Energy levels are funny things aren't they? You can feel like a two toed sloth with a hangover sometimes but push yourself a bit and start behaving more like a squirrel with three Weetabix inside them (more like, take note, not just like!). That was me Friday when I went out...probably why the real squirrel came up to say hello...Then sometimes you are more like a flying fox and just glide...that was me yesterday dealing with all manner of mental and physical chores and having fun whilst about it...and today well I'm more like a very old tortoise that you have to check closely for signs of life and would tip over rather than speed up if you gave it a shove so the trick is just to accept this and go with the very slow flow. But I'm a very content tortoise...Hey it's the first proper Sunday we've had for a while...it would be foolish not to take full advantage of the 'day of rest' feeling and I'm delighted I've been doing so!
I'm grateful I got my pajamas so wet when I was washing my hair and I had to put proper clothes on eventually and I'm grateful I wanted spinach and filo pie so much I actually made some with cherry tomatoes and pine nuts in too. Yum yum! I'm grateful for lots of mindless TV and for the far from mindless Sherlock. I'm loving this modern take, totally gripping and funny too! I'm grateful also for the sight of a curiously coloured sea earlier. Or rather not colored, just shades of grey with no hint of blue or green or purple or brown which is most unusual and for the almost supernatural stillness. Well it seemed so after all the winds of the last few days, and matched those energy levels perfectly!
Showing posts with label sea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sea. Show all posts
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Friday, 30 December 2011
Deep blue sea
Oh my that was good! Out to Sprey point in the mizzly drizzly rain and then back along the beach as the tide was way out. Gratitude for storm high sand although the sea was calm so that the pipes and groynes and other obstacles along the way were easier to negotiate. And for getting back to town just as the real rain started to collect pills and other essentials/non essentials including a hot drink and toasted teacake in a steamy cafe til the weather eased again...and a new top in a sale in case I'm invited anywhere for New Year's Eve. Statistically this is most unlikely but it made a good excuse, ha ha! Much gratitude for free prescriptions for cancer patients, I've hammered that certificate in the last few years. And that when I couldn't face being cooped up in a cab to get home so I forced myself back along the darkening seafront and back up the hill on foot. Beautiful colours as you can see...everything was shades of grey earlier on but my camera said the battery was flat and it wouldn't let me show you....Later on, clearly finding the afternoon as rejuvenating as I did, they lurched back to life!
Actually, I'm as tired and aching now as if I'd been on a big hike but that was the idea after all - the point of the exercise you might say! There are bits of me that still haven't accepted that I'm ill and I have to let them out to play sometimes even though the old cranky sick parts grumble about it. Gratitude for getting home without running into Mrs upstairs and her partner in crime. It's all over the front page of the local paper today though no names are mentioned...
Much thanks too for Sky Arts putting on a few programmes lately about Cirque du Soleil. I would love to see them live but couldn't face all the travelling to and round and staying in a big city on my own any more and don't know anyone who would love to do it too enough to fork out the money for a ticket, or who loves me enough to accept one for free in return for escort services. Yeah, sometimes being on your own sucks, ha ha! And thanks to Tony for his message. Hope you and lovely Derbyshire are doing OK.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Thanksgiving
Well, I've ranted a bit on CC and I've ranted a bit on here and seem to have upset some folks and I'm sorry for that, but not for what I've said. The happiness squared project must go on as must my 'against the rules' survival!
So this afternoon and evening so far I've been delightfully grateful for...
* finally getting the hang of the very US orientated website and managing to order a parcel of treats for my pen pal on death row
* a thick fairy crescent (not a whole ring) of toadstools on a grassy bank by the side of the road
* a great chat and swap of small kindnesses with Rachel who also made me a cup of tea...oh and gave me some acupuncture too, ha ha!
* a thoughtful letter from my neurologist saying even though he hadn't found anything obviously wrong he understood this wasn't very reassuring and to let him know if I wanted to talk about it more
* cold pizza on the sea front beforehand and a walk along it in the darkness after. Lots of spray and hardly any people - great!
* trying out the yarn I bought yesterday and confirming it will make a nice little scarf for one of the local charity fundraisers and an easy don't-need-to-look-at-my-hands craft project whule watching TV. Now where's that remote control?
So this afternoon and evening so far I've been delightfully grateful for...
* finally getting the hang of the very US orientated website and managing to order a parcel of treats for my pen pal on death row
* a thick fairy crescent (not a whole ring) of toadstools on a grassy bank by the side of the road
* a great chat and swap of small kindnesses with Rachel who also made me a cup of tea...oh and gave me some acupuncture too, ha ha!
* a thoughtful letter from my neurologist saying even though he hadn't found anything obviously wrong he understood this wasn't very reassuring and to let him know if I wanted to talk about it more
* cold pizza on the sea front beforehand and a walk along it in the darkness after. Lots of spray and hardly any people - great!
* trying out the yarn I bought yesterday and confirming it will make a nice little scarf for one of the local charity fundraisers and an easy don't-need-to-look-at-my-hands craft project whule watching TV. Now where's that remote control?
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
Zen and the art of shopping
Mmm...finished the omelette I made last night for my lunch. It was thick with onions and mushrooms and spuds...deliberately made too big to eat all at once as I knew how delicious it would be today! I needed a hot snack when I got back from shopping in the little city. No that's not a misprint or a dream but something I actually did achieve today. I'd put a few minutes worth of energy aside each day all week and when I had enough saved up I planned a quick route around the shops I had to go to (all close to one station) arranged it so there'd be a rough sea to marvel at on the journey and strong winds and heavy showers...but only when I was under cover so everyone else less clever with the weather stayed home out of my way! I seemed to know exactly where to go to find the things I'd gone for at just the right prices...And when I needed a refreshment break I found a cafe with no one else in it giving away free fresh homemade cake with every drink purchased!
