Spent

I give thanks for being back on the sofa (once again!) after a rather very weary, rather dreary twenty four hours. For spending a reasonable amount of those hours asleep, a delightful one reading in a bubbly fragrant bath, two or three watching TV and a couple more out with Julie and Spencer looking round some big second hand shops we'd not been to for a while and trying to find interesting food items in the erratically stocked supermarket shelves. For help collecting the breakfast bar stools for the breakfast bar I hope to have when I have a new kitchen...

I give thanks now my steroid dose has been increased my liver function is showing improvement again. Also (slightly) that I have to continue the regime for some time yet so I could come home with a spinach and ricotta pizza from Aldi and have some for my tea! I'm finding this extended course of treatment hard on many levels so the lowering of potassium in my blood allowing an increased intake by mouth is definitely something to be grateful for. For reading one of the many visitor enquiries to a local Facebook group and discovering the ice - cream shop parlour on the corner offers oat milk as an alternative for their hot drinks. Must find out if they'd rustle me up a cappuccino one of these days as even with my current more flexible diet I'd rather spend my dairy allowance on more interesting stuff than milk, such as various forms of cheese! 

Airborne

I give thanks for being back on the sofa - it seems to have been a while! Last night I was loath to leave it so, though it sounds all wrong, I give thanks the air ambulance came in to land in the park and I got to admire not only the pilot's consummate skill but a glorious golden sunset in the background. I was very grateful the frantic flocks of various birds taking flight avoided the rotor blades!

I give thanks for cooler cloudier weather for the Bank Holiday as, of course, it was a normal treatment day for me and I can be quite selfish like that! For unexpected ladder action just when I thought there'd be no workmen, and for unexpected chocolate cake on the tea round...just tiny portions but a very welcome treat. 

Tired and sore and moody today, all I've wanted to do is to read books, watch TV, play with my toys, snooze and soak in soothing how water...so I give thanks for managing to fit in a little of that so far, and for hoping some more will follow. For making a start on the pile of washing up I created making two dinners last night. For my impatience to see what (black) grout would look like on the mosaic I was working on at the weekend resulting in a reminder of what it looks like on pale grey carpet!

Jarring

I give thanks catching the steam train earlier, as I've rather run out of it myself today and I always find the sound a bit of a thrill...even more so if I move fast enough to see it pass. For planning a long lie in after a short night's sleep, and for being awake to be aware enough of what was going on and leap out of bed when a ladder top appeared outside my window around 8 am. For giving thanks for an hour or two of further exterior improvements despite some disappointment I couldn't get the restorative rest required. 

I give thanks for another fine day, and for feeling fine about doing very little at all, though it's always a bit of a shock to the system to move so swiftly from a 'good' day to one verging on 'bad'. Also for sticking to the plan to meet Mima at a spot where we figured refreshments would be served in a refreshingly scenic but underpopulated spot. For being right...and for making it up s short section of hill for a quick tour of her new flat and the well kept communal gardens before very gratefully accepting a lift home.

For finding a forgotten stash of Paracetamol. For culinary assistance from jars of pesto and Rendang paste to rustle up food for tonight and tomorrow respectively. For my hands free can opener for the butter beans for the curry. For my sofa and some undemanding Netflix offerings.

Bemused

I was grateful to see the men working on the gutters and fascias outside yesterday morning (especially as they didn't quite see me wandering around not quite as dressed as I might have been!), but gave thanks they weren't here until later today so I could enjoy a leisurely lie in interspersed with getting up for snacks, working on new mosaic ideas which are coming thick and fast right now, and the usual household chores. For the most amount of sleep I've had in a night for months producing much mellowness without any medical assistance...

The forecast suggested it would be a tad on the brisk side for a wuss like me, while the calendar, of course, led me to believe there would be wall to wall tourists right up to the building entrance gate, so I was quite delighted when, after a fragrant wallow in the bath and a delicious picky bits lunch at home (smoked hummus, stuffed vine leaves, chilli oat crackers, olives et al) it looked calm enough outside to go out for a stroll...and work on getting fitter ready for when I next get ill!

