How much?

Usually if I get a voucher from Tesco saying if I spend £80 I can have £12 off, I think 'How much?' They're having a laugh!' but this time of year it buys the Bailey's so a big thank you to Mr and Mrs Tesco for their early Christmas gift! And to their delivery driver who had to carry so much stuff I had to offer to help him

Still feeling less than good, I gave thanks for a Plan A for today was to say in bed until an hour or so before my delivery...but then the sun came out and scuppered this scheme. I was grateful for a Plan B which was to take the cardboard recycling to the big skip just a little way down the hill as from there it's only a little way to the pretty park and the sparkly sea, and I knew whatever my joints and general stamina might say my head and heart would insist on going that extra couple of hundred yards at least.

The only problem with a plan like this on a day like this is how tiring and painful all the little normal tasks for getting ready can be - putting toothpaste on the brush or garments on your body, washing up a cup or slicing some bread to make toast are all accompanied by grimaces and groans, and punctuated with sitting down for resting in between whilst trying not to snooze. I'm very grateful that, mostly, I manage not to get disheartened or exasperated (as neither state helps at all) and that, mostly, there's no reason to try to rush as slow speed me is actually me rushing anyway!

So in the midst of this process I gave thanks for a message from Laura asking if I'd like to go out with her in the car...but not just yet! And when we eventually did we went here, a favourite spot I was delighted to visit again because even though I couldn't manage more than a short part of the path today the views from any part of it are glorious! Lots of pain but lots of gain for which I'm very grateful...and Plan A for tomorrow is to stay in bed...

On the up

Yay, I give thanks that yesterday is over! Not that there was anything intrinsically wrong with it but some days it feels as if anything other than lying down under the covers is a cruel and unnecessary punishment. I'm grateful I managed to get by with only eleven and a half hours of (relative) 'upness' and that today, though I've 'risen' to a few challenges I haven't had to go out anywhere or do anything very demanding.
It can get very boring to feel so rough so often but I'm grateful for all the people doing their best to keep me on my feet at least some of the time. The latest idea is to take me off some of my meds as the side effects were in danger of causing me more harm than the original condition. Kidneys can be tricksy little things...
Much thanks to kindly Lee the delivery driver for bringing my parcel of medical supplies right up to my flat door. It's potentially annoying the workmen leaving the main door open but it does have its advantages. It was good to avoid a trip down and up the stairs and I'm grateful I don't have to go down to the woods to see some autumn colours too!

Spirit Recovery Service

To be honest I don't always feel particularly grateful for everything, nor even equanimous which is, of course, the state to strive for. Undoubtably 'religiously' practising gratitude helps to maintain a background state of healthy attitude but I can still get sick at heart over specifics like anyone else. And when I do, despite aiming just to accept sorrow and to remember it will pass like joy does, there's a tendency to want to turn the feeling round temporarily by tried and tested means. At this point I should be grateful these means are not illegal, expensive or detrimental to body and mind, but as my long term favourite mood enhancers are impossibly inaccessible in other ways, wanting them to cheer me up is a sure way to get sadder!

Anyway, I was a bit of a saddo this morning as I set out to get a couple more balls of scarf wool and a circular needle for someone at the knitting group and the real mission was to find the treasure of good cheer. I was grateful for a letter arriving on the way out with an appointment for a scan. They'd booked me in for my cancer check up chat without one beforehand and I had to remind them that's not how they check... It was touch and go if they could find a slot before my consultation but it's on Friday 13th so maybe they had a cancellation!

I was grateful for the way this news concentrated my mind as one more hospital outing to find the energy for meant I had to make the most of today's just for pleasure trip. And I was grateful that I did, most energetically! I was grateful for the beautiful autumn colours where usually there's bare branches by now, especially the trees reflected on the still water of the river...and my mp3 player playing music I loved. I was grateful for being able to get somewhere, even if nowhere I specially wanted to be...and then I got hold of a bus table book and realised I could go somewhere else it would be feel like a treat to be...so I did! I went to the town where it's always Christmas in my head (because I rarely go and it's usually winter and the shops are full of lovely things) and told the lady in the chocolate shop and she said understood because she only comes here in the summer! I was grateful I had a couple of people to buy gifts for (including me!) and was grateful not many so I didn't shop for long and could see more trees on the way back...but the bus didn't come and it got dark. But then I was grateful it was a small rural town in Devon so a teenage boy, an elderly lady and myself could feel perfectly OK about chatting to pass the time!

And on the way back, in the dark, we passed a landrover parked facing out onto the road...and on the front it said Spirit Recovery Service. I wrote it down to look up on the internet when I got home and find out about the unusual name this local breakdown company has...and I can find no reference to it at all. But I did realise I'd cheered up and it would be grand name for my blog post today!

