I give thanks for getting lucky with the taxi drivers today. Not only were they both congenial conversational companions, but the one homeward actually came to the right place to collect me after the company was badgered by both the ward clerk and one of the nursing staff.
For beginning to feel comfortable and settled in my new three days a week environment, until the elderly lady opposite me became so unwell I don't think she'll be coming back. She'd rung her bell when her blood pressured dropped, feeling strange as you do when that happens, and I thought she'd fainted at first but then the chap attending her called for help and there was CPR and shocks and adrenaline for half an hour or more before the ambulance team took her away. I felt for her family, I hope they understand how hard everyone tried to bring her round - including me willing her to as wilfully as I could - and for the staff as she'd probably been coming for treatment a long time and was well known to them, likewise to the other patients because even though the curtains were drawn we could still hear everything that was going on. I've been trying to find what to be grateful for in this, and well I know for sure she didn't suffer, or only very slightly and briefly, and she was being reassured and tended to as she slipped away, while for the rest of us a reminder of our own fragile mortality may be difficult to deal with but it is also a blessing to be made aware of how precious this all is, despite all our grumbles and troubles and moans.
Meanwhile I give thanks to thoughtful Ann for sending me a couple of good looking books ie. looking good to read, and also looking still very pristine. I swear she has fairies to turn the pages for her! And to the lovely Ruth for driving over after her shift at the other not so local hospital to pick up the quilt I don't want and take it to the rehabilitation hostel her daughter works trying to get homeless folk back on their feet. I give great thanks for advertising it on Facebook and for someone I know knowing something very useful that could be done with it. For watching a rain shower move across the bay as I sat with my homecoming cuppa and mulled over all of the above. All things must pass.
Wednesday, 31 July 2019
Tuesday, 30 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-onze
Mmm, how lovely to wake up to the sound of wind and rain when tucked up cosy in bed in no hurry to get out of it! I give thanks for an early night and a late lie in and plenty of sleep in between courtesy of one of my magic pills which are controlled, rationed and rightly so as they not only reduce pain but all other unpleasantnesses and those of an addictive personality could become over fond of them I'm sure.
I give thanks for a leisurely morning pottering about with cooking and lounging in the bath while the stiff breeze blew the clouds away and I could pop out for some bits of this and that without getting soaked. For a very exhilarating open top bus ride, and for my hair not blowing away! For the podiatrist being pleased with the state of my toes - I have scabs now which is a very good sign and when they've come off I can be free to get them wet in any way I choose. For popping in to see Jo for a cuppa and natter before I came home, and for more exhilaration in the form of a sudden heavy shower as I walked back, providing fresh legs for the drivers to soak as they drove past. One likes to be of service!
I give thanks my evening meal was mostly cooked this morning, as although the day has seemed quite leisurely it's actually been rather energetic and I'm now mostly incapable of moving at all...
I give thanks for a leisurely morning pottering about with cooking and lounging in the bath while the stiff breeze blew the clouds away and I could pop out for some bits of this and that without getting soaked. For a very exhilarating open top bus ride, and for my hair not blowing away! For the podiatrist being pleased with the state of my toes - I have scabs now which is a very good sign and when they've come off I can be free to get them wet in any way I choose. For popping in to see Jo for a cuppa and natter before I came home, and for more exhilaration in the form of a sudden heavy shower as I walked back, providing fresh legs for the drivers to soak as they drove past. One likes to be of service!
I give thanks my evening meal was mostly cooked this morning, as although the day has seemed quite leisurely it's actually been rather energetic and I'm now mostly incapable of moving at all...
Monday, 29 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-dix
I give thanks even the taxi not turning up to take me home again plus the chilly shower of rain, couldn't dampen my spirits after some pieces of good news today. First of all this morning I found out that yes I have now been moved to the satellite unit as a regular patient, and then before home time that no existing patients there are waiting for the slot I've slipped into so I can keep it and not have to do early morning starts or late evening finishes neither of which appealed that much. I believe the vacancy occurred for the very reason I'd dreaded it might but I didn't like to enquire too closely... I did however enquire from the consultant (who came to sign me up for a clinical trial I'd agreed to) if she'd read my plea for a Wednesday off as well as for medical attempts to stop my hair loss and she said yes she had and it would be just fine!
I gave a lot of thanks for that as I have a very specific reason for wanting a Wednesday, and though I am determined not to count chickens but a plot is hatching nonetheless that makes me very happy just thinking about it. I give thanks for my continuing relatively good health and my very understanding doctor! Oh and talking of relatives I give thanks for Tamsin agreeing to me coming to stay for a weekend some time so I can go out in their boat...and for Jan and I planning a day out meeting in the middle a bit later in the year, which if we book ahead should mean the tickets are cheaper.
I was grateful when the driver did arrive he was an easy going chap I've had before and we could have a bit of a laugh. For driving through 'film rain' is bright sky with shadows on the ground and the shower coming down like a shower! For a large quantity of leftovers ready to heat up when I got home as I was very hungry and a new-to-me episode of Come Dine with Me to enjoy while I ate it. More people watching and wondering about, and from the comfort of my sofa this time!
I gave a lot of thanks for that as I have a very specific reason for wanting a Wednesday, and though I am determined not to count chickens but a plot is hatching nonetheless that makes me very happy just thinking about it. I give thanks for my continuing relatively good health and my very understanding doctor! Oh and talking of relatives I give thanks for Tamsin agreeing to me coming to stay for a weekend some time so I can go out in their boat...and for Jan and I planning a day out meeting in the middle a bit later in the year, which if we book ahead should mean the tickets are cheaper.
I was grateful when the driver did arrive he was an easy going chap I've had before and we could have a bit of a laugh. For driving through 'film rain' is bright sky with shadows on the ground and the shower coming down like a shower! For a large quantity of leftovers ready to heat up when I got home as I was very hungry and a new-to-me episode of Come Dine with Me to enjoy while I ate it. More people watching and wondering about, and from the comfort of my sofa this time!
Sunday, 28 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-neuf
Another day, another...ooh, another boat trip! I give lots of thanks for a half hour pootle down the bay a way and back, setting off from as close to my door as the buses and trains depart, so minimal effort required on a tired and creaky morning. It's been a while since I saw this little stretch of coast from the water and its always exhilarating to view the coves and cliffs from a different perspective, especially as the latter erode and change with time. I give thanks for bright sunshine and my bright smile at actually being on the sea for the first time in almost a year!
I give thanks for that stroll down to little Italy I promised myself yesterday, for some delicious diet naughtiness and a lie down on the beach ostensibly reading a book but actually studying human nature and social norms in action which never fails to fascinate. For trying to understand the motivation that produces opinions and behaviours different from my own, and for understanding I very likely don't come to the right conclusions, though nonetheless some sort of comprehension has got to be a step in the right direction towards compassion I think, don't you? Or maybe you don't! Hmm... I wonder why? Ha ha!
Closest to me were a man and a woman, not in the first flush of youth though well preserved and turned out and possibly on an early date judging by the exchange of information, or at least the stream of information, views, memories etc coming from her and the occasional permitted verbal nod or appreciative remark from the chap! Sometimes he managed to express himself for a sentence or two but any sign of a full stop or pause for breath and she'd be off again. I gave thanks for the time to witness this kind of one sided conversation without having to be the person on the receiving end, wondering if I'm supposed to respond by asking questions and eliciting more details (whether I want them or not) or launch into a monologue of my own. After pondering I still don't know the answer to that, but I give thanks for deciding what might be going on is that people do like to impart knowledge, and the one thing we all have plenty of knowledge of is ourselves, and all we say and do and read and buy and eat and drink and think! So of course there's always masses of stuff to share if we're not aware it might not be as enthralling in the telling as in the recall... I'm very grateful for the reminder to try to be a better listener, and not assume what goes on in my head is automatically welcome in someone else's ears. Also for keeping a sort of journal of course, so I can be as boringly self-absorbed as I need to be and no one else needs to feign any interest at all...
I give thanks for that stroll down to little Italy I promised myself yesterday, for some delicious diet naughtiness and a lie down on the beach ostensibly reading a book but actually studying human nature and social norms in action which never fails to fascinate. For trying to understand the motivation that produces opinions and behaviours different from my own, and for understanding I very likely don't come to the right conclusions, though nonetheless some sort of comprehension has got to be a step in the right direction towards compassion I think, don't you? Or maybe you don't! Hmm... I wonder why? Ha ha!