There's at least fifteen things I'm grateful for in the paragraph above but despite cabs to and fro from the station and lots of sitting down on the trip I've run out of the energy I had stored up and need to recharge now!
Thinking of all of you with hospital visits this week and wishing you what you'd wish for yourselves or something even better!
There's at least fifteen things I'm grateful for in the paragraph above but despite cabs to and fro from the station and lots of sitting down on the trip I've run out of the energy I had stored up and need to recharge now!
Thinking of all of you with hospital visits this week and wishing you what you'd wish for yourselves or something even better!
Thursday, 3 November 2011
The dog and pineapple
It sounds like a pub name doesn't it? Some sort of eatery perhaps like the Slug and Lettuce? Actually it's what I saw outside the Co op earlier. A dog waiting patiently or otherwise by the door is fairly common occurrence but you don't often see a loosely wrapped fresh pineapple by their side! I give thanks for being on the spot at just the right time to catch this anomoly.
Gratitude too to Rachel for excellent acupuncture and, just as beneficial in its own way, perceptive comprehension of my sometimes unconventional thought processes and emotional responses. How lucky I was to find someone so sympathetic to my ways!
Gratitude that the weather cleared up by the time I went out and for finding a carved pumpkin lantern on the doorstep downstairs. Still there from Monday night I guess, I haven't been out since Jared brought me home earlier in the late afternoon...heart warming to know the new neighbours aren't the sort to leave themselves or empty bottles there anyway...I told you the neighbourhood was looking up! Gratitude too the carpet shop was shut due to flood damage so that I used the extra town time I'd allocated to sip hot chocolate on the edge of the promenade watching the big waves rolling in. They were the sort that leaves a wide band of white foam behind them and children and dogs were playing chicken with their ebb and flow while surfers rode the swell. Much nicer than buying carpets! I also give thanks for finding, in among the tins of seasonal sweeties, rows of pre-packed meat and racks of alcohol, some actual food to buy at the Dog and Pineapple... sorry, the Co-op, I mean! I can see my new name for it might stick though...
Gratitude too to Rachel for excellent acupuncture and, just as beneficial in its own way, perceptive comprehension of my sometimes unconventional thought processes and emotional responses. How lucky I was to find someone so sympathetic to my ways!
Gratitude that the weather cleared up by the time I went out and for finding a carved pumpkin lantern on the doorstep downstairs. Still there from Monday night I guess, I haven't been out since Jared brought me home earlier in the late afternoon...heart warming to know the new neighbours aren't the sort to leave themselves or empty bottles there anyway...I told you the neighbourhood was looking up! Gratitude too the carpet shop was shut due to flood damage so that I used the extra town time I'd allocated to sip hot chocolate on the edge of the promenade watching the big waves rolling in. They were the sort that leaves a wide band of white foam behind them and children and dogs were playing chicken with their ebb and flow while surfers rode the swell. Much nicer than buying carpets! I also give thanks for finding, in among the tins of seasonal sweeties, rows of pre-packed meat and racks of alcohol, some actual food to buy at the Dog and Pineapple... sorry, the Co-op, I mean! I can see my new name for it might stick though...
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Wave to me
I did it...I went out! The sun was still shining then but the wind was strengthening. The tide had just turned and the waves were hitting the sea wall with plumes of spray...and then they bounced back and hit the waves behind with another explosion of foam. Lots of people taking pictures, some very seriously others just snapping with big grins like me. I thought after doh...I could have captured this in motion!
Never mind...I’m sure you get the idea...
It wasn't the most spectacular I've ever seen it - sometimes it's not just walkers on the sea wall that get wet but passengers on trains if the windows are left open - but still impressive for a quite a sunny and mild afternoon. And then it began to get dramatically dark...
I love this image with the sun's rays and haze of spray. When I was little we had a children's Bible with black and white drawings and slanting rays of light through cloud onto sea always remind me of the illustration for the spirit of God moving upon the waters.
Very grateful I managed to get out and see it and take my mind off the bits that hurt and the bits that don't work...and also that I worked up, well, not exactly an appetite but a willingness to eat. I give thanks that I washed up too, and cleaned up a bit in the kitchen so I could see the surfaces of the work surfaces again. Resting on the sofa afterwards I watched highlights from last year's Great British Bake Off. I loved the marquee kitchen they moved around the country with the different coloured work stations and vintage styled appliances. Gratitude for being reminded of that and for finding out how well some of the contestants have done. Anyway...it seems to have taken me about a year and a half to write this and put the images in so finally I give thanks that I'm finally stopping now! Hope you're all doing OK
Never mind...I’m sure you get the idea...
I love this image with the sun's rays and haze of spray. When I was little we had a children's Bible with black and white drawings and slanting rays of light through cloud onto sea always remind me of the illustration for the spirit of God moving upon the waters.
Very grateful I managed to get out and see it and take my mind off the bits that hurt and the bits that don't work...and also that I worked up, well, not exactly an appetite but a willingness to eat. I give thanks that I washed up too, and cleaned up a bit in the kitchen so I could see the surfaces of the work surfaces again. Resting on the sofa afterwards I watched highlights from last year's Great British Bake Off. I loved the marquee kitchen they moved around the country with the different coloured work stations and vintage styled appliances. Gratitude for being reminded of that and for finding out how well some of the contestants have done. Anyway...it seems to have taken me about a year and a half to write this and put the images in so finally I give thanks that I'm finally stopping now! Hope you're all doing OK
Monday, 3 October 2011
Making waves
There was a tiny puppy on the beach today...I've seen bigger shoes! I think it might have been the first time its owner had brought it as she kept trying to get the little thing interested in the sea but it was as if the sea was just too big for it to notice. When it got its feet wet it ran back up onto the dry sand but otherwise no reaction. The tide had not long turned and quite a few dogs were being exercised on the gradually growing strip of beach so the puppy was more fascinated by the smells than anything else until a first a large stick and then a large wet Labrador hurtled past it. It watched for a moment or two apparently assessing the situation and then dashed off on hot pursuit! Made me laugh out loud...thanks for that, pup!
