Happiness is a warm bun...

... a fruity one with butter for breakfast! Though big pants help in the colder weather too!

I give thanks for the heat of the sun melting its way through hazy clouds above the sea earlier, and for leaving my window open a crack the better to hear the howling winds last night.

I give thanks for remembering my Metta meditation when my brain was too buzzy to sleep. I wish you all would remember to do it, especially when stressed or in pain...though you might be less so if I remember you in mine, ha ha! I do a very simple westernised version that always reminds me of the 'God bless' listing prayers some of us learn as children though there's no mention of God so its suitable for all faiths and none. It always makes me feel peaceful and warm straight away and I could that encourage you to believe these effects are physically real by showing you a picture of a brain scan apparently. Any brain scan! Research has shown (Oh, that hackneyed phrase!) readers accord more authenticity to articles accompanied by images of lit up parts of brains!

I give thanks for finding a bit of a kindred spirit in Rachel...she is the only other person I've ever met who is interested in quantum physics AND dressmaking. The only other person I've ever met who decided not to become a Buddhist nun...I mean who actually considered it and decided to take the challenge of living the world but without being totally caught up in its inconsequentialities. Sitting cross legged training the mind all day is a different sort of challenge. Well done to Mark I used to work with for currently giving it a go for 10 days on retreat though...all good thoughts to him.

Here comes the sun

It's been up for a while now, and beginning to disperse the mist. My windows were still too fogged up to see out of at first and I had to swing them open to look. The sun had not long cleared the trees in the communal gardens and the rays seemed to hit me horizontally...and surprisingly warm! I can see the little town across the river now, and the sea though still veiled and soft focussed. I am so happy I live somewhere I can experience and appreciate these wonderful things even when I can't physically be outside.

After the acupuncture, a short walk and a big meal I slept well...from about 8 pm on the sofa! And then after a shower and move to bed I slept a lot more! Less pain and didn't need to take anything for it. I think for now the antibiotics are working...great!

It's dawned on me (unintentional pun) that some of you don't know what 'metta' means...hmm, can I explain? It's the mindful practice of compassion, warmth and well being to all sentient beings. I'm not a 'proper' practicing Buddhist but it's not necessary to give it a go and practice makes perfect eh? You're supposed to direct this loving kindness in stages...to yourself, to those close to you, to those you don't know and even to those you don't like but I tend to forget the first part and have to go back and start again, ha ha! It's a good feeling anyway...highly recommended for calming the mind before sleep, in physical distress or cross with people who don't seem to practice it themselves, ha ha!

Metta's Better

Pleased to report I'm feeling more mellow again after letting off that steam. What is, is...and I've been practising my metta and feel better. I hope the people I thought less than loving thoughts about feel better too. May they be well, may they be happy, may they be at peace...

I'm grateful for less pain this afternoon and this evening so far. Could it be the change of medication? Fingers crossed, eh?

I'm grateful I got a first coat of top coat on couple of metres of woodwork I've been prepping the last couple of weeks. I'm not dextrous enough to do finishing top coat. Heck, I'm not dextrous enough to do a base coat some might say but like myself it looks better in soft light and soft focus!

I'm grateful that sun drenched heatwave hasn't hit us full on here (yet?) to make me miserable I can't enjoy it to the full but it's mild tonight and I'm revelling in the treat of having the windows open in the evening and being able to sniff the smells of darkness...

I'm grateful I bought some chocolate biscuits the other day and that this day I felt like eating some!

I'm grateful that the first part of the Stephen Fry language thing was good. I've read so much stuff and written so many essays regurgitating stuff in recent years it's a pleasant change to see an interesting subject made interesting again. Loved the sign language fable play!

You know who you are!

Can't get a data connection in my bedroom today via wireless router or phone alone. Trying to remember if I built a concrete bunker round it yesterday...um...er...no, don't think so...will just have to write a draft and get up and transfer my words of wisdom later...

Kind thoughts to Jo who's having a tummy op today and Heidi who's getting a verdict on her eye problem and their worried husbands of course!

Bathed with a latex glove over my right hand last night...interesting! The cut's beginning to heal now so intend to get the fabric for my Tree of Life picture attached to the frame which I hope will inspire me to carry on and finish it. My own blood on the background would have been relevant I know but not really my artistic style...

For a while now the flesh has been weaker than the mind, but now the mind's beginning to gaze off into the distance a bit. Can lie for hours in a state of suspended animation, breathing low, eyes closed or soft focussed, hardly a thought in my head or none that registers anyway. All the times I've tried to reach that state through consciously meditating...

First heartwarming thing of the day ... lovely long email from the lovely Mr Hughes. (Names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent...he is often called lovely you know!) Much as I appreciate the kindness of the newly met and those not met at all, nothing beats communicating with someone who has known you a while with shared points of reference and memories. It's a rare treat for me these days and it really does get that oxytocin flowing!