Closest to me were a man and a woman, not in the first flush of youth though well preserved and turned out and possibly on an early date judging by the exchange of information, or at least the stream of information, views, memories etc coming from her and the occasional permitted verbal nod or appreciative remark from the chap! Sometimes he managed to express himself for a sentence or two but any sign of a full stop or pause for breath and she'd be off again. I gave thanks for the time to witness this kind of one sided conversation without having to be the person on the receiving end, wondering if I'm supposed to respond by asking questions and eliciting more details (whether I want them or not) or launch into a monologue of my own. After pondering I still don't know the answer to that, but I give thanks for deciding what might be going on is that people do like to impart knowledge, and the one thing we all have plenty of knowledge of is ourselves, and all we say and do and read and buy and eat and drink and think! So of course there's always masses of stuff to share if we're not aware it might not be as enthralling in the telling as in the recall... I'm very grateful for the reminder to try to be a better listener, and not assume what goes on in my head is automatically welcome in someone else's ears. Also for keeping a sort of journal of course, so I can be as boringly self-absorbed as I need to be and no one else needs to feign any interest at all...
Saturday, 27 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-huit
I give thanks I still plan days as if I were younger, fitter and far more well than I actually am. Obviously it's potentially a recipe for exasperation and disappointment, but there's plenty of opportunity for those if you have plenty of things the matter with you anyway and I like the idea that in my imagination I can still do so much more than is usually possible.
Today for instance I thought I'd put fresh paint on the last remaining section of bedroom wall that's waiting for it - twice - strolling down for a cappuccino at the kiosk in the next cove along the coast while the first one dried... which didn't even take into account how sore and stiff I'd be after moving the furniture to get to said wall last night. Have you seen Donnie Darko? Do you remember the old lady crossing the road very s-l-o-w-l-y. That was me just moving up and down the rungs of the ladder, and in between coats the only place I was capable of going to was the land of nod!
I give thanks for scrubbing the worst of the paint from my hands and knees (don't ask!), making a quick sandwich, fluffing my tufts over the bald patches and taking a late lunch break in the sunshine by the brook before a start on the skirting and another lengthy rest. I give thanks to the people who work in Tesco and Co-op food production for preparing hummus and coleslaw and garlic bread for my tea...for the confidence I will eventually get upright again to fill a plate with them for my tea
Today for instance I thought I'd put fresh paint on the last remaining section of bedroom wall that's waiting for it - twice - strolling down for a cappuccino at the kiosk in the next cove along the coast while the first one dried... which didn't even take into account how sore and stiff I'd be after moving the furniture to get to said wall last night. Have you seen Donnie Darko? Do you remember the old lady crossing the road very s-l-o-w-l-y. That was me just moving up and down the rungs of the ladder, and in between coats the only place I was capable of going to was the land of nod!
I give thanks for scrubbing the worst of the paint from my hands and knees (don't ask!), making a quick sandwich, fluffing my tufts over the bald patches and taking a late lunch break in the sunshine by the brook before a start on the skirting and another lengthy rest. I give thanks to the people who work in Tesco and Co-op food production for preparing hummus and coleslaw and garlic bread for my tea...for the confidence I will eventually get upright again to fill a plate with them for my tea
Friday, 26 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-sept
I give thanks for getting home at a reasonable hour after only minor transport muddles today. For a new-to-me taxi driver who proved a very interesting person to converse with and shared a mutual loathing of a certain popular local ice cream brand! They use organic milk according to their blurb but must mix it with wallpaper paste or something else that really shouldn't be there... For getting in the door and wondering where the light switch had gone, then remembering we were having new led lights installed earlier. The first thing I noticed when I first stepped over the threshold last year were the wibbly wobbly pendants with mismatched bulbs and crooked yellowed fringed shades. At the time I thought great, that should keep the price and interest level low...but I give many thanks now I've moved in for living somewhere where maintenance and upkeep are on the agenda without involving long drawn out bitter battles.
I give thanks for a relatively pleasant treatment session - it gets easier now I'm beginning to know the staff a little and vice versa - and for taking different headphones to try. They are harder to get over my ears with one hand but make a better seal between what I want to hear and what I don't. Something I've been wanting to hear for a while is that I've got a permanent slot and two members of staff mentioned this as a possibility today, but I've not been formally informed which I believe is the norm so I give thanks for entertaining the idea without assumption or attachment.
I give thanks for a relatively pleasant treatment session - it gets easier now I'm beginning to know the staff a little and vice versa - and for taking different headphones to try. They are harder to get over my ears with one hand but make a better seal between what I want to hear and what I don't. Something I've been wanting to hear for a while is that I've got a permanent slot and two members of staff mentioned this as a possibility today, but I've not been formally informed which I believe is the norm so I give thanks for entertaining the idea without assumption or attachment.
Thursday, 25 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-six
There's few things float my boat like a boat trip so I gave great thanks for a short one today! I'd meant to lie on a beach with a book but my bag seemed absurdly heavy even without the book so I left it behind and just lay on the beach a while instead. That was quite nice, but I'd forgotten quite how long a walk it was from the quay so it was a necessary rest as much as a pleasure! I gave thanks for a renally naughty bag of fish and chips while I was out, and a renally pure frozen whipped oat custard lolly when I got home. This was an experiment...and an excellent success so I was very grateful I tried it!
One of the items in my bag increasing the weight was my camera, and I was grateful I appreciated the irony of only seeing one subject I wanted to use it for...when I was carrying a takeaway tea with nowhere to put it down! Something that wasn't in my bag that should have been was my little mp3 player. Oh the shock when I pulled out the earbuds and it wasn't at the end of and the wires! I give thanks for lots of practice at listening to fractious mums, wailing children and other human noises I'd rather filter out. One old chap was even complaining about the weather...last winter! I guess he should get marks for originality.
I give thanks for a bus journey I've not been on for many years. Lots of sights remembered and forgotten... For a herd of beautiful brown cows, and a lady boarding with a bunch of sweet peas in her hand, fresh picked from a garden I supposed. They filled the air with one of my favourite fragrances..
One of the items in my bag increasing the weight was my camera, and I was grateful I appreciated the irony of only seeing one subject I wanted to use it for...when I was carrying a takeaway tea with nowhere to put it down! Something that wasn't in my bag that should have been was my little mp3 player. Oh the shock when I pulled out the earbuds and it wasn't at the end of and the wires! I give thanks for lots of practice at listening to fractious mums, wailing children and other human noises I'd rather filter out. One old chap was even complaining about the weather...last winter! I guess he should get marks for originality.
I give thanks for a bus journey I've not been on for many years. Lots of sights remembered and forgotten... For a herd of beautiful brown cows, and a lady boarding with a bunch of sweet peas in her hand, fresh picked from a garden I supposed. They filled the air with one of my favourite fragrances..
Wednesday, 24 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-cinq
I was grateful I knew I'd be on a slightly earlier schedule today, with Rachel coming later. For getting up in time to take a cup of tea back to bed and carry on where I had to leave off yesterday with phone calls and emails chasing various outstanding matters...and for some success with one of them I think! For an empty seat in the little park across the road to enjoy some sunshine while I waited for the taxi...and for finding out it wasn't coming in time to go back home and have another go at the long running ebay saga with some success there too - a refund is finally on its way!
I wasn't at all grateful for the grumbly cab driver who finally turned up, in fact I actually asked him to cease and desist his list of complaints about various types of customer, and then tried to head him off from having a moan about other things instead. I think we both gave thanks when we finally found a topic of mutual neutral interest - books and reading! I gave even more thanks when I got to the ward and found my lovely listening consultant had clearly received and acted on my letter last week authorising a change of the anticoagulant they use in the machine and sending a prescription request to my GP for zinc supplements as, one hopes, a double whammy for this pesky hair loss.
I give thanks after much checking and cross checking I managed to ascertain the time the taxi was due to bring me home again, and tailor my treatment time to match as I would only just be in time for Rachel's arrival. I admit after all that checking I was just plain cross when the transport didn't arrive and she was there long before me, but I was grateful she could put the oven on and start some painting...and it was lovely to see her and have a catch up chat, some hasty tasty food and for me to have a restorative treatment while she painted some more. I give thanks for Rachel always being happy to get out of cooking and associated chores!