It reminded me of the first time Fraser saw the sea. He was older as we lived inland but not yet fully grown. There were a few of us went to the coast and we parked the car close by the shore and headed towards it. Fraser was trotting along beside me when suddenly he caught sight of the water and he stopped stock still and gazed and gazed and gazed. I let him off the lead but he still just stood there, until someone finally threw a stick for him and after a few seconds' hesitation he literally took the plunge, jumped in and went swimming after it.
I give thanks for the happy sight of happy people and dogs enjoying the last of the summer. And for being one of them! It was a real effort to get down there today but never put off til tomorrow what you may never have the chance to do again! I gazed and gazed and gazed and also remembered my dream last night in which I was doing just that but with the purpose of making waves. I'd stare at the mostly flat water for a while and a ridge of water would begin to emerge and grow in length and height and until it could roll in to break on the sand, then I'd make another! I was quite proud of my new skill and showing it to people but it wasn't called making waves in my dream...I can't remember what it was though!
This evening I'm very tired and grateful for leftovers from tea last night to heat up if I can summon an appetite when I've finished typing (and re-typing) this. I hope Tony's feeling better, that Carole continues to beat the NHS into submission and Pat's appointment goes OK. I had to phone the community nursing team twice today to confirm they'd remembered to come today instead of tomorrow. The first time I left a message as I couldn't get through, the second time they said they'd no record of me calling last week about the change, then someone turned up and we joked that I'd probably get someone tomorrow as well (or lots of frantic messages as I won't be here) and then about half an hour after that another nurse turned up unaware that the first one has been.
Let's hope patient transport is a bit more organised. I phoned them earlier to confirm by booking and they said yes they'd confirmed it with the driver and he'd be there but usually the driver actually gets in touch with you persoanlly to agree times and any other other arrangements and it seems they've discontinued this useful practice. I volunteered to work for them some time ago but my health deteriorated too much for reliable attendance before they'd completed all the police checks etc and I had to back out.
I've been making some things for them to sell at fundraising events. Not waves, but a cushion cover with a wavy border and a soft fluffy scarf with multi coloured flecks in. I'm grateful for the fun I had making these and I hope they are grateful to receive them!
It reminded me of the first time Fraser saw the sea. He was older as we lived inland but not yet fully grown. There were a few of us went to the coast and we parked the car close by the shore and headed towards it. Fraser was trotting along beside me when suddenly he caught sight of the water and he stopped stock still and gazed and gazed and gazed. I let him off the lead but he still just stood there, until someone finally threw a stick for him and after a few seconds' hesitation he literally took the plunge, jumped in and went swimming after it.
I give thanks for the happy sight of happy people and dogs enjoying the last of the summer. And for being one of them! It was a real effort to get down there today but never put off til tomorrow what you may never have the chance to do again! I gazed and gazed and gazed and also remembered my dream last night in which I was doing just that but with the purpose of making waves. I'd stare at the mostly flat water for a while and a ridge of water would begin to emerge and grow in length and height and until it could roll in to break on the sand, then I'd make another! I was quite proud of my new skill and showing it to people but it wasn't called making waves in my dream...I can't remember what it was though!
This evening I'm very tired and grateful for leftovers from tea last night to heat up if I can summon an appetite when I've finished typing (and re-typing) this. I hope Tony's feeling better, that Carole continues to beat the NHS into submission and Pat's appointment goes OK. I had to phone the community nursing team twice today to confirm they'd remembered to come today instead of tomorrow. The first time I left a message as I couldn't get through, the second time they said they'd no record of me calling last week about the change, then someone turned up and we joked that I'd probably get someone tomorrow as well (or lots of frantic messages as I won't be here) and then about half an hour after that another nurse turned up unaware that the first one has been.
Let's hope patient transport is a bit more organised. I phoned them earlier to confirm by booking and they said yes they'd confirmed it with the driver and he'd be there but usually the driver actually gets in touch with you persoanlly to agree times and any other other arrangements and it seems they've discontinued this useful practice. I volunteered to work for them some time ago but my health deteriorated too much for reliable attendance before they'd completed all the police checks etc and I had to back out.
Thursday, 29 September 2011
Oceans
Decided to give the woody uphill path a miss as extra walking involved anyway to get to the sand and extra things to carry. A picture doesn't do the fragrance of it justice... a delicious piney, cedary, resiny smell.
Honestly, look what you people are missing out on not visiting me! You wouldn't even have to sit close by my side...there's loads of space and sand to share, ha ha! I give oceans full of gratitude that I'm ending my days in such a pretty, laid back place. I give thanks for watching dogs playing together and people walking out way beyond the pier into the sea on the narrow sand bank the ebbing tide reveals. I've done that and it's fun and from a distance it looks like you're walking on the water!
When I got home there was a message to book a neurology appointment next week with the Professor I saw a few years ago so that's progress, I also heard from someone I'd contacted about lack of an oncologist's support and he's given me the number of the one who has taken over the caseload of mine who it turns out is off sick. He said he would mention my name and circumstances to her...progress also! Gratitude for these items of news and for some friendly pleasant phone conversations with people I've met in more vigorous days to make necessary arrangements. Thank you Harry, Robert and Tina for making difficult times a little easier...
