Blue velvet

Well, yellow isn't noticeably the colour any longer - not on the the nearby trees at least. A mighty gust just sent a blizzard of their leaves into the air! I don't think I've ever seen quite such a dense cloud of them before, and give thanks I was looking out of the window at the appropriate moment, and for it still being light enough to see...

Although I didn't spend much money yesterday I spent large chunks of the night paying various physical prices for my exertions so I give thanks for taking things very easy today. One particular pain is not shopping related nor, as far as I can tell, related to any ongoing health issues and as it has been going on for about 10 days now  I give thanks I've managed to book a telephone consultation with one of the GPS to see if she can shed some light and maybe make it go away. I give thanks though I've been very uncomfortable I still feel very well all things considered...

I give thanks for 'discovering' instant microwave puddings a while back. OK, they're not really instant - from getting up on your feet to follow your fancy for something hot and sweet to licking your plate might be about 10 mins but that's pretty good! The texture is more rubbery than the cake baked sort but they're so simple to put together and cook so quickly you can practically do it while you make an accompanying cuppa so who's complaining? Usual renal rules apply to me so I can't have coffee, chocolate, nuts or dried fruit but rose petal jam on the bottom/top, with a little lemon zest in the batter was very nice indeed.

I give thanks for the gorgeous fabric of the 'new' tunic I won on eBay. No, it isn't blue velvet but I don't know any songs about black, orange, red and green velvet do you?

Yellow is the colour

I was really looking forward to Rachel coming last night...partly because a few minutes before I'd finished her jumper (which we were both extremely grateful for!) and partly because I felt very much in need of treatment for my various ills and woes. Before she arrived, while finishing off dinner I kept telling myself not to whinge and whine when she did. but luckily she's been feeling the effects of encroaching winter too so we were able to swap funny stories and hints and tips and ended up laughing instead.

I give thanks for Mr Tesco helping me make a lovely meal* The freezer is almost empty now except for bread and milk. Do I give up assuming I'm gong to move and stock is up with more food? Oh decisions, decisions...

I give thanks for feeling reasonably functional again today and for deciding to get some odds and ends in the city - taking in the pretty wooded bus ride views of without a hospital appointment looming makes a nice change but I was hunting high and low for my mp3 player. During the search I found a favourite scrunchie I thought I'd lost which pleased me greatly... and then the missing item in the little pouch I'd put it in on my trip with Jan...along with some stashed cash I'd forgotten. Nice one! I give thanks for Bob sending me his Christmas list so I could put this money to good use...

I give thanks for my knees being amenable to much trudging around, pricing and appraising various things...and for discovering in my travels that some of the shops I used to go to when I lived nearby are still there. For a mahoosive slice of carrot cake from Waterstones to keep me going...and a £1 hat to keep my hair on when the wind started blowing. For getting home before it was completely dark, and before I got too wet.

*and that there's some leftover for today as I've been out for hours and am way past wanting to chop and cook

I've got my love to keep me warm

I give thanks for the milder weather. I function much better when I'm not tense and hunched up with cold and stiffly bundled into layer upon layer of clothing. It also helps with aching joints and tendons - always a bonus!

I give thanks for sleeping a little better... For a cushion between my knees helping with back pain though with my other arrangements it's a rather complicated manœuvre turning over in bed...

I give thanks for wrestling a delayed prescription from the surgery earlier. Just got to steel myself for the evil courier now...

I give thanks for Waitrose doing the sensible thing at last and giving me some vouchers for money off a ten pound spend instead of thirty, forty or more which I'd struggle to use as there's not that much I like to get from there let alone carry up the stairs. For my knees only grumbling quietly when I brought up what I'd bought today.

I give thanks the little skirt I made from some psychedelic 60s patterned needlecord last year still fits. It's one of my favourite garments ever...

The letter

There are a couple of nights a year when, even if I can't face going down and up them to join in the fun, I give thanks for the hill and stairs here because I get glimpses of fireworks anyway. I give thanks yesterday evening I saw some good ones, even some of the ones in the main town display which rose high enough over the trees and that cheered me up a bit.

It's the start of the sad season for me when I'm not only affected by lack of light but of warmth and mobility and of social exchanges that don't involve hearing about what other people are doing and wishing I could too! I give thanks I should be used to it by now, and for understanding it probably feels worse than usual because I've invested so much money and effort in the possibility of change for the better and everything is still the same.