I wasn't at all grateful for the grumbly cab driver who finally turned up, in fact I actually asked him to cease and desist his list of complaints about various types of customer, and then tried to head him off from having a moan about other things instead. I think we both gave thanks when we finally found a topic of mutual neutral interest - books and reading! I gave even more thanks when I got to the ward and found my lovely listening consultant had clearly received and acted on my letter last week authorising a change of the anticoagulant they use in the machine and sending a prescription request to my GP for zinc supplements as, one hopes, a double whammy for this pesky hair loss.
I give thanks after much checking and cross checking I managed to ascertain the time the taxi was due to bring me home again, and tailor my treatment time to match as I would only just be in time for Rachel's arrival. I admit after all that checking I was just plain cross when the transport didn't arrive and she was there long before me, but I was grateful she could put the oven on and start some painting...and it was lovely to see her and have a catch up chat, some hasty tasty food and for me to have a restorative treatment while she painted some more. I give thanks for Rachel always being happy to get out of cooking and associated chores!
Tuesday, 23 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-quatre
My body battery has been flat today so in between snoozes I've been being grateful for all the power intensive applications I put it through yesterday. I gave thanks for the entryphone allowing the OT fitters access to the building this morning without me having to go downstairs to let them in as just getting dressed to open the flat door was effort enough, and for their work in the bathroom not making it look too much like an old people's home! For leftovers for lunch and a nap. For the sun being hidden behind clouds for much of the day so I didn't feel I was missing my fix.
I give thanks the pain in my joints and muscles eased off somewhat as the afternoon progressed so I was able to go and meet Jo A* at the rather nice cafe a few steps from my door, and that after a pleasant and leisurely time there we both managed a quick trip round the Co - op. For remembering to get cash to pay Rachel for a treatment tomorrow evening as Jo B* is poorly so she and John aren't coming after all. For Clive saying he'd try to get the picture rail from B&Q I'd been hoping maybe they would as they don't stock it at the ones nearer here.
I give thanks for almost reassembling the corner of my room after bits of painting there the last few days. It would be nice if I could finish the vacuuming but if I don't I'll be grateful the carpet between the door and bed is clean!
* please note A and B are their initials, not some rating system!
I give thanks the pain in my joints and muscles eased off somewhat as the afternoon progressed so I was able to go and meet Jo A* at the rather nice cafe a few steps from my door, and that after a pleasant and leisurely time there we both managed a quick trip round the Co - op. For remembering to get cash to pay Rachel for a treatment tomorrow evening as Jo B* is poorly so she and John aren't coming after all. For Clive saying he'd try to get the picture rail from B&Q I'd been hoping maybe they would as they don't stock it at the ones nearer here.
I give thanks for almost reassembling the corner of my room after bits of painting there the last few days. It would be nice if I could finish the vacuuming but if I don't I'll be grateful the carpet between the door and bed is clean!
* please note A and B are their initials, not some rating system!
Monday, 22 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-trois
Mellow yellow - I give thanks for creating some out of a pot of one far too acid bright for the job I had in mind! For the intense pleasure I can get from colours, patterns, arrangements etc that I feel are just right. Some may call this a mental illness but I'm very happy to get my kicks this way thank you very much...
For my treatment starting and finishing in good time, and a punctual and pleasant driver so I felt like doing some decorating tasks when I got home, instead of being zombified by hours of hanging around.
For waking up this morning before the alarm on my new phone went off so I could find out if I'd set it right and how to stop it alarming me... For meeting a GP at the surgery I would see again, although of course I'd be happy not to! For surviving his vicious prodding of my toes and for his verdict they are currently infection free but to be very careful as I'm not out of the woods yet. For walking back through the mini woods by the side of the car park...
For buying a rather grand pendant light at half price in the shop just round the corner which will look most splendid in my hallway when it's done I think...or in the lounge if I think wrong.
For all in all a rather splendid day :-)
For my treatment starting and finishing in good time, and a punctual and pleasant driver so I felt like doing some decorating tasks when I got home, instead of being zombified by hours of hanging around.
For waking up this morning before the alarm on my new phone went off so I could find out if I'd set it right and how to stop it alarming me... For meeting a GP at the surgery I would see again, although of course I'd be happy not to! For surviving his vicious prodding of my toes and for his verdict they are currently infection free but to be very careful as I'm not out of the woods yet. For walking back through the mini woods by the side of the car park...
For buying a rather grand pendant light at half price in the shop just round the corner which will look most splendid in my hallway when it's done I think...or in the lounge if I think wrong.
For all in all a rather splendid day :-)
Sunday, 21 July 2019
Quarte-vingt-deux
Oh my goodness (doesn't seem quite adequate enough an exclamation to be followed by...) how much I enjoyed my Trainspotting binge! I give great thanks for having the foresight to record the first film ready to watch again before the sequel, even though at the time I thought that might be at the cinema rather than at home a long time later. I've often said movies are my drug of choice and it's a while since I've had such a strong and prolonged treatment - did me the world of good - and lounging around on the sofa for several hours with no action or human interaction required was very welcome as well.
I give thanks for having a spare room with a comfy bed already made up so I didn't have to reassemble the my sleeping space last night, and for a long lie in in the morning with my book. For live music nearby eventually making me get up though I didn't have much energy to do a lot when I did. For some intermittent bits of painting, assisted by Clive and Bob removing things that were in the way of this continuing, and for Mima for leaving her magic top edge reaching brush behind so that I could! For the pleasure of seeing more patches of colour now joined up to create increasing coverage. Magnolia may be a sweet thing but not on every wall!
I give thanks for braving the shower and coming out with still some hair on my head. For the son coming out too so I felt moved to move outdoors to eat my sandwich discovering discovered a display of classic cars on the lawn, vintage buses and trucks on the street, a bowling match, WI serving refreshments and a very enjoyable tight country blues rock trio with a proper stand up thumping bass and tremolo arm on lead guitar... I would dearly love a proper holiday, it's been a long time and will probably be a lot longer yet...but oh to be in England when summer's here has its compensations. And one can appreciate the irony of signs you see like this one yesterday...
I give thanks for having a spare room with a comfy bed already made up so I didn't have to reassemble the my sleeping space last night, and for a long lie in in the morning with my book. For live music nearby eventually making me get up though I didn't have much energy to do a lot when I did. For some intermittent bits of painting, assisted by Clive and Bob removing things that were in the way of this continuing, and for Mima for leaving her magic top edge reaching brush behind so that I could! For the pleasure of seeing more patches of colour now joined up to create increasing coverage. Magnolia may be a sweet thing but not on every wall!
I give thanks for braving the shower and coming out with still some hair on my head. For the son coming out too so I felt moved to move outdoors to eat my sandwich discovering discovered a display of classic cars on the lawn, vintage buses and trucks on the street, a bowling match, WI serving refreshments and a very enjoyable tight country blues rock trio with a proper stand up thumping bass and tremolo arm on lead guitar... I would dearly love a proper holiday, it's been a long time and will probably be a lot longer yet...but oh to be in England when summer's here has its compensations. And one can appreciate the irony of signs you see like this one yesterday...
Saturday, 20 July 2019
Quatre-vingt-un
I gave thanks for all that lovely rain yesterday but was still grateful to see the brightness chasing the clouds away early this morning, and (slightly) for the postman ringing the entryphone way before eight so I could get up and see it! I was grateful the box he couldn't get through the letterbox was full of dressings for my poorly toes, finally arrived after a tedious battle with the company who insisted I hadn't completed checkout even though I had, and PayPal had transfered the dosh. I give thanks for believing eventually I'll be as successful at getting either a replacement quilt for the one Hermes delivered to some unknown spot or my money back...but I fear it may be some time...
Yesterday was a long old day due to various administrative muddles and I got home hungry, cross, too late to do the stuff I'd been planning but extremely grateful I managed to move home before this life saving but somewhat life treatment started so I could at least be glad to shut the door behind me! Today, still weary, I gave thanks for continuing to not do the things I meant to do and stay in bed late with a book and a body full of aches and pains.
I give thanks for trying many things to get me going when I got up - retail therapy, an unintentional rural mystery tour with Mima, nice ice cream in the sun, even continuing with lower down some painting after she did some top bits. My heart wasn't in the day however, and having realised I had just enough time to watch the first Trainspotting before the second one started on TV I gave thanks I had a damn fine reason for opting out for a few hours of it!
