Fairy

Oops! I think I might have used up energy and enthusiasm yesterday I should have saved for today... Oh well, fair enough I guess! I give thanks for muddling through in my stupor.

For a line of smartly sparkling scooters parked outside this morning, one with a particularly impressive collection of mirrors.

For finding a sunny sandy spot to meet Mima for a short while, and for a short nap on my return. For some strawberries she bought for me yesterday for my afternoon tea.

I give thanks for the lost book suddenly turning up again on the shelf. I'm often away with the fairies - why shouldn't my possessions be?

Appropriate

Yay, it's Saturday! There was lots of gratitude for waking up and realising it was...

For having a bit of energy and, by taking things steadily, for getting a fair bit done. On the bucket list today was cleaning the floors with my new mop - which I was grateful seemed most pleasing as regards both use and results. Yes, I probably should get out more...see below!

I give thanks for being comfortably warm...but for also trying to have compassion for those who think it's too hot. I guess it must be as horrid in its own way as being too cold, but I'm also grateful there seem to have been less people around today, and if the temperature is the reason that's fine by me! I've realised that if I want to be outside but away from people, as I can't reach the countryside or remote cliff tops I'd prefer, residential streets are almost totally deserted on a sunny seaside Saturday so I can safely stretch my legs, plus  occasionally get to smell a garden rose. For making it all the way to the appropriate bank for my Oatly cartons which the bin men don't collect...and making a sort of ice cream with their whipped up custard, plus cream and vanilla. The consistency needs work but the flavour is great, and as it's kidney friendly I'm happy to try again and again! 

For a very enjoyable distant chat with Clive. For remodelling an old blouse while watching Reduce, Reuse and Recycle week on Sewing Bee. For feeling being tired this evening is appropriate and just.

Specialist

I give thanks for the new permission to meet up to six people in your garden as long as you stay two metres apart. Another example of MPs being a breed apart? I give thanks I don't have to fret about the inadequate size of my outdoor space or social circle, as the rule for the extremely vulnerable is still to stay indoors alone for the forseeable future. I guess they hope we will expire from our vulnerabilities so they don't have to work out a plan for us to return to any kind of life, as the more the healthier are allowed out and about to mingle, the more at risk we are if we join them. Ah well, I give thanks for my thrice weekly dialysis outings - well some of the time anyway! For the lushness of the greenery by the roadsides still, and the rippling crop tops blowing in the breeze. For reasonable taxi drivers...

For our afternoon cup of tea arriving...eventually...though I had to politely request mine be delivered before I left the unit! The lovely 'housekeeper' who usually wheels the trolley round has not been available this week and though we are all grateful a member of the nursing team will step into the role, they are less adept and speedy and often delayed by other tasks of course. Unfortunately it's not just a case of fancying refreshments, as their equivalent fluid content is extracted from your blood in advance so patients can feel quite literally dry if this doesn't get topped up.  

I give thanks though there's no scenic view from the side rooms there's sometimes other interesting stuff to look at - this afternoon it was the staff taking each other's blood for antibody testing. The most popular extractor was the ex practice nurse due to take me off the machine, which meant a chap I'm rather fond of for his intelligence and humour did it instead. During the course of an unusually lengthy chat ( I wouldn't stop bleeding) we discovered we'd both been under the care of the same specialist (urological cancer) nurse, and were both particularly enamoured of a certain stretch of nearby coast path. I give thanks for the thought of him walking his dog along it at the weekend. I'm sure he'll find it very therapeutic.

I give thanks it's the weekend! For having lots of quite appealing indoors things to do...plus a selection of books, Netflix and recorded TV to (I hope) help me forget about that footpath...

Peaceful

I always give thanks when I'm having a bad night if there's a day off in the morning...and this morning, rather late, I also gave thanks for how surprisingly bright and active I was. For a nice dream about going out for breakfast with friends at an aerodrome though I woke up hungry before the eating part... For the feeling I might make some significant progress in some of my endeavours, which proved to be premature as my liveliness was short lived but which was enjoyable while it lasted! 

