Wednesday 30 November 2011

Phew

Phew! I'm grateful the ironing's done... and that I didn't quite cremate the apple crumble I made earlier. That's about the sum total of my accomplishments today...

I'm grateful for the Killing which has to be watched so closely as I've said before I know but is so absorbing that you don't notice you're not getting anything else done apart from gawp at the screen. I'm grateful for remembering to add a couple more little joys to my blog to spin out the time til I watch the latest episode.

I give thanks for the sound of the wind and the rain and the thundering sea...and hot water in the water tank to get me clean and to go in my hot water bottle to keep me warm.



Oh, and I'm grateful the tree outside my window looked like this just before the leaves began to drop so I could see the sea. See, no sea to be seen!

Boo

Good morning! Well it was when I started writing this but neither my laptop nor my internet connection were in a very good mood...let alone my hands...don't even let's go there on my hands!

So...Good day to you all! What a fine get up and at 'em morning...I don't know about you guys but I've been to all four corners of my flat already. The technology has been beaten into submission for now and my hands have said they're OK to type if they can do reduced shifts so we're off again.I would like to express gratitude for the improvements outlined above and also for...

Dan O reminding us all of the Boo Radleys' Wake up Boo...lovely cheery start to the day

That reminding me of Green Day's Basket Case. Never mind why...who knows, eh? This is a track I also, perhaps perversely, adore. Basket cases everywhere...shake the bits you can! Readers under forty may be smiling in nostalgia already, those between forty and fifty indulging in a foot tap or maybe a bit of a dad dance even if they were born with girly bits. And, I suspect, the majority of readers in the second part of their first century will be saying music wasn't what it used to be, ha ha!

For the internet and all the ways it can make us happier...as long as we know to stop there...

For all the extra sea I see in winter... Duh! Forgot to add the pic the first time didn't I? And no, that's not the top of my head in the middle of it!

I give thanks for those little bits of days when I feel relatively OK. For knowing that thinking of that gives me an extra one for free...

For Bob saying he'll get me the gift I asked for for Christmas. There are so few things I really want that money can actually buy...I'm so glad I thought of something so he can.

For helping Tony see something troubling him in a different way...

For remembering to put a bad news sounding title so the bad news gobblers come and munch it up and get cheery stuff in their heads instead.

Tuesday 29 November 2011

Second post

Been watching a programme about nomadic Americans...there are an estimated 3 million of them roaming around in fancy RVs and 90% of them are over 55. Blooming heck, I know America's a big place but that's a lot of people! Most are in couples, 'straight' and middle class, and most have sold their homes to do this so it must have some impact on the housing market too...

I'm rambling aren't I? Sorry - not feeling too good today... Um, I'm grateful for...um, TV...and most especially BBC4...and being able to record the good evening stuff to watch during the day when it isn't on...for jacket potatoes and tuna you don't even have to open the tin for....for a wrong number earlier who thought I was a plumber, which was ironic in the circs, and also made me chuckle cos they always insist it's YOU, the person picking up the phone, who's wrong don't they? That you just need to have another think and you'll be the person they'd prefer to be speaking to!... I'm grateful I wrote and went out to post a letter and that there's a post box so near by ...and for having nothing that I have to do, so I can rest up and hope it's only a cold coming on or some such.

Five easy pieces

I give thanks for my comfy bed...a soothing place to be when when body and mind are not.
For solid walls, roof, floor and foundations (I hope!)
For electricity and a beside light
For clean sheets, plump duvet and soft pjs
For a hot water bottle to hug in the night

Monday 28 November 2011

Never judge a biscuit by its box

Ay up! Busy busy day here...took me half the morning just to wake up and another hour to get up but I did do some decorating chores as well as go out yesterday. One of the two is usually plenty for me so no wonder two required extra recuperation. I'm still feeling gratitude that I did choose yesterday to go out because it was such a lovely day for it and today had been a lovely one for staying in. I'm grateful I sorted out some of the muddle from what I'd been doing so that space could be made for Laura to make the muddle for her part of the work...and I'm grateful for bit more general doneness. I'm grateful for negotiating all the extra items temporarily clogging my bedroom to change the sheets and things and for a mild but breezy day to help the laundry dry by an open window. And the paint that's not.

I'm grateful a new week starting of Come Dine With Me, for tea without cunctation (see above) of tomato and basil soup laced with chopped garlic and grated cheese. For the Co-op Truly Irresistible Fruit and Oat Cookies which I picked up by mistake for another flavour and which have been languishing in the cupboard for weeks as I thought they sounded dull. They are not! For marzipan. Just marzipan. Doesn't need to be wrapped in chocolate or wrapped round a cake. And for an early night which, neighbours and infirmities willing, I suspect may be on the way.

