Quenched

I give thanks for the rain... the dry earth needed it didn't it? Personally I could have done with a bit more warning however! I give thanks I've not been outdoors much, and so far not in a hail storm...though I did have a treatment room with a view to admire it after it had rattled on the windows and told me to have a look. For otherwise being focused on the gripping and moving three part dramatisation I somehow missed last year about the lives of those dealing with the poisonings in Salisbury and Amesbury. I love it when they show you the real surviving people at the end of this kind of thing and they did. And for being alone to have a little weep... 

I give thanks for matron Rob making me a sneaky extra cup of tea as I dialysis a bit earlier than I estimated when booking my taxi to stage two. Just what I needed to fuel me for a damp wait when it was late.

For the magic cannula man being on duty at oncology...and for him not being required as I had a magic cannula woman instead. Really improves the quality of the experience if they manage just to slide one in first time! She also offered to make us all a cup of tea which I sometimes see evidence of, but have never actually experienced. I give thanks I was already quenched and could write this instead. 

Preparatory

I wasn't prepared for quite how sore and sleepy I was going to be today. Don't know if this should be attributed to a restless night, fibromyalgia, two and a half doses of Covid vaccination or any one of a number of other culprits but I'm grateful I didn't see it coming or I'd not have been at all keen! It's this weekend I expect to feel rough, having passed both the preparatory blood work 

and my own gauge of preparedness for another immunotherapy treatment. I give thanks for managing to make food for fridge and freezer in readiness between a lot of dossing about today. 

I give thanks for remembering yesterday when I felt so much better. Also for remembering yesterday when I felt so much better and, while fetching groceries in the drizzle before going to treatment, spotted a charity shop window where the mannequins were suddenly sporting macs over their spring attire! Top marks I think, don't you?

Talking of spring attire I give thanks for being delighted by various internet bargains added to virtual baskets over the weekend. One garment needs a small alteration before it can be worn but that's fine - I'll add it to the pile of items awaiting attention from needle and thread. I give thanks there's no rush as it's turned so chilly again...and for evidence this isn't just me being a wuss. There's been hardly a soul around today and those that have been have been very well clad!

I give thanks the chap who keeled over on his favourite park bench early eventually made it back upright again. I'd been keeping a worried eye on him for some time as I've personally known two over indulgers who suffered strokes and were assumed just to be 'sleeping it off'. It was some relief when he made it across the road to get a fresh can and didn't quite fall off his bike into the brook as he rode away, but not entirely. Poor chap, bet that's not what he wanted to be when he grew up. 

Cosmetic

I give thanks I live by the railway station as well as the bus stop as Stagecoach failed to deliver their timetabled service today and I could just go round the corner and get a train instead. For more trains running again now lockdown has been loosened, and got it being a nice smart one I caught! For feeling well enough to toddle about and for my phone with its railcard app and to use to call for a cab to meet me. 

For a different journey through the city passing some of its rather grand veranda fronted houses (and plainer prison!) all dripping with wisteria. 

For accidently catching part of some programmes about the history of cosmetics, which I wouldn't have thought were my cup of tea at all as not interested in make-up per se, but finding the historical detail of recipes, adverts plus the mores and mindsets that led to its changing face (see what I did there?) fascinating. Did you know during the Victorian era when women were supposed to be untouched by tint, men coloured their mustaches with something called mascaro? Ooh I love learning something new! I also learned I somehow missed a great dramatisation of the behind the scenes goings on after the Salisbury poisoning...but that it's still on iplayer which is how I know it's great!

I give thanks for a good day on the unit and a lot of laughs on the way home. For remembering I'd forgotten I had vegetables cooking while I wrote this, before something nasty happened to the pan. For bathwater heating up on a chilly murky evening. 

Quirky

I give thanks for an unusually grand day out of the office. For another long medicated sleep and a leisurely start before the doctor came to give me my third Covid jab. The surgery had phoned me yesterday to say there'd been a problem with vaccination number two and, on advice from the renal team, thought it better I had another shot. I give thanks they gave me the choice of another home visit despite establishing for their records I'm not actually totally housebound - it gave me a chance to find out more about what had gone wrong, and to see that charming chap again! Apparently as he took his gloves off going down the stairs he realised there was liquid on them which should have been in my arm. And felt so bad about it he brought some rather lovely flowers to apologise. Grateful? An attractive man brings me flowers? Did me as much good as that jab that did I reckon! 