I give thanks for making myself get up and get on with a few things despite lack of energy and enthusiasm after a troubled night...and for some good dreams in the bits when I was asleep! For some household chores done, and printing, filling in a posting a self referral form for someone to look at my poorly toenails on the NHS please, though I suspect they might say no you have to pay! I give thanks for my poorly joints being a little less sore except for on the stairs, and my poorly chest being a little less tight.

I give thanks for the misty murky weather softening the autumn colours, and for remembering this song I've loved for more than half a century... The lead singer was 16 when those vocals were recorded - they don't make boy bands like that any more!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQaUs5J2wdI

Eye of the tiger

I give thanks they don't make Tiger Balm from real tigers as I've become rather dependent on the effect of its soothing vapours on my congested chest! I give thanks I sleep alone and can slather myself with this in the wee small hours when I'm awake and uncomfortable, as well as have the light on and get up for Roobosch tea and a snack. Though of course I guess if I slept with the right person they might get up and bring refreshments to me.. Haha, what a lovely thought, dream on! I give thanks there are folks for whom this kind of thing is a reality though, who have people who help them look after themselves not as a job but because they think they're worth it. Long may it continue for them...

I give thanks my unplanned wakefulness meant I could put a sly bid on to win a top that caught my eye in Ebay! I hope I like it in the flesh, or fabric maybe that should be. Luckily I'm usually lucky in shopping but errors of judgement do slip in now and then...

I give thanks for my first email from my longstanding penpal on Florida's Death Row. The JPay system said it was from 'my loved one' which is pushing it a bit but I love that after years of wrangling with the authorities the prisoners can communucate with friends and family without paper, postage stamps and a long, long wait!

It's been a dark day here so I'm grateful I went out yesterday. I'm sure my chest will be grateful if I don't go out on a chilly damp evening to see a bonny bonfire and firework display, just need to persuade my mind and heart... There's a new series of Beck starting, that might help!

Ring my bell

My goodness me I give thanks for gong baths! Apart from anything else it's something I would do even if I were well and that's spectacularly special when bodily malfunction dictates much of what you do... or don't do... I give thanks it's also a place I feel safe and comfortable and warm, see faces old and new, hear wonderful sounds and feel the effect of their waves travelling through my body which can be very soothing to aches and pains and helped my knees a lot. I give thanks for much jollity with Sally and Hannah while packing up and coming home.

I give thanks for the snugness of my bed after yesterday's efforts, and for a bright mild day tempting me out of it. For my charity shop coat, and hat, and scarf and dress! For still no flat sale news as it means another day living in this delightfully friendly place. For finishing shopping and chatting in time to get to the cab rank before the cars all disappeared to pick up children... For having some leftover products of yesterday's cooking fest as I've pretty much run out of energy for anything but eating now...

Get ready for this

I had a call from one of the kidney homecare team last night, making sure I knew who to call (not Ghostbusters!) when I start to feel ill. I've encountered this lady before and she belongs to what I (privately) call the Angel of Death school of medical practice, determined to instill fear and reliance in her patients. She's been telling me for several years I must accept my fate and will start to need her intervention very soon, so I gave thanks I could say 'Not today, thank you' once again...

Last night I was very tired, and not keen to get moving today so I was beginning to think, yeah this is the beginning of the end...but after a soothing soak in the bath and a rub down with Tiger Balm I was grateful to find myself in the kitchen making pasta for lunch, and curry for tea, whilst dashing back and forward to the bedroom to get a bit more ready for the seasonal changes which have come on a little suddenly and caught me unawares. I give thanks since then I've been up the ladder to get the electric blanket and autumn duvet down, stripped the bed and turned the mattress (oof, that's hard work!) before grovelling on the floor underneath to sort out an extension lead. Eat lunch, remake bed, rustle up a pear and ginger crumble for afternoon delight, wash up, sit down, hand jive to 2 Unlimited and realise, nah, I'm fine...I just do a lot of stuff and get a bit exhausted now and then. I give thanks medical science can bog off a little longer!

Tonight I plan to go and get gonged so I give thanks for a quiet period before I start layering up for the dark and cold. I give thanks for another layer of Tiger Balm on my sore bits. I may pong a bit but no one near me should suffer from nasal congestion after the session! Decided to watch a programme about what goes on behind the scenes in hospitals and the hospital they started with was the one I attend! Absolutely fascinating to see backstage everywhere from microbiology to the laundry to Rose Cottage!