Saturday, 25 March 2017

Chain of events

I give thanks for a beautiful bright sunny morning, quiet mild too as far as I can tell from indoors though the trees are waving around a bit. It all looked very alluring through the window and via the seafront webcams, and I give thanks I had things to get on with inside or I might well have been lured and regretted it! I give thanks my back, bum and leg are feeling relatively OK considering I've done quite a bit of moving about in the last few days but last night they did wake me up and remind me not to push it!

Despite imagining just lying around reading books, I give thanks for being pretty rubbish at that and getting up to scrub the sink and draining board before using a rew rack for the washed up plates and pans, dyeing some pale but serviceable towels so they didn't feel overshadowed by new ones and cleaning the fridge ready for new food! Well, that's the other thing you're supposed to do with a springlike day isn't it (apart from go out and enjoy it!) and it was a good day to dye! (Sorry... had to be done, that one!)

I give for falling asleep during the F1 highlights, not because they were especially lowlights, but because often in the countless qualis and races I've watched over the years something comes unplugged from my brain shortly after the opening music ends and I drift off to the sound of roaring engines...maybe it's because they're so often after lunch! I give thanks for livening myself up still lying on the sofa watching some highlights from the 'age against the machine' line up at the 6 music festival afterwards. Them Scottish lads have still got it even though they're nearly as old as me...though I guess they always were! Two kinds of Chain in one afternoon eh?

I give thanks my home smells of garden...

I give thanks my black baseball boots are almost worn right out because that prompted me to find a charcoal pair half price in a sale. Charcoal eh? I know! Practically sophisticated...well, practical anyway!

Friday, 24 March 2017

Be and queue

I give thanks I think the thing I'm taking to help me sleep more soundly seems to be working. It is one's perception of these matters that counts after all! For waking finally fairly refreshed and not unfairly sore considering the amount of walking about and carrying stuff that went on yesterday.

I give thanks for a local Facebook poster for their morning videos of dog walking on the beach, just the thing to save me wanting to be there on a shivery day. For a bit of a lie in with three fruit marmalade on multi seed bread reading my book, which has moved on from murder to opium dens - very homely haha!

I give thanks to Mima for allowing herself to be treated to an early birthday lunch at one of my favourite tapas restaurants and good naturedly also allowing me to fit in a lot of collecting of items I've clicked on the way to and fro. Of couse we managed to fit in a bit of browsing and shopping for her too but although still reasonably mobile I sat out some of that in her comfy passenger seat and admired the view through the windscreen! I miss walking past hedgerows, especially as the seasons change, so parking by them is fine by me. I give thanks for spotting a small avalanche of clematis tumbling over a fence on the roadside too...but we were going too fast to snap that...

I give thanks for lolling about without too much purpose since I got home. Sometimes it's good to stop trying to do and simply be. For watching the light change as the clouds thin at last and a glimmer of sunshine presages better weather on the way. For not having anything planned for the weekend...but feeling maybe...possibly...I could do something if opportunity or inspiration arose...

Finally I give great thanks for all the kind responses to yesterday's post. Yes, I was angling for a bit of attention and recognition, but not without just cause I reckon...and it's nice to hear people appreciate that I'm still here!

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Five years cheers

Five years ago today I had the operation they'd at first said it wasn't worth having...but in the end (as there hadn't been one) at last agreed actually in my case well maybe it was...

Last time I saw the surgeon he explained, quite reasonably, that as they'd had to throw away the rule book as regards predictions and prognosis for me, they weren't about to risk any more credibility by announcing anything like an all clear...but still it seems a significant milestone, and one that should be marked in some way other than by being quietly emotional about it at home alone. I've known people pass the date with fanfares...and others pass away before they got when you read this please be stuck in the middle with me for a few moments and raise your glass or mug, or give me a mental hug!

It's been a twisty tricksy road I've been travelling on for so long. I give thanks for the people who started out with me but turned off along the route somewhere. They showed me how strong I am and there's no need to be needy... And I give thanks for the folk I've met while I've been trudging on for seeming to find something they could appreciate in journeying with me a while...You helped me remember you never know what's coming up around the bend. Oh and I give thanks for those who've stuck with me through it all of guys are just awesome!