I give thanks for then taking a train for the short journey I usually use the bus for, as I was visiting Julie which I've not done yet at her (now not very) new house (well, mostly garden obviously) and that's close to the station. I'd forgotten how scenic that little stretch of line is! Julie's home decor was too of course, (I was looking for the loo, honest guv!) and so good to see all the projects she's described. I give thanks the showers passed us by... 

I give thanks for managing to make a tasty Quorn pie despite a problem with my cooker requiring some ingenuity. For the quirky play Orpheus in the Record Shop. Loved the beatboxing too! For finding an ancient blood request form while clearing out a drawer. That will come in handy if the online request goes missing again... 

Rationed

I give thanks for an OK day both in the office and out after taking one of my magic pills prescribed for pain that also tend to help with sleep. I ration them as I figure they wouldn't work as well if I took them all the time and I wouldn't have that rested feeling to be so grateful for. Sleeping soundly without medication would be even better of course but my body doesn't seem to be into that just now. Insomnia is common in renal patients and we usually have a little top up nap during treatment so I gave thanks for managing to mine in the last half hour after lots of unavoidable noisiness and interruptions.

I give thanks for blossom, even when it turns to snow. For the spotting the difference in the trees along the roadside since Friday's journey - actually I swear they were different from this morning too. For the miracle of brown buds turning green and opening into leaves. 

I give thanks for managing not to eat all my risotto yesterday so there were leftovers to eat for tea while watching a journey along the Spey River. For the possibility of ice cream for dessert. That's normally rationed too but I have the oat based sort. 

Stiff

I give thanks I could tell it was still cool in the stiff breeze today by the lack of trippers' skin on show. I didn't have a problem with this as a lot of stiffness about the joints and achiness in between meant I wasn't up to going far. I give thanks for getting out of bed and into some clothes which took a while to do. For starting putting away the wintriest ones and inspecting my mostly ancient lighter weight togs to see if they a) still fitted and b) were fit for my increasingly ancient and unfit bod to be seen in. For thus authorising some internet shopping haha! 

I give thanks for completing a couple of minor amendments and mending jobs on garments too...and feeling inordinately proud of myself. My mind continues to consider these trivial tasks but failing eyesight and dexterity means they're actually quite a challenge these days. 

I give thanks making a lush leek and smoked haddock risotto in my new cheapo casserole. Perfect piece of kit and perfect comfort food to start a snoozy afternoon on the sofa. For settling down to watch a second season of something on Netflix and realising I can remember I can remember very little of the first...so I now have both to enjoy! It's set in Galicia so I give thanks for the memories... 

Gone

Some days I never get going, and I give thanks for reminding myself when this is the case that given my various illnesses and hindrances I get a remarkable amount of going done! Today it looked like one of those days, and I give thanks for just going with the very slow flow...and that at last it speeded up! 

I give thanks for a plan to get out of the wind, which by then by the coast almost freeze dried you on the spot...and also to get away from the holiday making crowds in town by heading to the countryside just off the main road and handy bus route. For the warmth of the sunshine. For spring greens and flower colours, including banks of primroses and violets that you'll just have to imagine as they were on a narrow winding lane too busy to risk getting a pic... plus bluebells in a pretty churchyard. For finding a seat in a field with a lovely view and hardly a soul nearby. This did this soul much benefit!

Repetitive

And it's Friday again..they keep on coming round don't they? And yes I'm mostly grateful that they do... I give thanks for a beautiful blowy evening, and getting home early enough and vigorous enough to go and look at the crashing waves come in before getting a few bits from the Co op. They didn't have a couple of things I wanted but I was very grateful they had their delicious Fair Trade chamomile tea bags back in stock. 

I give thanks for a better night's sleep so I felt much brighter this morning and was bustling about washed and dressed and ready to face the world when my buzzer went and it was that charming retired doctor again eager to vaccinate me at home ahead of my scheduled appointment tomorrow as he thought it might suit me better. I've no complaints about this at all...he can come and give me a booster in the autumn too if he chooses! 

