I am trying to buy. I guess if the vendors are giving him grief he feels he has to pass it on...but it really doesn't have to be to me and I'm running out of polite ways to point this out to him! I give thanks for the solicitor dealing with the purchase assuring me it is all in hand...and feeling better. And then talking to the one dealing with the lease extension who said nothing is happening and there's nothing he could do...and feeling much worse. Expecting your health to go horribly wrong at any moment is quite stressful enough without waiting for your health enhancing home move to go pear-shaped too. I give thanks for trying to come to terms with this news...and then receiving an email from the estate agent selling my flat saying actually the freeholder's solicitor was waiting for a copy of the lease before they could proceed and they intended to do so. Honestly...talk about emotional rollercoasters...it's as bad as watching a good tennis match!

I give thanks for randomly deciding to get leftovers out of the freezer yesterday so I wouldn't have to cook tea tonight. I must have known...

Summer the first time

I give thanks ten years ago I went to Wimbledon for the first time. It was something I'd wanted to do for so long and made me quite emotional, but the as yet undiagnosed tumour was causing such horrible symptoms so it's a bittersweet memory too as I remember being on the receiving end of a lot of grief and gruffness with my constant need for the loo.

For the life of me I can't understand why the cancer and all its complications and consequences haven't been the death of me yet. I've often been told what I do and don't deserve so perhaps the slow torture of decline is some kind of cosmic karma for my many failings. I give thanks my many failings mean I largely struggle with this alone but sometimes I do envy those (sick or well) who have someone to give them a hand...especially when my own get so very sore. I give thanks for everyone who has someone to make them a cuppa or give them a hug when these things are sorely required.

I give thanks for planning a couple of days away from the challenges of household chores and non-moving woes before the challenges and woes of dialysis start. After dismissing most options as either physically or financially too demanding (if not both) I found a cheap and cheerful coach trip setting off from just down the road and thought though this is really not my kind of thing I could amuse myself while I was there instead going on included excursions. So today I rang up to book to find not only was the website not updated with the fact the holiday wasn't available...but they lied about the local pick up point so it would have been awkward anyway. Oh well, I give thanks for the bit where I thought I could take a break, and for sulkily getting back to the washing up...and emptying washing up water into buckets as the drain pipe is still blocked

I give thanks for finding a potato I'd forgotten I had - but not for so long it was inedible. That was definitely the best bit of this day...closely followed by eating it!

Lavender's blue

I give thanks I remembered to take my camera out this morning. I forgot to take it out of the car though (AND my phone!) so you will just have to imagine the sun baked courtyard with a still stone fountain in the centre surrounded by lavender and the drowsy drone of bees. I give thanks for the Mediterranean weather making up a little for being unable to leave the UK and for Mima taking me somewhere I've not quite been before making up for it being so hard to go very far even within the British Isles. We wanted a peaceful spot for a spot of lunch and were served it in a garden all by ourselves!

I give thanks for having plans for today...and for unplanned pleasantness which happened instead. For selling my Henry to the chap who came to see it... and for receiving a parcel signed for by my downstairs neighbour and delivered straight upstairs into my hands in case it went astray. How thoughtful! This was my never worn, long time discontinued Uniqlo dress so would have been hard to replace if it had. Such a pretty Liberty print!

I give thanks for snoozing on the sofa with the tennis when I got home. For the frantic female screaming outside turning out to be football related not murder - I changed channels just to check!

Bread and roses

They say if you think about exercising it has a physical effect on your body, so I'm guessing I've been paying far too much attention to the tennis as my right wrist seems to have played a few five setters in the last few days. I give thanks for being able to leave dressing and messing with hair, washing up etc til rather late in the day...and for some rather good tennis to watch while I rested it as much as I could.

I give thanks for taking the rubbish and recycling out towards the end of the afternoon and, astonished how warm it still was, being tempted to go for a stroll as my legs and spirit were unusually willing. Luckily I had some kefir grains arrive in the post so could pop off to the supermarket for a pint of organic whole milk...and this also gave me the opportunity to retry (successfully!) getting some cash as my mind blanked on my PIN yesterday and I had to come home without...

I give thanks for cut price bread...there were other things that took my fancy but carrying them back up the hill did not! I've not walked up it for a while and I didn't want it to hurt too much. I give thanks for a home made rose cordial ice lolly to cool me down when I got home.

Right...all this writing is upsetting my arm again so I'd better let it lie still before I make my tea. Wonder what the baby gull is having, it looked suspiciously like regurgitated chips yesterday...

Walking on sunshine

I was grateful I got my second wind yesterday evening could give my bedroom a bit of a sort out and clean (even behind the big chest of drawers - ouch!) but even more so for making myself a tangy Bramley Eve's pudding for supper! Haven't done that for ages...

I give thanks for sleeping late and eventually surfacing to cast a wary eye out onto the flat roof where a not quite fledged sea gull chick has been whimpering for a couple of days. This morning it was sleeping, with an adult bird sleeping close by.

I give thanks the sun is back out and I can wear my favourite dress - the Uniqlo Liberty one my dear GP would write us both a prescription for if she could. I give even more thanks for finding the rarity of another in my size on ebay just now and putting in an accepted offer. I love the prints but it's also a particularly useful style when my hands are sore as it has a built in bra in the top and the hem is long enough to disguise unshaven legs...sorry, that's probably more than you wanted to know!