It's been the wettest day for a long long time but I've been feeling fitter than I have for a long long time so I give thanks I did the sensible thing and got a cab into town with a huge bag of stuff for a charity shop. And after that, even more thanks for sploshing around doing other useful odds and ends like buying a loaf of good bread and some wicked cookies, dripping all over prescription forms in the chemist and...drrrrrrrummmm rrrrrrrrolllll...I even went up to Waitrose and looked around a few aisles where I was able to pick up a couple of bargains including things for the big breakfast next week. I give thanks they have a free taxi phone there and that when I called to see how long one would be they said 'straight away'!

This may be one of those random one off days of wonder in the progress of my disgruntled discs...but as I'd been trying to think how I could celebrate still being alive being still and feeling rather sorry for myself, just being able to do something normal instead was quite a memorable treat. It wasn't pain free but there were bits when it hurt so little I forgot it did. I was very grateful indeed. And I give thanks for a message popping up when I got indoors as I just wanted to tell someone, you know?

I give thanks for wondering why one of my big boots were uncomfortable, taking them off expecting to find something stuck to my sock...and finding a penny inside the boot instead!

I give thanks my living room smells of dark hyacinths...I like their fragrance better than the pale...

I give thanks for the mad mid afternoon debauchery of cracking open two new packets of biscuits at the same time even though there's only me to eat them... Cheers folks!

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Right moves

So...hmmm...what to say today?

I give thanks for not too much pain in the night and a just about acceptable amount of sleep...for waking up to a message I missed by turning my phone off early but which made me smile in the morning instead...

I give thanks I've been in quite a mellow mood despite quite a bit of unmellowness in the vicinity. For my painful bits being reasonably co-operative so that I've been able to get a few things done for the second day in a in a few things over and above keeping clean and fed etc. That is such a lovely feeling, especially as I've such a huge backlog of over and above kind of things to do and a bit of sorting out can sort out more than the objects relocated! I also do like to be up and about getting on with activities even if it's only indoors, so I give thanks for both for the moving itself, and for that which I have moved...

I give thanks for a large late filling lunch with veg and rice and basil tofu. That stuff is the biz! For a fancy for, and the prospect of, something quite unsuitable for tea. That sometimes cooking for one is an undebateable joy!

I'm really not cut out to be an ouch potato, and pacing myself is not my forte but I give thanks for enough discomfort to remind me to stop now and then and get semi horizontal.

I give thanks for watching the weather change, and the colour change in the sea in the different light, and as the land is washed into it by the rain...

I give thanks for a bit of internet shopping for household items I've been keen to replace and for which Mima has kindly agreed to see that I am in the right places to collect on Friday.

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

It don't take much

I give thanks for the twinkly twilight zone of after acupuncture. It was Rachel's turn to provide tea and as she'd been too busy to cook she turned up with treats far less worthy and wholesome than usual - lush pizza, bagged salad... and, as she'd been in the bargain zone, filo for my freezer and panacotta for dessert. I'd never had panacotta and, just as I'd always suspected, never was far too long! And as she'd never had advocaat I initiated her tastebuds in return with a sip or two...

I was extremely grateful for all of the above, as well you might imagine, but perhaps most of all in a few days of feeling unusually cherished and nurtured, for her presenting me with a pretty basket of hyacinths announcing 'Happy Mother's Day! There's nothing to say you should only give things to your own mother...'

So what with all the niceness and needles, and thimbles full of alcohol soothing me, I gave thanks for falling asleep smoothly later on. I give thanks for getting some good rest for a few hours before the nasties started with such a vengeance, I put the light on and logged in to book a morning telcon to discuss trying a drug that's been known to help in similar cases and isn't contra-indicated in mine, apart from my natural disinclination to medicate.

I give thanks for listening to the birds and roads wake up and catching patches of zzzzs before the call. For (for once!) being pleased my kitchen window overlooks the recycling bins as I could see by the lengths a neighbour was going through to make his cardboard fit that there was no point in taking any more down to try.

I give thanks for the therapy of an hour or so going about my business in this superbly friendly and relaxed place. For the walking about part not being too uncomfortable either, though I did groan a bit when I realised I'd mistimed my visit to the pharmacy and would have to find something for me and my bags of shopping to do while the chap had his lunch, before going home for my own. Heavy clouds were gathering and a chill wind getting up, but by the time I'd been to my favourite takeaway tea place (of the many in the vicinity) and remembered a lemon roulade from our little patisserie had made its way into my bag earlier, the sun had come out again, and the wind dropped.