I give thanks for making it to the cove where mysteriously there was no queue and empty tables at the café (and no, they hadn't run out of milk - I checked!). It was also warm enough for me to want to take off my top and leggings...and as they were under my dress but over underwear rather than a cozzy that meant a trip back to the loos to change...and there was still no queue and somewhere to sit when I returned! I give thanks my guardian angel must have had a word with the gods as normal service soon resumed. For lush cake that didn't just taste of sugar (a rarity it seems these days), my first cappuccino for months (nom nom nom) and a convenient spot on the beach appearing when I was ready to move down there with a book and a happy, if slightly bemused, expression at unexpectedly finding myself doing the Bank Holiday thing!

I give thanks for changes of activity helping keep the aches, pains and cramps under reasonable control. For homemade food dug out of the freezer in time for tea, and for remembering to stop pottering and eat it so I can take those pesky pills.

Amiable

I give thanks it's the weekend - I'm ready for one even though mine will just be the standard two day variety, and it will probably be a bit manic round here with tourists. For my flat cleaned, washing up done, bed made with fresh laundry etc courtesy of the Michelle who is very helpful about the home! For new mosaic materials arrived for some projects planned and for well stocked food cupboards, freezer and fridge.

I give thanks for managing to organise dropping off Jo's keys again (plus a thank you cake) on the way to treatment, as well as collecting more meds delivered from the main hospital pharmacy to a Boots on our route. For my extremely accommodating taxi driver... 

I give thanks for a rather amiable day at the office, including a member of staff who had been shedding stress all around on Wednesday declaring she wouldn't today - and didn't, another coming to ask me about the botanical gardens project as I'd not wanted to discuss it beforehand in case I didn't make it and she had been away since at Beautiful Days, and for the ward clerk not being at lunch as she usually is when I arrive and being in a very jolly mood so I could sort out some odds and ends.

Corny

I give thanks for the calm before the sun - much easier to get up the top of town when it's cool and cloudy...and for the beautiful magnolia tree I passed on the way. 

For the friendliness of folk up there, it's a completely different atmosphere to the eager but beleaguered tourist trap down by the sea. For getting new keys cut, and raiding Costcutter for a couple of bits for the food bank collection point in the library nearby. In fact I raided several food shops, which is great as I won't need to do so again for days.

I give thanks for feeling more mellow today on account of more sleep helped by the calming painkillers I ration as they hit the spot and I'd hate them to stop doing so. For even the lower town and beach staying relatively mellow as well, despite a sunny afternoon - relaxed and relatively empty enough for me to pop out for another wander. For an unusual amount of energy... and for some mosaic materials I'm very keen to get my hands on not arriving so I used it for other tasks. For corn on the cob from the farm shop bargain table for afternoon tea...and a low loud Chinook swooping past as I ate it. 

Deserving

I wish I knew what I'd done to deserve today...so I know not to do it again! For nothing major going wrong, and all minor mishaps and delays either rectifiable or putuppable with... For reminding myself (sometimes through gritted teeth!) they were all very much first world problems. 

For plenty of time in the sunshine...waiting for late running buses. For a lousy night's sleep so that even though I had a machine that made a noise like an alarm was going off (but wasn't) all through treatment I did manage to put an Insight Timer yoga nidra on and snooze through some of the afternoon. For Jo and Keith bringing my emergency keys when - an hour late due other issues - I arrived outside without my own, that I had definitely left home with and put in one of those proverbial safe places. I can even remember which one! I give thanks that other items that disappeared earlier - bus pass and Walkman - eventually revealed themselves but  I've shaken everything upside down (almost including myself!) and my door keys have clearly left home...

For finding the delayed pill that rolled under the sofa, and for an almost instant dinner already planned. For my ancient TV box slowly creaking back into life and finding myself part way through a programme on staycations. Lovely to see some favourite scenic spots and helpful to hear the horrendous prices charged, plus   difficulties with staffing and cleanliness so I don't feel so bad I can't go. For a pleasant evening for the tourists here. They sound quite mellow for a change - I hope they're having fun! 