Yesterday was a long old day due to various administrative muddles and I got home hungry, cross, too late to do the stuff I'd been planning but extremely grateful I managed to move home before this life saving but somewhat life treatment started so I could at least be glad to shut the door behind me! Today, still weary, I gave thanks for continuing to not do the things I meant to do and stay in bed late with a book and a body full of aches and pains.
I give thanks for trying many things to get me going when I got up - retail therapy, an unintentional rural mystery tour with Mima, nice ice cream in the sun, even continuing with lower down some painting after she did some top bits. My heart wasn't in the day however, and having realised I had just enough time to watch the first Trainspotting before the second one started on TV I gave thanks I had a damn fine reason for opting out for a few hours of it!
Friday, 19 July 2019
Quatre-vingts
Still battling with almost everything at close to midnight yesterday I give thanks for remembering to meditate, be mindful, and grateful for all the opportunities to learn and grow, adapt, accept and be patient that had come my way. Particularly welcome (in hindsight, though not so much at the time! ) were chances to get better at dealing with physical pain and the exasperation that comes from expecting people to behave in the ways that I'd prefer rather than those that they have chosen. For being well aware others frequently feel the same about me!
I give thanks for more valiant attempts at sorting out a few situations requiring phone calls and emails, not getting very far but feeling I'd done my best in the gap between being ready for transport at an unspecified time and it turning up.
I give thanks though the taxi was early the traffic was very slow so I got to the hospital at about the right time (to wait a long time!) and was also able to take more notice of things beside the road as we gradually passed by, including some starkly beautiful dead trees and a postman strolling along with one letter in each hand!
I give thanks there are so many folk in the world who like to talk about topics that seem to me mind numbingly dull. This means they have a good chance of finding compatible conversational companions (perhaps while waiting for or receiving dialysis?) and don't have to put up with my monosyllabic mumbled replies. I also give great thanks for earbuds and Imee Ooi!
I give thanks for more valiant attempts at sorting out a few situations requiring phone calls and emails, not getting very far but feeling I'd done my best in the gap between being ready for transport at an unspecified time and it turning up.
I give thanks though the taxi was early the traffic was very slow so I got to the hospital at about the right time (to wait a long time!) and was also able to take more notice of things beside the road as we gradually passed by, including some starkly beautiful dead trees and a postman strolling along with one letter in each hand!
I give thanks there are so many folk in the world who like to talk about topics that seem to me mind numbingly dull. This means they have a good chance of finding compatible conversational companions (perhaps while waiting for or receiving dialysis?) and don't have to put up with my monosyllabic mumbled replies. I also give great thanks for earbuds and Imee Ooi!
Thursday, 18 July 2019
Soixante-dix-neuf
I give thanks for a reasonable amount of energy right up to bed time last night...maybe persistently but politely requesting my prescribed EPO is beginning to pay off. Putting it to good use did mean I could hardly move this morning, so I was grateful the first tasks on the to-do list today were sending emails, leaving voice mails and listening to hold music in so far futile attempts to acquire goods bought and paid for and untraceable via unforgiving electronic systems, as though tough on the blood pressure this was easy on the joints! I give thanks this is a gratitude blog otherwise I might be tempted to have a right old rant...and that would serve little purpose as, as far as I know, none of my readers are employed by the companies involved.
I give thanks for remembering I have some Rude Tube episodes recorded as a right old laugh did help to dissipate my bad humour. And for doing a little more painting despite feeling far more feeble than last night. I'm grateful I love decorating, and that at the pace I'm going the work I have in mind will last me a long while yet.
I give thanks forg myself an hour or two off to get some fresh fruit and veg, vegan sausage rolls and chalk paint in the next door town as they're not available here. For meeting Mima to try a cafe we'd not been to before, and won't be going to again unless we don't have cake. Ych a fi, way too sweet and sickly - thank goodness it was cheap!
I give thanks for braving washing my hair and some staying on my head. For it drying fluffy to help conceal the gaps, and for having a plan if gets much worse and the docs don't know how to fix it. I shall have it shaved off, and then when I've a covering of more than stubble I think I might go blonde!
I give thanks for remembering I have some Rude Tube episodes recorded as a right old laugh did help to dissipate my bad humour. And for doing a little more painting despite feeling far more feeble than last night. I'm grateful I love decorating, and that at the pace I'm going the work I have in mind will last me a long while yet.
I give thanks forg myself an hour or two off to get some fresh fruit and veg, vegan sausage rolls and chalk paint in the next door town as they're not available here. For meeting Mima to try a cafe we'd not been to before, and won't be going to again unless we don't have cake. Ych a fi, way too sweet and sickly - thank goodness it was cheap!
I give thanks for braving washing my hair and some staying on my head. For it drying fluffy to help conceal the gaps, and for having a plan if gets much worse and the docs don't know how to fix it. I shall have it shaved off, and then when I've a covering of more than stubble I think I might go blonde!
Wednesday, 17 July 2019
Soixante-dix-huit
I give thanks I was told yesterday I'd be on the other unit today, and when I got here I found out I'd be here on Friday too. It's nicer to have some warning, and as I'm booked in slightly earlier, there's a fair chance of getting home while there's a bit more day left which is always a bonus. Today that didn't go according to plan but still arrived with enough time, light and energy to do a little painting as hoped, for which I was very grateful.
I give thanks, though not knowing what time to expect transport, I managed to write print and post a letter to my renal consultant regarding hair loss which may be treatment related and the possibility of another day off...as well as all the usual chores before the taxi came Well, one can but hope eh? I give thanks for it being a chap I can have a good chat with, and for meeting two different staff on the ward I'd be happy to meet again. Both admired my tattoo which probably had a lot to do with it! For the ward clerk seeming less dragon like...and for a side room too. Always more pleasant to be slightly removef from the thick of things I find.
I give thanks for this lovely trivet pot stand thing, a surprise gift that arrived from Jan today. Seems almost too nice to use...but of course I shall, and be grateful every time :-)
I give thanks, though not knowing what time to expect transport, I managed to write print and post a letter to my renal consultant regarding hair loss which may be treatment related and the possibility of another day off...as well as all the usual chores before the taxi came Well, one can but hope eh? I give thanks for it being a chap I can have a good chat with, and for meeting two different staff on the ward I'd be happy to meet again. Both admired my tattoo which probably had a lot to do with it! For the ward clerk seeming less dragon like...and for a side room too. Always more pleasant to be slightly removef from the thick of things I find.
I give thanks for this lovely trivet pot stand thing, a surprise gift that arrived from Jan today. Seems almost too nice to use...but of course I shall, and be grateful every time :-)
Tuesday, 16 July 2019
Soixante-dix-sept
Mulling over the strange twist of fate last night, and how best to react to it, I was grateful to be distracted when a young member of staff, in the process of moving away to London to study for a nursing degree and live with his girlfriend, came to take me off the machine. I asked how things were in his world and he opened up about some of his fears and then asked what was on my mind so I could tell him mine! It turns out he comes from a slightly similar background to me and, despite our many obvious differences, could actually understand.
I was very tired and stiff this morning so was grateful I could have a slow start. In fact I stayed slow and stiff all day but not in a great deal of pain so I could give thanks for getting a few important tasks gradually done like showing the OT lady where some grab rails might help, putting a bit of filler in the holes Bob had made at my request by removing surplus to requirements cable pins, rawlplugs and screws, and putting a bit of filling between two slices of bread to take with a book to find a peaceful seat in the sun. I had a feeling this might involve walking further than I would have preferred today but I was grateful for lots of other seats for rests on the way and for the one I ended up on being just right.
I give thanks for meeting Jo on her new powered wheelchair off for the first time on her own to meet someone for lunch, and that next week this might be me - meeting Jo, not riding around in a wheelchair! For a snooze and some Netflix when I came home, and that the antibiotics are messing with my appetite again so there's no need to go to a lot of trouble for tea!
I was very tired and stiff this morning so was grateful I could have a slow start. In fact I stayed slow and stiff all day but not in a great deal of pain so I could give thanks for getting a few important tasks gradually done like showing the OT lady where some grab rails might help, putting a bit of filler in the holes Bob had made at my request by removing surplus to requirements cable pins, rawlplugs and screws, and putting a bit of filling between two slices of bread to take with a book to find a peaceful seat in the sun. I had a feeling this might involve walking further than I would have preferred today but I was grateful for lots of other seats for rests on the way and for the one I ended up on being just right.
