Must see

I gave thanks for this bouquet of pretty clouds yesterday evening. I'm grateful for all the beauty in the world - sometimes it can be hard to see but when it fills your window it helps!

I'm grateful for more exquisite birdsong very early before dawn...for the sight of a dog trying to drink from a running tap by the beach, a wooden toy ark on a top floor window sill and a tanker seeming to float above a misty sea. And for the sight of a very casually dressed vicar (apart from the telltale neckline!) at the bus stop with headphones and iplayer on. Do you think he was listening to hymns, or sermons?

I'm grateful I'm a bit of a Buddhist - all things in moderation as they say. And yes, both religious and rational folk think I'm quite delusional, but you need neither a belief in a God nor admiration of a Hadron Collider to discover the reality of attachment causing suffering, though the three are not mutually exclusive either, of course... It's easy to dismiss the logic when the things you're attached to are to hand - good health, and a glass of something to raise to it maybe, material comforts, loved one(s), youth, freedom, a role to play you feel has worth in some way - but when our toys fall out of the pram we're all too easily inclined to tantrum or tears. I give thanks the version of humanity I know as 'my self' is regularly reminded of this.

Dream on

I give thanks for Mothers' Day breakfast in bed...can't remember what year it was brought to me but I'm still grateful!  For bad dreams that were not real, and coming to terms with the good ones that weren't either... For the clock change so that a long lie in felt seemed even longer...

I give thanks for all my immediate neighbours being out at the same time so that I could go over a tricky passage with a few top Gs for choir practice tomorrow, which wouldn't have been fair if they'd been in given the thin walls and floors...and the number of dogs. And for watching the folk with big gardens at the back enjoying their washing lines and lawns, swings and slides, greenhouses and chicken runs. The children always look happy and safe and carefree there, and I give thanks for that too.

I'm grateful for making myself pancakes for brunch and feta, pepper and pesto pastries for my tea, for falling asleep in the Grand Prix and waking up to a very happy Lewis and a very accomplished Benedict...

It can be a bit of a sad day for some with memories of mothers and children, lost in various ways, and I'm grateful it's drawing to a close.

Up and away

I gave thanks for the birdsong early this morning...extra tuneful it seemed to be

I was grateful I could stay in bed a while, and rest some more

and come across these glorious photos...
http://www.velux.co.uk/private/get_inspired/loversoflight/view_entries

and this inspiring talk
http://www.ted.com/talks/chris_hadfield_what_i_learned_from_going_blind_in_space

and I was grateful for smartphones and the internet

and I was grateful I got up and did what had to be done to keep my little world physically turning, and some things essential for the greater good of my non-physical side

and heard someone talk about training racing drivers minds to work differently

and saw road cars parked together in a collection of shades of green

and thought 'wow' a lot!

Part of the solution

Today I give thanks for...

staying snug indoors in stormy weather, enjoying the changing colours and light and sound...

persevering with attempts at activity despite a quite astonishing level of insubordination from a wide range of inanimate objects from buttons to a Skybox...

abandoning perseverance when my body became insubordinate and becoming inanimate instead..

a lovely long meditate - horizontal, though more in the feeble position rather than savasana...

remembering to think well of people who sometimes don't behave as well as they might, and that it's up to me to wear appropriate mental clothing when they seem to be raining on my parade...

finding, and finishing those pesky buttons and making a 'leftover' sausage stew...

aiming for equanimity and sometimes managing good cheer...

Purple patch

I give thanks for the many and various medical professionals who've called me over the last couple of days about the many and various malfunctions of my body...and even more thanks for the ones who remember there's a brain attached to it as well!

I give thanks for sticking to plan A and finishing my dress today, as it was just the right weather for it - spring sunny but winter cold, with snow on nearby hill tops, I hear. It went right down to the wire time wise but as there was no plan B of what to wear I just had to keep right on going, and anyway it's always nice to wear something new for acupuncture as Rachel sews and knows...though she didn't know I'd bought some (purely decorative) buttons for the front and forgotten all about them in the rush to get the structure structured! Doing anything is painful at the moment, but then so is doing nothing at all, so I give thanks for having some things I want to do as well those I have to, because it's easier to ignore it then somehow.

I give thanks for finally visiting our new Waitrose, a good way to spend the lalas when there was such a biting wind outside. People have been saying it's very pricey and I could see a couple of products that I knew would be cheaper elsewhere but mostly I was looking for things that you just cannot get any kind of nearby elsewhere...and I'm very grateful to say I found them! Basil marinated tofu for instance, organic milk in pints, and at least half a dozen kinds of vegetable Indian ready meals...imagine, thoughtfully stroking a vegetarian chin and thinking 'What shall I have?' What joy! Nonetheless, I'm grateful I reminded myself the store isn't going anywhere for the foreseeable future and I didn't have to peruse every shelf and pick up everything that caught my eye. 

