Eighty-two

Last night I give thanks I didn't have to get up for anything early today when every time I drifted off the thought police shook me awake to worry.  I've always thought of myself as a problem solver not a worrier but if none of the solutions you've come up with have worked worrying is natural I guess.

I give thanks for reminding myself that my difficulties are first world ones, elsewhere on the planet I would have died of disease or starvation a long time ago.  Also for contemplating the concept of 'worth less' which is rather different to the two words joined up. With government departments judging me so, to say nothing of wider society, I started thinking about the things that make us seem worth more. Obviously not my area of expertise but there's not much we value we can take with us when we go is there? All things must pass and all that most of us will be is a gradually fading memory. Apologies these seem negative thoughts to you - to me they seem very helpful and I'm grateful for thinking this way

Yesterday's 8.20 buzz from the fitters when I was expecting them at 9 - 9.30 left me wrong footed all day so I was grateful after little sleep I could surface slowly to take a phone call at 10.30. This was a call I'd been supposed to have the afternoon before so there was a slight scepticism even regarding that...and sure enough they called at 9 and I was wrong footed all over again! It was from yet another alleged source of help, though it turned out there wasn't a great deal they seemed to be able to do with some of the sticky situations I'm in but obviously every little and all that...I was quite pleased it was out of the way anyway so I could get through my morning tasks at a leisurely pace...and then I got a text informing me the taxi was on its way an hour earlier than usual and I was plunged back into a pit of doom about the cackhandedness of transport provision, first world perk or not! I'd checked with the ward my slot was the same time so was ready for a long wait even if not quite ready to depart for it, so I gave great thanks they managed to get a machine ready for me early giving me just enough time for a trek across the site for a cup of tea and a scone before my allotted three and a quarter hours. I even kind of give thanks for another blood pressure episode as it meant I lay down and rested for a while which I normally find hard with all the noise and bustle around and it helped the time go quicker being out of it for a while.

Having (I thought) arranged for a later pick up as I'd been running over time before I was prepared for hanging around a bit when I was done but the taxi firm had mysteriously altered the
collection time too to earlier instead and I was home before six which is a bonus. I'd just arrived on the doorstep when I was accosted by the folk who deal with the maintenance at the block and was extremely grateful they took all that stuff away that was on the landings and told me the other work was in hand! I have a busy weekend ahead doing more forms and letters and catching up with the chores when I really would like to do something something more fun, but that cheered me up quite a lot