I gave thanks for a chat with the lady who served me about how we both are very easily moved to tears and the capacity for intense delight that seems to be the flipside...though that can also result in crying from happiness. Apparently we're both particularly susceptible to rainbows so I said maybe it's a kind of rainbow syndrome, as our personalities are caught between bright sunniness and downpours of tears...and she said 'Yeah and never finding the end!'

I give thanks for the stunning contrast of light picking out the grassy fields above red cliffs and white dotted lines of caravans in the distance set against the shades of grey...

For a little more oomph when I got home to grab cold pizza and rest before getting on with chores. For the bare branches, evergreens and bright budded ones seen from my window...and the sea, of course, waving at me...

Monday, 20 March 2017

I can see for smiles and smiles and...

I give thanks for all the people who've taken the time to comment lately on things they've seen on my blog. Your participation and appreciation is appreciated! I'm a woman with a mission to come up on your screens and make you smile - with apologies to the person whose profile that's adapted from. No, actually thanks to that person ha ha ;-) It makes me smile too when I know I've succeeded in some way.

That's what this is all about after all, that's why it began and why it carries on. In fact that should really be the response to the comment I hear most often which is 'I don't know how you do it!' I don't know how not to now!  I give thanks to Carol who showed me the way to set up on blogger in the beginning, and for all those who encouraged me at the start when not only was I facing up to the fact I'd been told I didn't have long to live, but also that the life I'd had had been a pretty lonely, luckless thing. I wanted to see if it were possible to make love out of nothing and make the world a warmer place without two human sticks to rub together, a furry friend, a hand to hold... And I give thanks I found out you can! Though of course if you can get your hands on a furry human to rub that is even warmer...

Meanwhile, back at the cold face of infirmity, I give thanks for spending as much of the morning as I dared catching up on the sleep that slipped from me during the night. For getting done the stuff on the must be done list with copious rests between to let sore bits recuperate. For the remarkably random nature of the pain, so that although for parts of the day I pretty much had to drag my leg behind me if I wanted to move from one room to the other, as moving the leg itself hurt too much to do... one time, after one short lie down, I stood up straight and could walk about comfortably and normally for a while. I give thanks this was just before Laura arrived to I could greet her and make a drink and so on without making a meal of it. I give thanks for the gift of her meal -  the most utterly excellent tartiflette! I had some for my lunch with a bit of purple sprouting. Heavens, it was good!

I give thanks for Bob booking his ticket to ride and that he's planning to be here for a couple of days next week. For him finally deciding what he'd like for Christmas and it being exactly what I'd thought to give him but thought I'd better check. For us both feeling pretty smiley about it.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Every piggy tells a story

The pain was very painy last night, and the neighbours rather too, but I give thanks for being woken up by both at the same time...and after a while of being a bit cross about her upstairs being so cross at two am, by three it was quite amusing as I could hear her literally pacing round the room. Didn't think anyone actually did that outside of Victorian melodrama...wonder if she sees a red mist too? Poor thing, she was kicking off again later this morning with so much screaming and smashing of things it crossed my mind to get out of bed and record it to play to visitors who say to me (as if I'm under some strange kind of delusion) 'I've never heard a thing from upstairs!' I give thanks I couldn't be bothered though because it seems a bit mean and mocking somehow...

Anyway, talking of forbearance and forbears, I give thanks for the fascinating and very readable 'Inventing the Victorians' which was mentioned as a source of information in the Essex Serpent - also highly recommended! They seem to have got up to far more than we may have been led to believe...and in many ways we tend to think we invented!

I give thanks my carnivorous cravings have been subdued for now and for conceving of and producing a sort of vegetarian chicken soup in the slow cooker, made with Quorn pieces, broth mix and odds and ends of celery, sweet potato etc.

I give thanks Bob the breakfast maker has confirmed he will be here before the month is out... and by one of those random cosmic interventions that please me so, Laura rang earlier and said (among other things obviously) 'I'm making a tartiflette, would you like me to make a little one for you and would you like bacon in it?'

Oh and for anyone still wondering... the second toe is the one you tweak on children's feet and say 'This little piggy stayed at home'. This little piggy stayed at home again today, dreamt of going to market funnily enough (though as a stall holder not a commodity), ate lots and lots of food...and, though the pain continued to be pretty dreadful for much of the day, managed not to be too dread full and dreary about it. For that she was truly thankful!
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