My right arm has been very sore from working on the sun end of my sun/moon hanging thingy but my ankle has felt better and I've been informed the joint looks fine on an x-ray and it's soft tissue or ligaments at fault. I've declined physio 'to increase movement' as moving it's not the problem, it's the swelling and discomfort when I do. I give thanks for doing the slalom shuffle between out of schoolwork teenagers, getting a few groceries and breaking my renal diet for a broccoli and stilton bake and a takeaway tea by the sea to take the weight very pleasantly off both feet...

All in the game

I didn't fall asleep as soon as I turned out the light last night...I went to bed pretty much as soon as the football fans' groaning and yelling stopped so there was no need to turn it on! I give thanks for a massive lie in this morning too as, though I'd had a good rest more was still required.

I give thanks for being able to take it easy (sometimes) when I'm tired. It really is the only thing that helps. For being quite capable of doing essentials without a great deal of pain, but just enough aches in essential joints to encourage me not to do too much. For not feeling ill, and for remembering what a blessing this is when there are so many horrible symptoms I could expect to be suffering from as toxins build up in my body.

I give thanks for sorting out a couple of drawers and even finding new homes for some of their contents in other drawers... For otherwise being mostly content to lie on the sofa not groaning and yelling at the telly as the tennis I saw wasn't actually all that exciting today despite a few stunning rallies and returns. I give thanks when I dropped the kettle on my foot the water in it wasn't freshly boiled...

In between days

I went to a different hospital today...that makes eight in ten years, bit like Munro bagging I suppose only less healthy.  I give thanks this one had the most stunning art work (a tryptych beach scene with a flock of birds)  in the main entrance/reception area though it was placed so the person behind the desk got to see it more than the patients so they lose a point for that!

I give thanks my ankle was sore seeing as that was the bit being x - rayed, but if  its not another day I might go back and take a photo as I had neither my camera nor my phone. There was a gorgeous spreading oak tree nearby too with a complicated knot of roots, that would be worth a second look.

I give thanks for popping into the sister store of the health food shop here on my way up the hill and finding a pack of those lovely vegan crumble biscuits reduced as they were squashed. The chap inside and I were discussing the mystery of Booja  Booja tasting so good despite having no sinful ingredients. Alchemy he decided it was which made me chuckle rather... For their Co op having own brand tortilla chips in stock as ours have run out and they're pretty much the only thing my diet will allow me to spend my 'nuts, crisps and snacks' voucher on.

I give thanks I made a proper lunch before I went out because I'm stuck on the sofa now too tired to move. I give thanks Rachel brought dhal for tea last night and put the leftovers in my freezer. I'd already had my own version for two dinners this week so I could probably do with a change...and not just tortiila chips, biscuits and cream cakes (sigh)

I give thanks for the Cure. Cure for all kinds of sorrows some of their songs can be...

Gold

There's gold in them thar trees...and I give thanks for spotting it and managing to get a photo before the sun moved down behind the hill, though it's blurry as the leaves were flapping about in the breeze!

For abandoning my usual evening fare of true and fictional crime books and TV for the feel good movie Sing Street. This felt even more good for the chap upstairs being out for the evening and the one next door not leaving the extractor fan on for hours either. Despite the many fantasy elements (a boat trip with immobile hair?) the film reminded me of how good it is, if you are that way inclined, to be able to compose music from your emotions. I still miss this dreadfully, and am determined one day I'll find a way again...but of course not while I live in a flat with so little sound insulation...

I give thanks for a lift to knitting from Jenny plus the gift of a couple of empty boxes (just in case). For delivering a bag of mixed items to the food bank collection point at the library...and then on my way home asking a homeless chap on the street if there was anything I could get him. His request of a banana milk shake seemed very reasonable so I threw in a bag of chews for his dog. I give thanks the gods looked down and decided this merited instant karma - the next shop I went in was playing a sonorous cello sonata and the baker's were selling two cream cakes for the price of one :-)

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps

Uh-oh, those summer nights! I give thanks so many people round here are enjoying socialising during the light late evenings but I sure do wish I didn't have to overhear...The guy upstairs deals with the noise outside by turning his music up so I give thanks he didn't go on as long with that as the chatterers in the gardens. I give thanks for earplugs and for remembering a long long time ago I was young and sometimes had fun too!

I give thanks today everyone has either been somewhere else or else mostly quiet. For pottering about with various tasks including a pile of ironing, and for a Time Shift documentary about changing drinking patterns over the last century that made this pass more quickly. Though I used to be far more partial to partaking personally in alcofrolics than I am now, I've always been fascinated by the social rules and rituals that go with its consumption so I thought I'd look to see if I could find a nice popular anthropology tome on Amazon to find out more. Sadly there are way more books available on how to stop drinking too much...

While there was no one to annoy with my own domestic volume I give thanks for also catching up with some old Loose Ends programmes, which gave me some ideas for other books to order...

I give thanks for the rain earlier. The ground and growing things needed it and, as I love to be out in the sun but this means struggling with the difficult stairs and my difficult hair, my body needed it as well. Particular thanks for the sounds of the dampened leaves blowing in the wind...

I give thanks we're half way through the year. I've been losing the will to be grateful in recent months but it feels as if a corner has been turned...