I give thanks for Peter the taxi driver taking me a different route through the city as we'd made such good time on the journey and he knows how much I appreciate deviation from the repetitive to and fro. For a trouble free and rather restful dialysis session with one of the nurses I prefer tending to my needs. For a fascinating and moving documentary about an 83 year old undercover investigator in a Chilean old people's home. He was a complete star...dealing with technology, a truculent boss, his worried daughter and lonely, confused and love struck elderly ladies with aplomb. 

I give thanks for a quick and easy supper - though not quite the one I'd planned after misidentifying an item in the freezer! For Michelle cleaning the flat so well and for a weekend on the way.  For managing to finally complete this post despite autocorrect fighting me every step of the way... 

Inactive

I've been in yabba dabba don't mode today, so was grateful for the uninviting weather this morning, with some wild waves to watch from indoors plus a delivery to wait in for. And then after lunch and a snooze, for Julie to wait in for as she was coming to do a quick job for me that would have been a slow one if I'd done it myself. I give thanks the shop next door was closed so she could park outside it! For finding the motivation and motor skills afterwards to rearrange  pieces of the then disassembled under bed storage drawer plus various other items in the shed area of the spare room...although, to be honest, most of that space is in a state of shed at the moment to be honest with stuff awaiting departure to the recycling centre, charity shop and, of course, the kitchen. 

I give thanks I needed to rest my shoulder after this...so hey, might as well rest the rest of me too eh? Better that than burn something I'm supposed to be cooking, scatter ingredients on the kitchen floor or sew something just to have to unpick it again which are the kinds of things that have  happened when I've gone against my urge for inactivity today. I give thanks for online entertainment, and being able to tap on my phone screen with my right hand again. 

Balearic

I've given thanks several times over the last few days that I opted out of Friday's scheduled immunotherapy...I'm deeply grateful I'm starting to feel human again and that wouldn't have happened if I'd had the treatment for sure. For the pearly sea after the sun went down last night and the myriad of little fluffy clouds in the sky. For deciding the day had been a bit Ibiza - sunning myself on the beach and enjoying classic club tunes later on.

Not so exotic, but I give thanks for a successful time day in and out of the office today, appreciating the energy and appetite that have been lacking recently, having an informative discussion with one of the Sisters and catching up with a few neglected chores. For blagging a slightly early exit from the unit to be helpful to the staff who had too many patients needing to come off the machines at once (honest). Didn't get home any earlier as the traffic was so bad but we had a very jolly and mirthful journey anyway. 

I give thanks for my Wilko order arriving. I'm so delighted with my new bread bin I can't wait for my new kitchen to put it to use...nor even to tidy up the kitchen I've got to show it to best advantage! 

Roadworthy

I could have had two hour round trip for a five minute appointment today, but because it was lovely weather I decided to add another couple of hours road and rail trip to the journey to see some different scenery...and, as it turned out rather a lot of building sites and roadworks too! It was an early start for me and my various aches and pains were playing up something rotten so I give thanks they stopped me falling back to sleep on the first bus and missing the hospital stop. I give thanks for treating my eyes to some glorious countryside and estuary views plus close ups of opening leaves on the trees but I found the number of people travelling to and from and congregating in the place I aimed for just too much for my bleariness, so grabbed some lunch and headed back home soon after I arrived. I give thanks the delightful deli I remembered is still there, and for planning to go back and raid it again one day for picnic away from the crowds. 

There's been that chilly breeze everywhere I've been today apart from at the bus stop before I left. ..and on the beach here on my return. It was blowing when I got off the train but when I sat down by the base of the sea wall to finish my food before coming indoors I realised I was actually warm enough for the first time this year to take off my shoes and socks, roll up my trousers and strip down to my cami top. I give thanks the beach was deserted a) as it was so much more relaxing and b) as I'm not a pretty sight! 

I give thanks for a long deep sleep before the beach bar added live music to their offerings - a middle of the road female with guitar and backing tracks on the pavement by my gate. I was grateful she was going down well with the drinkers and I had Fatboy Slim to drown her out. It's a good thing I won't get old(er), I'd cause havoc in a care home for sure! 

Oh and I give lots of thanks for the surgeon deciding not to operate on my fistula for now. 