I give thanks for meeting Jo on her new powered wheelchair off for the first time on her own to meet someone for lunch, and that next week this might be me - meeting Jo, not riding around in a wheelchair! For a snooze and some Netflix when I came home, and that the antibiotics are messing with my appetite again so there's no need to go to a lot of trouble for tea!
Monday, 15 July 2019
Soixante-seize
What a lovely long weekend I've had. I give thanks for Bob's company and help about the place, and for enjoying the holiday feeling doing leisurely local things together in fabulous summery weather. I am so grateful although we don't see each other often it's not because we don't get on when we do!
It's been a bit of a downer today having to get ready for returning to dialysis as well as his departure but of course I'm grateful for the treatment and its benefits, and though I'm probably not going to be very grateful for being late home it was nice to have a late start and spend some more time together. And for the more mellow atmosphere on the ward after the daytime bustle, though no sign of a tea trolley - so I'm grateful I had one before I got on the bus from the city. We also managed to arrange things so he saw me off rather than the other way round which is always a bonus.
I give thanks for my cousin Tamsin getting in touch with some news that's going to take a bit of taking in...thank goodness I've just been offered a cup of tea to mull it over with!
It's been a bit of a downer today having to get ready for returning to dialysis as well as his departure but of course I'm grateful for the treatment and its benefits, and though I'm probably not going to be very grateful for being late home it was nice to have a late start and spend some more time together. And for the more mellow atmosphere on the ward after the daytime bustle, though no sign of a tea trolley - so I'm grateful I had one before I got on the bus from the city. We also managed to arrange things so he saw me off rather than the other way round which is always a bonus.
I give thanks for my cousin Tamsin getting in touch with some news that's going to take a bit of taking in...thank goodness I've just been offered a cup of tea to mull it over with!
Sunday, 14 July 2019
Soixante-quinze
I give thanks it's been Bob-a-job weekend here! Lots of little odd tasks out of the way that I was struggling with, and which were holding up progress on stuff I can still manage. I was grateful for a cup of tea to coax me out of bed the second time and treat of a capuccino not long after at the Italian kiosk a short walk down the coast to fire me up for coming back the long way round admiring the views and trying to work out which buildings we could recognise from the pictures of old paintings of the area on an information board.
For a lovely mellow atmosphere on the lawn here with the big screen showing the Wimbledon men's final and some stalls for the spectators to refresh themselves or dip into their wallets. There were lots of more tourist orientated events on in nearby towns so it was much more chilled than it might have been despite being (for me) perfectly comfortably warm, and for the traders reasonably well attended.
I give great thanks for discovering Daisy the henna tattoo lady plying her trade! I'd only been saying a couple of days ago that I'd like to have the lower part of my fistula arm decorated to help me enjoy the sight of it more so I treated myself to one of her pretty doodles and I was grateful for an extra pair of hands to get the limb wrapped up to help it fix...
For a lovely mellow atmosphere on the lawn here with the big screen showing the Wimbledon men's final and some stalls for the spectators to refresh themselves or dip into their wallets. There were lots of more tourist orientated events on in nearby towns so it was much more chilled than it might have been despite being (for me) perfectly comfortably warm, and for the traders reasonably well attended.
I give great thanks for discovering Daisy the henna tattoo lady plying her trade! I'd only been saying a couple of days ago that I'd like to have the lower part of my fistula arm decorated to help me enjoy the sight of it more so I treated myself to one of her pretty doodles and I was grateful for an extra pair of hands to get the limb wrapped up to help it fix...
Saturday, 13 July 2019
Soixante-quatorze
I give thanks for lots to be grateful for today! Including for having a bit of a lie in for starters, and when I finally got to the pharmacy for them not only having received my prescription but this time having the pills in stock and, though the person in front of me was told theirs would be ready in an hour, mine were done straight away. So I was grateful to get the medical stuff out the way and be able to take off for an afternoon out with Bob.
We were both grateful it being cloudier. Me, I love the sun but I had a pretty good idea it would be quieter where we were going if there was less of it. I give thanks for a scenic bus and cliff railway ride to get there and being right when we did! For a table free to fill with an extensive and expensive banquet which we had to linger over for a very long time before the remainder would fit in some takeaway boxes to come home...
Friday, 12 July 2019
Soixante-treize
I have to be grateful for practicing gratitude as it's been one of those days when otherwise one might feel moved to complain on several occasions. Though feeling frustrated and rather emotionally battered by its twists and turns, I'm grateful for at least trying to recover my equilibrium, and to be polite to people around me. For it being someone I get on quite well with who put the needles in and took them out so I didn't have to try to grin and bear small talk. It was the woman who sprayed my cardigan with blood a while back and she returned it to me pristinely laundered, bless her!
It's been lovely to have Bob here of course and I was looking forward to unwinding withhim when I eventually got back from the hospital, but when I found out he'd gone out actually I was grateful for the time to unwind by myself without offloading my troubles and tensions. I sat in the sunshine in the little park across the road gradually letting go, and gave great thanks when I managed to be more mindful of my surroundings and saw a little random meadowsweet plant by the brook! What a wonderful discovery...I had to squat down in a most unseemly fashion to have a sniff but I was most grateful I did for the lovely fragrance and for the fluffiness of the flowers on my nose!
I give thanks for Bob returning in time to enjoy an ice cream with me from the kiosk, for a GP responding to my worries about still slightly infected toes with a message saying he'd send a further prescription to the chemist for tomorrow, and for having the food I'd prepared earlier heated up and brought to me while I soaked my wounds in salt water.
It's been lovely to have Bob here of course and I was looking forward to unwinding withhim when I eventually got back from the hospital, but when I found out he'd gone out actually I was grateful for the time to unwind by myself without offloading my troubles and tensions. I sat in the sunshine in the little park across the road gradually letting go, and gave great thanks when I managed to be more mindful of my surroundings and saw a little random meadowsweet plant by the brook! What a wonderful discovery...I had to squat down in a most unseemly fashion to have a sniff but I was most grateful I did for the lovely fragrance and for the fluffiness of the flowers on my nose!
I give thanks for Bob returning in time to enjoy an ice cream with me from the kiosk, for a GP responding to my worries about still slightly infected toes with a message saying he'd send a further prescription to the chemist for tomorrow, and for having the food I'd prepared earlier heated up and brought to me while I soaked my wounds in salt water.
Thursday, 11 July 2019
Soixante-douze
I give thanks for all the knowledge gained through problems setting up my new phone. I learnt to talk to Google, that I have alien skin that won't work a fingerprint sensor and that chaps who make how to tech videos on YouTube are even more annoying than chapesses who make craft ones... I was particularly grateful eventually I also learned how to do a factory reset and start again!
I give thanks for waking early to make a start the many chores I wanted to get done before Bob arrived. The most important, and most energetic, was rearranging the spare room somewhat... which was somewhat exhausting and left me running even more behind with other tasks. For finding a way to make up the spare bed without the far too warm winter duvet or the summer one I was chasing a week ago that still hasn't materialised. For being polite in my response to the ineffective action by the seller. This time they asked me to check on the Hermes site with the tracking number - which of course shows the item as delivered, and who will only answer queries by the person who sent the item not the person waiting to receive it.
I give thanks it's been a mostly grey day so, though there were a good many things I could have go on with outdoors I was happy to stay inside and flollop on the sofa in between bouts of productivity.
I give thanks for the Tesco delivery driver arriving early, and when I said I needed a few mins to get ready to come downstairs he was happy to be buzzed in and bring it upstairs. Oh goodness me I give thanks for that entryphone :-)
I give thanks for hearing, though much delayed, Bob is nearly here!
I give thanks for waking early to make a start the many chores I wanted to get done before Bob arrived. The most important, and most energetic, was rearranging the spare room somewhat... which was somewhat exhausting and left me running even more behind with other tasks. For finding a way to make up the spare bed without the far too warm winter duvet or the summer one I was chasing a week ago that still hasn't materialised. For being polite in my response to the ineffective action by the seller. This time they asked me to check on the Hermes site with the tracking number - which of course shows the item as delivered, and who will only answer queries by the person who sent the item not the person waiting to receive it.