Shocking

I give thanks for nasty cramp waking me up demanding a walkabout twice in the night, as I got to see a very nice moon twice too! For sticking to Plan A today (sunny version) despite being very weary and bleary eyed because (shock horror) it was actually one of those rare days that are warm enough even for me. I was beginning to fear there might not be another this year... let alone another year for me. 

For accepting an increase in my steroid dose as their effect on my liver enzymes has stalled...and for also making it clear I don't intend to keep taking them for much longer if they don't start doing more good than harm. Enough already with the messing my body about! 

For fighting my way through the heat-crazed crowds (honestly you could literally not take a step forward on the pavements at times!) and finding a rather out of the way and secluded spot right at the top of the park to munch a yummy packed lunch and read a book about murderers' minds for an hour or so before lugging home a load of veg.

I give thanks for a short unplanned nap after that, and then when I dragged myself into the kitchen to start preparing tomorrow's tea...reminding myself Tesco was due and actually it wouldn't hurt to eat mostly ready made stuff two days in a row, though it still feels like a skive I should 'justify'. I give thanks for making a mental note to be less hard on myself, though how successful that will be we shall see. Other trips maybe off the agenda but I still take myself on guilt trips several times a day...  

For a very cheery driver bringing all items bar one. For seeing four fluffy grey cygnets bobbing on the brook with mum and dad. For a little progress on some bright pink linen trousers I'm making, my first (passable) attempt at grouting for a very long time...and beginning my first attempt at 'grown up' mosaic ie. cutting stained glass into pieces instead of using pre formed shapes. I give thanks this was much more fun than making curry, and lolling about on the sofa for an hour has been pretty damn fine as well! 

Cunning

I give thanks I'm not on holiday...well not round here anyway! Definitely no signs of any heatwaves yet...even the tourists outside the cafe look cold and fed up and I've got my woolly socks on. I give thanks there's a little brightness on the sky this evening however, and fairly encouraging reports for tomorrow so I have a plan to get out and soak up some rays in between holidaymakers and essential chores - including my weekly phone triage of course. 

I give thanks for a busy day before and (so far) after dialysis. For new mosaic materials to play with...and that extra access to the place I most often play with them. For thus having another plan for what to do if the day dawns cool and grey again. For cooking tonight's tea yesterday so that's all ready to heat up...and for thinking it would be a good idea to make a packed lunch while I'm waiting for the call which is due late morning so I can grab the goodies and go if the weather is fine...or just munch them on the sofa if not! 

Deceptive

Now the carnival is over I thought it might be quieter in town (if not in my head where the Seekers have just started singing!) but the fair is still there and been providing music most of the day, so I give thanks this probably adds to some people's fun. 

For some fun (and nice food) with Clive as well as some considerable progress with kitchen changes, although to the untrained eye it might appear there's been more demolition than construction so far. For removal of debris and extra cupboard parts so I can now sit at my craft table with more space and light and (if I can remember how!) get back to grouting mosaic pieces again. For ordering the wrong glue in error and having a go at using it...so that I know never to make that mistake again!

For the gripping (even if you know the story) Channel 4 series Deceit, which I've been watching 'with' Jan on our TVs many miles apart. For reviving some leftover curry from the freezer for later this evening, and making some stew for when I get home tomorrow so that I can now soak my sore bits in the bath before we watch the final episode tonight.

Roomy

I give thanks for the luxury of waking to the sound of rain when you're cosy and dry inside. For the luxury of getting wet in a leisurely morning bath instead. For the weather brightening up for the holiday makers...and for me to weave through the bustle to the Co op for bread and milk. 

Short on energy and enthusiasm for most of the day, I struggled to get into anything - even doing nothing at all. For trying to be creative...and when that didn't work for trying to meditate...and when that didn't work either for going back to the mosaic that wasn't turning out as I'd hoped, trying different tiles and techniques and it beginning to look much much better than I'd imagined in the first place. 