Unflattering

Um... Let me see. I'm grateful I'm home heading towards the end of a day that has seemed more tiring and uncomfortable than really seems necessary to me. For making myself walk up the street before leaving for the hospital (which probably didn't help) to see if it really was as warm as one website said it might be...and for discovering anywhere in reach of the sea breeze wasn't so I didn't feel as if I was missing out having to be indoors. 

I give thanks for finding a soft scarf in a charity shop that will go perfectly with my sale rail top...when that makes its way from the matters to be attended to pile by the sewing machine. They'd only had 12s and I hoped it might look stylishly figure skimming but it doesn't it just looks much too big! 

I give thanks for extending the knowledge of a medical student interviewing patients on the ward. I was bidding for something on eBay at the time (I lost) but she won me over acting astonished by my age. I was in a dimly lit side room this time you understand! For also increasing the retraining time of an HCA returning to work by being a practice piece. That wasn't as much fun... 

I give thanks for food for my supper already celebrated cooked, just needing heating. For a play to finish watching from the Lights Up series. For my arm being so much less painful, though other parts are not. That there's no one here to hear me grumbling and groaning! 

Preferable

I've been slow and sleepy today after a busy week and a not particularly brilliant night, so I give thanks for getting the essentials done - cooking for tonight and tomorrow, taking rubbish and recycling out and clearing some space the bathroom for plumbing access. I give thanks for doorstep waste collection, and that my wicker chest of drawers in there has handy handles for dragging! And writing that reminded me to give thanks for acquiring what has been a very useful bit of kit via Gumtree several years ago, and with the help of John and Jo as it was listed near their home rather than mine!

I give thanks for managing a few non essential preferables like filling a ciabatta roll with roasted onion, apple and Cauldron sausages to take to a brookside bench for brunch before a) it got too busy and b) a handy chap came to change my bath and basin taps. For him being handy as his other half has booked to have her nails done nearby. I give thanks it takes all sorts! For a quick and efficiently executed job and how much easier the new ones are to use. They also match each other which is aesthetically pleasing, and one set were reduced in price so financially so as well. 

I give thanks for the red traffic light by my window catching a ride out of scooters so they all gathered in the one way street for my admiration. For some new joss sticks arriving and making everywhere smell divine even though they're not yet lit. 

Normal

You don't know what you've got til it's gone, do you? I give thanks after the longest joined up sleep for weeks I was able to turn over and lie on my sore arm side for a while without it hurting. This was absolutely - if somewhat absurdly - blissful.

I give thanks for an unusually effortless early start and heading to my old home town to see a displays of crochet flowers and in and around one of the churches, another rather moving community lockdown project. For Mima meeting me as I found the large welcoming committee a little daunting. I've been to a few events at this venue and they never let you walk in unaccosted! For fab warm weather and sharing a toasted sandwich halfway up the steps to nowhere where I've whiled away many a sunny hour over the years. 

I'm grateful I then got another bus to a far less appealing place to attend to a few matters there...and I also give thanks empty blister packs aren't heavy or bulky as it turned out I was taking saved ones to the wrong Superdrug. The right one was 'only five minutes walk away' according to the assistant but he was young and healthy and I didn't trust his estimation, nor my legs to carry me much further than back to the bus and home. It wasn't a wasted trip however - I checked out the Iceland vegan offerings in case I go there by car one day, saw which market stalls were trading again and went to Wilko to see if they had some of the stuff I'm thinking of buying on line but wanted to appraise in real life first (too cumbersome for the bus in case you're wondering). The journey itself was also an intrinsic planned delight with beautiful views not seen for so long, including the distant longed for moor. 

All in all a more or less normal spring Saturday round here really, but something to be very grateful for as it's been two years since I've had one! I give thanks for feeling pretty much normal healthwise too. I'm so grateful I chose to delay immunotherapy for a couple of weeks to let my body get up to speed again. 

Issued

I give thanks for sleeping pretty well, and waking up feeling pretty well too. For a busy bustly morning including popping out for milk and sparkling water and unexpectedly buying a tunic top from the sale rail at one of the rather fancy (by my standards) clothes shops in town too. It's definitely still woolly weather for the likes of me so I give thanks for optimism that lighter layers will be wearable before long. For buying the first Big Issue for a while too. 