I give thanks for finding a cab driver when I wanted one and who was local, not reeking of smoke and didn't charge a silly price or refuse to come to the door because of pot holes... for the pink fluffy clouds in my head and outside of the window...and for this glorious tumble of aubretia, much easier to photograph than what I've got on!

Dances with sleeves

I'm grateful for a long sleep yesterday evening and, after finally waking enough to go to bed, for lying in very late today.

I'm grateful for a long T shirt sleeve being so tightly turned inside out in the wash that the tissue inside it had no room to disintegrate.

I'm grateful for good indoor drying weather this morning and a grey chilly afternoon so that I could shut the windows and turn the heater on...and not get too cold undressing several times to try on the dress I'm making. I'm grateful it's going OK, though slowly, and that I persevered and set the sleeves in acceptably, and know all the most complicated parts are done. ('Acceptably' by my standards anyway...I could also give thanks I'm not on the Sewing Bee!)

I'm grateful for the sky darkening to evening rather early so I could kid myself the cause for stopping was running out of light rather than steam...and soak myself in a steamy ache soothing bath instead.

Middle eight

I give great thanks for going to choir last night - for the company, the cake, the chance to laugh and sing and dredge up the remains of my musical knowledge, and for the thoughtful lifts from Jenny. I'm also grateful the choir has been asked to provide some celebratory entertainment at the Mayor's reception after the train line opens again at the end of next week...because it makes it all the more believable that it will!

I give thanks for being aware over the last couple of days that my aches and pains were on the way back, and that when they woke me up in the night for a full on welcome home party I was prepared with my new mattress so that the bits that weren't hurting were comfortable at least. I lay there giving thanks for all the things I did with my time of feeling a little better, and planning to do better with the time that I don't. I was grateful this morning that I had things I had to go out and do, so I didn't hang around feeling sorry for myself.

I was grateful for the sight of a little walled town garden all a-blue with grape hyacinths...and of a V&A doll's house jigsaw in a charity shop, which I liked so much I bought as an odd companion to my higgledy piggledy Colin Thompson one. Oh, and for finding out he has a website too http://www.colinthompson.com/index.html

I'm grateful for getting a good snack lunch when I was out so that I could use my hands for craft work on my return rather than chopping veg for my tea. Also for realising that working a few rows of each of my new seat covers in turn means that I can monitor yarn quantities better. As part of the idea is to use up leftovers I don't want to be hunting around for new ones to match what's running out so I'm saving some of those for the finishing inches and will create a textile middle eight to join them up.

Scrubbing rush

I give thanks for the bright start to the morning, watching clouds fill in the deep blue sky and the wind whip up white horses on the sea before the rain came down too hard to see much out of the windows at all, but made me feel extra cosy inside.

I give thanks for catching up with those matters of personal care it's easy to realise you've left too long like cutting one's nails, cleaning the sink and meditation. You might think that cleaning the sink isn't personal care but it's 'taking care of yourself' in my book, and if you can do it happily you're manifesting metta too which has got to be good in anyone's (even though they may choose not to open it!). Metta is not a prayer or a religious practice but a cultivation of a state of mind, and I would recommend it to each and all, whether they say prayers, or practise religion, or do neither and think their state of mind is just fine, thank you very much, it's everyone else (or maybe everything else) that's at fault.

I give thanks for tea in a mug, chocolates in a box and, on the box, a new series of Louis Theroux investigating that smorgasbord of human lifeform diversity that is the US of A. Oh, and that all the scrubbing earlier means craftwork would be too painful tonight so that I might go to choir instead.

Best bits

My brunch was cooked for me this morning plus the washing up done, and there were leftovers from the last couple of days for my tea so that's three things to be grateful for...and they've meant I've been able to potter about being creative with yarn and fabric this afternoon and evening instead of with food, nourishing a different part of me. I give thanks for having had such pleasure in another's company, and for enjoying my own again as well.

I'm grateful for knowing how easy it can be to run out of commitment to a double project when you're only half way through so that I'm doing a little of each seat cover in turn...and give thanks that the colours are looking so good in the kitchen where they're being made for. I'm grateful my hands have had a rest from these occupations over the last few days so they've been able to do more before becoming painful today.

I'm grateful for remembering to catch up and chuckle with the some of the Sport Relief highlights -celebrities folk acting out of character (or gamely allowing their characters to be lampooned) in order to inspire you to be charitable in turn is one of the better ideas TV has had in its time.

I give thanks for this week's daffs still being so pretty, I love watching the petals unfold...

Sealy creatures

I give thanks for grand day out with much reaching of beaches, facilitated by Beth's co-owned car and a desire to swim (hers not mine!). For a bobbing seal just off the shore of one small cove (no photo because, as I knew it would, it's come out looking like a small rock) and this fish/reptile/amphibian sea carved stone on a long shore of many pebbles...