Last of all

Well now, let me see...I'm grateful I was mostly cosy in bed last night, and for the pretty sky as the sun came up this morning. I was grateful that I had to get up myself for a medical delivery otherwise, very weak and sleepy, I'd probably have stayed snuggled under the covers for hours. I'm grateful for discovering the delivery wasn't coming too...so I could stay snuggled on the sofa for much of the day instead...and of course, I'm grateful the supplies weren't desperately required. Gratitude for the noise of the work going on upstairs to stop me from actually falling asleep deeply asleep but thanks also for a couple of light snoozes to the sound of the scraper knife!

I give thanks for getting clean bedding on my bed at last (a two day job this time so I'm grateful for a sofa that's really a made up bed as well). Gratitude for my washing machine to put the laundry in, and for my body for putting itself in the kitchen and doing the stack of washing up too!

Lastly I was also extremely grateful for getting the proper BBC website back on my phone this morning, instead of the excruciating web version. I don't know where it had gone - nowhere as obvious as the desktop site link at the bottom of the page that's for sure - but it was very pleasing to have it back. For a while. Nothing lasts forever does it? Well, not without changing anyway...

By and buy

Today I gave thanks for my new hat being so comfy and cosy to wear. It's one thing to design things that look OK but if they're for you they have to fit and feel good too, something you can only find out by wearing them for a while. I was grateful for all the praise at the knitting group as well, it's nice to have knitters admire your knitting...

I gave thanks for getting the shopping and other odds and ends done that needed doing while I was in town, plus one cheery cab driver and one who made me appreciate the cheery one even more! Also for pausing by the sea as the tanker lights came on in the twilight, and the little birds squabbled over the best perches in the tree in the triangle with the most leaves still left on it.

Much gratitude for a gallon of tea and two M&S mince pies on my return. I wouldn't normally buy M&S mince pies but I was in there the other day with a voucher I got for testing some urostomy gear and they were on special offer by the till going 'Buy me! Buy me!' and I'm rather grateful that I did!

I give thanks they restored me enough to have another go at a small but scary paint job where the rule 'test in an inconspicuous area' really would apply...if there was an inconspicuous area. Previous attempt was a complete fail and it's too soon to tell how this one will turn out so I can but be grateful for perseverance and optimism at this stage. I'm also grateful I'm optimistic at some point I'll find a bit more energy to get some supper and tidy up one of the rooms with beds in enough to go to bed...

Big head

This weekend I've been giving thanks for the simplicity of the catering. Every time I've opened the fridge or a cupboard there's been something that needs using up so there's been less brain power involved let alone woman power! This has meant the little energy I've had has been free for other things...including emptying, washing and refilling afresh some of my herb and spice jars the contents of which were beyond using up!  Much thanks for the satisfaction this gave me, and for having a proper health food shop locally where you can buy 25g of just about anything weighed and bagged in the spot.

I've also been getting stuck into one of my make-it-up-as-you-go-along knitting projects which, I'm grateful to say, has turned into another beanie style hat suitable for wearing with long hair up and tucked in, and much gratitude too for this being a consideration as well, of course! There was a vague idea in my head but it evolved organically as my knitting often does. If any of you think 'Ooh that's nice!' and want to do something similar I could remember what I did and make a pattern of sorts I'm sure...just let me know.

After the reverse stocking stitch bands I went up another needle size to make the crown quite loose and drapey. I was using a circular needle as it's easier on my hands and wrists but knitting backwards and forwards as I've never knit in the round...after a couple of rows of this though I thought 'I'm knitting a circular thing flat on a circular needle - how daft is that?' and just carried on round on the next row. So there I am happily (and gratefully) knitting a tube with no purl rows or seam to sew up when it dawned on me it'd have to get smaller in a few inches and I didn't know how. I've never knitted on double pointed needles either but I did have a set of the right size still in their packet so I thought I'd have ago at that too for the decreasing at the top. Clearly this is a skill you learn in nana school along with making Shreddies. I'm not a nana, my manual control is limited and, of course, it never crossed my mind to put the tangle down and go and find some instructions...I'm far too in touch with my masculine side for that! When I'd finally finished - the hat, and beating myself up about it not being 'perfect' - it dawned on me that actually it's a pretty good attempt. It would actually be quite good if I'd known what I was doing and had been following a pattern by someone who knew even better. Better shut up now or I'll need a bigger size!

Snap

Heavens, that was a nippy night! Gratitude for all the sparkly stars revealed in those heavens though, and also for the emergency layer of fleecy throw I keep close by the bed for when my body temperature plummets in the black iciness just before dawn...