I give thanks I've caught up with essential things like washing and washing up abandoned earlier on and had some Covent Garden soup to have for my tea. Taking it very easy this evening...mindless TV drifting into bedtime all I have in mind.
PS. Notice there's been no comments for a while...don't have to be, I know...but Lynn says she's been having problems. If anyone else has can you leave a comment letting me know, ha ha! Seriously though are there error messages or what? I'm going to see if I can though that might not tell me much about what happened to you. Maybe it was your work PC telling you you should be!
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Holely satisfied
Mmmm. I feel lovely and acupunctured! Thank you to Rachel. Thank you also to Rachel for understanding so easily things I try so hard to explain to other people. Of course I still explain them to her just for the delight of hearing her say 'Yes, I know!!!' Ha ha!!! Someone might want to report me to the pun police I reckon though...
I'm grateful for not being too spaced out after to do my in town chores and for then finding a bit of relative peace in a patch of sun at the end of the promenade to enjoy the last of my Lovington's marmalade ice cream. Marmalade? Yes, honestly! I'd never heard of it too and it's absolutely delicious! The sea was flat and calm and clear. Quite a few people taking an early evening dip so I remembered what that felt like and that was quite enjoyable too.
I give thanks for finding a really interesting and readable article about the science behind the placebo effect...oh actually I've just found another! Of course there's no such thing because the pretend medicine cannot not make you better but 'scientists' are very interested in finding out what does...what's going on in your body and mind. Some of you might find them interesting...let me know and I'll send you links... Oh and Pat and Carol, I was going to message you both later but just in case I don't get round to it: Thank you for the invitation but it didn't sound really 'me' if you know what I mean. I do have a plan of my own in mind tho...will get back to you on that so let me know if you're interested (or any one else)as it's more 'my kind of thing' so I think I'd enjoy it more and hopefully some benefit will come out of it too for everyone involved.
Now to the really important questions in life...what to have for tea and what to watch on TV ha ha!
I'm grateful for not being too spaced out after to do my in town chores and for then finding a bit of relative peace in a patch of sun at the end of the promenade to enjoy the last of my Lovington's marmalade ice cream. Marmalade? Yes, honestly! I'd never heard of it too and it's absolutely delicious! The sea was flat and calm and clear. Quite a few people taking an early evening dip so I remembered what that felt like and that was quite enjoyable too.
I give thanks for finding a really interesting and readable article about the science behind the placebo effect...oh actually I've just found another! Of course there's no such thing because the pretend medicine cannot not make you better but 'scientists' are very interested in finding out what does...what's going on in your body and mind. Some of you might find them interesting...let me know and I'll send you links... Oh and Pat and Carol, I was going to message you both later but just in case I don't get round to it: Thank you for the invitation but it didn't sound really 'me' if you know what I mean. I do have a plan of my own in mind tho...will get back to you on that so let me know if you're interested (or any one else)as it's more 'my kind of thing' so I think I'd enjoy it more and hopefully some benefit will come out of it too for everyone involved.
Now to the really important questions in life...what to have for tea and what to watch on TV ha ha!
Sunday, 7 August 2011
In my view...
Well Pat, I don't know if the mods will be marching on me but I fear a savaging from a sock puppet now...am almost scared to look! The last sentence will make little sense to many but a lot to a few!!!
I've been very achey today and it seems to be taking me forever to do anything...
Might have something to do with having a little dance last night you never know! But that's my first recorded gratitude for today although well over twenty four hours ago now...
And then there was the torrential storm just before sundown yesterday when the heavy grey clouds either dumped their rain or blew away and left a sort of angel wing effect around the last sliver of sun...I'm not sure how well this will show as per usual!
Meanwhile at the other side of my flat...compass opposite from the setting sun we had the best example of 'reflected sunset' I've ever seen (my term - I don't know what the correct one is for the pink clouds you get in the east when the sun goes down!) Check out the pink sea!
My third gratitude is for the delicious fruit salad I made from a handful of blackberries from Laura's garden, a ripe peach and some organic strawberries. Still from yesterday...good job there was so much to please after my last post as today's not been bursting at the seams with moments of joy.
This morning I was glad to read The Princess and the Spaceman again...one of my favourite stories ever...and this afternoon for getting to a shop and getting things that I had kidded myself I needed to just so as not to be splodged on the sofa for another day. And I was grateful not to get soaking wet as well! And passing a van with a house on top...a black and white mansion actually but model village size. Not something you see every day...unless you visit a model village every day...or live in one!!?? No, no, that last bit doesn't make sense - if you lived in a model village you'd not be big enougb to see the top of a van! Duh!
And lastly I'm extremely grateful that by the time I've logged out and packed up this and that it will be time to take my final antibiotic of the day and hopefully get a bit of kip before the first one in the morning!
I've been very achey today and it seems to be taking me forever to do anything...
Might have something to do with having a little dance last night you never know! But that's my first recorded gratitude for today although well over twenty four hours ago now...
And then there was the torrential storm just before sundown yesterday when the heavy grey clouds either dumped their rain or blew away and left a sort of angel wing effect around the last sliver of sun...I'm not sure how well this will show as per usual!
My third gratitude is for the delicious fruit salad I made from a handful of blackberries from Laura's garden, a ripe peach and some organic strawberries. Still from yesterday...good job there was so much to please after my last post as today's not been bursting at the seams with moments of joy.
This morning I was glad to read The Princess and the Spaceman again...one of my favourite stories ever...and this afternoon for getting to a shop and getting things that I had kidded myself I needed to just so as not to be splodged on the sofa for another day. And I was grateful not to get soaking wet as well! And passing a van with a house on top...a black and white mansion actually but model village size. Not something you see every day...unless you visit a model village every day...or live in one!!?? No, no, that last bit doesn't make sense - if you lived in a model village you'd not be big enougb to see the top of a van! Duh!