For the weather's general reasonableness and stunning effects of sunshine and many shades of cloud and water. For finding a cafe where we could get a nut roast lunch...For finding I'd left my hat behind too late to go back to get it, but in time for memories to be fresh enough to work out where, and to call them and ask for it to be saved in a safe place for me. For the pleasure of spending time with someone you've not seen for many years and are very pleased to again...

Light exercise

I give thanks that the weather wasn't half as horrid today as reports had led us to believe it might be, that the tide was out in the afternoon, that the doctor's was shut yesterday for staff training so I couldn't do my business there, that my joints are still being fairly co-operative and that I thought I'd get a lift back up the hill - circumstances which led to a walk on the beach, of course!

The light was very clear so I'm grateful I took my binoculars, to look at the headlands and water craft... but it was the reflections in the wet sand that really caught my eye today...oh, and the hazelnut wafers at Eastcliff! I'm grateful for the sight of the light this evening too as storm clouds roll over, and the sea is turquoise with little white wave tops beneath a leaden grey sky...

Not saying I'm tired but...

Years ago I read something about not saying to people you're tired. The idea was that if it was part of an explanation or request it was OK but as an announcement on its own it was pointless and maybe even counterproductive for both parties. This did actually seem to make a lot of sense for me at the time but at the time tiredness wasn't a major feature in my life. Now it is, and I realise I announce the fact to myself quite a lot, along with updates on what's hurting and how much and so on...and yes it's still pointless and counterproductive! I'm grateful I've noticed this and can now set about trying to break the habit. It's really not necessary to have that sort of inner (or outer!) monologue going on: I'll still rest if I need to just as I scratch an itch without having to tell myself something's tickling. Whether there'll be any benefit other than the intrinsic one of doing something that seems right to me, I don't know, but having refused to use the same damning language regarding my cancer that the doctors did I do know there can be some curious coincidences in these matters, even if they're not causalities. And we do largely live out our own self definitions don't we? We're good at this thing...we don't like that...we can't understand the other etc etc.

One of the things I tell myself I'm good at is buying fabric off the internet even though you can't see it or feel it...and look at this beautiful linen mix I got for some new trousers when spring comes back! It was exactly the colour I was searching for for months even though it didn't seem it on the screen (and indeed doesn't look like it here!). And how prettily wrapped like a present with a snippet of lace trim thrown in for free...I give great thanks for that.

And for my new mattress arriving and being so ludicrously luxuriously comfy for such a reasonable price. I know it sounds stupid but I feel emotionally supported when I lie on a firm, gently supportive mattress...and yes, it's probably because I don't know what emotionally supported feels like but hey, does it matter if the illusion works for me? I lay down on it after the delivery men had gone and felt so relaxed I had to get up again before I fell asleep. It's airing now, ready to be made up later but I've checked and am very grateful the lower bedding fits as it's rather deeper than the old one.

Anyway...I'm also grateful for the moon rising like a big yellow cheese last night. A big yellow cheese so tasty someone had clearly cut themselves off a chunk as it's way past full now, but still very bright! For the smell of fresh cut grass today, and of the start of the rain when it lands on the road - love it!

Sea of tranquillity

Last night I gave thanks for the bright moon shining on the sea at an angle I've not seen before, lighting up not a silvery path but presumably shining on a patch of mist above the water and making a glowing cloud behind the twig tips.

Watching it restored my preferred level of tranquility after having to overhear some domestic disharmony next door. At least I think it was disharmony - some people actually like to shout and swear at each other don't they? We must always try not to judge others by ourselves! I give thanks that no matter what I have missed in terms of warm and loving relationships, in recent years I haven't had too many antagonistic, argumentative ones either. Oh, and from what I've seen on TV documentaries lately I give great thanks I don't live in America as well.

I give thanks for a Tesco delivery to stock up my cupboards, shelves, and drawers of the freezer. Unpacking the food at half past three, I realised I'd had nothing to eat all day til then but a hot cross bun, so I was grateful when within the hour my appetite had returned a little, lured by the thought of the taste and smell of a fresh cut crusty rye mix loaf. Bit like being in a supermarket really.

The other good thing about the delivery coming was that I'd promised myself when it had come I would leave all the things I really need to get on with, and even the ones I'd like to be doing, and just do nothing at all. And apart from cutting and buttering the bread and heating up soup that's approximately all I have done. Mmm...I give thanks for being still! And for finding these wonder-full images. I could happily have them on a slow moving loop and gaze at each one for hours...
http://twistedsifter.com/2014/03/2014-sony-world-photography-awards-winners/

The bad thing about being still, or slow moving, is that there are still things to do... I'm grateful for coming up with another self bribery scheme for a tad more activity and then a lot more not.!

Low gear

I give thanks for the record number of naps I had yesterday evening after deciding not to go out again...two during the time I'd have been singing and three between getting into bed and turning out the light!