I give thanks it's been a mostly grey day so, though there were a good many things I could have go on with outdoors I was happy to stay inside and flollop on the sofa in between bouts of productivity.
I give thanks for the Tesco delivery driver arriving early, and when I said I needed a few mins to get ready to come downstairs he was happy to be buzzed in and bring it upstairs. Oh goodness me I give thanks for that entryphone :-)
I give thanks for hearing, though much delayed, Bob is nearly here!
Wednesday, 10 July 2019
Soixante-onze
Oops, nearly forgot my blog! It's been a topsy turvy evening after a muddled kind of day. I give thanks for requesting improvements to dialysis procedures and meds...and await developments with non- attached optimism.
I give thanks for a really good acupuncture treatment to help me feel calmer and stronger. For Rachel painting some top parts of walls while the needles did their thing, and for a splendid picnic banquet to follow. For eating much more than I have done for a while... For finding the name of my favourite standing stones in Britanny to pass on to her husband who is down that way pretty soon.
I give thanks for remembering to check out my amended Tesco order for tomorrow before the cut off point. All I have to do now is to remember to clean the paint brushes and to redress my toes and then I think I am off duty. I give thanks my new sim has finally arrived, and as the stopped one had to be reactivated temporarily I now have to wait for the new one to be before I can see if I give thanks for my new phone or not!
I give thanks for admiring the hedgerows when stuck in traffic earlier. There was meadowsweet in one - a plant which I adore. I must try to get somewhere where I can get my nose near a sprig or two while it is in flower.
I give thanks for a really good acupuncture treatment to help me feel calmer and stronger. For Rachel painting some top parts of walls while the needles did their thing, and for a splendid picnic banquet to follow. For eating much more than I have done for a while... For finding the name of my favourite standing stones in Britanny to pass on to her husband who is down that way pretty soon.
I give thanks for remembering to check out my amended Tesco order for tomorrow before the cut off point. All I have to do now is to remember to clean the paint brushes and to redress my toes and then I think I am off duty. I give thanks my new sim has finally arrived, and as the stopped one had to be reactivated temporarily I now have to wait for the new one to be before I can see if I give thanks for my new phone or not!
I give thanks for admiring the hedgerows when stuck in traffic earlier. There was meadowsweet in one - a plant which I adore. I must try to get somewhere where I can get my nose near a sprig or two while it is in flower.
Tuesday, 9 July 2019
Soixante-dix
I give thanks for Portuguese tarts! A little of what you fancy always seems to me to be the best way to deal with diminished appetite and this morning I really fancied a pastel de nata to go with my mug of tea. I was of course extremely grateful for a bag of them in the freezer...and for discovering these delights in the exotic location of Newcastle railway station a couple of years ago. I give thanks for them also being less noisy than the toast I made in the night to try to settle my tummy to sleep. Yep, that serviced fire alarm is working a treat!
I give thanks for feeling better than I did, though every dose of antibiotics sets me back again. For working out how I could accommodate a visit from Rachel tomorrow evening as alternative dates suggested didn't work for one or other of us. I'm sure a treatment will do me good. and to get round the fact the meds schedule means I won't be able to eat the same time as her I shall sort out a picky bits picnicky kind of tea. I give thanks for working slowly through preparation for this, and for Bob coming Friday evening in between bouts of lying down and groaning. What doesn't get done just doesn't get done I keep telling myself - a very handy philosophy as it turned out as, due to a senior moment on my part taking in the contents of an email a few weeks ago, and several son moments not getting round to replying to responses, it was only this afternoon I grasped that he was coming on Thursday not Friday after all! I'd been so pleased to have my request to change treatment slot to accommodate meeting him as well...Oh well, he can have a laid back lie in while I head off to hospital
I give thanks for also being philosophical about computer systems that work against both customer and service adviser, so that only do ebay repeatedly send me messages that me my parcel is waiting for me at the shop even though the shop confirms it's not, but my mobile provider insists my new sim will arrive by post today despite the fact the postperson has long since been and gone...
Oh and for finding this photo of the roadside greenery creeping in on my open top bus ride the other day...
I give thanks for feeling better than I did, though every dose of antibiotics sets me back again. For working out how I could accommodate a visit from Rachel tomorrow evening as alternative dates suggested didn't work for one or other of us. I'm sure a treatment will do me good. and to get round the fact the meds schedule means I won't be able to eat the same time as her I shall sort out a picky bits picnicky kind of tea. I give thanks for working slowly through preparation for this, and for Bob coming Friday evening in between bouts of lying down and groaning. What doesn't get done just doesn't get done I keep telling myself - a very handy philosophy as it turned out as, due to a senior moment on my part taking in the contents of an email a few weeks ago, and several son moments not getting round to replying to responses, it was only this afternoon I grasped that he was coming on Thursday not Friday after all! I'd been so pleased to have my request to change treatment slot to accommodate meeting him as well...Oh well, he can have a laid back lie in while I head off to hospital
I give thanks for also being philosophical about computer systems that work against both customer and service adviser, so that only do ebay repeatedly send me messages that me my parcel is waiting for me at the shop even though the shop confirms it's not, but my mobile provider insists my new sim will arrive by post today despite the fact the postperson has long since been and gone...
Oh and for finding this photo of the roadside greenery creeping in on my open top bus ride the other day...
Monday, 8 July 2019
Soixante-neuf
Phew, I give thanks for very gradually starting to feel a little better.
For managing to suppress the nausea enough to eat some small portions of food. And attend to my toes dressings, which tends to start me off again!
For managing to do the basic necessaries to prepare for leaving the building, and liaise with the taxi driver despite not being able to receive a text to say when he was on his way, nor a call in case he got lost. For lots of snoozing during treatment, and for not caring a bit there was no control for the TV.
For cancelling my appointment with the dentist for a filling tomorrow morning. I've quite enough to deal with at the mo!
For managing to suppress the nausea enough to eat some small portions of food. And attend to my toes dressings, which tends to start me off again!
For managing to do the basic necessaries to prepare for leaving the building, and liaise with the taxi driver despite not being able to receive a text to say when he was on his way, nor a call in case he got lost. For lots of snoozing during treatment, and for not caring a bit there was no control for the TV.
For cancelling my appointment with the dentist for a filling tomorrow morning. I've quite enough to deal with at the mo!
Sunday, 7 July 2019
Soixante-huit
Bleurgh! I'm grateful the antibiotics seem to be beginning to have an effect on my poorly toes as other parts of my body are still finding them hard work. I give thanks for less pain anyway as the fine print in the box says you're not supposed to take paracetamol. Also I was advised by the GP if there was no sign of improvement in 48 hrs I needed to get advice from the hospital and that would have been far too much effort today so I give thanks I didn't have to.
I give thanks for lavish quantities of Netflix and sleep, and my decimated appetite meaning only minimal kitchen duties. You're supposed to take the meds on an empty stomach, so I'm grateful this has been easier to arrange today. The worst bit for nausea is the hour afterwards when you are not supposed to eat so I guess that's something to be grateful for too as it makes it much easier to resist, and for reading on line that drinking lots of water with them helps, it does seem to help a little. I give thanks for still being OK to drink lots of water!
I'm grateful I've felt too below par to care about the very messy state of the place...When I start to feel better I'm sure it will bug me much more, but then I'll feel much more capable of doing something about it
I give thanks for lavish quantities of Netflix and sleep, and my decimated appetite meaning only minimal kitchen duties. You're supposed to take the meds on an empty stomach, so I'm grateful this has been easier to arrange today. The worst bit for nausea is the hour afterwards when you are not supposed to eat so I guess that's something to be grateful for too as it makes it much easier to resist, and for reading on line that drinking lots of water with them helps, it does seem to help a little. I give thanks for still being OK to drink lots of water!
I'm grateful I've felt too below par to care about the very messy state of the place...When I start to feel better I'm sure it will bug me much more, but then I'll feel much more capable of doing something about it
Saturday, 6 July 2019
Soixante-sept
I'm grateful to Coco Gauff for spinning out but staying in that match last night - I really needed a long lounge on the sofa! I rarely find women tennis players gripping viewing but she is a rare woman tennis player, despite only being fifteen... For the beautiful clouds at sunset, and for the pub in the alley behind my flat having a loud live band to stop me going to bed too early as I needed to stay up late to take the pills for my feet.