And lastly I'm extremely grateful that by the time I've logged out and packed up this and that it will be time to take my final antibiotic of the day and hopefully get a bit of kip before the first one in the morning!
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Blue room
So, yes, thirdly I give thanks for my soothing blue smooth away the blues bathroom. Even though I can't wallow in my deliciously deep bath any more any bathroom activity is enhanced by this lovely room...to say nothing of the property value!.
Lots of curvy shapes...very sensuous! And a high ceiling so that altho still a very small room with no window it feels very spacious and light. I'll have to take a pic of my shell mirror again. I had some on a phone I lost but couldn't find any in my laptop files just now...
Fourthly I'm grateful for some 'classic' afternoon TV...compellingly cringeworthy Tots and Tiaras and a laugh out loud funny episode of Come Dine With Me.
And finally for catching sight through my bedroom window of a tanker lining up to manouvre into the harbour so that I could get my binoculars and get settled in time for the pilot boat to go out and meet it to guide it through through the chicanes of sandbanks each side of the narrow navigable channel. I can only see the first stages of this from my flat of course but it's still a treat for weirdos like me! Being on the shore when they come in and out is awesome. They pass so close to the picnicers and fishermen and people in tiny boats. If I'm down there near high tide I often look to see if there's one on the way and loiter, and I'm not alone. And if one gets stuck, as does happen once in a while, quite a large crowd turns out to watch at the next high tide when they get the tugs to push and pull to release her. It's only a small town...we must get out kicks where we can ha ha!
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
The view from here and there
It's cool and grey again today...that's fine by me as far too tired and too busy for day tripping again for a while.
Yesterday I did indeed do things orange...and thinking of that is my first 'gold star' gratitude of the day. Jared and Sophie came and picked me up to go to a takeaway in the next little town along and then we drove the other way to a carpark with a magnificient view to eat it. It was very hazy so we couldn't see very far but what we could see was extra picturesque and ethereal with the pale sky and pale sea. Sometimes I feel as if I'm taking a snapshot in my mind then it seems I can really remember what things looked like when I look back...but I guess there's a memory of an emotional feeling that goes with an image too. A camera can't capture that but a picture can be a key that releases it.
Talking of which...I'm in the middle of writing a letter to my incarcerated penfriend. Because he's Greek and I've been to Greece a couple of times there is some common ground there and I've just been telling him about a trip I had when I flew from Rome to Athens. I don't really like flying much and prefer not to be by a window so I don't have to look any further down than the carpet on the floor of the plane but sometimes if there's something really spectacular to see I think well if I'm about to die I might as well enjoy the view! (Interesting how my erstwhile in-flight philosophy has extended to encompass my grounded days now!)
Anyway, on this particular occasion, once I realised how good the view actually was I demanded a turn in the window seat immediately! We were flying fairly low as not going far and as it was perfectly clear the landscape beneath us was like the large scale map in our hands coming to life with vehicles on the roads and boats in the harbour. Absolutely the best flight ever...though the spin round the summit of Snowdon in a De Havilland Rapide (rattly 1930s biplane) comes a close second. Highly recommend helicopter from Penzance to St Mary's too. I'm counting remembering all these as one gratitude today as a challenge to find more but they were all individually quite spendid. Feel the fear and do it anyway folks...otherwise you might miss the fun!
Yesterday I did indeed do things orange...and thinking of that is my first 'gold star' gratitude of the day. Jared and Sophie came and picked me up to go to a takeaway in the next little town along and then we drove the other way to a carpark with a magnificient view to eat it. It was very hazy so we couldn't see very far but what we could see was extra picturesque and ethereal with the pale sky and pale sea. Sometimes I feel as if I'm taking a snapshot in my mind then it seems I can really remember what things looked like when I look back...but I guess there's a memory of an emotional feeling that goes with an image too. A camera can't capture that but a picture can be a key that releases it.
Talking of which...I'm in the middle of writing a letter to my incarcerated penfriend. Because he's Greek and I've been to Greece a couple of times there is some common ground there and I've just been telling him about a trip I had when I flew from Rome to Athens. I don't really like flying much and prefer not to be by a window so I don't have to look any further down than the carpet on the floor of the plane but sometimes if there's something really spectacular to see I think well if I'm about to die I might as well enjoy the view! (Interesting how my erstwhile in-flight philosophy has extended to encompass my grounded days now!)
Anyway, on this particular occasion, once I realised how good the view actually was I demanded a turn in the window seat immediately! We were flying fairly low as not going far and as it was perfectly clear the landscape beneath us was like the large scale map in our hands coming to life with vehicles on the roads and boats in the harbour. Absolutely the best flight ever...though the spin round the summit of Snowdon in a De Havilland Rapide (rattly 1930s biplane) comes a close second. Highly recommend helicopter from Penzance to St Mary's too. I'm counting remembering all these as one gratitude today as a challenge to find more but they were all individually quite spendid. Feel the fear and do it anyway folks...otherwise you might miss the fun!
Monday, 11 July 2011
Unsuitable behaviour
Well, I made it to the beach, just before the tide came in and hid it!
I had no idea how feeble I was until I got outdoors. Sometimes you have more energy doing something nice instead of boring chores and I was sure I'd be skipping along when I got near the sea but I felt absolutely exhausted and only moved from place to place if I needed a cuppa or the loo or not to drown etc. Every time I sat down I felt not so much settled as stuck and I thought like Aschenbach in Death in Venice I might just stay there for ever gazing into the haze. Not that there were any beautiful androgynous young men in stripey cozzies, well not that I saw anyway! Neither were there any dolphins to be seen though I looked and looked and looked.