Today I've been grateful both for staying awake, and resisting the temptation to lounge in the bath for hours with a book (no mean feat sometimes). Also for nonetheless not expecting too much of myself or setting too many tasks for completion in my head. As a result I've succeeded in a doing a couple short stints of craft work here and there, and also getting a bit of sorting and tidying done. Like almost everyone, I have a number of unsorted and untidy things and I'm a lot happier about it if they can be contained in designated areas, designated areas as small as can possibly be...

I've been giving thanks for staying indoors all day, and watching the weather changing - clouds passing over, breeze blowing up and quietening down...and for the showers which I'm sure the vegetation appreciates after all the sun of the last few days.  

I give thanks for a fascinating programme about a fascinating artefact there have been several theories about over the years  (hurry up if you want to watch it as it won't survive as long on iplayer as it has done in real life!)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01hlkcq 
I'd recorded it more in hope than expectation of entertainment but was riveted, not only by many calculations this clever machine could perform, but the clever machines and people since that helped work out what they were. I was particularly appreciative of the spirit of international co-operation involved.

I'm grateful for safety pins. Handy if you leave crochet undone for a while...so it doesn't come undone!

I can get satisfaction

Last night I gave thanks for just the right amount of wind to create a satisfying howl when I left the window open on the latch. And for it being warm enough to do so! It reminded me of the breeze on the beach yesterday, blowing my hair about in a most satisfying way...satisfying if you've ever suffered from alopecia anyhow. I give thanks that I have hair, and that I don't have a 'hairstyle' - I get the impression they can be tricky to maintain.

I give thanks for finding my socks stained red and sand in my shoes this morning...and for living by the sea like I did as a child again.

And for finishing my crochet cushion. It was a real prop your eyelids open with matchsticks job to get it done before going out today, but I was going near the offices of the charity I wanted to take it to. I'm grateful for the pleasure of creative play, for being able to turn it into something they can sell...and for further ideas it's inspired. Gratitude too for their gratitude for my donation of this and a hardback copy of a Mary Berry cookbook, ('pricematched' by Tesco when I ordered a paperback copy of her autobiography) which I thought - and the charity seemed to agree - might make a good raffle prize. 

I was brought up to believe I couldn't crochet, and maybe I can't do it properly but whatever it is I'm doing instead seems fine to me! I was grateful for the chance to discuss the effects of maternal dissatisfaction with other daughters who've been on the receiving end in the knitting (or crochet if you feel like it) group.

I give thanks for remembering to roast tired old veg when I had the cooker on last night - meaning I was half way to tasty soup today. And, if this attempt succeeds, I'm grateful too for uploading my blog post...the last couple of nights the blogger site has not been keen! I understand about not being keen, and have decided I'm really not keen enough to get up and go out again this evening for choir practice. I'm not sure my technique for lying on the sofa is as good as it could be and am grateful I can stay in and work on that instead...

Spring in the step

I give thanks for gorgeous light yesterday, pretty skies as the full moon rose and later shone though the dappled cloud...and for appreciation of the photos I posted.

Today has been brighter, though not me unfortunately. But though still very tired and 'under the weather', with said weather being so gloriously springlike and a time of less pain in my joints, I've been determined to overcome all other health difficulties and get a bit of fresh air and exercise whenever I can. So I'm grateful for my dedication, and to the sparse Sunday bus timetables for providing a brief tour of the river mouth - with a little help from the ferry! Also for conveniently placed benches and beaches to rest in my plods between disembarkation and climbing aboard.

Can't say I enjoyed it really, but I'm sure it did me good on several levels...well, for one thing I was too wrecked on return to get on with any chores and gave thanks that the place is quite clean and tidy anyway after preparing for John and Jo's visit. Oh, and I was grateful for a very good takeaway tea and cake deal for £2 (astonishingly reasonable for the other side of the bridge) and for the fun watching a standard poodle have run with the most graceful, mostly airborne gait.

Comforters

Last night I was in need of some quick comfort food so I gave thanks for the makings of a new favourite almost ready meal. Most people I know who cook for one boil potatoes for more than so they can use the extra for something else afterwards. I've discovered if you also cook extra veg such as leeks, carrots and courgettes and mix the chunks with sliced up cooked veggie sausage (such as Cauldron's) before pouring chopped tomatoes over and sticking in the oven...you have a lovely sausage stew! It tastes far better than it ought to given the simple ingredients or method, and would probably work with Quorn or piggy sausages too but I've not tried those.

Having slept for most of the rest of the evening, I was in two minds whether to have a bath before bed but I'm grateful I did, and gave thanks that what seemed to be rather overpriced Body Shop 'melt' went a long way, with bubbles that lasted for ages, a delicious fragrance and soft skin afterwards.

As for today, well if you're local you may have seen it on the news: I had my first visitors since Bob left after Christmas! They could only stay a couple of hours but, on the plus side, this meant I got four hugs in one day! As it's such a rare thing for me now to spend time with friends I actually try to forget how much I enjoy it, but I give great thanks to John and Jo for reminding me. And for the sea and sky for being so beautiful so we could go 'ooh' and 'aah' together for a while.