I'm going to have to go back on my no more yarn pledge because I really need some more now (I do, I do!). Having bought 'just one to play with', thinking I might put it with some other oddments, I have played and now wish to knit myself a whole scarf in its fluffy deliciousness (before I next go outdoors for preference though that might be a tad tricky to pull off!). Look how lovely it is though! I give particular thanks that has to be knitted on the largest needles I have, and loosely on them too, as it makes a muscular antidote to a hat I'm making from a couple of irresistible yarns from other days that are finer and need narrower pins. The hat in progress can be glimpsed in the top right corner behind the scarf in progress so, you'll see, they'll be co-ordinated too. This is not particularly planned...I just seem to have a bit of a thing about burgundy with bits in at the moment and these are not the only yarns I've bought lately that might fit that description...

Today was the first day all week that I haven't had to get up for something so I was very grateful for that weekend feeling this morning with a long lie in and a long hot bath to follow. Also that there's an empty flat upstairs so I didn't have to listen to what other people were doing while I did nothing at all! I've been very sleepy and sore after the busyness of the last few days so I've been rather grateful for little bits of non-essential progress here and there...not only in knitting myself some accessories but also in re-instating the bathroom bits and bobs. It's a slow process as everything that goes back in there has to be not only spick and span but also justify its inclusion and position. It's been more than five years since the room was first decorated so a sort out not excessively before time!

Click

Today's hospital appointment was at the one with extra wide chairs and I decided to combine it with my semi annual visit to Asda to buy a new thermal vest or two...not that I'm implying the size of the seating has anything to do with a 24hr superstore being nearby! Asda do the prettiest and cosiest vests I've ever had and I give great thanks for discovering this unlikely fact as, of course, they're at a great price too. Also for learning to buy them 'Click and Collect' and not to be tempted by anything else in there, as though they've lots of attractive bargains, the tedious journey through the tills is enough to put you off whatever you've purchased for good!

I give thanks for several other serendipitous retail experiences. I've even bought a couple of Christmas gifts (something I've been so far unusually unenthusiastic about this year), plus a large box of favourite chocs much reduced as non Christmas present for me. I also give thanks for my kindly neighbours taking in some packages the postman brought (note to self: I need NO more knitting yarn for the rest of the year at least!)

I was grateful for the slightly surreal experience of being shown some Tai Chi by a heavily tattooed Physio who shared his name with a rural 19th century poet...in a brightly lit hospital consultation room! I think I shall like it a lot, especially as in the therapeutic circumstances there's no pressure to get it exactly right or to do it for any particular length of time. For someone of my persuasions it is therapeutic in itself just to hear someone employed by the NHS taking about Chi.

Gratitude too that so many people I encountered seemed in good spirits and of good cheer, perhaps due to the delightfully blue skied and sunny winter weather, for the bus driver having the Red Dwarf theme tune for a ring tone on his phone and the incredibly awesomely scenic journey to and fro...sea, countryside, river and moor, a pretty sunset and Christmas lights twinkling in the towns as darkness fell. Right now though, most of all, I'm giving great thanks that I'm home and warm and fed and soon to be horizontal...that was a very long and very busy day!

Warm and fuzzy

Yay! I managed to get my bathroom mirror back on the freshly painted wall! The fixing design was as much a whimsical make-it-up-as-you-go-along idea (courtesy of Clive) as the shell pattern on the front by me, and (clearly) came from stronger, nimbler fingered times so I'm very grateful it only took a couple of attempts. The rest of scene in there and the bedroom next door is one of post decorating chaos so I'm giving thanks I can now gaze at my unblemished reflection instead...before I put my glasses back on again...
I'm grateful too that Bob has said he's up for exchanging mini stockings...and finding things to put in them of course. This is mine...sparkly and fluffy and quite stretchy too! Since I started making them there's been some great suggestions for suitably miniature contents including a memory stick, make up, stationery items, condoms and a keyring...plus I've seen two women get ring signs in their eyes like some people get ones for money! Already I've two things for Bob that are none of the above...
I give thanks for finally getting round to trying some new Korma paste I've had a little while, ideal for livening up some tired veg, but I think perhaps I could use half the quantity next time. Whooff! Definitely lively!
This morning my feet were cold eating in the kitchen so much gratitude for finding a little offcut mat the right size and colour for fitting under the table in one of the carpet shops in town. There's been no further progress this week upstairs or on the landing so I was also grateful to find a cheap doormat to wipe the debris off outside and a long strip of bubble wrap to make an extra door curtain liner as a barrier to the icy air creeping in from the broken windows.
Finally, I'm grateful I wrote most of this before I went out because the acupuncture fairies are gathering now to whisk me away...

Finest hours

This morning I meant to spend in with my aches and pains in bed, but Laura had the opportunity to come and finish the painting of the bathroom walls so I gave thanks I had to get up and get going in the end. It'll be a while before I can get all the thises and that's in place again but much gratitude that corner's been turned...

This afternoon I was extremely grateful to be a little less wilfully weary and wimpy for a couple of hours.  I even took something to the postbox at the end of the terrace without my scarf and hat! Hardcore or what?

