Friday, 6 July 2012

Is everything as it seems?

I give thanks today that I live alone and can grunt and groan at my aches and pains as much as I like without anyone feeling either I'm being annoying or that they ought to offer to help with the chores. Obviously, if someone was here and wanted to help that would be wonderful but this is supposed to be a record of what I'm thankful for not what I wish I had!

I give thanks for those presumably unconscious puns that slip into the head of the reader... For instance I just saw that Arthur Engel who runs Bjorn Borg's underwear company has a list of corporate values... number one is 'we have to be transparent in everything we do...' and a recent article on regarding water companies had a light sprinkling (that was me and intentional) including concern 'going off the boil' between drought and flood crises and that the government had 'washed its hands' of tackling vested interests.

Also I give thanks for the unexpected shafts of inspirational light that sometimes come your way. I was leafing through the Exeter Express and Echo while drinking my tea and the Force centre yesterday (Mmmm...pause to savour the delight in someone making me a cup of tea!)...when I found a column that mentioned a quote that I've since looked up the author of...but never mind about that just now... it was 'We are not human beings having a spiritual experience we are spiritual beings having a human experience'. I LOVE this and I don't care tuppence that both my religious friends and my 'realist' ones will be shaking their heads at the error of my ways. I have a Cheshire cat smile of my own every time I think of it...

I'm grateful to Debbie from Cancer Research for being grateful to me for the bladder cancer material reviewing.

That this paint, which looked and sounded like dark creamy colour in the brochure/on the tin, did not still match the match box when it was stirred!

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Don't knock it

First thanks of the day was for waking up before my alarm...don't mind setting it when it's important I'm up and about by a certain time but it's still nicer if it's not the first thing you hear in the morning.

Second was that my knees didn't hurt too badly after yesterday's exertions as I knew they'd have a hammering today. Well, not literally...it's the neurologist who hammers my knees and it was the stoma nurse I saw today...boom, boom! Sometimes I get a bit fed up that necessities take up all my going out energy but then I look around the wonderful area I live in and give thanks that even a trip to the hospital and back is a scenic treat. Particularly pleasing today was coming home on the top deck of the bus with low cloud still hugging the hill tops but sun breaking through in the sweep of the bay, sparkling on the ribbons of foam here and there on the wave tops.

I give thanks for the random things that catch my eye... little everyday miracles and marvels. A small child's delighted smile as they sucked a drink through a straw...a man painting the top of a high retaining garden wall leaning over from within, whilst on the pavement below, seated on a little stool, a woman painted the bottom...a bed of mesembryanthemums so close packed with blooms it was hard to believe they were real.

I give thanks for stoma nurse Mark's reassurance and confidence building. He was the one who attended to me in hospital and is amazingly patient and kind. For a cuppa at the Force centre afterwards and a few minutes of Robert's time, plus their brilliant idea of a basket of yarn and needles to encourage you to knit a few rows of some squares. For a few interesting balls of wool for my collection from Fran's mum's shop and some 'posh' sausages and chunky sliced bread from the Co op by the bus station for sporting Sunday sarnies. For a refreshing nap on the way home and for being so tired and achey now I could almost have been on a big boot hike. I don't particularly like being tired and achey, you understand, but I am grateful for at least being able to recapture the aftermath!

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

What's afoot?

Hmmm...so let's see, what have I been grateful for since my last post?

Little cress size punnets of sprouted peas and radishes delivered to my flat by Tesco. Nutricious, delicious and sensible size portions for a single person's fridge. Of course I could grow my own and I'm thinking I might just do that when I work out where in the my flat the indoor garden could be...

Laugh out loud passages in the book I'm reading. Whoever that Julian is, he is very droll...

Lovely snuggly warm wet baths!

The mild weather...even the rain has been 'soft'

Having a spare carrier bag to sit on so that when it stopped I could have a take away cup of tea by the sea

A jolly time on the doctor's waiting room talking with staff and patients about how people don't talk to each other...

A great reflexology session. I had a yen for an alternative alternative therapy and booked this for today...and then due to my appointment at the hospital, it would have been hard to get to acupuncture tomorrow so was especially glad I did.

Janet's instructions to get plenty of rest afterwards...there's tennis in TV and some new knitting yarn arrived to play with...how could I do anything else!

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Letter to Julian

Dear Julian Clary,

I've been trying to think of a way to start this letter that isn't 'I hope you don't mind me writing to you’, but I hope you don't so it will have to do. I'm writing because I’m hoping maybe you or someone in your family could shed some light on something that’s been puzzling me since you first walked on to my TV screen on Friday Night Live rather a lot of years ago.

It concerns a memory from 1969/70 when I was 11 or 12 and living in the ground floor flat of a big double fronted house on Avenue Elmers, Surbiton. My mother, Margaret, and I hadn’t been there very long but my father George Minnis had stayed in digs in the area during term time for several years as he was a lecturer at Kingston College/Poly. One day we had a visit from a family I’d hear of from time to time that I remember as being called Cleary. They had a daughter just a bit older than me and she shared my given (but no longer used) first name Beverley, and there was another older daughter and a boy slightly younger than me called Julian.

We had some kind of meal together and then the grown-ups retired to the lounge area which could be separated from the dining room by curtains pulled across a large oblong ‘arch’. My mother was always joking to visitors that we should put plays on using these curtains to make a stage, and we four children decided to do just that. I don't remember the details but I remember much laughter and particular delight in the costume and make up side of things from Julian. He was definitely the ‘star of the show’...but cute and funny enough to manage it without being obnoxious and, though it's mostly a vague but pleasant childhood memory, one bit is clear... sometime after the show was over and the rest of us were on the audience side of the curtains talking or whatever, Julian stuck his head through the gap holding them shut underneath so that his face was floating Cheshire cat like and when we saw him we all burst out laughing. That image became a snapshot in my memory the way things sometimes do...but filed away and forgotten until...