The guy at the cafe was having a look too. I said it would have been a nice day for them...no jet skis etc and he said the other day they came across the bay and there were people on jet skis in the middle and the dolphins went to have a play with them. He said the customers kept saying 'They shouldn't be doing that!' and he kept having to explain it was the dolphins idea! So for 3)let's hear it for rebel dolphins eh? For risk taking, thrill seeking dolphins who do what they shouldn't now and then.
There was a packet from me from the hospital on the hall table when I got downstairs on the way out, well a large envelope with a little lump in it. I didn't think it was appropriate to take it with me but didn't have the energy to take it back up all the flights of stairs so left it where it was and when I got back my evil neighbour had opened it (to see if it was worth stealing) and rendered it unsterile. I know this is not the place to moan and but I've tried telling the police, her landlord, the council and my MP all to no avail so I thought I'd ask you all to combine your cosmic powers and make this behaviour STOP! Thank you!!!
You can see I have a very subjective take on what's unsuitable beahviour. Don't we all?
I had no idea how feeble I was until I got outdoors. Sometimes you have more energy doing something nice instead of boring chores and I was sure I'd be skipping along when I got near the sea but I felt absolutely exhausted and only moved from place to place if I needed a cuppa or the loo or not to drown etc. Every time I sat down I felt not so much settled as stuck and I thought like Aschenbach in Death in Venice I might just stay there for ever gazing into the haze. Not that there were any beautiful androgynous young men in stripey cozzies, well not that I saw anyway! Neither were there any dolphins to be seen though I looked and looked and looked.
The guy at the cafe was having a look too. I said it would have been a nice day for them...no jet skis etc and he said the other day they came across the bay and there were people on jet skis in the middle and the dolphins went to have a play with them. He said the customers kept saying 'They shouldn't be doing that!' and he kept having to explain it was the dolphins idea! So for 3)let's hear it for rebel dolphins eh? For risk taking, thrill seeking dolphins who do what they shouldn't now and then.
There was a packet from me from the hospital on the hall table when I got downstairs on the way out, well a large envelope with a little lump in it. I didn't think it was appropriate to take it with me but didn't have the energy to take it back up all the flights of stairs so left it where it was and when I got back my evil neighbour had opened it (to see if it was worth stealing) and rendered it unsterile. I know this is not the place to moan and but I've tried telling the police, her landlord, the council and my MP all to no avail so I thought I'd ask you all to combine your cosmic powers and make this behaviour STOP! Thank you!!!
You can see I have a very subjective take on what's unsuitable beahviour. Don't we all?
Follow me...
Good morning!
Heavens where are all these followers coming from? I must be careful not to confuse 'followers' with 'fans' though I guess ha ha!
I am determined to get out of the door by noon (yes...with sunscreen and a hat even if it's clouded over by then in case the sun comes back!) I want to find a place near the sea and sit for a while and feel good. There is so much to do beforehand tho!. I was just making a snack to take and wished I had someone to delegate chores to, or even say 'let me do that!. I can dimly remember these exalted states though to be fair a lot of it is stuff only I can really do like sorting out my 'personal' care and trying to rearrange this strange re-upholstery the cosmos has sent me in place of my hair so the aforementioned hat will actually sit on my head rather than resting above like some feat of levitation!
Between little bursts of activity I have to take little rests so that's how I'm finding time to write this! It also means I can think I mustn't forget to take such and such, or do so and so before I go and then see if I actually remember when I get up again.
Anyway I'm grateful for the brilliant sunshine luring me outside (1) and for living somewhere where the sea is within reach (2) even if I have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h myself these days to get there!
Heavens where are all these followers coming from? I must be careful not to confuse 'followers' with 'fans' though I guess ha ha!
I am determined to get out of the door by noon (yes...with sunscreen and a hat even if it's clouded over by then in case the sun comes back!) I want to find a place near the sea and sit for a while and feel good. There is so much to do beforehand tho!. I was just making a snack to take and wished I had someone to delegate chores to, or even say 'let me do that!. I can dimly remember these exalted states though to be fair a lot of it is stuff only I can really do like sorting out my 'personal' care and trying to rearrange this strange re-upholstery the cosmos has sent me in place of my hair so the aforementioned hat will actually sit on my head rather than resting above like some feat of levitation!
Between little bursts of activity I have to take little rests so that's how I'm finding time to write this! It also means I can think I mustn't forget to take such and such, or do so and so before I go and then see if I actually remember when I get up again.
Anyway I'm grateful for the brilliant sunshine luring me outside (1) and for living somewhere where the sea is within reach (2) even if I have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h myself these days to get there!
Friday, 8 July 2011
Waves of hysteria
A long nap on the sofa in the evening can mean a restless start to the night with all kinds of dark places for a soul to go to. But sometimes, when it's very still, when all the neighbours and neighbourhood creatures are sleeping and my bedroom window's open...I can hear the waves breaking on the beach. What a treat is that! Definitely my first happy thought of the day at around oh one hundred hours.
That's reminded me of a memory that makes me smile. So it can be No 2 for the day! One night I was reading a totally gripping book from the library about a man who kept slipping backwards and forwards in his life. It was written many years before The Time Traveller's Wife and, I think, much better. In fact, long before the internet and Amazon were a way of life I travelled the rural Welsh county I lived in to find a bookshop that would trawl the world to find a second hand copy of this out of print gem for me and paid a good deal more than I'd normally have paid for a new one! That good!