I give thanks for having to tidy my toys away however, partly as Clive is due tomorrow to do a job in the kitchen which should mean more room in the spare room (but room had to be made for him to get in there)... and partly as I was going out for takeaway tea with Mima from the restaurant just outside the castle grounds. I give thanks for delicious food, which we'd meant to eat outside...but also for the inside of her car when the heavens opened at just the wrong time! For a brief respite from the rain to stroll, sniff the fresh damp air and admire the beautiful view of the estuary, including deer munching their own tea in the parkland. Their wagging tails always cheer me up! 

Posted

I give thanks for being home and fed...and for the first time for the longest time actually making the food when I got in rather than eating a meal I prepared earlier, or heating up something from the freezer. This wasn't part of a particular plan, it was just that after yesterday I wanted to be creative in other ways than cooking with my spare time this morning. I give thanks for a satisfying fiddle with my mosaic bits instead, for being inspired to order some different tiles and bases to try our some new ideas and conformation emails to say they are on the way. 

I give thanks for pasta, fresh veg, Boursin and a bit of basil tofu to whip up a quick and tasty supper. For something to watch on TV while I enjoyed it as there are some very noisy people eating (and drinking) theirs outside the café! 

I give thanks although not officially returning to work until next week, Peter felt well enough (and willing!) to take me to hospital and back today...although he discovered a flat battery just before the first journey and I had to have a different driver yet again. I give thanks he was good company too. 

I give thanks for a second attempt at getting a post on a local Facebook page to see if someone knew where a mis-delivered card belonged. And for that soon efficiently sorted. 

Botanical

I give thanks for being stiff and sore and stuck on the sofa struggling to stay awake as, most unusually for recent times, I got this way doing something I really wanted to do and enjoyed...despite the range of challenges to be overcome. For making a minor contribution to a community project - attending a workshop creating clay pieces (flowers, leaves, birds, butterflies, bugs, frogs etc) that will cover a seating area in the beautiful botanical gardens twenty minutes or bus ride away from here. It's scheduled to be completed early next year, and I love the idea even if I'm not around to see it I'll have helped make something for others to enjoy... 

For remembering to take my Walkman for the journeys, which are very stressfully noisy to me now lockdown is a distant blissful memory and high season is in full swing. For braving meeting and interacting with strangers (especially with my manual clumsiness in the circumstances!) and the changeable morning weather and bus times meaning I was first there in the afternoon session and could slip away when it got too busy - and I got too tired to carry on. For the kindness and patience of the lovely ladies running things there, and the peacefulness compared to here!

For spotting a poppy blooming on the beach...and these rather unusual spotty petunias

For my legs carrying me where they needed to, and for empty seats when they couldn't including one on the ferry - always a delight! For the kind man in the refillery filling a little water bottle for me with plant based washing up liquid. For filling myself up with leek and smoked haddock risotto when I got home... 

Obscure

I give thanks for a good top up nap during treatment today. There were many interruptions but the steroids have messed up my sleep so much even ten minute lapses from consciousness are welcome, especially when I can have several in a row. For being in the room with a view of trees and sky, though the bottom half of the windows are now covered with an obscure coating so you can only view the sky...and as it was grey like the coating I wasn't missing much by snoozing. For entertainment on my tablet and tasty food in my lunch box when I woke up.

For some staff whose company I particularly enjoy, and particularly for the ones who offer to attend to me when ones I don't appreciate so much are getting ready to do so instead. I wonder if they can read my mind? 

For coping with another different driver...and even more so for hearing my regular one will soon be back in the driving seat!

Perambulatory

I'm grateful the town has been busy, it's what the traders need. For folk seeming to be having fun on their hols, staycations and day trips likewise. For trying to keep busy myself and make my way through a rather wimpy weepy day, with more pain than I'd prefer, especially the unkindest kind in the mind. 

For making my way, eventually, up to the library to collect my reserved book (a jolly offering from a forensic psychiatrist) and drop off the milk at the food bank collection point...where I was extremely surprised to see a bottle of wine! Guess it's an essential for some... 