I thought I might feel a bit bereft after they left, so I'm grateful I soon fell fast asleep instead. I give thanks for eventually levering myself upright again...and realising I'd left the freezer door open before it became impossible to close it!

That'll hurt in the morning

I'm grateful for my daffodils, and that I remembered to put them in water during yesterday evening's stupor. I should buy myself flowers more often!

I'm grateful for finding this on the internet this morning when I needed some wise words about a personal situation that's left me smarting...
http://www.rickhanson.net/relationships/stay-right-when-youre-wronged

I'm also grateful the effects of yesterday's acupuncture kicked in overnight as I'd promised if they did I'd try that seated tai chi class I heard about way back last November. My, those people are fit - I was shamed by folk in wheelchairs and a lady of 83!

I was fit for nothing when it finished, but journeyed on to get some more new towels...only they'd sold out. Oh well, at least I got to see the man upside down in a bucket. Or two men maybe. Certainly when I came out of a shop he was wearing a completely different set of clothes, but whether this was because he'd changed them, or because he'd changed I don't know...

I'm not grateful I lost the little bag I keep my mp3 player in. I still have the device and the tunes, but they were replaceable anyway, whereas the embroidered velvet bag was not. It came from my market stall in Wales many years ago and had great sentimental value, so much so I've been crying about it. I'm grateful I remembered to do this quietly so as not to annoy the neighbours, and I'm grateful I don't have anyone to talk to when I'm upset because it would be hard for someone else to understand the things make me so sometimes.

If at first

I give thanks for my Devon cream curry last night. No, I've not been making a high fat version of paneer just a veg curry that certainly wasn't Thai, or red or green but pale beige. Tasted OK tho.

I give thanks for funny, poignant, gripping First Dates. The only dates I've had have been brown and sticky...and come from a tree! So it's good to see how the other half set about finding one.
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/reviews/grace-dent-on-tv-first-dates-channel-4-9141900.html

I give thanks for another new pair of glasses, with prisms again to stop me going cross eyed, but also photochromic to stop the sizzle and squint when the sun shines...and for the various vouchers and allowances for making them affordable.

I give thanks for sit down with a cup of tea on the seafront to give me strength for the next round of in town chores...for warm hazy sunshine to drink in, and drink it in. I give thanks to Rachel for still trying to mend me.

I give thanks for attempting to make and eat egg on toast when I got home before giving up and going back to bed. It's not a remedy often suggested for extreme fatigue but sometimes it's all you can do.

And if I manage to get this posted this time, instead of gobbled up by the ether, I'll be very grateful for that too!

Where there's feeling

I give thanks for rising to the challenges of the day...rising being the main one.

One of the difficulties the neurological problems with my hands and arms cause is that I don't realise how much I'm hurting them until it's too late. As it's hard even to lift a cup today maybe craftwork AND vigorously vacuuming before putting this new rug down wasn't such a good idea. But I'm very grateful for my new rug...I've wanted one like this for years!

I'm grateful that next door's dogs haven't been barking and howling all day, in fact it's been all afternoon rather than all morning like yesterday and a change is always good isn't it? I'm grateful I've got lots of recorded TV to watch to help dilute the sound I've not got the strength to escape...for another old Columbo this time celebrating seventies' food rather than seventies' technology. Oh, those piped rosettes!

Also for an episode of Come Dine with Me where someone got in a right strop after someone said 'where there's no sense there's no feeling'. He hadn't seemed an especially sensitive or feeling soul until then and it's an expression most of us have used or heard often enough, but as ever I gave thanks for the opportunity someone behaving badly on reality TV can provide to asses one's own imperfections.

Everyone is a human being, whether you like them or not, or agree with their religious or political views, actions, preferences or proclivities. I give thanks for my Human Writes experience for reminding me to separate the deed from the doer..and for these two articles to show that even official doers may be beginning to renounce these deeds.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-26450088
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-26542991

And finally I'm grateful for being a little livelier the last couple of hours. Late afternoon and early evening tend to be my best times...well as long as I've not done anything earlier in the day of course!

Almost ready

Much gratitude for making it to both the knitting group and choir yesterday! Even with the lifts from kindly Jennies this was a very exhausting process but I'm very grateful I didn't miss either one.

I'd been thinking that maybe having a ready meal in the gap between getting home from the first and preparing to go out for the second might help with the allocation of time and energy levels, but I'm not such a fan of ready meals all on their own with nothing home made to embellish or accompany them that I'd want one once a week...so I was very grateful to come up with a very quick and simple but recipe instead. You want to know what it was? Cook some washed spinach in the oven with feta and nutmeg, while you cook some wholemeal pasta on top. Toast or roast some pine nuts (I put mine in a frying pan on top of the still hot electric ring), combine and go mmm, that's tasty! Today I was even more grateful for the leftovers cold as a 'ready meal'...