I give thanks for being mostly OK with a flaked out afternoon, particularly while actually sleeping (rather than thinking that I should not!) as for a while I couldn't hear the rattle and thump of whatever the sea wall builders were up to throughout the day - demolishing part of the old one I think... Whatever it is it seems to have been unaffected by the tides and I was beginning to worry they'd go on all night so I give thanks for the peacefulness now they've stopped...even if only for their tea! 

Soulful

I give thanks a good day off can make the dialysis day that follows seem to shrink in length and arduousness. Today I was tired, so grateful for the nap and my joints were pleased about the amount of sitting still as well!

I give thanks for a room with intermittent internet access this afternoon...which would be annoying except compared to the many with none at all it seems rather luxurious. For thus finding an email from Wilko who have, at the second time of asking, agreed to replace the cushion pad they sent me for one without a muddy boot print on it. For also seeing an article about this documentary on tonight about a young man in care who finds his home in Northern Soul 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000jk57 

Maybe it will help delay watching the final episode of State of Happiness...I so want to find out what happens to the characters but hate the thought of the pleasure it has given me coming to an end.

I give thanks for Bless popping in to say hello and commiserate at our exile from Exeter...For making my best ever leftover salmon and broccoli quiche last night. To be honest it was the only one I've ever made and I feel there's room for improvement, but still looking forward to second helpings soon for my supper. For the peace and comfort of being home...and the beauty of the early evening light on the sea.

Controlled

I give thanks for hearing the hoots of owls last night. A rarity since I moved and such a treat as it is a sound that always makes me smile as I lie in the darkness. For Adam Kay's book making me laugh out loud with his dark observational humour. Maybe these helped me be in a better mood today though I suspect the pain relief pill I take sometimes which also alleviates the mental sort probably had something to do with it...

For feeling physically stronger and managing a bit of a walk. I'm trying to improve my fitness levels in case my cancer can be kept under control long enough to enjoy some kind of life when the pandemic is. Exercise is meant to be good for all the illnesses I have and vitamin D from the sunshine (plus the pleasure of being out in it!) boosts the immune system too so I'm hoping I'm helping to reach this goal! It also means a chance to explore the locality a little. As the main reason I moved here was that the place was so easy to get away from I've not really done that much before...

For remembering how privileged I am to live in a country where there is access to health care, and how lucky to still be around to receive it. I heard of the deaths of two people I knew slightly yesterday - neither coronavirus related at all. One was a long term dialysis patient, the other with cancer only diagnosed a few months ago, so sobering for me as well as sad...

I give thanks for a pretty good bit of pattern matching/top stitching on this pocket. Would get a nod from Patrick and Esme I'm sure!

Dimensional

I give thanks at the start of incarceration, after hearing about a book I fancied reading, I found a copy second hand on eBay and bought it. It was about probability maths and what we call coincidence...and coincidentally, just when I'd finished my bath time QI book and gone to the bookshelf to collect it, it disappeared into another dimension. What are the chances of that eh? I give thanks for picking up and enjoying This Is Going to Hurt instead.

I give thanks for a beautiful early summer's day and seeing people enjoying it in various ways from my windows at home and on the way to and from the unit. Neither my body nor my mind are comfortable at the moment and enjoyment for me seems to be currently out the window, so I give thanks for my commitment to trying to find some gratitude here and there. For all the families wandering around together, including the ones covered in feathers. For a neighbour in the flats here having visitors because it must be nice to feel that it doesn't matter. For having food to eat and pain killers to take and plenty of distractions from my discomforts close at hand.

Brave

I give thanks for tackling an attack of what's the point today. For a lot of us a lot of the time of there isn't one of course, unless someone makes one up, but coming up with ideas even for pleasure as a purpose can be a tad challenging at times, especially times like these...

I give thanks for making a little progress with a major sort out despite the fact that not being able to get the sorted out of the premises is rather frustrating. For managing to find a relatively quiet spot to read a book for a while in the sun wearing my best don't-mess-with-me face to keep passers by away, and a favourite Brave Soul dress to try to cheer myself a little. We can go wherever we like now as long as we go with integrity, I hear...

