Carry on regardless

I give thanks for a nap this afternoon..for remembering sometimes when I feel I can't carry on, it's actually OK to stop.

I give thanks for remembering there actually is no one to impress, please, pacify... I've heard if you've had the kind of upbringing where you feel you can't, it can be so difficult to stop trying you seek out other people to succeed at failing for as well... and I give thanks I understand the psychology of this even though I regularly forget and judge myself now there's no one else around to do it.

I give thanks for Rachel arriving after I'd written the above and having similar thoughts about achievement anxiety on her mind. For her bringing a delicious banquet of cold nibbly dishes - hummus, rice salad etc - and for getting on and eating it so I could be treated before choir.

I give thanks for going to choir. We're still working with the vocal coach and it's still awesome in the proper sense of the word. Today we were shown sound alchemy the like of which none of us had quite experienced before - groups of three standing together singing the same phrase and then sounding completely different when they changed places. It's all to do with the particular frequency of individual voices and your own even sounds different when you do it!

I give thanks for experiencing the delight when it's right both as participant and audience and for realising it's a metaphor for life...you've got to be next to the right people...though the right people depend on what you're trying to do right I suppose.

I give thanks for Gary's kind thoughts about the things I cant think about... and Rachel's thoughtfulness leaving me leftovers in the fridge to make a nice surprise to come home to..