I give thanks for arranging for a plumber to come and fit my bathroom taps by means of a local Facebook page, and that he suggested Sunday early afternoon which suits me perfectly. 

For my appetite returning though it means I've had the munchies all day. For having food I prepared earlier for my tea, and all the washing up, hoovering and cleaning done by my very helpful home help. 

Authorised

It feels rather as if I've done nothing today so I give thanks for reminding myself a) it doesn't matter if I don't and b) actually I did do quite a few things in between a slow start and an early finish... 

For sorting out a couple of kitchen cupboards prior to emptying at an as yet unspecified date. For checking with the clerk of works I'll be able to have a sink and a half - one of the few 'mod cons' I could make good use of. Oh and some new taps arriving to be fitted in the bathroom at some point as the old ones in situ are not very turn off and onable! 

I give thanks for what turned out to be a longer and brisker walk than intended due to the brisk chill in the breeze and the over population of the sunnier spots. For this leading to a pleasant nap to replace some still elusive night time sleep before dealing with another mix up in my medical care. This time my pre cancer treatment checks went unscheduled and, as I'd not felt right since the last infusion I'd been unable to schedule the enthusiasm for chasing them up either. I give thanks for the specialist nurse remembering I'd been forgotten and authorising holding fire for a couple of weeks for me to try to get my mojo back. 

I give thanks for a load of laundry drying in the sun trap spare room, for finishing (and thoroughly enjoying) a book recommended by a cousin and for managing not to inadvertently find out who won Masterchef before getting round to watching the delayed transmission of the final.

Automated

What a difference a night makes...if you sleep through a reasonable part of it! I give thanks for a good one by current standards. For feeling bright enough to appreciate the bright morning, and even potter up the street for while before my taxi came. I was on a mission to support local traders so was grateful I could find some joss sticks, a greetings card, a second hand book and a slice of cake. For a lovely atmosphere in town, a sense of eagerness and hope, plus some genuine warmth in the sunshine. Even Santa was catching some rays before fixing his balcony maybe! 

I give thanks for a good afternoon on the unit with a new, pleasant and very efficient nurse - I was out of there in record time! Also for timing nap, food and viewing options perfectly myself. So glad BBC iPlayer suggested I watch Traces. Usually automated suggestions, like autocorrect, tend to be way off the mark but I thoroughly enjoyed this short Val McDermid adaptation. For a quick pasta tea cooking and some leftover cake as I've a decent appetite this evening.

Popular

I give thanks for folk enjoying the first evening's outdoor hospitality a few doors down the street. I wasn't particularly enjoying them enjoying it, you understand, especially as the tables were one less door down the street than they used to be, but you'd have to be very hardhearted not to smile at guys pulling up in their work vehicles to stop for a long delayed after work pint! And they weren't open late so I gave thanks for that as well.

I give thanks for a beautiful blue sky blue sea morning. I was bleary eyed from another chunk of sleeplessness in the night, so again I was grateful others were able to go out and enjoy it...and in fact so many people seemed to be milling around I was grateful aches and pains and lack of energy kept me mostly on the sofa today. For a poignant partial climb of Everest in Sherpa, a trip to the  breathtaking beauties of the Highlands and Islands with Mr Fogle and time travel to 90s Newcastle in Crocodile Shoes. For the escapism of books and internet and TV when I'm hostage to ill health. It was good to remember I'd felt so bright and sprightly yesterday as well.

Dishy

Every cell in my body was giving thanks this morning for a decent amount of shut-eye! It's been such a rarity these last few weeks as though my strained muscles are improving day by day they still get very uncomfortable at night in bed. It was lovely to get to the sleep state where I could dream again. I had one of the ones where you think you're awake and try to turn on the bedside light. It was really hard to move and, still dreaming, thought to myself 'Oh, sleep paralysis!'. When I finally got to the switch the bulb was dim and flickering so I tried the other side and when that didn't work at all I went and tried other switches and sockets ending up on my knees with a torch fiddling with the fuse box. This time my dream consciousness commented 'You're such a bloke!'. Awake later in a shop I remembered I needed batteries for that torch...and then remembered I only owned it in the dream!