For these flowers at the cliff edge.
For good bread to toast and top with proper butter, especially at supper time. For savoury veggie mince made yesterday for my main meal today so no need to try to motivate myself to cook. For a vicariously visiting a ger on an island in a river in Iceland. New Lives in the Wild doesn't get any better than this...

Easy

I give thanks for so far sticking to Plan A and taking it easy like Sunday morning for pretty much all of today... with an option to continue tomorrow!

I've been reflecting on how easy it is to think other people have it easy. There's probably folk who think apart from those pesky health problems my life's quite a doddle - don't have to work, or even reclaim benefits for a while. No car to keep on the road (literally or metaphorically!), no shopping to fetch, no garden to maintain or close relationships to nurture. Sometimes in the current situation however I've thought maybe a partner, a vehicle (especially a camper van!) and a personal outside space might improve the quality of my days...plus I'd love to have a look around the newly re-opened corner store across the road. Ah that green grass gets you every time doesn't it?

I give thanks for a stiff breeze helping to keep me content to be at home and the visitors away, likewise for the work on the sea wall which means no access to that section of walkway or beach. For simple craft projects and cooking to break up a lot of rather even less demanding book reading and watching TV. For also seeing a silent movie enacted across the road where a man was ranting at his female companion for several minutes with a range of angry and aggressive gestures, while she mostly hung her head only lifting it once to say something with her hand on her heart before he stormed off. This made me sad and she looked crestfallen too so I was glad when she walked off in the other direction, and hoped she'd gone home to pack! I was grateful for a timely reminder there are worse situations than being alone, and how fortunate I am not to be spending lockdown with such a downer of a companion.

Covered

I was grateful it was more overcast this morning, with a chilly wind and lingering dampness in the air from sea mist during the night as this meant I was less drawn to summery clothing choices. The cancer treatment I'm having means I should always have a side room (every cloud!) but there's no guarantee which one and if I get the chilliest space, with two outside walls and windows, and the chilliest nurse who insists they be left open so staff who are in the main ward don't get too hot in their masks, it can get rather uncomfortable. There's a reason why we have a blood temperature, and when your blood is outside your body cooling in a cross draft on a breezy corner you sure do notice the change!

For remembering to load up with downloads on my tablet as many of the spaces have no wifi signal, and for having my mp3 player to hand in the taxis as if I fail to respond enthusiastically enough to whatever they wish to say drivers often turn the radio on or up and the speakers are usually in the back with me!

I give thanks for an episode of The Good Place making me laugh harder than I have laughed for longer than I can remember. I had to pause it so I could return to the important business of breathing! For being set up for treatment super quickly and being excited at the weekend starting sooner...though not having transport home booked correctly cancelled that advantage out. For Julie delivering some collected items I'd clicked and a good catch up with her cancelling out the effects of the most exasperating mansplainer who ever drove a cab. I wonder if his wife gives thanks when he's working?

For spotting a buzzard hovering over woodland on the way to the unit and something smaller but passed too fast to identify above a hedgerow on the way back. For the glories of the local countryside and the blessing of a two non-hospital days ahead.                   

Jewelled

I've been giving a lot of thanks for my sofa since my last post! Energy and enthusiasm being in rather short supply, I've been grateful for managing to do a few things I wanted to have done despite any obvious motivation or enjoyment in the process. For lolling about watching some gems from my personal TV library in between, and pressing pause for naps!

I give thanks for being warm enough without multiple layers of clothing and the heaters on. For finding a spot in the sun a good deal more than two metres away from other people - which is how I like it even when there's not a virus about! For a picnic lunch...when I got home! For rediscovering dark rye Ryvita. Handy to have in when you can't pop out for a loaf of bread. For the sparkling sea to feast my eyes on, for some bubbling bath water to soak away aches and soothe my troubled soul.