Choir seemed to be very strenuous last night. I wasn't the only one creaking and groaning when we'd finished the session, and this morning I had to remind myself how worth it it had been. I was grateful for a very slow start to the day and that by late lunchtime I'd finally processed a basket of laundry as far as on the rack in front of my bedroom window where it catches the sun and breeze if there is some. And I was grateful that this happened at just the right moment as I could catch sight of a tanker passing through the channel out to sea too.

I'm grateful for a delivery driver working out to call my home phone to tell me he had a package for me....especially as I'd not requested he do this, nor given my number with the order. You could say 'spooky' or 'big brother's watching you'...or you could say 'thank goodness for that' as the depot is seriously inaccessible from here...

I'm grateful for another programme in the series about forensic detective work north of the border. It's a subject that has fascinated me since The Expert TV series started when I was ten...and of course the Scots pronounce 'murder' so much better than anyone else! Oh, and that I'm on the last but one round of this crochet. Not that I've not been enjoying it, but it's inspired me to do more and it's good that it's almost ready to turn into a cushion cover so that I can move on to the next project.

Not the same thing

Some things you can have the matter with you get better when the weather's warmer, don't they? But some do not. In fact they can seem a whole lot worse when the sun is shining and you'd like to be outside and can't be. And something that's almost as bad as that is when well meaning but ill informed people assume you must be feeling better and say so. I give thanks I've not the strength even to hurl verbal abuse when this happens...

I give thanks that even though I have no garden to relax in I can see more natural beauty from my flat that many folk who have. If sitting or lying down often all I can see is trees and sea and sky, and the odd bird passing by...no walls or roads or people!

I give thanks for this great idea to see more of the same as it changes...
http://twistedsifter.com/2014/03/mirrored-fence-changes-with-the-seasons-alyson-shotz/

And for the sea today not doing lace so much as beading or embroidery...wedding veil maybe?

I give thanks for someone I've not seen for many years asking if they can come and stay for a couple of days en route to somewhere else. I don't know if they will actually come, but it's nice even to be thought of as a possibility. And for two separate Jennies offering me two separate lifts! Just need to stir myself to get off the sofa and get ready for the second...

Look left

I'm grateful for my new big soft blue bath sheets to make me feel more pampered after my bath. They match my bathroom walls and that makes me feel pampered too...

And that I remembered to take a hot cross bun out of the freezer before I went to bed, ready for my breakfast.

I'm grateful the dream about going deaf after organising the parts for a choir wasn't real. In my dream I'd wondered if I still had earplugs in and checked and hadn't...but then when I checked again after I woke up, I had!

I'm grateful for feeling quite bright and alert and purposeful first thing before drifting off into my first of many naps and dozes...and that I didn't have much specific planned. I'm feeling a bit like this collection snapped on a storm damaged beach front yesterday...mildly entertaining and thought provoking but ultimately of no possible use!

I'm grateful for another hazy sunny day, having the windows open to let in the sounds of spring - birds and lawnmowers in the gardens, jet skis out in the bay - and for the pretty twinkling gold of the streetlights and house lights coming on in the blue of dusk. Oh, and remembering the seagull yesterday sliding down the sloping roof of the bus stop before taking off like a ski jumper!

Time out

I'm grateful for experiencing a flare down of joint pain the last few days, which combined with the mild dry evening made getting down the hill and back last night a lot easier. And for finding a chap in a wheelchair trying desperately to find a way in to the church which gave me a chance to appreciate my mobility and to even feel briefly useful by going up the steps and finding someone who knew where the ramp was and had a key to the right door.

I was grateful the sight of the choir looking so smart, and the sound of them singing so well convinced me I'd done the right thing by not joining in. And in the interval for remembering the socially inept have an important role to play in any gathering - helping those who're not appreciate themselves and each other better. Also for someone saying how nice it was to see my beaming smile from the stage. Note to self: smile more and say less. Well, either that or get a burly two way interpreter (Bridge fans read this because there's some very good news!)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-26158840

Though stiff and sore today (a flare down is not the same as pain free) I longed to be out in the hazy spring sunshine and, after some timetable juggling, was grateful to find a short pleasant journey not affected by that pesky broken track...and catch the bus both ways despite leaving both my phone and watch behind! I gave thanks for all the things to see from the window...dogs playing in the park, jet skis proving the season's turned, blossom and opening tree buds pressed up against the pane at one of the stops so I could take time to admire their miracle. I give thanks for the gorgeous greeny blue of the sea (not really like it looks on here!) and the headlands seeming to float on clouds in the misty light. Beautiful!

Sofa love

This morning I was grateful for a bit of get up and go...and got up and got on with some sorting out. Then, because I wanted to go out this evening, when I hit a fatigue wall at lunchtime I decided to spend the afternoon in extreme rest...no chores, no crafts, no internet, just a little light catch up TV and snoozing. At first it seemed I'd made a bad choice of programme, watching the Hoarder Next Door while my flat is mid-reorganise (and looks to me rather messy), but I was grateful for the reminder that I'm not actually unhealthily untidy or unhealthily attached to stuff...just unhealthily tired. And I promptly fell fast asleep to prove it!