...someone the spitting image of that lad started appearing as the Joan Collins Fan Club. When I first heard your real name I thought I must have misheard it, or maybe you’d changed the spelling for some reason. And then I heard your father was a policeman and I couldn’t see how my dad, who didn’t drive, would have got to know a traffic cop so tried to dismiss it as a bizarre coincidence. Recently I’ve been reading your autobiography however and I realise you are indeed a little younger than me, with a sister Beverley a little older, and another sister older than that, and that you lived not far away in Teddington during the time in question after having lived in Surbiton before.

I think it's fair to assume there must be at least half a dozen camp and theatrical 11 year old Julians on the Surrey/Middlesex border at any one time...but the Cleary/Clary/Beverley thing and your remarkable resemblance to the Cheshire cat boy... Can you tell me could it possibly have been you or was there a doppelganger family down the road and does this happen all the time? My own parents have been dead for many years so there's no one else I can ask for ‘clarification’.

With best wishes anyway...whoever ever you are!

Mixed media

Well, I went to sleep with one pain and woke with another so my first gratitude of the day was for variety! It's always good to try an alternative perspective... I also give thanks that when I've had a bad night I can sleep late and slow start the day...

When I'm having my morning cuppa I check to see if I've had any messages since I went to bed (pretty much never!) and then I look at the BBC website for inspiration. Not in the news section of course...that would be silly...but in the 'magazines' and pictures and random reports. There's usually something to amaze and delight. How about this for example? A ship that flips...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-18684075

I give thanks that Carol may be what they are looking for in the TV programme I mentioned before. Well, in some ways not as it's about dying of course, but I think she might enjoy a bit more of a chance to have her say. I like the premise of the programme anyway to break the last taboo. I also like the fact that they are considering including someone not 'normal'. I mean this as a great compliment to you Carol, as I'm sure (I hope) you realise! Now as she was writing her latest blog post she had a call from the woman she had been dealing with (the lovely Nas I wonder?) and while I was writing this paragraph I've had an email from someone at Positive News asking if I'd like to write a piece... You remember I approached them some weeks ago saying I can't prove I have any journalistic skills but look...I can write positive news: look at my blog. So the piece is to be about the experience of keeping a gratitude diary and how it has affected me and others. You have anything you think I ought to say? I'll come and interview you if you like and you can give me your opinions, ha ha! Carol and I will be sending out signed photos soon I'm sure!

I'm grateful that I've finished my Green and Black's butterscotch bar as it's been pestering me mercilessly since it arrived yesterday...

...that it looks as if there will be mainly only play on Centre today as it makes it easier to watch matches if they are on one by one!

...and that I've finally written to Julian. I'll attach a copy so you understand... Coincidently, whilst tidying up this morning I came across a poem I had printed in the 'young' Observer at just that time.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Catatonic

I give thanks for...

Cherries

Cherry coloured cat with rose coloured paws

Sea roar

White gulls against a dark grey sky

BBC programme about 'super smart' animals. Don't let the title put you off...I caught the end of it while channel hopping and was so impressed I went back for more...

That a Professor Lean is designing nutritional pizzas...

Julian Clary writing in his autobiography of a somnolent pet cat who 'died of kidney failure eventually, probably brought on by lack of use'. Descending into a zombie phase again I can relate to that! There'll be more on Mr Clary later...

I'm also grateful I've finished my reviewing for Cancer Research. I found it harder than I thought I would. They suggested that people who had early cancer might not like to read about the advanced sort for instance but for me it was reading about the initial stages - diagnosis and early treatment - that caused some post traumatic stress. Most of you reading this didn't know me then but I went through some horrendous things, mostly due to insensitive or inattentive staff and there were a few times when it seemed as if fighting the cancer was the least of my worries! I have been careful not to bring my unique and potentially terrifying baggage into the review but some of it had to be unpacked anyway if you know what I mean...

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Drop out

Well you know I was feeling a bit sorry for myself yesterday afternoon. I wanted to go out somewhere but lacked energy or an amenable chauffeur. But then I finished a late lunch and made a cuppa, and thought 'I'll just get comfy on these cushions and watch some tennis...' and the next thing I knew it was an hour later. Even though I got up and made fresh tea to replace the cold one I couldn't really wake up and get going again and stayed dozy the remainder of the day. So I'm grateful I couldn't go out as I clearly needed some rest...

I enjoyed some more snatches of air borne live music and gave thanks for all the good gigs I've attended over the years and the regular entertainment there is here... There was a punky set in the early evening when we had a short sharp shower, and a glowing rainbow actually got me upright to take a snap as although I could see it from the sofa my camera couldn't!


I yawned my way through more matches and a little half hearted craft work giving thanks that there was nothing else I needed to do, not even be company, though I did feel having some might have done me good it was a selfish wish in the state I was in. I gave thanks for the Centre Court roof and the excellent timing of the players in bringing the evening match to a close...and that my afternoon nap meant I could stay with it til the end!

This morning I give thanks for church bells. I know the sound annoys some and the connotations do others but I enjoy it...both the peals or carillons or whatever they are called and a simple 'calling bell' of one bell rhythmically sounded. I like the sound of a muezzin's call too but there's not much call for that round here... Much harm to both self and others is done in the name of organised religion but the principles of all tend to be fine and I give thanks for the solace and renewal communal worship can give in individual lives. I also give thanks for the sound of a young family outside in the gardens with the child talking to 'mummy' and 'daddy'. Much harm is done in families too and I'm always grateful when I remember they can be warm and safe and whole.
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