Missed

It's true - you really can make delicious meringues with just sugar and the juice from a can (or in this case a carton) of chickpeas! Rebel chef that I am, I didn't consult the recipes until after they were cooking so I was delighted they worked despite doing a few of the don'ts! Probably it helped that I've only cooked eggy meringues a handful of times in my lifetime... I give thanks for rediscovering ready cooked chickpeas too, having given up on those decades ago as the tinned ones seemed to taste mostly of tin and the ones in jars were mostly found in Spain.

I give thanks for being driven inland along the estuary at lunchtime from trailing sea mist into sun. Stunning views! For a passing van carrying a ladder and a canoe on its roof sparking a variety of mental images. For my imagination - never a dull moment...

For successfully stalking the Tesco site for a delivery slot the week after next week when my next Sainsbury one is due. I'm a fussy so and so and like products only available in one store or the other so, as there are several other products I also like only available in Waitrose, Lidl, Home Bargains and the Co op which I can't get delivered at all, every little helps as they say...

For sorting out a prescription muddle and in the process being offered a delivery from Boots without having to sign up for their medication ordering service. There's enough trouble getting what I want where and when I want it whilst contacting the GP surgery myself, without letting another party in on the act to add to the confusion.

For taking my travel mug with tea down to the almost deserted park by the stream when I got home from hospital, and sitting out of the way with my back against a tree. For remembering travels...

Saved

I give thanks for the sumptuous plum of the copper beech leaves. For realising I can still have fruit salad (one of my most favourite dishes) on a renal diet as long as I leave out forbidden fruit and resist devouring it by the bucket!

I give thanks for managing to stay awake all day despite a night when I didn't manage to stay asleep. For sitting in my comfy armchair gazing at the ever changing sea... and for not sitting there all of the time! For not beating myself up about not being very productive however, partly as I'm feeling rather delicate and partly as I really shouldn't anyway...but try not to beat myself up about it when I do. For the Norwegian drama series State of Happiness on BBC4. There are two episodes on Saturday nights but I try to save one for mid week to make the pleasure last a bit longer! For the enduring amusement of seeing sand delivered to the building work on the beach...

Routine

When I finally managed to haul myself out of sleep I was grateful for feeling surprisingly strong and sprightly. Yes, it would have been nicer if I'd felt that way yesterday instead but, you know, even a dialysis day is better when you don't feel tired and sore.
For one of the drivers who offers to take you the coast road and for the glorious views of rolling fields between the moor and the sea.

I give thanks I remembered to download some entertainment beforehand as there wasn't a whisper of a wifi signal where I was put...and for finding it entertaining! For the trolley coming round with a cuppa and biscuits and for this very welcome service being free.

I give thanks for the warmer weather...and that it's nearly time for tea!

Close

I give thanks my joints have not been this painful for quite a while - occasional is better than often where this amount of discomfort is concerned! For the encouraging progress on my knitting and sewing yesterday probably contributing to the situation. I'd rather it seemed as if there were a 'good' reason...

For the pretty speckled sky before sundown...and for trying once again to remember the word cirrocumulus! For the pearly blue of the sea. For a Lewis I'd not seen before on TV with another wonderful score from Barrington Pheloung.

For breakfast of my favourite Earl Grey tea with my favourite three fruit marmalade on my favourite toasted bread making the effort of getting out of bed to get it seem worthwhile. For said bread being soft and fresh and not too hard to cut despite delivery late in the day...

For managing to find a sunny sheltered spot big enough to meet Mima at an appropriate distance, appropriately distant from passers by and appropriately close to home for my poor old knees!

For experimental attempt at a chick pea roast turning out pretty well, and the accompanying experimental small batch of polenta chips being so delicious I had a second serving in the oven before I'd eaten the first! If they handed out plates of these when advising kidney patients they must limit potatoes, life ahead would not seem quite so bleak!

For also experimenting with some unbagged flour I thought might be self raising and producing a flavoursome brick. I'd been wanting to lie still on the sofa pretty much ever since I got out of bed, so I'm grateful I'm now too full to move from it for as far as I can see ahead.

For a finding a photo from another day, and not far away that reminds me of the Scilly Isles...

