On the dark stride

Wow, in addition to the activities already listed a small load of washing done​ and a few rows of knitting completed - I excelled myself yesterday, even tidying a small drawer when I failed to find what I thought was in it. It's best not to give in to urge to regard life as a tick list but I always give thanks when I manage more than I've set myself, tangibly or otherwise. I give thanks for a long and mostly sound sleep and for getting up in time to attend to a few things before I go out for acupuncture and the things I have to attend to in town. I'm grateful it's cool and grey and my coverings can conceal unshaven legs and unpainted toenails...two less things to do!

I give thanks for having a choice of trousers to wear. For a lot of my life there's been one clean pair and think yourself lucky...apart from when I had my market stall and made clothes for a living. Now I don't think I could actually physically make clothes for a living again (unless ​it was a very small living or they were very expensive clothes!) but I'm very grateful I knew how to design garments to fit around my new bodily requirements (without looking as if that's what they're for!) and would like to find a way to share this good fortune with others. I'm sure I'm not the only woman in the world with difficulty gripping buttons and zips, or with a stoma bag, and that there's other reasons people who aren't otherwise especially large need extra room around their tummies, such as bloating or tenderness after an op. So if any readers know of someone who might be up for trying a pair of comfy straight leg linen trousers for just the cost of materials and postage please let me know as I need to do some customer base research before I go on Dragon's Den. (Only joking...mostly!)

I'm grateful I still think sometimes there might be something I could do with the rest of my days. I was fifty and quite fit when I became unwell with cancer, and there seemed to be so many possibilities still at that time in my life, so many bright roads yet to follow. Like many other travellers I was unprepared for the dark places my journey swerved to instead, and in some ways I've never really returned to the light with all the physical struggles that remain. So even though the most important thing is to enjoy your life right now, I appreciate the times when I feel I could appreciate the future too...