For my grandstand view of the only carnival activity taking place outside the park this year - the pram race. This involves fancy dressed people pushing/running beside decorated wheeled contraptions while drinking beer at numerous check points along the way. Probably all for the best I only saw the start...but I give thanks it raised a bit of a chuckle and smile. 

Needy

I give thanks for being home. I left home earlier than I needed to to see if I could buy stuff I thought I needed in the city before going to hospital, but the items proved very elusive...and public transport, the streets and shops too crowded for my tastes. Oh well, I escaped the carnival PA for a while and, though Patisserie Valerie was closed due to Covid, Pret a Manger, despite being rather short staffed and slow was able to fill me up with tea and Danish pastry. And Lush was quiet so I could nearly choose some new perfume...but not quite because the hand sanitiser they spray on you was so strongly fragranced.

I give thanks for plenty of energy for all the futile walking about... For finding a carton of long life milk to take to the food bank collection point at the library when I go to collect a book - I could only manage to carry one in case you're wondering. For the opportunity to reformulate my concept of 'need'...

I give thanks for oatcakes to take with my meds when I got home, and a yummy pre-made home made curry for my tea. For a very healthy appetite at the moment. For my taxi driver being well enough to be home from hospital, though not well enough to drive a taxi yet. For the TV and my munching to drown out the very shouty commentary to the It's a Knockout tournaments..

Comfortable

I give thanks we have agapanthus in the park here. Such a beautiful flower, and always reminds me of the soul soothing Isles of Scilly too. I give thanks I have been able to go there in the past... 

For walking round the outside of said pleasant (if not so soul soothing) park in the early evening when the town was quieter, partly to test my knees after walking about a bit yesterday, and partly to test my new debit card at the cash machine. I was grateful both were working fine! 

For feeling fairly healthy again - certainly better than last weekend anyway - and being able to get on with both domestic tasks and creative projects in between my hands not working so fine! Still not feeling jolly but being able to be busy is better than not when you're a bit low in spirits I find... Also for no workmen outside my windows so I could potter about uninhibitedly improperly dressed for a good chunk of the morning - so much more comfortable for body and mind. And talking of comfortable...for realising just now, as aches started springing up everywhere, that I've not needed any pain killers yet today. That's the first time for a very long while! 

Babbling

I give thanks for trying to outrun my miserable mood this morning. This rarely works unless you can go a good deal further and faster than was possible today, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try, especially as there was a man painting the wall outside and unexpectedly appearing outside my windows in a disconcerting way. I am extremely grateful for having maintenance done, and without all the stress and grief we had at the old place but it's not very relaxing nevertheless. 

For the recycled sculpture trail, and a pilot boat guiding a coaster in through the hoards of pleasure craft around the bay and beach even though neither gladdened my heart the way they sometimes do. For spotting a menu sporting monkfish curry (a particular favourite of mine) but it was a tapas bar that didn't do takeaway and eating a solitary portion (in both senses) while popular types swigged gin with chums would be unlikely to be in the slightest bit jolly, so I had to be grateful for a memory of eating it before with a friend at the end of a gloriously scenic railway line when such wonders were possible . 

For the sun coming out this afternoon and finding an empty seat to soothe my bodily aches and pains. For sight of a kite dancing in the wind. For the babble of the brook up above where the tourists rarely toddle, and few locals now the park is half dug up...

I give thanks for Sainsbury's bringing the groceries I needed...if not all the ones I wanted. You can't always get what you want, especially in 2021!

Unfair

Thank goodness I had more get up and go today, as from the moment I got up it was all go dealing with a multiple changes of other people's plans. For sorting out alternative transport and chasing missing meds as best I could and for having just enough time and energy to go and buy some fresh bits before leaving earlier than usual with a different driver to collect them. For thus discovering a fair setting up in the park for the start of Covid abridged Carnival Week. Not that it's any use to me...the only ride that appeals is the dodgems and an unaccompanied adult on the dodgems would be...well... dodgy...but it's good to know I'm advance the town centre will be extra busy.

I give thanks it will probably be fun for kids and couples and families, and (as things that are noisy and fun are just noisy if you're not joining in!) for headphones, earplugs etc for me. 