Middling

I give thanks for feeling more OK today after feeling considerably less last night. For a good sleep which helped I'm sure, and only waking up once for my knees to continue to complain about Thursday!

For my package deliveries arriving on the early side and my Tesco priority 'slot' (which is an eight hour window) narrowing down to almost bed time so I've had a nicely uninterrupted middle section to my day off to gently occupy myself with various tasks, projects and periods of inactivity. For days off, of which Saturday is the most special as there's another one  still to come..

For the vast variety of food most of us have available these days, and the ways we have to store it so we can keep stocked up. For reading that people who live in very cold places use fridges to keep supplies warmer! For another excellent documentary on Netflix, and at last getting round to last week's mid week guided meditation...especially for the parts when both I and my laptop stayed awake!

Glowing

I give thanks for still retaining some of yesterday's holiday like glow to see me through the start of 'work' today though treatment eventually washed it away. For a pleasing wallow in warm water and random information courtesy of my QI book last night. I stopped when I got to the bit about walking being good for depression, having beaten mine for a while with that amble along a beaten track. For making it to decent in time for clapping. There are few faces at the windows now so I feel it's important to offer a show of hands...but not my naked torso which would mean the only other participants I could clearly see - meanderers in the park and a railway man in personally protective orange casually walking away at the end of his shift - would have needed immediate medical attention! For having many opportunities throughout my week to thank a range of key workers in person. Oh and that reminds me to be grateful for the entryphone - what an aid to social distancing that is especially now we don't have to sign for deliveries.

I give thanks both Jan and I gave Bob's live DJ stream 'rave' reviews. We're not the demographic he is aiming for I'm sure but if a new (old) audience is enjoying it too he's clearly rather good. I give thanks though the crazy golf across the road is still closed they have opened for takeaway drinks and ice cream so the owner's child has the place to himself to play in. Looks like a lot of fun!

For an OK day in the office with some nice people to deal with...even one who is usually hard work was in good humour today. For sections of sea wall now visible from my living room window and not looking too bad - though to my mind better when not catching the evening sun! For abandoning plans for some creativity now I'm home beyond creating a nest on the sofa, eating leftover curry and watching TV.

Reborn

Forty one years ago (and quite a few miles away!) the grass was thick with dandelion flowers. I planned to pick some for wine making on my way back from an ante natal appointment, but the ante turned out to be shorter than expected and by twelve minutes past ten in the evening I had a baby! I give thanks for my son, and I give great thanks he grew up to be someone on the same wavelength as me as during the years since I've been born I've come to understand this is quite a rare occurrence!

I don't know if other mothers feel the same on their children's birthdays but it always seems as to me that I should celebrate or be treated (non medically) in some way and, though I had no plans, for unexpectedly finding a great deal of delight. I give thanks for a long laze late in bed and then rustling up a batch of pancakes for brunch and a curry for tea all before midday. Realising I was moving at unusual speed I wondered about leaving the chores and heading outdoors, so I checked with my back and my knees and was grateful they agreed they'd support my choices on a 'play now, pay later' basis. This was especially good timing as an appointment for another scan had just arrived to remind me times may be in short supply.

I give thanks for looking at a map and leaving it behind and following my nose along a series of footpaths up above the town. There was hardly anyone else around and everyone who was was carefully avoiding each other which I found particularly welcome as I kept making involuntary gasps and whimpers of pleasure. It wasn't just the sweeping views of rolling hills and sea, the meadow and hedgerow flowers, the warm sunshine and fresh air...it was the exquisite contentment of walking in the countryside by myself for a while. I've been grateful for some fine hiking companions in the past but had completely forgotten what a special joy can be found trudging along alone outdoors particularly somewhere new. Many years and dreary years have passed since I had that feeling and I am so grateful for discovering it again, and it bringing to mind some wonderful walks I've taken in younger fitter days. I also give thanks if, despite my care, I've picked up something (else) fatal I've made another memory to treasure in the process and, tired on the sofa now, for all kinds of happy chemicals coursing through my system. I give thanks for that ready made supper,,,the trick now is to get into the bath while I'm still capable of getting out again!