I give thanks for only going to shops that were open last week and therefore essential! For a Gregg's vegan sausage roll to supplement my packed lunch as being rested sure does help with being hungry...and a rather nice (five) pound casserole dish that took my eye in Poundland previously when I wasn't in a position to purchase. For a new rack arriving so I can stack plates vertically under the slope of the eave which was always the mistress plan for the kitchen but was hindered by not being able to find the right bit of kit. That was from Amazon - sorry I know it's not the best way to buy but sometimes it has to be done. It also had to be done that I bought some other items to get free delivery and one of them was a certain much loved album 'rumoured' to be forty-four years old which for some reason I've never actually owned! Cue a bit of granny dancing and a memo from my shoulder not to waggle my warms around!

Potato

Plan A was to go out again for a little wander today, make a bit of a staycation weekend before the real ones begin for some lucky folk, so I'm grateful though I felt too tired and feeble to do so, I also felt too tired to care! For making myself get up and do a few chores in hopes the momentum would build...and when it didn't, for plenty of vegetating on the couch. For all the pairs and groups of people I saw from my window who seemed to be enjoying being out in each other's company. 

I give thanks for making an experimental only slightly nutty roast, with brown lentils, barley flakes and veg which I've meant to try for some time. For it going down a treat with homemade coleslaw from the deli yesterday along with triple cooked potatoes, which are not chips just spuds boiled in changes of water to help remove the potassium. My appetite is still a bit erratic so going back for seconds made me grateful too! 

I give thanks for finally getting round to watching The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society which I've also been planning for some time. I was grateful I managed to visit the island a few years back, briefly between two beastly storms, so when the heroine's tender neared shore I expected to see something vaguely recognisable. I'm also grateful I've been to Clovelly or else I wouldn't have done!

Revised

I give thanks I try to be grateful for what I have, appreciating the apparently mundane, and also, where possible, for enhancing the possibility of gratitude by providing myself with pleasant surroundings, good things to eat and so on. More than that can be a challenge, especially in recent times, so I'm extra grateful when I manage to put in the extra effort required...especially when there's even a momentary reward of transcendent bliss to make it all worthwhile. Today it wasn't rising to the challenge I struggled with so much as rising in itself after another broken night, so I give thanks eventually I did and took myself off for a craved for change of scene somewhere quaint, quiet...and rather cold! For lessons revised about not choosing clothing based on what mad folk I see from my window have on, nor assuming I don't need music to insulate me from the unwelcome sounds from fellow passengers as 'it's only a short journey' - duh! 

I give thanks for a short journey by water - oh what joy! For not capsizing despite the ferry being light on passengers and having quite a wobble after the lifeboat whooshed past us out on a call. For a cut price Mary Berry cake in the Co op to make up for it being too chilly to queue for a treat (let alone eat it!) while I was out. And for falling asleep watching Celebrity Bake Off while sitting down to cancer with some afternoon tea. The SAR helicopter woke me up hovering nearby. I give thanks for the coastal emergency services. 

Passing

I give thanks the pain in my shoulder seems to be gradually improving...especially as the GP never rang me back. For figuring he probably has more important things to do. 

For ducklings in the incubator boxes again. Not only does it keep them snug but it keeps them out of seagulls tummies! 

I give thanks for passing my cognitive impairment test today. This is part of the clinical trial I've been on for the last two years, and indeed the final activity. I give thanks for the enjoyment of research nurse Sarah's company during this time and for our interesting conversations and shared sense of humour. The study was about preserving urine production in dialysis patients, and when she thanked me for my dedicated participation, I said no worries it was a piece of....well, it wasn't cake haha! 

I give thanks for a new nurse on the unit who seems very nice. Also for a highly mirthful ride home in the taxi discovering Peter shares some similar unpopular views about common behaviours and attitudes.

For a clean flat and a nice note from Michelle when I got home. Also a little parcel from Bob to not unwrap... For how the above helped counteract the sadness I felt at hearing of the death of an internet friend of mine. Such an inspiring chap - didn't know him long enough. 

Distracting

I give thanks for more sleep than wakefulness last night and, when it became impossible to find any comfortable position in bed, for getting up for a cuppa in the smallish hours for distraction, a complete change of position and Paracetamol. I give thanks for not disturbing anyone in the process and for the electric blanket to welcome me back to bed afterwards - my goodness it was nippy before dawn! For managing further snoozes and for managing to allow myself an extremely slow start to the day.