This morning I was grateful my toes looked no worse, though still no sign of getting better, despite have that queasiness that sometimes comes with anitbiotics. For Mima being at a loose end too so arranging to meet her to picnic on the grassy bank overlooking the bay for the Airshow, and managing to meet Gary on the way. For finding ani nausea pills in my bag to help make that side of things easier to bear, and enjoyable displays.
It's not all been about planes. I give thanks for an open top bus ride, two passenger ferry crossings, a convoy of vintage American cars and vans passing my window by road and a steam rain on the railway! Oh and I tried my first vegan Magnum...can see why my non dairy eating friends are hooked. Reminded me that when I was in a Gregg's the other day saying I loved their vegan sausage rolls although I wasn't one, they replied they actually outsold the meat variety now as people preferred the lack of greasiness.
This morning I was grateful my toes looked no worse, though still no sign of getting better, despite have that queasiness that sometimes comes with anitbiotics. For Mima being at a loose end too so arranging to meet her to picnic on the grassy bank overlooking the bay for the Airshow, and managing to meet Gary on the way. For finding ani nausea pills in my bag to help make that side of things easier to bear, and enjoyable displays.
It's not all been about planes. I give thanks for an open top bus ride, two passenger ferry crossings, a convoy of vintage American cars and vans passing my window by road and a steam rain on the railway! Oh and I tried my first vegan Magnum...can see why my non dairy eating friends are hooked. Reminded me that when I was in a Gregg's the other day saying I loved their vegan sausage rolls although I wasn't one, they replied they actually outsold the meat variety now as people preferred the lack of greasiness.
Friday, 5 July 2019
Soixante-six
Goodness me! Who would have thought infected toesies could be so painful? I give thanks for post walking cramps and equipment malfunction in the night helping that discomfort blend in with all the others...and, though I kept waking up, for getting back to sleep again easily. For my antibiotics being ready at the pharmacist, and for being hopeful they will do the trick.
For remembering to look up the bird I saw yesterday, a grey wagtail apparently, despite being noticeably yellow! And for Facebook pictures of Bob willingly walking in the countryside with Siobhan. I tried to enthuse him with delight for this wonderful pastime when he was a young lad without success, so it's lovely to see he's got there in his own time. I give thanks for being taken though beautiful countryside by a bus driver today, that's as good as it gets right now...
I give thanks for my new phone. I mean actually NEW! I'm very grateful for this but it's been a while and technology has moved along since that last happened so there's been a few teething problems, like the tool for opening the SIM tray falling through a wormhole in the carpet to another dimension, and when it reappeared in this version of reality and I could use it I found my card is too anciently large to fit in the new piece of kit. I give thanks my own phone is still hanging on, that I could ask Google via that to set the new one up, and that after some lengthy live chat I believe a replacement daintier SIM on its way. I give thanks for not having to actually call any customer service department about this as there's been far too much of that with the missing ebay item. Advisors keep assuring me this is ready for collection as their system says the same thing as mine. They buyer can't seem to grasp the situation and first of all said they'd send the courier round to my home to show me where they'd left the parcel, and then said I should try a different Collect+ store in case they have it. The collection point store owner meanwhile is getting fed up of being phoned about it and says he's too busy to discuss it right now! The item is a new quilt for the spare room bed for visitors like Bob next week so I do hope they sort it soon...
For remembering to look up the bird I saw yesterday, a grey wagtail apparently, despite being noticeably yellow! And for Facebook pictures of Bob willingly walking in the countryside with Siobhan. I tried to enthuse him with delight for this wonderful pastime when he was a young lad without success, so it's lovely to see he's got there in his own time. I give thanks for being taken though beautiful countryside by a bus driver today, that's as good as it gets right now...
I give thanks for my new phone. I mean actually NEW! I'm very grateful for this but it's been a while and technology has moved along since that last happened so there's been a few teething problems, like the tool for opening the SIM tray falling through a wormhole in the carpet to another dimension, and when it reappeared in this version of reality and I could use it I found my card is too anciently large to fit in the new piece of kit. I give thanks my own phone is still hanging on, that I could ask Google via that to set the new one up, and that after some lengthy live chat I believe a replacement daintier SIM on its way. I give thanks for not having to actually call any customer service department about this as there's been far too much of that with the missing ebay item. Advisors keep assuring me this is ready for collection as their system says the same thing as mine. They buyer can't seem to grasp the situation and first of all said they'd send the courier round to my home to show me where they'd left the parcel, and then said I should try a different Collect+ store in case they have it. The collection point store owner meanwhile is getting fed up of being phoned about it and says he's too busy to discuss it right now! The item is a new quilt for the spare room bed for visitors like Bob next week so I do hope they sort it soon...
Thursday, 4 July 2019
Soixante-cinq
I thought it might be nice to get away from it all today, or at least away from hospital attendance and the thickest throngs of tourists. Somehow this had to be juggled around not only a delivery of stoma supplies at an unspecified time, but the lengthy procedures involved in getting treatment for my now infected toes. After a lengthy wait to speak to someone at podiatry I was told I could see someone next week or go to my GP, and after a medium wait to speak to someone there I was told to come in this afternoon. I was very grateful for this as I'm in increasing pain, and even more so when I had notification the delivery would be after I'd be back from that - even taking into account another long wait to actually be seen!
I give thanks for setting out early so I could have a paper bag lunch in this pretty little park at the top of town followed by a 75p choc ice from the friendliest corner shop up there. That was my away from it all staycation part of the day and very pleasant it was too. albeit all to brief! Unfortunately the GP admitted she didn't know much about toenail removal or kidney failure but agreed antibiotics were needed and suggested a low dose for now to see if that was enough to fix it, and if not to check with the renal team on Monday to see if the strength could be increased. This was fine by me but the low dose pills weren't in stock at the pharmacy so I have to wait until tomorrow, so I've been grateful for lavender oil to delicately dab on the inflamed skin around the wound...and exciting tennis...and fab weather...and pottering around at home with cooking and lightweight household and home improvement tasks, all enhanced by the underlying grateful thought there's no dialysis to go to tomorrow...
I give thanks the courier who brought my expected parcel had another one for me on his van as well. For realising the package I thought was being delivered across the road was actually waiting at another supermarket of the same name on a different edge of town from where I was earlier...and that there was a bus that stopped close by. I would have been even more grateful if the item had actually been dropped off by the courier before he pressed the button to say it had been, but after a long trek back to avoid a long wait for another bus I at least remembered to go to the Co-op to spend my vouchers. What a shame I forgot to get them out of my purse when I got there! Oh well, though most of it was along pavements and for no good purpose I mostly give thanks for having a good long walk today. My toes have a completely different view of things of course!
I give thanks for setting out early so I could have a paper bag lunch in this pretty little park at the top of town followed by a 75p choc ice from the friendliest corner shop up there. That was my away from it all staycation part of the day and very pleasant it was too. albeit all to brief! Unfortunately the GP admitted she didn't know much about toenail removal or kidney failure but agreed antibiotics were needed and suggested a low dose for now to see if that was enough to fix it, and if not to check with the renal team on Monday to see if the strength could be increased. This was fine by me but the low dose pills weren't in stock at the pharmacy so I have to wait until tomorrow, so I've been grateful for lavender oil to delicately dab on the inflamed skin around the wound...and exciting tennis...and fab weather...and pottering around at home with cooking and lightweight household and home improvement tasks, all enhanced by the underlying grateful thought there's no dialysis to go to tomorrow...
I give thanks the courier who brought my expected parcel had another one for me on his van as well. For realising the package I thought was being delivered across the road was actually waiting at another supermarket of the same name on a different edge of town from where I was earlier...and that there was a bus that stopped close by. I would have been even more grateful if the item had actually been dropped off by the courier before he pressed the button to say it had been, but after a long trek back to avoid a long wait for another bus I at least remembered to go to the Co-op to spend my vouchers. What a shame I forgot to get them out of my purse when I got there! Oh well, though most of it was along pavements and for no good purpose I mostly give thanks for having a good long walk today. My toes have a completely different view of things of course!