I give thanks for these real life stories when people are loved anyway, despite their faults and foibles. (There's absolutely no reason why they shouldn't be of course, but when someone doesn't love someone else they tend to pick faults and foibles as a reason.) It is great to see the relief of family members and partners though when the hoarders are persuaded to love cupboards and skips!

I give thanks that I've finally woken myself up and am, very slowly, moving in an outwardly direction. It can be dreadfully hard to motivate yourself sometimes when there's only yourself around, but as I'm failing to provide my voice for the choir's performance I do think I should offer my presence in the audience and my entrance fee.

I give thanks for the lemon sky over the saxe blue sea this tonight. Not a combination I'd choose to put together myself but nature can do any palette she chooses with aplomb. I'm grateful the concert is not far away and only for a couple of hours long and soon I can be back loving my sofa...

Birthday treatment

La la la la... I give thanks that it was Rachel's birthday today and she gave me an extra long, extra strong acupuncture treatment plus also made me a mug of tea! I gave her some things as well of course, including some homemade cookies in the box my stir fry came in last week, and a voucher to buy some yarn, which I was very grateful to see she was genuinely extremely pleased with! She's a bit of a crafty soul herself, understanding why I am mildly addicted/obsessed with my new crochet projects (this one I've just started working on, and the ones in my head it's inspired me to make afterwards)

As her latest crochet project had just stalled due to lack of wool, we're both hoping the voucher shop sells the right sort! I give great thanks for her sterling work over the years in keeping me as alive and pain free as possible.We also swapped second hand clothes and she gave me some soya mince...and I took a big bag of used carrier bags to the veg shop that uses them just as they were running out,so lots of going around coming around today.

I give thanks for some bamboo storage boxes I found in a sale arriving this morning...and that they fold flat so that they could. They are just the right size to go in the corner of the bedroom I want them, and just the right size for what I want to put inside!

I give thanks reading this the other day and for the good idea of walking a few steps almost literally in someone else's shoes to improve the route of one's own path a little
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-26383933

also for this article about the difficulties in moving a city
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-26383933 I was particularly grateful to see social anthropologists were involved in the project. Speaking as a partly trained social anthropologist, it's encouraging to employment opportunities here and there.

Anyway...la la la la...I must away and waggle my crochet hook at the fairies...

Run of the ml

Yey, yey and thrice yey...I give thanks that the blood results from last week show that my kidney function has improved a bit again! It's not going up as fast as it was going down but it was getting a little alarmingly near the charmingly named 'end-stage' and really, I spent far too long 'terminally' ill to want to hear phraseology like that. Nobody knows why it slumped or why it's staggering back to its feet but my one lone kidney has had more adventures in its life than most families' sets of six or more, and I am grateful for its perseverance and resilience.

Even my anaemia is better with no intervention, and I have to give thanks for that too..though I'd been hoping to combine the treatment trip with a visit to Lush so, it's not all good news, you understand! I do feel better than I've done for a couple of months, but I have felt awful the last couple of months and wouldn't mind feeling a bit better still if possible so must wait and see. I've been grateful, as always, for the opportunity to remember the skinny dude with the ancient farm implement has me on his list, as this can assist in all manner of healthy thoughts and actions, like taking holidays, and making life more comfortable in whatever way one can. In my case this has included ordering a new mattress and working out a way to rearrange storage in my extremely compact bedroom so things are easier to get to. I'm grateful to Bob for suggesting Gumtree for a second hand chest of drawers, to Jo for picking up one I found near her... and to my bank balance for bearing up!

After pottering about with this and that this morning I was grateful for one of my keel over on the spot naps this afternoon (luckily the spot was the sofa and I did get the tea mug on the table first!); for waking up in time for letting in the cheery Tesco delivery lady I've not seen for a while, and the chance for a natter and a catch up; and this evening for a couple of hours spent what I might not do the best, but do do the most joyfully...playing about! I've a yen to find a use for some of my odds and ends of yarn...maybe some cushion covers? I give thanks for the delights of unplanned creativity but I'd better untie myself from the trailing balls of wool and get some supper on before I keel over again!

Lace weight

Yey, I was outwardly mobile today...much gratitude for that! Obviously, I'm giving thanks for feeling a little more lively, but I'm also grateful that I haven't felt particularly ill or in pain the last couple of days just insanely sleepy. Not that it was driving me insane, you understand...I was far too tired to actually care!

I'm grateful for reminding myself not to think I'm lazy or slovenly when I get like that. I know I'm not in the slightest, but it can be very easy for those who've perhaps not been much appreciated in life to put themselves down when there's no one else around to do it... I give thanks for my son, for showing me it's possible to have a blood relative not wish you weren't.