I give thanks for people watching, book reading and minor domestic chores seeming perfectly valid ways to pass the hours. And finally, around 4pm for deciding I was ready for some equally aimless fresh air, pottering around the park a little, sitting in the pleasant sunshine well wrapped up against the not so pleasant breeze, and buying a piece of cake that turned out to be not very pleasant either but somehow got eaten anyway! 

I give thanks my arm has been less painful today. I'm trying to be optimistic that this means it's on the mend, though I'm also being realistic and aware not using it much may be the reason, or that I've used it enough for it to hurt but it's just not started yet! 

Doctored

I was greatly grateful for some decent periods of sleep last night...in fact I guess I've been grateful all day as it does help me to feel generally healthier and happier. For Paracetamol for continuing to help with the painful places around my right shoulder, and for my left hand for trying to help with some of the actions and activities that make it worse again. For a GP calling be back after filling in an online form yesterday asking for any advice or assistance they can offer. They say they'll respond withing 48 hours so I was sure it would be tomorrow, and now it will have to be as I was about to be taken off the dialysis machine and needed to give that process my attention instead. 

I'm just coming to the end of a two year participation in a clinical trial and had to see the dietitian and consultant for various questions and tests today so I give thanks they are both very pleasant people to see! For the way they treat my input and opinions as valid. 

I give thanks for Imee Ooi on my headphones coming in on the bus for a recce of a couple of 'essential' shops before the city fills up with people going to non-essential ones. For my cheery taxi driver on the way home. For bath water to soothe sore bits and soul heating up, plus pan of leftover veg and barley stew ...and vegan meatballs too now I've remembered to put them in the oven!

Tense

I give thanks I think I've done pretty well today considering I hardly slept a wink due to the pain in my shoulder and associated tensed up areas. It was bearable sitting up, or getting up and walking around, but it seemed to be impossible to find a position in bed comfortable enough to sleep so I was quite grateful for a police helicopter circling overhead for a while inspiring me to give up and see if I could see what was going on. I thought I could when a woman behaving very strangely in the dark in the park was stopped and talked to by one of the patrols but they left her to carry on and went about their business so I guess it wasn't what the fuss was about.

Feeling rather sorry for myself this morning I was delighted by a short flurry of snow while I made a cup of tea. For trying to do what needed to be done without doing too much, and for dodging further wintry showers when I popped out for a few tasks in town. For all the anticipatory activity in the soon to open shops - even I'm beginning to think a bit of a mooch would be nice, and I'm very much looking forward to having a brand new greengrocer!

I give thanks for catching some little naps on the sofa here and there. For the varying colours and textures on the sea as the weather changed and for mostly sunshine streaming in to keep the heating bill down. 

Bonus

I give thanks for feeling better after treatment than I did before. It doesn't always happen that way though you might think that it should. For feeling better in general today and being busy before I left and since I got home, though I'm slowing down now and ready for tea (I prepared earlier) and TV (likewise!) For a better night's sleep last night, that tends to help doesn't it? 

I give thanks it's been another bright day down here for those still off work and school and out and about. For a side room with a window to admire the blue sky and leaf buds opening. For favourite staff attending to me - always a bonus - and for a fistula test they do looking better than it did a few weeks ago. For my shoulder being less painful despite chopping veg, washing up, putting clothes on my body and the airing rack plus other tasks it usually complains about. 

Sneaky

I give thanks Paracetamol do help with the pain in my shoulder and arm but then it does seem to sneak up on me later! Last night I kept waking up and rueing daytime activities that had seemed fairly innocent (and mostly unavoidable) at the time...so I was very grateful, apart from inevitable tiredness today, I felt relatively fit and could go for a bit of a walk to leave my upper limbs in peace. 

And talking of peace, I give thanks my peace lily has six blooms on the go - that's a record for me. They have the most delightful delicate fragrance too. And for remembering a quiet little sun trap park not too far away from an edge of town bus stop. It's surrounded by trees screening properties with large gardens or balconies so of no interest to those who live there and no loo, sea view or food outlet to appeal to the teeming crowds that seemed to be everywhere else this afternoon. 