Pink

I give thanks for looking out of my window at just the right time to see the rose tinted sea last night. For seeing it white topped grey this morning and then blue this afternoon when the taxi driver chose to come back via the coast road. For bathing my eyes in many shades of green along the both journeys.

For finding out pink grasshoppers exist!
https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/stunning-rare-pink-grasshopper-discovered-4127325?fbclid=IwAR2s4pdvxjf21gwJHvHYzUJhHz4N2xs8h3vaUxRHiEEJC6JlXVFXyeXfxv8

I give thanks for Julie picking up my meds for me and doing a small job for a tall person while I was safely out of the way. For leftovers to heat up for my supper and bath water running. It seems to have been a long and unnecessarily nippy day today!

Modest

I give thanks for a bright and breezy day. For trying to make the best of a not very bright and breezy mood. Like lots of others I was in the midst of making some modest improvements to my way of life when life as we knew it came to an end, and extended delays to progress, or total abandonment of hope for continuation seem extravagantly harsh when time and possible changes were limited anyway. For reminding myself it's not personal, nor was the universe in any way contractually obliged to make any of the wishes I had come true!

I give thanks for scrubbing the sinks - cleaning can be so therapeutic! Likewise for working on some creative projects. I honestly do not know how people manage any existence, let alone a restricted one, who do not write or cook or make music or homes or art or gardens or crafty things. Even though my inspirations far outstrip my capability to produce, the ideas and planning and pottering with materials give me what seems to me to be a purpose, though to anyone else it probably seems like pointless fiddling about. I give thanks one advantage of enforced solitude is that no one is on the spot to be put on the spot and force out appreciative noises! You do understand of I post pictures on here that's what you're supposed to do though don't you?

Wondrous

I give thanks for the the wondrous crashing waves this morning! It's certainly was a wonder I managed to get ready and out the door in time for treatment as every time I went near a front facing window I struggled to drag myself away from the enthralling display...

For traffic queued at the road work lights just past the bridge across the estuary so my driver decided to use the coast road instead. Woohoo! Such splendid views that way even though the trees are almost in full leaf now. For seeing the ships in dock, and patches of sunshine sparkling on the water in the bay.

For a strangely stress free day on the unit, in fact when a member of staff rang me up to ask where I was because they thought I was missing I had quite a chuckle. There's a chap who's a Mac and he started there the same time which causes some confusion...

I give thanks the weather folk got it right in forecasting much cooler weather. For one thing, forewarned, I've made a pot of warming stew...and for another, given our illustrious leader's dotty directives regarding travel, chillier temperatures might give our relatively unscathed region a few days' respite before the hoards start turning up to infect us.

Champion

I give thanks for Gwyneth Paltrow! If she hadn't raved about Ceridwen's Cauldron from Lush some years ago this luxurious product would have been 'improved' (ruined) or discontinued by now I'm sure. It's unobtainable at the moment as all but their soaps are considered non-essential but I'm grateful I'm poorer than its champion and make mine last for several baths. This also means sometimes I forget I have some left. I was very grateful to rediscover a chunk of cocoa butter sumptuousness today and have a soothing soak.

I give thanks for hearing some small bird song this morning. One thing I miss from where I lived before is the glorious dawn chorus that came from the surrounding gardens and trees. The quiet of lockdown makes the few chirps and twitters there are nearby audible in between the strident gulls, the scolding corvids and various water fowl calls and I give thanks for that.

I give thanks for finding ways to pass the day without using my left hand a lot. It has been very painful even when doing nothing so, as tomorrow afternoon it will be the only hand I can use, I've been giving it plenty of rest. This means no knives and forks or knitting needles and avoiding my tablet or phone and books...so I was very grateful for my sewing machine and some simple stitching tasks that didn't require too much steering or grip.

I give though, like many others I'm sure, there are places I would love to go and people I would love to see, I also love just being at home with me!

