Delivered

Oof! I give thanks for beginning to feel a little better by evening after another rough tough day. I was certainly grateful for not having to go to go to any hospital for any treatment, and delighted when I began to show an interest performing a few non essential actions an hour or so ago.

For all the restorative rest I've managed to fit in around grocery deliveries from Tani, Sainsbury's and Mima - which were very welcome but rather exhausting too. For now having an extensive range of favoured foods in the cupboards, fridge and freezer which is ideal when you don't feel like eating much and need to be tempted easily. Particularly popular are the ones that need no preparation homemade cake (thanks Mima!) and some lush Kalamata olives and probably the best cottage cheese ever.

I give thanks for the combination of extreme fatigue and evilly painful knees meaning little regret at not being out in the bright sunshiney weather. For it warming my home to keep the leccy bill down anyway...and growing the mini plants on my window sill. I give thanks for snipping the first tasty sprigs to add to my supper today. It's been many years since I've eaten anything I have grown and I am inordinately pleased and proud!

Merciful

I give thanks for being where I feel I should have been for a lot longer than I have! For my sofa and snuggly quilt, a mug of Earl Grey and a slice of buttered granary toast. For those precious Paracetamol capsules being back in stock on the supermarket shelves, and for the supermarkets having more delivery slots so I can have them available here.

The downsides of having immunotherapy yesterday started with getting having to get up and get going ready for dialysis this morning, which seemed like a cruel and unjust punishment being so sore and out of sorts. I gave thanks for waking up early enough to take the processes very slowly...and for somehow, with much moaning and groaning, making it through a very uncomfortable afternoon. For repeatedly thinking it's Friday, as surely three treatments a week is enough, and forgetting there's another one to come can only be a mercy! For five much appreciated minutes soaking up some pain and stress soothing sunshine before the taxi came. For leftovers for tea, for the bath water heating up...

Easterly

So a very pleasant side effect of an extra hospital visit today was I got an extra 'How good to be home!' feeling afterwards. I was particularly grateful to arrive at that point of the turning tide when incoming waves on an easterly wind crash into ones bouncing back from the sea wall - it's always mesmerising! For the blessing of being able to watch safe and snug indoors. For thinking to order some cards from my favourite local artist the other day and this image from a similar day being among them...

I give thanks for the different journey, destination, people and procedures - though a cab driver I knew was a bonus! For being able to wear my normal clothes instead of dialysis friendly ones which made it feel almost like an 'outing'. For the cannula going in easily on the second attempt and the nice nurse who dealt with me. For thinking to take a book as my right hand can cope much better than my left when left to its own devices and, despite the welcome relative brevity of the treatment, there is still some time to while away.

For the pretty sky at sundown yesterday, dappled clouds in graduated pink, and for having that daal I made on Sunday ready to be heated for my tea.

Covered

I give thanks the masks we renal patients wear during travel, treatment (and the waiting in between) not only offer some two way resistance to bugs, but also conceal any grimacing, gritting or grinding of teeth that may ensue during the process! For them also muffling snores and stopping unseemly displays of food and fillings during the naps we tend to have...

I give thanks, though lying back with my eyes closed, I hadn't managed to settle in to one of those when the machine started repeatedly sounding its extremely intrusive alarm. And I'm grateful it wasn't anything life threatening setting it off as the poor staff were having a very trying afternoon and took what seemed like ages to respond.

I give thanks for some busyness since I've been home. For finally putting up the Buddha hanging I bought not long after I moved in but kept hidden away from the decorating messiness...and then had to decide where I'd like it to be and how to make it stay there. I give thanks it's up at last despite several hiccups and trips up and down the ladder on the way...and for keeping reminding myself not to be too attached to the idea of attaching it to the wall!

Content

So yesterday I was giving thanks for all that I'd done...and today I've been grateful for all I haven't! For taking it easy like Sunday morning well into the afternoon, and for now as the evening is progressing for considering various tasks I might still undertake and thinking Nah, I can't be bothered! For appreciating what a blessing it is to be able to go peaceably with the flow - at least some of the time anyway!

I give thanks for realising The State of Happiness on BBC4 wasn't a documentary (though it would probably have been interesting if so!) but a new drama series set in mostly in Norway in 1969. Oh the clothes and buildings and cars and music! Storyline seems quite good too 😀 For the delicious pie I ate whole watching it. The pastry was bought ready made but the filling was all my own unusually successful work!

I give thanks for making Tuesday's tea. It's a curry and they're always better for keeping, plus it will be an extra hospital day this time to avoid trying to do a two treatment Friday while I'm in the wrong part of the county. They're hard enough to sort out when I'm simply in different parts of the same site so I'm looking forward to avoiding that side of the stress and hassle anyway.

I give thanks for living here every day but it dawned on me recently how extra grateful I am not to be in lockdown where I lived before. And even more so that I'm not in the temporary accommodation I had in between!

Fabulous

Some days all my sicknesses seem to gang up on me...but once in a very occasional while they all give me a break at the same time! I give thanks today was such a day and it's been fab! For waking up early but feeling rested, relaxed and well. For knitting and sewing and painting and varnishing and working on a design. For doing some laundry and making some food and some phone calls. For vacuuming, lounging in the bath reading a book, tinkering with few jig saw pieces and playing a pointless game on my phone....and for still having time and energy for a brisk(ish) walk up a nearby steep lane with some rather luxurious homes and vegetation. I'd never been up that before so for a short while even my yearning for discovery and adventure were satisfied! Times like these for me are not only rare, but also impossible to forecast and plan for, so I give thanks for also feeling I really have made the most of a sudden extra special blessing.

Checked

I give thanks for the people who have checked up on me over the last few days - my much missed home help, my almost as much missed decorator, the renal dietician and consultant. I was relieved the last two are pleased with my blood results despite the sharp intake of breath and lecture from the little Hitler in a blue uniform who delivered them to me a couple of weeks ago! I was even more delighted the consultant confirmed she had no plans to keep me in exile once it's considered safe for me to return. Hard situations are so much easier to bear if you believe they won't last too long...

I give thanks for the Council also calling to see why I'd turned a food parcel away if I was vulnerable and shielding. I really didn't want to seem ungrateful so it was good to explain the dietary reasons why the assistance they were offering wasn't personally nutritionally helpful.

Meanwhile I give thanks online supermarket shopping is getting a little easier, and for remembering to start checking out a grocery delivery slot for after the next one that's scheduled for next week. I'm still not used to the amount of stuff I need now I'm not top up shopping in between! Tesco didn't have one for the right day/time when I looked this morning and it was exasperating when some good ones became available while I was having treatment and couldn't book...so I was extremely grateful there was still a suitable one left when I got home and I've been able to fill a basket and check out!