Meanwhile I give thanks for being home and it being quiet except for those workmen scraping away. For the second beautiful evening in a row for those that are out and about. For trying my best to respond to the kind of small talk encountered throughout the day. I'll never enjoy or excel at it but I am aware it's unfair to expect others to be like me, I'm the abnormal one after all, and they need more than verbal nods...or verbal shakes of the head! 

Extreme

I've been extremely grateful for the opportunity to take (most of) it lying down today, as my weariness and achiness has been off the scale. For being able to abandon pretty much all I had planned, and feeling way too feeble to care. 

For the fog in the morning creeping down from higher ground which always stirs memories of when there's higher altitudes hidden above, mountains out of sight behind the low cloud. For the murkiness and drizzle reminding me yesterday I was looking over holiday park hedges with some envy at the concept of families on holiday, but circumstances mean they might not always be happy campers even with their cars, caravans and tents. For the valiant British determination to don macs and eat ice cream eventually winning through, and the sunshine eventually shining.

For making it to the kitchen a few times, once down the stairs to collect my post but principally just to the sofa... 

Dire

I give thanks it's not been that awful a day but I'd have preferred less of the dire warnings and dark mutterings that go with a lot of what I have tested/interpreted at the moment. For the fact if the workmen attacking the various repairs outside are doing this kind of thing I can't actually hear them when they do! For some hot food on the way on a rather chilly day, a hot water bottle and a hot bath too.

For a very late bus into the city making up time rather well earlier as, outside of the holiday zone the traffic has been very light...well ,apart from a steam traction engine we encountered on route. What a splendid sight! For soothing Imee Ooi in my ears, and the beautiful countryside all around. For a member of staff I don't find hard work, even when I'm in the kind of mood when so many situations and people seem a struggle. For discovering how much we'd both enjoyed One Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Managed

I give thanks for finding out those chaps working outside my bedroom and kitchen window won't be doing so I'm the morning at all as they're doing it after their day jobs. That'll save all of us a potential fright! I'm very grateful our building manager has managed to organise something at last as what with lockdowns and let downs we've been needing the gutters etc sorted for far too long. For enjoying the pretty light after the sun came up without an audience or accompaniment of chatter and tools. 

I give thanks after last week's shenanigans my prescription for surgical supplies has finally arrived somewhere where they can supply them in a form that saves me a lot of clumsy and painful manual effort. Also that it's highly unlikely any reader has a clue quite what a relief this might be.

For hearing from some people I'd not heard from for a while. Sometimes someone taking the time to write a few words when you're not at your at your best can really make a difference.

For managing to make a difference to some of the multiple backlogs of minor domestic tasks, enjoying a lengthy afternoon snooze to make up for waking up far too much in the night...and for later managing to very slowly walk what seemed like very far. It wasn't, but a respectable distance nonetheless. I was very grateful for my sofa when I got home, and I'm also delighted my tea is already made. 

For those pesky liver enzymes coming down a little again after last week's stall. They're in the 70s now, which is still in the area of 'cause for concern' but a vast improvement on where they started out at the 'freak out and panic the patient level' of almost 1400! 

Pressured

I give thanks there were men at work outside on some long overdue building repairs and renovations when I got home this evening...and that they hadn't started using the pressure washer before I closed the windows! For being braced for feeling somewhat invaded for however long the job takes...and for them clocking off at seven tonight which seems quite reasonable. Wonder what time they start in the morning though...? 

For feeling physically stronger and with more energy today so I could get a few things done myself, including popping to the Co op after the taxi had dropped me off for some non-essential but tasty supplies...and finding an acceptable substitute when what I hoped to find wasn't there, as happens a lot these days. 

For starting watching season 2 of Killing Eve during treatment and enjoying it...but wondering whether it was a good idea during an increasingly exasperating session as murderous thoughts were not very far from my mind....For seeing Nomadland is about to be screened at our little local cinema. Thank goodness I've just started reading the book so won't be tempted to go, as I don't think I'd feel comfortable sitting indoors so close to so many people for so long. 