For the other kind of escape that comes from a good book filling up your mind while a warm bath soothes your body. For a selection of classic BGT moments to make me pleasantly emotional. The only bit of the show I enjoy is when an auditioning act is much better than expected so I loved seeing old favourites of those, also for a short parade of classic cars - Ford Mustangs I think - driving through the town. Perfect social distancing! 

Sartorial

My to do list for today said don't...and I'm grateful I was very successful at ticking that off for most of the day anyway! I particularly appreciated the early sun disappearing behind clouds so I felt quite justified not only taking my morning cuppa back to bed, but turning over and going back to sleep when I'd finished it!

I give thanks for getting a few essential chores done in between a great deal of idling about. For clean laundry on the rack as it turned out to be excellent indoor upstairs drying weather when the sunshine came back with the breeze. The brightness eventually tempted me further than the bins I needed to visit, but I was grateful it was still quite chilly so I could stay lockdown dressed down under my coat! By then there were less folk around and I could give thanks for empty seats as my energy is so low, and also for remembering I had a prescription ready to pick up - except I forgot that it was until I was out and didn't have a mask. I did thus get to see the yarn bomb again however, and admire how it had again expanded some more.

For seeing the park bench drinkers this evening and being grateful my favourite tipple is a cup of tea and I've a cosy sofa on which to imbibe. Might not have paid much attention tonight but one of them was wearing a white onesie and at first glance, without my specs, I thought it was a crime scene investigator. Then I put them on and realised though he had a hood he was actually wearing a white woolly hat with pink lined ears! 

Raw

I'm grateful for getting through what seemed like a rather arduous day. Particularly for starting making some Quorn mince and veg for my dinner before I left for the hospital as my packed lunch was not a success. I forgot the new falafel I bought were frozen before cooking, so my flatbread pocket was inedible due to rawness, and so were the small citrus segments due to sourness. Yuk! My appetite needs gently encouraging back into life not putting off entirely, and though I gave thanks for the bag of popcorn and Madeleine I'd also taken I was in dire need of something more nourishing when I got home. 

I give thanks for the bright blue sky and sunshine, and for being indoors all day so I didn't have to try to dodge the nippy breeze! For my cheerful taxi driver transporting me to and fro, and for remembering to buy him an Easter egg. For a morning patient and his daughter organising a free raffle of more chocolate treats for the staff...what a lovely thought! I give thanks I never got round to tracking down a solitary hot cross bun for myself, as my kitchen is over abundant with all kinds of food as it is, after feeling unwell just after a good stocking up from Sainsbury's. I give thanks for finishing up the jam and cream I came home with yesterday on a budget scone from the freezer instead. It's not created a lot of space for the queue of chilled food waiting to go in there, but every little helps as they say...at the other supermarket! 

Cheerful

Gosh I'm tired this evening but I'm very grateful it's been a much better day. For sleeping better and waking feeling much better too - even my sore upper arm. 

I give thanks I felt well enough to meet Mima as arranged previously. I'd promised her a posh sandwich from one of the fancier eateries in town but their opening hours as shown on Facebook turned out to be untrue so plan B was to put that idea on hold and instead she'd share the remains of a different birthday treat she received - a generous cream tea. I thought this would be ideal for my still very jaded appetite and I'm grateful I was right, some irresistible calories there! For the sun coming out and the breeze dying down so for the first time I could experience that much mentioned 'heatwave' too. 

For sitting on the Lawn in front of the decorated fence, bench and trees so we could watch people adding to the display and admiring it. I'm grateful Mima got to see the cygnets and I got to see a duckling. Also, as we were packing a persistent but adorable duck came to check for any handouts or crumbs and walked along with me for a while even though none were forthcoming. I love ducks do this made me very pleased :) 

I've always been drawn to the cheerful impact of 'community yarn art installations' and of course instigated a little one at the library from their knitting group a few years ago. This year's yarn bomb here seems a particularly poignant and heartwarming project though as much of it was created during the isolation of lockdown and shielding, yet the pieces have been brought together for everyone to enjoy now restrictions have eased. I'm so grateful I was able to participate and also go and appreciate the pieces for myself. So many clever and funny creations there! I took some pictures but too tired to check them out and add just now so you'll just have to take my word or go and see for yourself... 

I've mostly been giving thanks for my sofa since I returned home...but so far I've not fallen asleep so that's a pretty good sign of further recovery.