Anyway I could not stop reading it...I just had to carry on to the end before I finally switched off the bedside light and settled down to sleep. My last thought before I drifted off was that I must tell my then best friend next day so she could read it too. But then I was wide awake again! What if I died in the night and didn't get a chance to tell her and she missed out on the wonderful experience I'd just had? Hastily I turned on the light again and found something to write on and scrawled 'Please read this' on a scrap of paper and settled down again. But then, just as sleep over took me another thought popped into my head...If I did die in the night then in all the kerfuffle afterwards a scrap of paper saying 'Please read this' would either get lost altogether or separated from the book and misconstrued as some kind of cryptic clue in the investigation of my sudden demise. So I had to turn on the light again and write a proper note naming the friend and naming the book before I could finally get some rest.
I love this story! I love remembering my amiably batty self from twenty odd years ago. I no longer have the friend, I no longer have the book as some other friend borrowed it and wandered off. But I have the memory, safe and close and constant to make me smile again.
That's reminded me of a memory that makes me smile. So it can be No 2 for the day! One night I was reading a totally gripping book from the library about a man who kept slipping backwards and forwards in his life. It was written many years before The Time Traveller's Wife and, I think, much better. In fact, long before the internet and Amazon were a way of life I travelled the rural Welsh county I lived in to find a bookshop that would trawl the world to find a second hand copy of this out of print gem for me and paid a good deal more than I'd normally have paid for a new one! That good!
Anyway I could not stop reading it...I just had to carry on to the end before I finally switched off the bedside light and settled down to sleep. My last thought before I drifted off was that I must tell my then best friend next day so she could read it too. But then I was wide awake again! What if I died in the night and didn't get a chance to tell her and she missed out on the wonderful experience I'd just had? Hastily I turned on the light again and found something to write on and scrawled 'Please read this' on a scrap of paper and settled down again. But then, just as sleep over took me another thought popped into my head...If I did die in the night then in all the kerfuffle afterwards a scrap of paper saying 'Please read this' would either get lost altogether or separated from the book and misconstrued as some kind of cryptic clue in the investigation of my sudden demise. So I had to turn on the light again and write a proper note naming the friend and naming the book before I could finally get some rest.
I love this story! I love remembering my amiably batty self from twenty odd years ago. I no longer have the friend, I no longer have the book as some other friend borrowed it and wandered off. But I have the memory, safe and close and constant to make me smile again.
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Three and Four
My third happiness of the day was eating my slice of pie in a sheltered nook on the seafront. There was a strong breeze, scudding clouds in the sky and bursts of high tide spray on the sea wall but the sun shone warmly on me for the duration. I read a new letter from my new penfriend I'd picked up on the way out. He seems an intelligent and interesting chap with a sense of humour and a kind word to share. If he weren't where he is you wouldn't guess from his correspondence. Of course, it might all be made up...but so might this! It felt like a good trip altogether...I had a little chat with people in the shops and offices I went to and with an elderly lady I sometimes meet going up or down the hill. She always looks astonished someone would stop and speak to her. I like to say hello to people, exchange a greeting or at least a smile.
My fourth is that I have a whole day tomorrow when I don't have to be anywhere or do anything in particular at any particular time. Too much of that can be a bad thing...too much solitude rattling around in your own head but sometimes it can be very nice indeed, restorative and recharging!
Not decided on a fifth yet, a few things spring to mind but I might find something even better yet, who knows?
My fourth is that I have a whole day tomorrow when I don't have to be anywhere or do anything in particular at any particular time. Too much of that can be a bad thing...too much solitude rattling around in your own head but sometimes it can be very nice indeed, restorative and recharging!
Not decided on a fifth yet, a few things spring to mind but I might find something even better yet, who knows?
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
What a difference a day makes
Third happiness was that I went to acupuncture. I figured just being properly listened to would do me good, plus a nice lie down and hug (any treatment being a bonus!). Afterwards I felt well enough to hobble down to the beach for an ice cream in the sun. Today the sea looked summery blue again...
Then when I got home after enjoying the sunshine it had been the second most perfect Wimbledon weather (ie rainy there while fine here) so still plenty to watch. And the first thing I watched was several rounds of jovial Mexican waving after the covers came off on Court Number Two. I love watching Mexican waves, being in them's even better, of course, but not been in an appropriate situation of late. Love anything where groups of people doing similar things create a visual effect. The beauty in the cooperation and coordination of different formsreally moves me emotionally...Spencer Tunick's nude tableaux, Busby Berkeley's dressed dancer patterns...even a line dancing troupe at a pinch ha ha! But flash mobs are the best of all, they actually make me cry...but in a good way ;-) So the entire previous paragraph will be my fourth!
Then when I got home after enjoying the sunshine it had been the second most perfect Wimbledon weather (ie rainy there while fine here) so still plenty to watch. And the first thing I watched was several rounds of jovial Mexican waving after the covers came off on Court Number Two. I love watching Mexican waves, being in them's even better, of course, but not been in an appropriate situation of late. Love anything where groups of people doing similar things create a visual effect. The beauty in the cooperation and coordination of different formsreally moves me emotionally...Spencer Tunick's nude tableaux, Busby Berkeley's dressed dancer patterns...even a line dancing troupe at a pinch ha ha! But flash mobs are the best of all, they actually make me cry...but in a good way ;-) So the entire previous paragraph will be my fourth!
Monday, 27 June 2011
Watch this space #3: Still a lot of space left!
There is a green tree far away
With leaves I've yet to make
But everything I try to do
Just makes my body ache
Aches so much I went to the doctor...hardly ever do that. She suggests my chest pain and difficulty breathing is a digestive issue which just shows how much I know eh? I would have thought... oh, never mind you know what I'd have thought as you would have done too! Still at least Mr Murray finished (and won) his match before I had to leave for the surgery and 'Deliciano' Lopez hung on in the match he seemed about to lose saving the last set (and winning) for me. And the sea...just across the road from the doctors' was dark grey and wintry-waved without it actually be freezing cold to look at it!