Sunday 27 November 2011

Magical Mystery Tour

Yay! I finally got to our local museum...it's only been four years since I moved here! To be fair I moved shortly before it shut for the winter the first time and it was closed for ages to be rebuilt, over a year. It's a beautiful building inside and out and I'm so glad I went before it closes for this winter this week. Gratitude for feeling bright and breezy enough on a bright and breezy day...For a sparkly sea and happy dogs on the beach...even a few humans had jolly expressions for a change! Especial thanks to the miniature Yorkshire Terrier chasing it's Labrador friend and flying with all four feet off the ground as much as actually running, making me laugh out loud.

For finding a website with pictures of cargo ships coming in and out of our little town harbour (each to their own, eh?) For watching the first part of Martin Scorcesi's film about George Harrison - Living in the Material World for the nostalgia and for the once in a bunch of Sundays feeling of hearing another human being talk what I call sense (as above, ha ha!) This was last night actually so it was spooky in a nice way to see a piece of footage from it again today in the museum because that clip was filmed in a hotel here at the start of making the Magical Mystery Tour. What goes around comes around quickly sometimes...

For finding a narrow bladed scraper/filler that's been missing for months. I found it nestled amongst the fronds of my big bushy plant by the sink...just minutes after finishing for the foreseeable future all the jobs I could have used it for! For watching Tsonga playing tennis...it's not that he's cute, although he may indeed be...it's that he refuses to be 'managed' and thus plays a bit more of a intuitive and game than some. One of the best matches I've seen for ages. For spinach and feta pie and apple crumble for my tea, easy to make and even easier in the eating...

Blow by blow

Ooh listen to the howling wind...I love that! It's not actually very windy here down south but I'm high enough up a hill and a building to get the impression without the damage. I know some people hate the sound but for those who do my top tip in our double glazed life is not to quite lock shut your frames so that there's just enough break in the seal to get the impression without the draught. On second thoughts maybe only advisable if you live where only giants could break in!

I meant to get back to my blog last night but needed to rest instead. I needed to rest so much I fell asleep in Q3 and woke up to see everyone patting Vettel on the back so I decided I hadn't missed much!

So to catch up on the rest of the good news:

*I give thanks to Pat for her compliments (not 'complements' which is how you spell alternative...you get an education here, ha ha!),
*for all butter shortbread biscuits - even cheapy store brand ones are delicious
*and for remembering the even yummier ones an ex boyfriend's mother did
*for the purply colour tree trunks and branches go just before darkness
*for a random clump of sunset pink clouds in the north yesterday evening when the rest of the sky was uniformly grey. It either hadn't read the Ladybird book of weather or was just had a rebellious nature...
*for finding a way of leaving my sofa/bed/thingy in the middle of the room while I work on the skirting board behind it
*for working on it a bit
*for stopping

Saturday 26 November 2011

Dream job

Oh my ears and whiskers, I had the BEST job in my dream this morning...I was a view inspector!!! I had to go round checking views were beautiful enough...all to do with the Department of Outdoor Enjoyment apparently. Find the country that has one and go there...it has the most fabulous scenery! You can send me a postcard in appreciation of my contribution to its beauty and I'm sending my subconscious a bouquet of brain cells for coming up with such an excellent idea...

It seemed especially special to wake up to as I was rather unwell in the night and couldn't sleep, unlike my neighbour upstairs who passed out with her radio still blaring til past four am. I'm grateful for the opportunities to practice what I preach and stay calm in the face of adversity. I amused myself with word puzzles and articles in a stack of old Radio Times kept for that very purpose and trying to decide whether if I died in the night and wasn't found for several days I'd be too decomposed for a wicker coffin and woodland burial. And, if she died in the night, how many days would I have to endure the radio before someone would break in and turn it off! Methinks I've been watching too much CSI perhaps, or perhaps not enough as I'm sure those scenarios must have been dealt with in an episode some time or another!

I'm grateful to wake up too feeling relatively OK...well enough to get and eat a cuppa and a crumpet anyway. All of us here in the Valley of the Shadow get these episodes when we spot the very thin man with a very toothy smile lugging a scythe and a door around in anticipation. Fret not nor fear, it's what we're really here for...to get through this bit to the one where death has no dominion.

I give thanks to Julie for saying hello (hope Summer is helping with your seasonal blues) and to Angie for not sending in the women in white coats. I give thanks to Ivor and Heidi for getting me some lining paper and send warm thoughts to Pat getting her home ready for coming home from her hospital stay next week. I send to the cosmos the thought that either a bout of unexpected vigorous health on my part or an amiably available chauffeur would enable me to collect the purchase from the former and pop in to say hello to the latter as they're not going to be very far apart. You have to be careful how you word your wishes though...I longed for my alopecia to end and look what I got!

To be fair though...I did say I wanted my hair back and this clearly belongs to someone else. Maybe if they'd like to claim it my follicles could produce something a bit less Starsky and Hutch. In the meantime, in the spirit of spreading good cheer I thought I ought to give you all the opportunity to have a chuckle. I'm thinking maybe I could forget about a tree this year and just decorate my hair. It's quite strong enough to support tinsel and maybe some small baubles too!