Weedy

I've been feeling rather weary and dreary today so, though I've enjoyed some virtual communication with friends, I've also been grateful for some solitude to just be with my emotions and not have to fake for the sake of others. For remembering we all have a lot to deal with just now both practically and psychologically in our own individual ways...and trying to think compassionately about the people whose ways I would prefer to be different.

I give thanks for the sauntering gang of almost grown up swans making it slowly but safely down the road past my window to the sea yesterday evening... thank goodness it's a one way street! For settling down intending to watch half of the rather long 22nd July before bed and finding it too gripping to stop.

I give thanks for hazy sunshine adding a slow paced feel to the day. For the continuing peacefulness compared to the usual hubbub of a popular day trip town. For the hair where my bald patches were now grown long enough to curl instead of just poking straight up...and for some more sown seeds sprouting on the window sill. What fun to garden without digging, weeding or slugs!

Shiny

I give thanks for the stunning moon this last couple of nights, outshining the railway work spotlights. For the sun breaking through the clouds some time during the day here so I could enjoy a bit of warm fresh air in the almost deserted town when I got home. For the day not being as trying as I'd feared. Sure takes it out of me though, mentally as much as physically.

I give thanks for the lush greenness everywhere. For finishing my new jigsaw and getting the laundry done.

For the gradual feeling of feeling better after the nasty attack of side effects, and for it being the weekend so whether I feel well or not I can do it peacefully on my own!

Delivered

Oof! I give thanks for beginning to feel a little better by evening after another rough tough day. I was certainly grateful for not having to go to go to any hospital for any treatment, and delighted when I began to show an interest performing a few non essential actions an hour or so ago.

For all the restorative rest I've managed to fit in around grocery deliveries from Tani, Sainsbury's and Mima - which were very welcome but rather exhausting too. For now having an extensive range of favoured foods in the cupboards, fridge and freezer which is ideal when you don't feel like eating much and need to be tempted easily. Particularly popular are the ones that need no preparation homemade cake (thanks Mima!) and some lush Kalamata olives and probably the best cottage cheese ever.

I give thanks for the combination of extreme fatigue and evilly painful knees meaning little regret at not being out in the bright sunshiney weather. For it warming my home to keep the leccy bill down anyway...and growing the mini plants on my window sill. I give thanks for snipping the first tasty sprigs to add to my supper today. It's been many years since I've eaten anything I have grown and I am inordinately pleased and proud!

Merciful

I give thanks for being where I feel I should have been for a lot longer than I have! For my sofa and snuggly quilt, a mug of Earl Grey and a slice of buttered granary toast. For those precious Paracetamol capsules being back in stock on the supermarket shelves, and for the supermarkets having more delivery slots so I can have them available here.

The downsides of having immunotherapy yesterday started with getting having to get up and get going ready for dialysis this morning, which seemed like a cruel and unjust punishment being so sore and out of sorts. I gave thanks for waking up early enough to take the processes very slowly...and for somehow, with much moaning and groaning, making it through a very uncomfortable afternoon. For repeatedly thinking it's Friday, as surely three treatments a week is enough, and forgetting there's another one to come can only be a mercy! For five much appreciated minutes soaking up some pain and stress soothing sunshine before the taxi came. For leftovers for tea, for the bath water heating up...

Easterly

So a very pleasant side effect of an extra hospital visit today was I got an extra 'How good to be home!' feeling afterwards. I was particularly grateful to arrive at that point of the turning tide when incoming waves on an easterly wind crash into ones bouncing back from the sea wall - it's always mesmerising! For the blessing of being able to watch safe and snug indoors. For thinking to order some cards from my favourite local artist the other day and this image from a similar day being among them...

I give thanks for the different journey, destination, people and procedures - though a cab driver I knew was a bonus! For being able to wear my normal clothes instead of dialysis friendly ones which made it feel almost like an 'outing'. For the cannula going in easily on the second attempt and the nice nurse who dealt with me. For thinking to take a book as my right hand can cope much better than my left when left to its own devices and, despite the welcome relative brevity of the treatment, there is still some time to while away.

For the pretty sky at sundown yesterday, dappled clouds in graduated pink, and for having that daal I made on Sunday ready to be heated for my tea.

