Fairy

Oops! I think I might have used up energy and enthusiasm yesterday I should have saved for today... Oh well, fair enough I guess! I give thanks for muddling through in my stupor.

For a line of smartly sparkling scooters parked outside this morning, one with a particularly impressive collection of mirrors.

For finding a sunny sandy spot to meet Mima for a short while, and for a short nap on my return. For some strawberries she bought for me yesterday for my afternoon tea.

I give thanks for the lost book suddenly turning up again on the shelf. I'm often away with the fairies - why shouldn't my possessions be?

Appropriate

Yay, it's Saturday! There was lots of gratitude for waking up and realising it was...

For having a bit of energy and, by taking things steadily, for getting a fair bit done. On the bucket list today was cleaning the floors with my new mop - which I was grateful seemed most pleasing as regards both use and results. Yes, I probably should get out more...see below!

I give thanks for being comfortably warm...but for also trying to have compassion for those who think it's too hot. I guess it must be as horrid in its own way as being too cold, but I'm also grateful there seem to have been less people around today, and if the temperature is the reason that's fine by me! I've realised that if I want to be outside but away from people, as I can't reach the countryside or remote cliff tops I'd prefer, residential streets are almost totally deserted on a sunny seaside Saturday so I can safely stretch my legs, plus  occasionally get to smell a garden rose. For making it all the way to the appropriate bank for my Oatly cartons which the bin men don't collect...and making a sort of ice cream with their whipped up custard, plus cream and vanilla. The consistency needs work but the flavour is great, and as it's kidney friendly I'm happy to try again and again! 

For a very enjoyable distant chat with Clive. For remodelling an old blouse while watching Reduce, Reuse and Recycle week on Sewing Bee. For feeling being tired this evening is appropriate and just.

Specialist

I give thanks for the new permission to meet up to six people in your garden as long as you stay two metres apart. Another example of MPs being a breed apart? I give thanks I don't have to fret about the inadequate size of my outdoor space or social circle, as the rule for the extremely vulnerable is still to stay indoors alone for the forseeable future. I guess they hope we will expire from our vulnerabilities so they don't have to work out a plan for us to return to any kind of life, as the more the healthier are allowed out and about to mingle, the more at risk we are if we join them. Ah well, I give thanks for my thrice weekly dialysis outings - well some of the time anyway! For the lushness of the greenery by the roadsides still, and the rippling crop tops blowing in the breeze. For reasonable taxi drivers...

For our afternoon cup of tea arriving...eventually...though I had to politely request mine be delivered before I left the unit! The lovely 'housekeeper' who usually wheels the trolley round has not been available this week and though we are all grateful a member of the nursing team will step into the role, they are less adept and speedy and often delayed by other tasks of course. Unfortunately it's not just a case of fancying refreshments, as their equivalent fluid content is extracted from your blood in advance so patients can feel quite literally dry if this doesn't get topped up.  

I give thanks though there's no scenic view from the side rooms there's sometimes other interesting stuff to look at - this afternoon it was the staff taking each other's blood for antibody testing. The most popular extractor was the ex practice nurse due to take me off the machine, which meant a chap I'm rather fond of for his intelligence and humour did it instead. During the course of an unusually lengthy chat ( I wouldn't stop bleeding) we discovered we'd both been under the care of the same specialist (urological cancer) nurse, and were both particularly enamoured of a certain stretch of nearby coast path. I give thanks for the thought of him walking his dog along it at the weekend. I'm sure he'll find it very therapeutic.

I give thanks it's the weekend! For having lots of quite appealing indoors things to do...plus a selection of books, Netflix and recorded TV to (I hope) help me forget about that footpath...

Peaceful

I always give thanks when I'm having a bad night if there's a day off in the morning...and this morning, rather late, I also gave thanks for how surprisingly bright and active I was. For a nice dream about going out for breakfast with friends at an aerodrome though I woke up hungry before the eating part... For the feeling I might make some significant progress in some of my endeavours, which proved to be premature as my liveliness was short lived but which was enjoyable while it lasted! 

I give thanks for being mostly OK with a flaked out afternoon, particularly while actually sleeping (rather than thinking that I should not!) as for a while I couldn't hear the rattle and thump of whatever the sea wall builders were up to throughout the day - demolishing part of the old one I think... Whatever it is it seems to have been unaffected by the tides and I was beginning to worry they'd go on all night so I give thanks for the peacefulness now they've stopped...even if only for their tea! 

Soulful

I give thanks a good day off can make the dialysis day that follows seem to shrink in length and arduousness. Today I was tired, so grateful for the nap and my joints were pleased about the amount of sitting still as well!

I give thanks for a room with intermittent internet access this afternoon...which would be annoying except compared to the many with none at all it seems rather luxurious. For thus finding an email from Wilko who have, at the second time of asking, agreed to replace the cushion pad they sent me for one without a muddy boot print on it. For also seeing an article about this documentary on tonight about a young man in care who finds his home in Northern Soul 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000jk57 

Maybe it will help delay watching the final episode of State of Happiness...I so want to find out what happens to the characters but hate the thought of the pleasure it has given me coming to an end.

I give thanks for Bless popping in to say hello and commiserate at our exile from Exeter...For making my best ever leftover salmon and broccoli quiche last night. To be honest it was the only one I've ever made and I feel there's room for improvement, but still looking forward to second helpings soon for my supper. For the peace and comfort of being home...and the beauty of the early evening light on the sea.

Controlled

I give thanks for hearing the hoots of owls last night. A rarity since I moved and such a treat as it is a sound that always makes me smile as I lie in the darkness. For Adam Kay's book making me laugh out loud with his dark observational humour. Maybe these helped me be in a better mood today though I suspect the pain relief pill I take sometimes which also alleviates the mental sort probably had something to do with it...

For feeling physically stronger and managing a bit of a walk. I'm trying to improve my fitness levels in case my cancer can be kept under control long enough to enjoy some kind of life when the pandemic is. Exercise is meant to be good for all the illnesses I have and vitamin D from the sunshine (plus the pleasure of being out in it!) boosts the immune system too so I'm hoping I'm helping to reach this goal! It also means a chance to explore the locality a little. As the main reason I moved here was that the place was so easy to get away from I've not really done that much before...

For remembering how privileged I am to live in a country where there is access to health care, and how lucky to still be around to receive it. I heard of the deaths of two people I knew slightly yesterday - neither coronavirus related at all. One was a long term dialysis patient, the other with cancer only diagnosed a few months ago, so sobering for me as well as sad...

I give thanks for a pretty good bit of pattern matching/top stitching on this pocket. Would get a nod from Patrick and Esme I'm sure!

Dimensional

I give thanks at the start of incarceration, after hearing about a book I fancied reading, I found a copy second hand on eBay and bought it. It was about probability maths and what we call coincidence...and coincidentally, just when I'd finished my bath time QI book and gone to the bookshelf to collect it, it disappeared into another dimension. What are the chances of that eh? I give thanks for picking up and enjoying This Is Going to Hurt instead.

I give thanks for a beautiful early summer's day and seeing people enjoying it in various ways from my windows at home and on the way to and from the unit. Neither my body nor my mind are comfortable at the moment and enjoyment for me seems to be currently out the window, so I give thanks for my commitment to trying to find some gratitude here and there. For all the families wandering around together, including the ones covered in feathers. For a neighbour in the flats here having visitors because it must be nice to feel that it doesn't matter. For having food to eat and pain killers to take and plenty of distractions from my discomforts close at hand.