Mellow

Looking back on the day it seemed at first as if I'd done nothing as the distant past of it was a morning spent mostly amiably idle with a book being very grateful to be 'allowed', and not long before starting to write this an NQSD had morphed into a nap...but when I went into the kitchen to get a cuppa there was the remains of the soup that somehow had been made, the washing up done and the oven door open as I'd given the inside a scrub, and I had to scuffle through papers on the floor on the way to be recycled from sorting out a drawer...and my shoes were in the hall from coming back from a brisk walk around a rather scenic block...and I thought actually no, today's been rather busy, just in a pleasantly mellow way!

I give thanks for the sounds of the heavy rain showers pattering on the roof tiles just above my bed beneath the eaves. For having the wherewithal to close the Windows in my life and try out a Chromebook instead. For winning the usual battle of wills with my ancient printer, in this case to scan my Will in case it refuses to have anything to do with the new piece of kit at all! For closing my laptop - which no longer comes with sound - and finding another device on which to play today's can't sit still to tune - Canned Heat's Let's Work Together. I'd be interested to know (if anyone is interested to tell me) what you would choose for seven days of dancing tunes...

Alight

I give thanks for hearing (unofficially) I am still on the treatment list at my 'home' unit and maybe...if the loonies don't set us all back to square one...some time in August I may return! For a little mutual exchange of moans with the nurse who told me, who is also keen to go back. For her getting the needles in just right this time.

For a fascinating Timeshift documentary on the history of the landline to help the afternoon pass, and a very generous portion of biscuits to go with my cup of tea! For glowing pink shades of hydrangea bushes by the roadside. For some new coloured pots for my fast growing houseplants.

For reaching week 4 of the interesting and rewarding Science of Wellbeing course. So far the homework has been pretty easy for me (even talking to more people!) but this time we have to commit to a certain  amount of sleep and exercise for seven days. The former I really can't control much more than I do, and I have to take what I can get. Last night this wasn't much, but I was very grateful for the dream about George Harrison! I know for sure I won't be able to do the suggested thirty minutes exercise every day either, and the course does say if there are health restrictions you don't have to, but I didn't want to completely cop out on that and have vowed to dance to one tune a day. It can be dialysis patient dancing ie. even less exuberant than dad dancing, or if necessary, sitting down and merely moving whichever body parts agree, but it will be some extra movement I wouldn't normally have. Today 'me ears are alight' ...never fails to instigate some kind of rhythmic twitching!

Ethical

I give thanks for the Good Place taking me to a better one when events from both the present and past left me feeling angry and sad. Despite the crazy story lines and often slapstick humour, the show has at its core the minefield of ethical dilemmas which hit the spot as I struggled to come up with a respectful response to someone who had disrespected my wishes and betrayed my trust.

For the sound of the rain and wind in the squally showers. For a batch of cooking, and mostly keeping the resulting mountain of washing up under control! For finishing sewing a comfy cotton mask for shopping and then wearing it to the corner shop at the end of their working day when the trippers had mostly wandered off home and I felt safe to make my first foray. For them having one carton of milk left which was just what I wanted...and for their new improved product range including non dairy milk and small packs of fruit and veg like their big sister store down the road, which wasn't what I wanted just then but which was good to see.

For some attractive and attractively priced earrings from Jan's online shop arriving. and for her being there to let me let off steam. For Christine sending some attractive photos and one being perfect for for wallpaper on my new tablet. Yes, of course I asked if it was OK, and if she'd said no I wouldn't have. I'm grateful this would seem to be the way to behave to me, if not to other people!

Practical

Of course in theory I'm grateful for the treatments that are keeping me alive, and in practice it's not really so very hard to sit still, eat finger food, snooze and watch Netflix downloads...but that doesn't mean I don't prefer days at home doing household chores in my nightie! I give thanks there's been a lot of that today, in between a lot of resting the various parts made sore by the physicality. For the variety of tasks tackled beyond routine cleaning, including hand sewing the closure on a cushion cover and finally fitting that bit of hall carpet by the kitchen door. For the satisfaction of completing a couple of jobs that (I sincerely hope!) won't need doing all over again in a day or two...