I gave thanks I managed to re-sew a couple of armholes on a dress that had sagged on a hanger in a high street store while waiting for me to come and rescue it...then I sagged and had to settle back on the sofa before rescuing myself with hot food. I give thanks for Tesco's Finest cauliflower cheese - almost as good as the real thing and far less energetic! Sometimes it really does feel as if it must be someone else's turn to cook tea, or maybe even takeaway night...but of course it never is, so I'm grateful for a ready meal now and then.

I give thanks for this story of incredible enterprise and invention:
http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24524027

And for choosing to watch a foreign subtitled film this evening...that way I can't do anything else!

A little bit me

I've been a mite on the fatigued side today...just for a change, ha ha! I'm grateful for finding some things to do that didn't need much doing to amuse me when the pain was not amusing at all, and for getting done the few things that really did need doing...

I'm grateful for simple things to eat that really just needed heating. I'm always amazed by how much washing up they can create so I'm grateful I've done that too!

I'm grateful for the changing colours of the leaves outside...and of the bathroom walls.

I give thanks for the beautiful sunshine...and for not having to go out and feel the biting wind!

Pick me up

Last night I was grateful I remembered to fill a hot water bottle before bed. I keep forgetting until I get under the covers and it's cold, but it would be even colder getting out to make one! And though it wasn't the chilliest of nights it means the bottle's around and about ready to remind me again...

This morning I gave thanks I had to get up for one or two things because otherwise I wouldn't have done and though exceptionally painful and slow the day's not been without benefits. I give thanks for remembering the tasty Earl Grey tea loaf I'd made as it was the thought of that that tipped me over the edge...of the mattress!

I'm grateful for picking prescriptions up from the doctors just as the cloud thinned and the light made pretty patterns with the pier and the water...

...and for picking up from the Post Office a parcel of wire racks and shelves for inside my kitchen cupboards so it's easier for me to get plates and dishes out when my hands are very sore. They're very sore today so I can't fully install them but I can see what a difference they'll make when I do...

Gratitude too to Laura for coming to do a couple of hours painting and picking me up from town in the process. She also helped me make up the bed on the sofa so the heap of things put out of the way from the decorating in the bathroom and hall don't have to be re-organised tonight. I've been very grateful for the last of the lentil stew for my supper too...just what I need to pick myself up before some very important snoozing!

Horizons

The colours of the leaves are changing so quickly now I swear if you sat still and watching you could actually see them do it! I give thanks for the views I have from here...and for those on 'Autumn' on the Great British Year series I watched this afternoon. As usual I was mesmerised by what water looks like on a 'modern' TV screen (mine's 5 or 6 years old) - had to put the iron down and pick up the camera!

I gave thanks for the way the sea and sky have been almost indistinguishably the same shade of grey or blue all day - very atmospheric! And for the sight of the lights of the tankers manouvering in the bay as darkness fell. I'm aware some people might think this is a batty thing to like but it's a rare treat when high tide and sunset happen at just the right times...and there's shipping around to play its part. I always give thanks for the fact they do it in front of my window too...

Not having a lot of energy today mostly I've been getting stuck into the sedentary task of catching up on TV programmes recorded or downloaded over the last few months so I give thanks for the wherewithal to do this...and my excellent taste of course! Oh yes, and talking of taste I give thanks for the tasty tea bread I hastily assembled too.

One of the things I watched was a Horizon episode about personality, particularly changes that can be made to something we tend to think of as being just the way we are. There was some troubling stuff (especially if you're a rat who hasn't been licked a great deal!) but it was encouraging to see how much could be done to deliberately remould even the physical manifestations of miserable personality traits... especially encouraging if you're a human who does this stuff anyway!  And though there was the obligatory shot of a Buddhist monk in an MRI scanner it was even better to have someone new to meditation and interested in those pesky hard facts have their brain changes looked at after a few weeks. The programme's expired on blink-and-you've-missed-it-yet-again BBC iplayer but you can read all about it here http://www.rainybrainsunnybrain.com/bbc-horizon/  and even do the non non-attachment exercises the researcher did to try to alter his attachment to the negative. Go on try them...I promise you won't turn out like me! Well, only in a good way...

Huh?

Well now, let's see...I've been grateful for the visit from my mojo last week. She's wandered off again now, but that's probably all for the best - wears me out, she does!  I give thanks for the yummy lentil stew she made before departure...

I'm grateful that this week none of the links I wanted to read on the BBC's '10 things we didn't know last week' took you to pages where you had to log in or subscribe...

I particularly enjoyed this snippet about language use and confusion
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/11/-em-huh-em-means-the-same-thing-in-every-language/281359/

and these the QI 'facts' http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/qi/10432383/QI-facts-women-spend-16-months-of-their-lives-crying.htmlDVX\   ...though best not read it just to grumble about some aspect of it like people who leave comments on articles usually seem to do!