You may not be able to tell much difference from the last picture to this but I have finished and sewn a few more branches down, and I've also crocheted a few more leaves though they need the ends sewn in yet. I guess it's actually a lot more done than it seems but a lot less done than I'd like it to be. Not that I'm not enjoying making it, it's just I'm looking forward to looking at it on the wall.
Some great tennis today...I love it when sporting foregone conclusions don't conclude according to plan A, or at least proceed as if they might not for a while!
So today I am grateful for...
1) the power of imagination
2) my tree still growing
3) stirring seascapes
4) surprising tennis...and...um...
5) the fact that you're reading this blog!
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
The numbers game
The nurse came for my maintenance today and had a second year student accompanying her who requested a domestic tour on the grounds my flat is decorated and furnished so beautifully and artistically. Readers who have been here will be glancing up at the address bar now to check they’re in the right blog ha ha! I guess the community team see a variety of living styles but she’s not the first to rave about mine so I’ll make that (1)
I felt quite energised after my acupuncture session (I have to write this so Rachel knows as I’ll have forgotten by next Tuesday!) Did some light l shopping in town and walked back the scenic route, along the seafront and up the road to the public viewing platform where the view is rather splendid funnily enough! Today the tide was quite far out exposing the little rocks off shore and with low waves and scattered white horses...beautiful...(2). And then I walked a bit further up the road to the edge of the park where you do have to walk down again before walking reaching the road up to where I live but it’s worth it as the path is pretty under the trees. What was noticeable about this minor adventure was the speed at which I did it...almost normal walking speed for a normal person. As I used to tear along at an astonishing rate for a not especially tall woman and now creep like an invalid awaiting her carriage this was rather exhilarating (3) I expect the wind would have been ruffling my hair if it had been long enough yet to ruffle!
Coming up the main road I remembered something that keeps coming into my head the last few weeks since it happened whenever I am there and I keep meaning to add it to a day’s feelgood thoughts when it does. I was walking down the hill and a heard a big bus coming down behind me and turned to see why as it was nowhere near the time you might expect to see a normally timetabled one.
It was an old fashioned double decker...what sort I’m not sure, but with a vintage cream and maroon livery, a partly open air top deck full of some sort of celebratory party and the destination ‘Private Hire’ in the roll up sign in the window. It passed me and as I watched it recede into the distance one of those Sunday road outing clubs came up on the opposite side...of Vespa riders with ranks of wing mirrors and parkas to keep out the cold. For a few seconds, if someone had captured that on a photo it would have been hard to put the correct date so (4) can be this random re-enactment of my 60s youth.
I’ll think up a 5 before bedtime I’m sure...
I felt quite energised after my acupuncture session (I have to write this so Rachel knows as I’ll have forgotten by next Tuesday!) Did some light l shopping in town and walked back the scenic route, along the seafront and up the road to the public viewing platform where the view is rather splendid funnily enough! Today the tide was quite far out exposing the little rocks off shore and with low waves and scattered white horses...beautiful...(2). And then I walked a bit further up the road to the edge of the park where you do have to walk down again before walking reaching the road up to where I live but it’s worth it as the path is pretty under the trees. What was noticeable about this minor adventure was the speed at which I did it...almost normal walking speed for a normal person. As I used to tear along at an astonishing rate for a not especially tall woman and now creep like an invalid awaiting her carriage this was rather exhilarating (3) I expect the wind would have been ruffling my hair if it had been long enough yet to ruffle!
Coming up the main road I remembered something that keeps coming into my head the last few weeks since it happened whenever I am there and I keep meaning to add it to a day’s feelgood thoughts when it does. I was walking down the hill and a heard a big bus coming down behind me and turned to see why as it was nowhere near the time you might expect to see a normally timetabled one.
It was an old fashioned double decker...what sort I’m not sure, but with a vintage cream and maroon livery, a partly open air top deck full of some sort of celebratory party and the destination ‘Private Hire’ in the roll up sign in the window. It passed me and as I watched it recede into the distance one of those Sunday road outing clubs came up on the opposite side...of Vespa riders with ranks of wing mirrors and parkas to keep out the cold. For a few seconds, if someone had captured that on a photo it would have been hard to put the correct date so (4) can be this random re-enactment of my 60s youth.
I’ll think up a 5 before bedtime I’m sure...
Sunday, 19 June 2011
waving not drowning
Well, I’ve been wielding my crochet hook and have ‘turned over’ a few new leaves as shown above. They will look like leaves when they are scattered over the things that will look like branches eventually...honestly!
Made a roast dinner of sorts with Quorn sausages and some of my famously delicious gravy that carnivores gaze in amazement when they taste and say how do you do this without meat? Finally about five pm getting out and walking along the sea wall a little way. There’s a part just outside town that was known as Old Maid’s Walk some years ago and something to do with the lie of the beach there makes the waves make such a soothing sound. I like to think they liked to go and calm their emotions listening decorously to the sound before Ann Summers was invented.
There are a lot of ways I like to spend Sundays and finding something possible within my current limitations and without kidnapping, carjacking or otherwise breaking and entering into people’s lives is constant challenge. Thus finding five things to be grateful for is too but here we go...
1) Finding the cherries
2) Making gravy (and thinking to try freezing the remainder as it’s hard to make just three spoonfuls at a time)
3) The sound of the waves
4) watching fascinated with a small randomly gathered group as middle aged swimmers cavorted with glee in the surf and a man apparently fully dressed in normal clothes (including knapsack) attempted to launch a canoe from the beach while sitting in it. He made it, but I think he might need to use the washing machine when he gets home
5) The young man serving in the supermarket having a little chat with me when I said I felt self-conscious being the only one in the store not buying alcohol!
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