For doing that sensible cooking thing yesterday that's often recommended, and making a pot of Quorn mince and veg to be used in different ways. Tonight it's tomato flavoured with pasta... 

For trying not to fret about blood results and phone triage tomorrow 

Ground

I was grateful the gulls had a lie in this morning... They've been extra noisy extra early the last week or two and it meant I could enjoy my own rather more. For remembering to hope they weren't blighting someone else's daybreak instead, and working out that some of the situations which are contributing to my low mood at the moment are almost certainly more the way other people prefer them to be so therefore actually something to be grateful for on their behalf. 

I give thanks for less liver pain and other horrid symptoms today, though no reduction in stress about the tests and results to come. I'm grateful for new nighties and knickers, books and snacks in a hospital bag of course, but still not keen to use it... 

For a bit of cooking and (mysteriously) a whole lot more washing up. For a bright idea to use some biscuits that were too sweet, grinding them with my new blender attachment and using them instead of sugar in an oaty topping for blueberries. 

For beginning and enjoying Nomads...particularly as I'd been saving it for a day of special reading need. For its reminders of the many kinds of good fortune I have living right here right now, despite how dismal I feel about it at times. 

Lidded

I've not been good at grateful or appreciative today, being physically and mentally too low for that kind of thing to be foremost in my mind. I did remember to give thanks for a roof over my head when the rain was pouring down, and enjoyed the sight of a tiny puppy (Dachshund) happily investigating puddles, and a tiny child (breed unknown) in a bright mac happily clambering over the adventure golf obstacles. For Mima taking me to some useful places in her car and acquiring some useful things to take home including a scone in a box to butter for my tea...For summoning enough interest and humour to wonder if a sign outside a garden centre advertising 'otter' breakfasts would serve raw fish...

I give thanks good timing and poor weather meant easy parking and no traffic jams. For the sun breaking through to literally brighten the day of the tourists and trippers after I got home. For some attempts at being of benefit to others (adjusting a mosaic commission that isn't looking quite right) and myself (finding something to watch absorbing enough to distract from the negativity in my head)... and for giving up on both and simply closing my eyes. 

Mountainous

I give thanks for a better evening, night and start to the day which meant I could tackle the mountain of washing as my home help is away visiting her brother. I give thanks there are folk who have family who want to see them and they want to see... and for whom it's possible to do so. 

For mostly dodging the showers on the way to the train and for the extremely scenic journey. For the sight of all those suitcases and rucksacks. I give thanks for folk who can have proper job holidays now as well and, as I can't, for living in a beautiful part of the country...albeit one short on mountains which I'm beginning to desperately crave. For the renal consultant being happy for me to take another Wednesday off... when oncology have finished mending what they broke..which is going take a while yet the way things have been going. 

For managing a nap during treatment despite noisy machine alarms going off ( thankfully not mine!), staff shortages and several staff in my section being the kind that make mountains out of molehills so they spread their stress around. For much mirth with my cheery taxi driver on the way home, a home made Quorn pie with not home made pastry heating up for my tea, and for feeling fairly well.

Bad

If you live round here you might think the weather has been dreary today, but I'd been looking forward the breezy drizzly forecast, and was grateful the forecast was right. There's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate attitude, I always say, and there were so many things I hoped to get on with indoors, though after a bad night, feeling limp and sore and dreary myself, I gave thanks for neither actually doing much, nor beating myself up much about not doing.

For books to read and a bath to wallow in, a bed to lie on and stare into space. For keeping on top of the domestic chores, and for still having an appetite despite the pain. For going easy on the pain killers and hammering the distractions. For trying to speed up situations and people...whilst being aware and accepting you can try all you like with this, doesn't mean you will succeed! 

Responsible

I give thanks for the Tesco delivery driver last night thanking me for not having a heavy order. I do try to be thoughtful in this respect (not drinking beer or wine probably helps!) but it was also thoughtful of him to appreciate it my efforts - don't think that's ever happened before in something like fifteen years! For remembering to sort out my next order as suitable slots are still booked up at least three weeks ahead...