I give thanks for a pretty handwritten card from the cancer centre I took those mini stockings to thanking me enthusiastically for my contribution...

And I'm grateful that Laura agreed to accompany me to see the choir perform at the Jazz Fringe late this afternoon as I would have been too tired to motivate myself on my own. They did so well, and I was so grateful I wasn't doing it with them! Lovely to see churches used as venues for secular events, and to use those wonderful acoustics too. We both gave thanks it was such a mild and dry evening and but the stew still went down well on return...

Of mice and women

Today I went shopping and spent all my energy! It's a shop I haven't been to under my own steam for years because I always think it's too far to walk to for me these days..and yep, can't argue with my estimation! I give thanks that they had just what I imagined they would do though, at the right prices and the right weight to carry (just about!). I give thanks for the helpful and friendly shop staff, and for friendly and helpful Laura for picking me up at the station on the way up here to put another coat of paint on a couple of the bathroom walls. Only two of them are being done at a time as she can't come every day and it's tricky to have nowhere to put anything in a bathroom in between...

I'm grateful for the chilly but clement weather and that the trees are turning at last - it's been odd to have it winter cold when the landscape still looks like summer. I gave thanks I couldn't get a sea side seat on the train so I could give the countryside my full attention...

I'm grateful for a Tesco delivery including some quite non essential things that were tasty and on special offer...and for getting the ones it's essential are kept in the fridge inside it. The rest are strewn about the worktop and I'm grateful it's a bit high up here for mice! I'm grateful for leftovers for my tea (nutty bake and fruity crumble) and that an early night and a long lie in are on their way...

Do look back!

What a lot to be thankful for today, including...

For being as effective a weather god as ever: I step outside and the rain clouds part...a much more useful attribute than having the sun shine out of your behind, I reckon!

For thinking to ask people I knew if they were interested in the contents before taking a bag of fabric bits to a charity shop...Laura grabbed the printed ones and Rachel was in need of the plain!

For two people who haven't seen me for a little while exclaiming how much my hair has grown. If you've had alopecia you never forget your hair today may be gone tomorrow and you never stop being grateful for however much you've got...

For my first acupuncture piercing for three weeks. How lovely to see Rachel and feel the heal...

For the chaps doing the clear up upstairs being so good natured and pleasant to have around. It can't be easy, apart from the six flights of stairs between the flat and the ground today they started on the roof over the porch, wading knee deep in piles of decomposing food, sodden clothing, used drug needles and broken glass. The rotting window frame gave way in the process so they improvised an amusing little screen to help keep me cosy tonight!

And finally for two brilliant BBC4 documentaries about early British jazz and rock and roll. For some reason the rock and roll one was on first so obviously I watched them in reverse but they were both extremely entertaining, informative and funny and full of remarkably well preserved characters and fascinating film footage. It's almost all way before my time of course (of course it's 'of course'...don't be cheeky!) but I've danced many hours away to music that came into being about the same as I did, and basically anyone who has danced since in fun rather than formality owes it great homage. Without rock and roll, ravers, you'd still only be able to dance in the aisles...and someone would probably try to stop you if you did!

Blue moon

Ooooh, there's a name for it...one of my slightly subversive favourite things about 'knowing'  things that I sometimes find hard to put into words. It's called....(ta daa!)...the half life of facts. I literally 'lolled' with delight and gratitude when I found out about that. I want a badge with it on, and when people insist on wanting hard irrefutable truth I'll point to my chest and say...at which point in its slithery decomposition would you like it exactly? Much gratitude to the QI elves for enlightening me!
Today I also give thanks that more trash and debris is being removed from the flat upstairs. I made a cuppa for a couple of the guys about six very large car loads in and they said in all their many years of doing this kind of work they'd never seen a mess quite this bad. I'm grateful there's less of it above my head!
I'm grateful I've had more energy the last two or three days. The previous few weeks I'd been absurdly limp and feeble, even by my current not very high standards, so it's been great to get a few more things done about the place. Today I was even able to do some decorating prep which meant Laura was able to get more painting done this afternoon. I'm always very grateful for Laura's help but she did so much today I thought the clocks must be wrong at the end of it! I give thanks I like the colour of the new paint for the bathroom...you never know what it's really going to look like, do you, even after you've opened the tin? It's sort of this colour...tho, of course, you now have about as much of an idea as I did before it was on the walls and dry...
And finally I give thanks for deciding to be a bit more generous to myself as regards (trying to) keep the place warm. I've never had much money to burn, and without central heating this time of year I've got a financial thermostat working in my head that goes 'Blimey you're comfortable, think of the bills...turn that down at once!' I've come to the conclusion if I've three pairs of socks on, a thermal vest, leggings, two long sleeve tops, a woolly cardigan and a throw pulled up to my armpits then I'm probably not being excessively extravagant if I keep the ambient temperature to a level where I don't need a hat and scarf on as well...but it's going to take a while to get used to the lifestyle change.