I give thanks for also at last working out how to unblock the vacuum when the end piece seems to have been secretly superglued in place and poking with a straight object just packed the debris in tighter. The solution? Perseverance plus a piece of curtain wire!

Extra

I give thanks for the clouds. I love the sun but bigger clouds mean smaller crowds, and I'm similarly grateful for the beaches round here not having much in the way of fine white or golden sand! For reminding myself that as well as common factors of hot sun, cool beer and time on their hands, some of the miscreants, at least subconsciously, will have been made aware over the last few months that they might not live forever and will be extra keen to pack in more of the stuff they consider fun.

I give thanks due to the patient before me on the programme being elsewhere today, the unit rang to see if I'd like to come in a bit earlier. By the time they'd got hold of me and sent a car it was only an hour and a half earlier but as they were ready and waiting to start my treatment my weekend is nearer two hours longer - woohoo! For taxis each way with taciturn drivers...and the one on the way home having an 8 seater so I could enjoy the elevated views. For just enough sunshine left to finish my lunch in the park across the road watching the antics of the little hedgerow birds...and for supper being one I prepared earlier as I'm feeling rather weary this evening and am fit for little but watching Netflix and recorded TV.

Baking

I give thanks for summer! There's much to enjoy in all weathers and seasons but in summer I sometimes get warm enough to relax! For the convenient location of my flat - one road to cross to get to the park and one to get to the sea...

For the smell of fresh cut grass and for stopping to chat with Michelle who had collected my Poppadoms order. She walked past me the first time talking on her phone and I thought it might be her but wasn't sure...then later she came back having thought the same! We've only met once and that was a few months ago...

For their delicious cottage cheese (no it's not an oxymoron) on ryvita for my lunch with fresh picked baby leaves from my mini garden on top...and, as it was a tad on the warm side even for me and I'd had a busy start, for a little siesta to follow.

For ready made pastry...and for the recent discovery, when remoulding scraps, that if you roll it out between greaseproof paper you don't get stickiness and flour everywhere.

Abnormal

I give thanks for Julie volunteering to come and do some top of the ladder jobs in the spare room today. I'd done some reorganising in there to make room for her to put the ladder up, piling up boxes and bags, so I wasn't too surprised when I heard a strange slithery noise from that direction while I was in the kitchen and thought the heap had fallen down. When the next sound was a tentative voice calling hello? I don't know which of us were more surprised...it wasn't a falling bin bag but one full of rubbish just inside the front door being pushed along as she opened it. She'd not thought to tell me she had the day off, and as I thought she would be coming after work as usual I'd not thought to tell her what time I'd be leaving.  I was grateful to see her though and for a posy of roses she'd bought me on the way!

I give thanks for my local health food store putting together an order for me, and for my home help who can't help me at home helpfully saying she'd collect it...when we can work out which of their two sets of published opening hours are true! For Jo and Keith dropping off a bag of Co op favourites too yesterday. Mmmm, extra creamy coleslaw for my tea and their Fair Trade chamomile before bed...

It's been a day of confusion with times...the nurse had trouble working out when my treatment should finish and couldn't hear my calculations through my new extra thick mask (now altered to fit better) mask...and I was so busy concentrating on the minutes I didn't realise they had me down for an extra hour! For managing to get that sorted just in time for the correct finish, but when they changed my transport time the car came straight away instead of in twenty minutes as expected. I give thanks due to my haemoglobin level being unusually high lately (ie normal for a normal person not just acceptable renal level) my blood clotted quickly and I was all ready to head out the door...when I had to explain for the umpteemth time to another nurse why I was weighing more leaving than arriving. Although they would too if they had lunch and tea and biscuits in between getting on the scales they cannot grasp that someone needing dialysis doesn't need a couple of kilos of fluid removing every time. To be fair that's another way in which I'm not normal....

I give thanks for remembering The Man With Two Brains!