I give thanks for a beautiful morning - even warm enough for me! For managing to get out and enjoy it before the place got too crowded, pootling round the brook and some local shops and buying second breakfast to eat on a bench instead of going home to make some. For picking up a prescription ready at the local pharmacy, enquiring and discovering, as I suspected, the surgery had ignored the fine print on another one meant for a specialist supplier and sent them that one as well...which meant I had to cut short my pleasant basking in the sun and make a few phone calls to try and sort this out, as the prescription gone astray was the last permitted repeat order before the a 'responsible clinician' decided whether it would be OK for me to have more. As we're talking stoma pouches here I'm not quite sure why the system thinks the dosage might need adjusting or the contraindications checked...but there was no one available to check so I give thanks for ordering before the situation became urgent.

And while this was going on I had a message from Bob. who had received a message meant for me from the renal unit so I give thanks for sorting that out too, and checking they didn't have next of kin and patient contact number mixed up in their records as that could cause some probs.  And for still having time to go back out and sample a lemon meringue ice cream from the parlour on the corner before I left for the hospital, though sadly it was a very poor example.

I give thanks for having a bit of a nap during treatment, despite the best efforts of the staff to disturb me, and best of all for not feeling as shivery and ill afterwards as I have the last couple of weeks.

Tried

I give thanks for trying to find ways to give thanks even when times are trying. For trying again to find the items unavailable on Sunday - only to find they are currently unavailable in the immediate locality any day of the week. For reminding myself how we didn't realise how much choice we had until supplies dried up for various reasons over the last eighteen months, and what a useful lesson there is in that about not taking anything for granted. For trying on my return to find the post which had been in my pigeonhole when I left the building but that was absent too...and for dealing with its absence as best I could.

I give thanks for not being surprised to hear my liver is not doing so well again, the pain and other symptoms having been a bit of a clue. For the plan for now being to watch and wait and keep taking the same dose of tablets for another week...and for me to try not to fret of course. For trying some soothing craft work to help with and trying to be philosophical when my hands kept seizing up! Oh well, at least I made dinner already... 

I give thanks for the thought of people having better days, and holidays and good things to look forward to.

Metaphysical

I give thanks for feeling so much better this morning than I've done since I arrived home. This is often the way these days as competing bodily malfunctions and treatments take their toll... but as  I felt good earlier, and indeed most of the weekend, I give thanks for some confidence I'll get nack to that energised and enthusiastic state again. 

For managing to keep a civil tongue in my head... In fact trying to be especially courteous to those I find a tad exasperating. Probably trying to learn the metta song Rachel sent me helped, though an additional act of compassion might be not to actually record my voice for the virtual choir!

For food prepared for when I can get off the sofa and fetch some. For the renal consultant being pleased with me from the kidney point of view, and slightly more than twelve hours before I have to discuss liverish matters 

Brassy

I give thanks for daintily tinted clouds at both sunset and sunrise...and that I'm not a puzzled shepherd, though to be fair the weather has been both nice and nasty! For dramatic clouds, warm sunshine and not getting as wet as I might have done in between. 

For going out after dark last night to admire the recently fitted lights along the sea wall. For the sight of couples holding hands and the sound of a band playing live in a local pub...it's nice to know romance and revelry still exist! For going on a short bus ride in daylight today to visit an institution of a cafe soon to close...plus some shops I was sure would be open for stuff I needed but weren't. For a two part snack lunch with Mima - the first pleasantly savoury, the second excessively sweet as so many cakes and biscuits seem to be these days. We are gradually compiling a list of places not to go back to due to their sickly offerings so I give we live in an area where new ones pop up and old ones change hands regularly, so there's still plenty of baking to try. 

I give thanks for also mostly avoiding hearing the brass band concert in the park here. A tune or two is fine by me but hours at a time of any music you haven't personally chosen can be a tad irritating. For my hands allowing me a little more craft activity along with the necessary chores...and working on this tissue box cover for my living room in shades of copper and verdigris.