Top notes

I'm very grateful I went to choir last night. There were reasons not too - I was tired, for instance, and they were practising for an upcoming performance I won't be taking part in - but I wasn't as tired as I often can be, it wasn't cold or wet, and the neighbours you wouldn't want to meet on a dark night had gone away, so because I really wanted to have a sing I made the extra effort. It turned out the sky was stunningly beautiful with wreathes of cloud around patches of twinkling stars, and as well as David's jazzy piano we were rehearsing partly with a double bass (which you could hear all up the road giving the boy racers a run for their money!) and partly completely sweetly unaccompanied so it was all a great treat and very uplifting.

It dawned on me later that throughout my itinerant isolated childhood I joined school or church choirs, without prompting or cajoling or wondering if it was cool or even convenient, as if on an inbuilt mission to access all possible harmony.  You know it's good for you, you've seen that Gareth chap, but if your life is particularly lacking in opportunities for companionable co-operative activity it can be extra beneficial to the soul.

Statistically it's bound to happen, I guess...if you watch enough episodes of Come Dine with Me eventually you'll know a contestant. I can't say I really know this one, but enough to hear the name and the city and think 'Ooh, is that...?' And then see the face and the workplace and go 'Oh, yes it is!' It's kind of pleasing anyhow and I give thanks for that.

I give thanks for 'winning' a couple of balls of yarn on ebay that I'd had my eye on for a while but had waited to the last hour or so to bid for. There's something very satisfying in purchasing goods this way especially if you get a bargain as well as what you wanted to buy!

I give thanks for the brief pretty sunset clouds, for the last of a huge and flavoursome apple crumble for afternoon tea, and an even bigger cheesy leek and hazelnut bake in the oven for my supper.

What lies beneath

I give thanks that it's ladybird time again...clusters of them on and around the windows as usual this time of year. People sometimes ask me 'How many spots?' but I usually see their tummies and can't tell!

I give thanks for the news we are getting a Waitrose here. Quality food and increased house values...what's not to like eh? It's going to be somewhere I can get to it too otherwise I probably wouldn't be so grateful...

I give thanks for the gorgeous light over the sea late this afternoon - difficult to capture but you can't blame me for trying!

I give thanks that I had a prescription request to drop off at my seafront doctors' surgery too or I'd not have been there to see.

I give thanks for these poignant photographs of English life in not so very long gone eras - amusing commentary too!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-24826739

Taste of things

I give thanks for a lift of the spirits today,
A little less SADness, and more pain at bay.
For stretching a bit in the Shiatsu style,
Not very much...but more than for a while.

I'm grateful for layers and layers of clothes,
Some people don't feel cold - I'm not one of those!
I'm grateful for sewing a seam or two too,
Starting on something I've wanted to do.

I'm grateful for getting the washing up done,
Always essential and often not fun.
And I give thanks for pizza reduced at the shop
Extra delicious with extras on top!

I give thanks for some changes to set curtains twitching,
I'll say no more here, don't want to be bitching...
And I'm grateful for finding a photo I took
So more see my post and think 'Oh, I'll have a look!'

Success

Brr! I'm grateful I can reach to switch the heater on without getting completely out of bed. I'm grateful that my room is small and warms up easily...

I'm grateful I booked a cab yesterday to pick me up this morning otherwise I might have stayed a lot later in my cosy bed and thus missed the things I intended to do - to see the film Deep Water about Donald Crowhurst's participation (and otherwise) in the round the world yacht race and a preceding talk about personality and deception by a clinical psychologist from a local forensic mental health unit. These were both informative and moving and followed by tea and cake provided by the fantastically functional ladies of the choir. I'm particularly grateful to the ones who manage to engage in conversation with me without reminding how I fail to be, or wanting to know exactly why...we can't all be Robin Knox-Johnston, and there'd be no point in him being him if we were. There's a lot to be said for being an also ran, a stumbled and fell, a lost at sea...for we who fail to achieve make those who do more aware of their success.

I was grateful for the other delights of the Science Festival such as dancing raisins, do it yourself lava lamps and cornflour pretending it was on QI.

I gave thanks too for the stunning clarity of the headlands in the sunshine around the bay. And for getting the essential shopping done at the Co-op before coming home to fail to knit anything and fail to cook and wash up. This afternoon I've been in touch with my inner Bernard Moitessier, pulling out of the race. I'm grateful for some considerable success at that!