Wednesday, 3 July 2019
Soixante-quatre
Waiting for a late taxi to take me to hospital today I gave thanks for the pleasant sunshine, for working out why two women seemed to be doing a relay race past me carrying three ice cream cones in each hand one way and nothing on the way back - it turned out they were treating a party of small schoolchildren waiting on a wall in the park! I asked the universe to send me a nice man in a sports car but the universe had other plans and sent me a woman who couldn't work out where I lived so I had to scuttle down the road after her. When I got to the ward however I discovered the universe had been preparing a wonderful treat - as there were no patients needing isolation or special care I could have one of the side rooms and enjoy more privacy and peace and quiet, I could even hear the working TV which I tuned to Wimbledon channels of course. Goodness me how grateful I was, it was the best dialysis session ever, a bit like home treatment would have been except someone brought me tea and biscuits! My treatment started in good time so I could get the scheduled transport home instead of staying late, I managed to persuade someone to give me my prescribed drugs... and added to that there was that Friday feeling as for me the weekend starts here. Ideal!
I was sad last night when I heard John and Jo can't come down to stay after all, and struggled for a while to think of aspects of this for which I could give thanks. Then I remembered that being reminded not to have expectations, or be attached to outcomes is always a precious lesson. And to be grateful there are people I've known for so long who do still want to spend time with me - precious too, and extremely rare in my life...also, and this may sound strange, that the visit was cancelled due to John's poor health not mine. I wouldn't wish illness on anyone, least of all a friend, but if I'd not been well enough to have time off treatment or enjoy company I would have been very seriously sick indeed!
I give thanks I did a lot of stuff before I left home as I woke up early and was sure there'd be all the delays there have been lately and wanted to come home to some comfort. I even sorted out a ready meal so I wouldn't have to cook but would feel someone had made my tea. Oxytocin on a stick today has been and I am grateful for the warm fuzzy feeling this brings,,,
I was sad last night when I heard John and Jo can't come down to stay after all, and struggled for a while to think of aspects of this for which I could give thanks. Then I remembered that being reminded not to have expectations, or be attached to outcomes is always a precious lesson. And to be grateful there are people I've known for so long who do still want to spend time with me - precious too, and extremely rare in my life...also, and this may sound strange, that the visit was cancelled due to John's poor health not mine. I wouldn't wish illness on anyone, least of all a friend, but if I'd not been well enough to have time off treatment or enjoy company I would have been very seriously sick indeed!
I give thanks I did a lot of stuff before I left home as I woke up early and was sure there'd be all the delays there have been lately and wanted to come home to some comfort. I even sorted out a ready meal so I wouldn't have to cook but would feel someone had made my tea. Oxytocin on a stick today has been and I am grateful for the warm fuzzy feeling this brings,,,
Tuesday, 2 July 2019
Soixante-trois
Mmm, what a lovely day not to have dialysis, I think I'll go to the hospital for something else instead...said no one ever! I wasn't even a tiny bit grateful to have to get up early to attend to surgical and personal needs before responding to my summons to see the chap who removed my tumorous parts and who up to three years ago was still regularly scanning my body for signs of any more. I had been expecting to hear from him two years ago but when I didn't well, delightful man though he is, I really didn't mind that I'd been forgotten about. If it doesn't seem to be broke let's not look for something that might be seems to be reasonable to me...but not to a new-to-me consultant who did a review of my notes a while ago and decreed we should meet again.
I did give thanks for the beautiful weather and view while waiting for the train. For the smelly man next to me reminding me to find the pomander bracelet Rachel gave me for Christmas last year, and for the whingeing women across the aisle for reminding me to put some Imee Ooi in my ears for tranquility. Rather a lot of this was needed one way and another, although, sure I'd have a while to wait for my appointment, I completely tuned out my name being called a few minutes after I arrived.
I give thanks it was a genuine joy to see him, despite serious background concerns over what he might say. But it seems scan wise it really is all over unless I'm worried by any symptoms or pain and so we could have a nice chat instead, about the injury that laid him off, the problems with the mindset of many of his colleagues, mutual acquaintances...and the fact that he still cites me as an example of you never can tell! Leaving it that it had been good to meet up but for the best of reasons we'd be happy not to do so again was strange but true, and something to be very grateful for too.
I give thanks I didn't realise the bus stop by the supermarket on the way home was out of service, for if I had I'd have rethought stopping off on the way back to pick up something rather heavy from Argos. I was truly grateful for the town service picking me and it up from outside the store afterwards instead of having to walk back to where I alighted. Oh and for successfully sidestepping pushchairs, wheelchairs, walking sticks, dogs on elastic, and people who just looked way too weighty to be allowed anywhere near my toes!
I did give thanks for the beautiful weather and view while waiting for the train. For the smelly man next to me reminding me to find the pomander bracelet Rachel gave me for Christmas last year, and for the whingeing women across the aisle for reminding me to put some Imee Ooi in my ears for tranquility. Rather a lot of this was needed one way and another, although, sure I'd have a while to wait for my appointment, I completely tuned out my name being called a few minutes after I arrived.
I give thanks it was a genuine joy to see him, despite serious background concerns over what he might say. But it seems scan wise it really is all over unless I'm worried by any symptoms or pain and so we could have a nice chat instead, about the injury that laid him off, the problems with the mindset of many of his colleagues, mutual acquaintances...and the fact that he still cites me as an example of you never can tell! Leaving it that it had been good to meet up but for the best of reasons we'd be happy not to do so again was strange but true, and something to be very grateful for too.
I give thanks I didn't realise the bus stop by the supermarket on the way home was out of service, for if I had I'd have rethought stopping off on the way back to pick up something rather heavy from Argos. I was truly grateful for the town service picking me and it up from outside the store afterwards instead of having to walk back to where I alighted. Oh and for successfully sidestepping pushchairs, wheelchairs, walking sticks, dogs on elastic, and people who just looked way too weighty to be allowed anywhere near my toes!
Monday, 1 July 2019
Soixante-deux
I'm very grateful when I'd made my lunch this morning I went on to make my tea. I'd a feeling it might be a long afternoon and I might appreciate having some ready to cook...and it was and I was indeed!
I give thanks after that I did a few other things I could maybe have left until tonight, partly because it's nice to come home to clean tidy flat and partly because now I've eaten my tea I really can't be bothered. Besides, there's tennis on TV! There's been tennis on TV for hours of course but though I managed to find some on the overhead set to watch earlier, a senior member of staff asked if they could 'borrow' the remote control to see which sets were working and neither he nor it was ever seen again, so when the match I was enjoying changed to a different channel I couldn't follow it. I was grateful I've iplayer on my tablet and a good internet signal but then the person taking me off the machine didn't shut off one of the valves properly so I got showered in blood and had more important things to attend to, trying to keep the splashes in one area. I give thanks my cardigan which was on my lap got the worst of it and the lady who had made it happen took it away promising to wash it for me. I'm grateful it was secondhand when I got it so it's no big deal if she doesn't succeed in getting it clean. Oh and that my consultant was working late so when I passed her office on the way to the loo I could thank her for her letter and update her that I'm still having trouble getting staff to do what she recommended at my last appointment.
I've been tired today after busy weekend days and disturbed nights, and I have to get up early tomorrow to see a different specialist so gave great thanks for twenty winks earlier. Forty would have been better but it was busy on the ward too, and rather noisy with it....
I give thanks after that I did a few other things I could maybe have left until tonight, partly because it's nice to come home to clean tidy flat and partly because now I've eaten my tea I really can't be bothered. Besides, there's tennis on TV! There's been tennis on TV for hours of course but though I managed to find some on the overhead set to watch earlier, a senior member of staff asked if they could 'borrow' the remote control to see which sets were working and neither he nor it was ever seen again, so when the match I was enjoying changed to a different channel I couldn't follow it. I was grateful I've iplayer on my tablet and a good internet signal but then the person taking me off the machine didn't shut off one of the valves properly so I got showered in blood and had more important things to attend to, trying to keep the splashes in one area. I give thanks my cardigan which was on my lap got the worst of it and the lady who had made it happen took it away promising to wash it for me. I'm grateful it was secondhand when I got it so it's no big deal if she doesn't succeed in getting it clean. Oh and that my consultant was working late so when I passed her office on the way to the loo I could thank her for her letter and update her that I'm still having trouble getting staff to do what she recommended at my last appointment.
I've been tired today after busy weekend days and disturbed nights, and I have to get up early tomorrow to see a different specialist so gave great thanks for twenty winks earlier. Forty would have been better but it was busy on the ward too, and rather noisy with it....
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