I give thanks for the outdoorsyness of the great outdoors. For the spring flowers, blossom and trilling birds in the gardens...For the sky; flat grey with just a hint of cloud and sun, and the sea; flat grey with just a hint of twinkle, breaking like lace on the sand. I LOVE that!

I give thanks for the cafe still soldiering on with philosophy and humour despite the fact that, with the sea wall cracked and covered portacabins, portaloos, plant and chaps in orange, their clientele is diminished and takings are down. Gratitude for the seagull only stealing the last bite of my cake, and for that theft spurring me on to make myself one this evening after some rest and recuperation, and a delicious tea of assorted leftovers revamped into a veggie sausage casserole. I'm grateful that when I'm not well I don't feel like eating...so that when I do, I can do it a lot!

Pretty productive

I give thanks for a surprisingly sound sleep last night...and for numerous top ups throughout the day! I'm often tired but my doziness today has been phenomenal, though not unpleasant as, despite the many things I'd have liked to have done, there wasn't much I urgently had to!

I give thanks for taking some rubbish to the bins, and some post to the box and getting a few little chores done about the place in the odd times I was awake and upright. In fact considering how immobile I've been it's surprising (and gratifying!) how productive the day turned out. Clearly you can actually achieve quite a lot in just twenty minutes activity in every one hundred and twenty, though attending the knitting group and choir were out of the question as only chairs, not beds, are provided...

I give thanks for the pretty day, clear and bright with a few menacing clouds passing over but only dropping a drop! Pretty sky this evening too, though none of my photographic devices could capture the colours. I'm grateful I stopped trying!

I give thanks for rustling up a spot of Devon rarebit for my tea. In Wales we had Welsh, and last month they served me Lakeland...so it must be mustn't it? So much tastier than ordinary cheese on toast... And for once I didn't set the smoke alarm off...much gratitude for that! Now, if you'll excuse me I must have a little nap before the washing up...

Hyacinth Bouquet

Ha ha, I just realised what I should have called my last post, so as I'm still enjoying that fragrance I'll do so today. Always grateful for an appropriate and amusing title!

I'm grateful for reading a funny passage about acyrologia on Facebook. If you don't have Facebook and would like to read it do an image search with the word. Some of the incorrect phrases I fear may soon be incorporated in my already somewhat idiosyncratic idiolect because, let's face it, who hasn't wanted to adopt a feeble position when they're experiencing post-dramatic stress?

While you're at it, if you like patterns, patchwork, fabric and/or sewing look for images of Soul Blossoms. I give thanks coming across this gorgeous range for the first time a few hours ago. It's not cheap and I'm very grateful I don't need any material at the moment or I'd be sawly tempted (couldn't resist that...sawly tempted describes what happens in the eye of the beholder very well I think!)

I'm grateful I decided not to go to choir practice in the church this afternoon though I really did want to be there as I love the songs we're singing at the moment and I love visiting religious buildings too. I'd even washed my hair as a start to the preparations, but I've been running so slowly today that it reached the point where it was either make some lunch or go, and I was so pleased that I fancied both making and eating some lunch that it seemed a shame to waste the urge.

I was grateful for a spot of postprandial shut eye afterwards, and changing my bedding though that was most of the day gone. I also give thanks for reading this thought provoking article. I usually enjoy the Point of View pieces as they're usually well articulated and can sometimes make you realise there are ones other than your own...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26383063

Oh, and I'm grateful for very nearly finishing my cardigan. Just a few ends to weave in and the button to sew on. I can't decide which of those to choose...the lighter one looks better by electric light than it does by flash, but I'll wait til day to decide. It goes quite nicely with my rug...I could just put it on and lie there smelling the hyacinths!

Almost there

It was another beautiful morning here, so I gave thanks for the memories of country and coast path walks and for all the people who remember to abandon the cleaning and shopping on their weekends off and get out into the great outdoors! This afternoon it was chilly, windy and grey for a while though, giving me the opportunity to be grateful I'm not a hiker any more!

Various health problems have caused difficulties with various activities today, notably eating and using my hands, but by what seems to me to be a very reasonable twist of fate if you don't feel like eating you don't have to use your hands to prepare any food. I give thanks for this, for finally making it through a small bowl of leftover stew with a slice of buttered toast earlier...and optimistically putting a jacket potato in the oven for later.

I give thanks for at last getting a new ironing board cover to (sort of) fit and whilst grovelling on the floor to do this enjoying the perfume of the hyacinth flowers on the 'fireplace'. Sometimes I find their fragrance too cloying but this is a deep reddish pink one with a gorgeous spicy smell almost like carnations. Love it, and if anyone knows what sort it is please let me know so I can find more!

I'm grateful for the internet. I was thinking the other day how much easier it's made my time being unwell. Mind you, it's made it more expensive...time was when you didn't go out you didn't spend any money! I give thanks for the opportunity it gives me to communicate a little even when there's no one there.

I'm grateful for the dusk chorus. Almost twelve hours of almost daylight we're getting now!