Back to lack

Neither full of beans physically, nor full of the joys of life, today's Plan A was for a complete lack of productive activity in the afternoon and evening hours, snoozing with a variety of 'comfort food' TV recorded on recent evenings when I've been unable to stay awake - this has been happening so often lately my Sky box storage was getting full! I was grateful to Jenny for coming round to help get the flat clean, and for leftovers for lunch and tea so I didn't make it very messy again afterwards. Much gratitude she'd managed to get through to her mother in the Philippines too, after many anxious attempts.

It was hard work not doing anything for hours so after a nap and programme or two I decided to tackle a home maintenance job which resisted and insisted on more hands and motivation than I could muster so I was grateful to give up on that, exonerated and ready for another doze...after which I made rice pudding for supper which I gave lip smacking thanks for too. I give thanks for some more pretty rockets visible from indoors and that I'm optimistic about the possibility of staying be awake for a Lush bath before bed tonight after stocking up with favourites yesterday but running out of steam. I'm grateful their bath melts last longer that way!

The road is long

Another day, another....hospital appointment! This one was somewhere I've not been for a while so I gave thanks for a top front seat on the bus and different scenic views and sights to see like a golf course full of geese and a garden fence covered in crocs (the shoes not the reptiles...and no, I don't know why!)

It's been a day of delays and dealing with things (including this entire post disappearing during the 'publish' stage!) so I give thanks for the practice in patience and equanimity. Thanks too for the lesson in humility when I took my mini stocking collection to the cancer centre and found they already had a range of handmade Christmas bits and bobs to sell, more stylishly constructed and displayed than mine which they kindly said they would 'save until the others have all gone'. I felt small enough to fit in one and grateful that I had the money to donate from those already sold so I didn't feel completely pointless. I give thanks for my delusions of silk purseness sometimes because it's comforting to feel we have something to offer in life, but it's useful to be reminded of the sow's ear reality now and then...

I always forget how much nippier it can be a short way north and inland from here so I was grateful for my coat and boots and hat and scarf today...wish I'd remembered my vest though! Through many years of research I've come to the conclusion British winters are more easily borne with central heating, cars (plus the fuel for these of course) and warm souls to share the cave with. I give thanks that all my friends have at least two out of the three but if you know anyone who doesn't, who might find the world a chilly place this time of year, I recommend a vest...and a lot of chocolate!

Going down

I give thanks that, having lent someone an old Office disc to copy, she lent me the usb stick she copied it onto so that I now have a proper word programme on my new laptop instead of the limp and frustrating freebie. In theory I could have done this myself with my old laptop that has a disc drive but sadly the little gnomes that live inside that one are on a work to rule and have ruled out a lot of work! I like the cosmic logic of what has happened anyway…not what goes around comes around but what goes down must come back up!

I give thanks I made it down to town here for a few jobs that needed to be done. One shop was on an extended lunch break and a queue formed outside, but after a bit I needed to sit down so took advantage if a coffee and fresh doughnuts offer at a nearby cafe instead. I love fresh doughnuts so great thanks for that and, as the cafe itself didn't appeal I sat on the seafront with a takeaway version enjoying the low cloud and misty rain and the way a shaft of sunlight lit up the headland (and caravans!) on the other side of the bay...

I'm grateful my latest blood tests show things have gone down that should already be further up, not because I like to dwell and tell where illness is concerned, but if I'm not feeling right I'd rather there's an obvious reason. It also meant when I was half way to the supermarket and suddenly thought 'No, I can't do this I need to go home right now,' I didn't think I ought to try harder but just gave up and got into a cab. I'm grateful there were no groceries urgently required and that I had the taxi fare.

And I'm grateful that some neighbouring houses had their fireworks tonight so that for the second evening running I've been dining in the dark watching their little displays. Rather yummy dinner too, though I say so myself!

Bright sparkles

I'm grateful I've managed to get some replacement stockings made today, and that when I ran out of the little bows and so on I trim some of them with, I remembered a bag of heart shaped sequins I could use instead. Much gratitude to Jan for supplying them to me...I remember at the time saying I wasn't sure what I'd use them for!

I'm grateful to the TV for keeping me company, for some moving documentaries and funny QIs...

I'm grateful I had no one to go to a bonfire with so I could stay warm indoors by myself not shivering next to couples cuddling up to keep each other cosy, but I give thanks for the sight of one in a neighbouring garden though, children's faces lit by its glow, squealing over sparklers. I give thanks for all the memories of other Bonfire Nights...

I'm grateful to all those kind people who are letting off fireworks where I can see them from my windows. And for the wind for dropping so that the rockets go straight up, as the trees seem more leafy still this year than they often are by now and lower ones would be hidden.

I'm grateful for plain chocolate digestive biscuits.

Ivy league

I give thanks for the dawn light waking me up today. I don't find the dark months easy so I'm very grateful that the sun rises in front of my windows this time of year.

I give thanks for feeling a bit more energetic earlier on and being able to spend a little time in the wonderful winter sunshine watching the bugs and butterflies pretending it was spring...