Covered

I give thanks the masks we renal patients wear during travel, treatment (and the waiting in between) not only offer some two way resistance to bugs, but also conceal any grimacing, gritting or grinding of teeth that may ensue during the process! For them also muffling snores and stopping unseemly displays of food and fillings during the naps we tend to have...

I give thanks, though lying back with my eyes closed, I hadn't managed to settle in to one of those when the machine started repeatedly sounding its extremely intrusive alarm. And I'm grateful it wasn't anything life threatening setting it off as the poor staff were having a very trying afternoon and took what seemed like ages to respond.

I give thanks for some busyness since I've been home. For finally putting up the Buddha hanging I bought not long after I moved in but kept hidden away from the decorating messiness...and then had to decide where I'd like it to be and how to make it stay there. I give thanks it's up at last despite several hiccups and trips up and down the ladder on the way...and for keeping reminding myself not to be too attached to the idea of attaching it to the wall!

Content

So yesterday I was giving thanks for all that I'd done...and today I've been grateful for all I haven't! For taking it easy like Sunday morning well into the afternoon, and for now as the evening is progressing for considering various tasks I might still undertake and thinking Nah, I can't be bothered! For appreciating what a blessing it is to be able to go peaceably with the flow - at least some of the time anyway!

I give thanks for realising The State of Happiness on BBC4 wasn't a documentary (though it would probably have been interesting if so!) but a new drama series set in mostly in Norway in 1969. Oh the clothes and buildings and cars and music! Storyline seems quite good too 😀 For the delicious pie I ate whole watching it. The pastry was bought ready made but the filling was all my own unusually successful work!

I give thanks for making Tuesday's tea. It's a curry and they're always better for keeping, plus it will be an extra hospital day this time to avoid trying to do a two treatment Friday while I'm in the wrong part of the county. They're hard enough to sort out when I'm simply in different parts of the same site so I'm looking forward to avoiding that side of the stress and hassle anyway.

I give thanks for living here every day but it dawned on me recently how extra grateful I am not to be in lockdown where I lived before. And even more so that I'm not in the temporary accommodation I had in between!

Fabulous

Some days all my sicknesses seem to gang up on me...but once in a very occasional while they all give me a break at the same time! I give thanks today was such a day and it's been fab! For waking up early but feeling rested, relaxed and well. For knitting and sewing and painting and varnishing and working on a design. For doing some laundry and making some food and some phone calls. For vacuuming, lounging in the bath reading a book, tinkering with few jig saw pieces and playing a pointless game on my phone....and for still having time and energy for a brisk(ish) walk up a nearby steep lane with some rather luxurious homes and vegetation. I'd never been up that before so for a short while even my yearning for discovery and adventure were satisfied! Times like these for me are not only rare, but also impossible to forecast and plan for, so I give thanks for also feeling I really have made the most of a sudden extra special blessing.

Checked

I give thanks for the people who have checked up on me over the last few days - my much missed home help, my almost as much missed decorator, the renal dietician and consultant. I was relieved the last two are pleased with my blood results despite the sharp intake of breath and lecture from the little Hitler in a blue uniform who delivered them to me a couple of weeks ago! I was even more delighted the consultant confirmed she had no plans to keep me in exile once it's considered safe for me to return. Hard situations are so much easier to bear if you believe they won't last too long...

I give thanks for the Council also calling to see why I'd turned a food parcel away if I was vulnerable and shielding. I really didn't want to seem ungrateful so it was good to explain the dietary reasons why the assistance they were offering wasn't personally nutritionally helpful.

Meanwhile I give thanks online supermarket shopping is getting a little easier, and for remembering to start checking out a grocery delivery slot for after the next one that's scheduled for next week. I'm still not used to the amount of stuff I need now I'm not top up shopping in between! Tesco didn't have one for the right day/time when I looked this morning and it was exasperating when some good ones became available while I was having treatment and couldn't book...so I was extremely grateful there was still a suitable one left when I got home and I've been able to fill a basket and check out!