Amazing grace

I give thanks for my Buddhist tendencies...or maybe it's my interest in quantum physics...whatever helps me go 'Whatever - none of this is really real!' I give thanks for the parts of the illusion that result in pleasure, and for the comprehension that preference for pleasure can result in pain!

I give thanks for another patient hour or two attempting to access a chunk of pension fund to pay off a chunk of mortgage so that whatever transpires regarding selling and buying property a chunk of roof stays over my head...

Great aches notwithstanding, I give thanks for deciding on the (maybe) conclusion of this epic procedure to hobble about in the chill drizzle awhile. For wanting to buy Julie a slice of vegan cake...which of course meant buying myself a sweet treat too!

I give thanks for many years without a Capability for Work Assessment and for dealing with the horror of receiving one now. Just the horror, mind, not the form as yet, let alone the dreaded face-to-face meeting...

There are times, here and there, when I am remarkably capable of some kinds of functioning, but not on demand...and even contemplating the demands of being sent out to seek a job when I can't guarantee even getting to the front door is exhausting. I give thanks for discovering receiving regular haemodialysis automatically renders your capability as 'limited' in their black and white point scoring system...so this unexpected jolt, coming just before tomorrow's expected discussion re a date to start treatment, highlights the subjective nature of 'good' and 'bad' news. What will be will always be...until it becomes something else!

I give thanks for finding and sharing humour with those I encounterd as I went about my business. Even if you don't seem to have much to offer to others, at least you can hope to help them smile...