I give thanks for the flat blue sea folding into rollers and yachts like upside down bunting between the bigger ships on the horizon. There's a tanker that's been 'parked' in the bay for a week (conveniently in view of my bedroom window!) and I love how it seems to be different colours and shapes as its angles and the light change. For some reason it raises its cranes sometimes and I like to imagine there's a long line and some bait hanging down and the crew are using them to fish! I give thanks for enjoying all manner of watercraft and for living by the coast.

I give thanks for going to the knit and natter group and doing those very things... I also took all my mini stockings to show them before they go to the Force Centre in a couple of days...and sold twenty pounds worth to donate! The down side of this is that I feel I should now knit some more and I'm grateful I've started though now I'm finished for the day, finished for everything - no choir, no craftwork, no washing up or tidying, no more anything can be done except maybe a little practising lying down until it's time for bed and giving thanks for Crazy Jack's organic apricots...Mmm, delicious!

Winter blues

Winter blues? Buy some bargain fabric and make yourself a dress! Well, if you wear dresses that is...might not be much help if you don't. I thought I'd finished this a few days ago but didn't have the energy afterwards to try in on and check so I'm grateful that it fits and looks OK.

I also give thanks for this bum warming local story
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-24773341

and this one of an unusual course to romance
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/transgender-teens-find-happiness-article-1.1410225

I'm grateful bedtime is not so very far away. My weariness amazes me. Still, I've given thanks I have no one to meet (because that would just be far too much effort) and I'm sure there's potential for a song in there somewhere! In a way I'm actually grateful I keep falling asleep as it's a bit disheartening not being able to do so many things I'd like to, but when you're asleep you don't care...and sleep is healing so it can't be doing any harm, I'm sure. I am greatly grateful I've been able to do the most important and essential tasks in between the snoozes. If you're well, or have someone to tend to your needs when not, it's easy to be quite unaware of what a bonus blessing this is. Oh, and I'm grateful it's been a wet and windy evening with not too many fireworks going off...because I always want to jump up and have a look out the window when they do!

Alternative

Yesterday I bought a granny skirt in a charity shop because I rather liked the paisley pattern fabric and there was a lot of it for £2.99. There wasn't enough to make the garment I had in mind but I was frankly grateful for that, as it did need something to stop it reminding me of a very busy shop here, popular with coach tours, where old ladies buy the kind of clothes that somehow only they want to wear. Whatever I may think of 'old lady' sartorial style, I seem to have been catapulted into the lifestyle like it or not and I was wondering when I might next have the opportunity to go to a fabric shop and find something to go with it, when I remembered some material I already had that might do. I give thanks for finding it and deciding it does! You may look at the photo and disagree, of course, so I'm grateful I don't care about that...
I'm grateful for managing my recovery from yesterday's trip so that household chores have been caught up with a little...along with copious periods of rest. Most bits of me hurt and mostly all I want to do is sleep, but this has become the new normal over the last eighteen months or so and all I can do is be grateful that this condition now has a name other than me being a wimp. Although I'm not a great fan of labelling things, in this case it helps to understand why I can't vacuum and knit on the same day, for example, or go outdoors and also cook a proper meal. I give thanks for a long chat with my lovely GP about this, and many other things besides and she told me she recommends Tai Chi to sufferers, though she said one patient said she couldn't do it because she was a Christian! Two NHS medical professionals recommending Tai Chi in as many weeks? It's clearly the latest thing despite being centuries old.
I give thanks for the pretty tinted clouds at dawn and for the Tesco delivery man going straight through into the kitchen with my order, without being directed or asked, and helping me unpack - beyond the call of duty and a great help to me too! Also that when all was sorted after that...and the sofa was begging 'don't leave me!' I turned on the TV and a Columbo I'd not seen was starting (one with Billy Connelly in it?) audible over the howling wind that's louder at times than that fearsome storm they were forecasting last week. I seem to have slipped into an alternative universe...and I give great thanks for that!

Gap of cloud

Iago Prytherch penned a few sheep in his, but I was grateful for mine to round up the town chores in fifty shades of grey sky and sea, but hardly a smidgen of drizzle. I gave thanks for getting all the things done I needed to do before I went out...and all the things done I needed to do before I got back as well!

I gave thanks for all the smiley chatty folk I met as I went about my business, those I knew already and some I'd not met before, all apparently intent on making their day and everyone else's pass as pleasantly as possible. As often before, I was overwhelmed by gratitude that I made the choice to move here when I was well and working and moving was still a possibility.

Home again I gave thanks for a long sound siesta and then for plenty of leftovers from yesterday's cooking binge so I could just wake up, heat up and eat up! I'm grateful for a kettle, a toilet, a sofa, a heater, a TV and a remote control...pretty much all I'm going to be needing for the rest of the day...