Friday 25 November 2011

Trending now

I'm not sure about this 'popular posts' link I've put at the side. You know whenever you see a list of things that are currently most searched for or read there's always something that makes you wonder what it was about and then you boost the numbers by searching or reading it too. In conjunction with something I have noticed over the few months I've been doing this ie. that mostly the posts with the more negative sounding titles get more hits...that means they just get more and more! Now me, if I was looking down the list of titles I'd think 'Ooh, Dog and Pineapple' what's that about? Or Inspiration...or Dreamtime...but I write something like 'Stuck' and suddenly twice as many people read it! Now I'm thinking I could play some games here. What if my next post was called 'Unstuck'...would that be perceived as a juicy account of my life falling apart or just more boring old pollyanna gratitudes? Hmmm!

Anyway, for now apologies to tabloid readers everywhere but I'm just going to carry on telling you what I feel good about in the hope that it bucks the trend...And for this evening these pearls of perkiness are...

Dear Dr Galli calling to ask how I was doing and form the next part of our plan to keep me mostly upright a little longer...

Having a double yoked egg for my lunch earlier. Don't know why they should make you happy but they always do somehow!

Finding by accident via Amazon that a shop that started out as one little room in one little Welsh town with a counter full of mixed ex army and civil service tat is now a quite a business empire. Well done Cheap Charlie's...sorry Charlie's Direct, ha ha! And for mentioning it on Facebook which led to a little chat with someone I've not seen for many years...

Having my new liquidiser make soup out of cooked vegetables without once saying 'Oh no, not soup again! Wouldn't you rather have a milkshake for tea?'. I like the design of the lid so you can give stuff a poke if it sticks without taking the whole thing off and that I can reach to poke without having to take it off the base. My old one was designed for someone taller I think...who didn't like soup.

For ricecakes. People say they taste like polystyrene but I've never eaten polystyrene so I wouldn't know. Why would you want to when rice cakes taste so good, ha ha!

Happiness is a warm bun...

... a fruity one with butter for breakfast! Though big pants help in the colder weather too!

I give thanks for the heat of the sun melting its way through hazy clouds above the sea earlier, and for leaving my window open a crack the better to hear the howling winds last night.

I give thanks for remembering my Metta meditation when my brain was too buzzy to sleep. I wish you all would remember to do it, especially when stressed or in pain...though you might be less so if I remember you in mine, ha ha! I do a very simple westernised version that always reminds me of the 'God bless' listing prayers some of us learn as children though there's no mention of God so its suitable for all faiths and none. It always makes me feel peaceful and warm straight away and I could that encourage you to believe these effects are physically real by showing you a picture of a brain scan apparently. Any brain scan! Research has shown (Oh, that hackneyed phrase!) readers accord more authenticity to articles accompanied by images of lit up parts of brains!

I give thanks for finding a bit of a kindred spirit in Rachel...she is the only other person I've ever met who is interested in quantum physics AND dressmaking. The only other person I've ever met who decided not to become a Buddhist nun...I mean who actually considered it and decided to take the challenge of living the world but without being totally caught up in its inconsequentialities. Sitting cross legged training the mind all day is a different sort of challenge. Well done to Mark I used to work with for currently giving it a go for 10 days on retreat though...all good thoughts to him.

Thursday 24 November 2011

Thanksgiving

Well, I've ranted a bit on CC and I've ranted a bit on here and seem to have upset some folks and I'm sorry for that, but not for what I've said. The happiness squared project must go on as must my 'against the rules' survival!

So this afternoon and evening so far I've been delightfully grateful for...

* finally getting the hang of the very US orientated website and managing to order a parcel of treats for my pen pal on death row

* a thick fairy crescent (not a whole ring) of toadstools on a grassy bank by the side of the road

* a great chat and swap of small kindnesses with Rachel who also made me a cup of tea...oh and gave me some acupuncture too, ha ha!

* a thoughtful letter from my neurologist saying even though he hadn't found anything obviously wrong he understood this wasn't very reassuring and to let him know if I wanted to talk about it more

* cold pizza on the sea front beforehand and a walk along it in the darkness after. Lots of spray and hardly any people - great!

* trying out the yarn I bought yesterday and confirming it will make a nice little scarf for one of the local charity fundraisers and an easy don't-need-to-look-at-my-hands craft project whule watching TV. Now where's that remote control?

Inspiration

Today I give thanks for a very long lie in...my acupuncture appointment is later than usual today and I'm trying to work some sunshine up so it's not too cold to eat cold pizza for a late lunch on the seafront beforehand.

I give thanks to Jack for his messages (I wrote massages at first but luckily spotted my Freudian finger slip before hitting 'publish post')...I give thanks to everyone for theirs but hearing from Jack is a new treat...

I give thanks for making myself laugh out loud in the kitchen just now. I'd gone in for something but couldn't remember what and was wondering out loud while looking round the room for inspiration when I spotted the kettle and said (also out loud and in a wistful, hopeful, almost Oliver-ish tone) 'A cup of tea perhaps?'. I give thanks for nurturing my inner workhouse child and making myself a cuppa to take back to bed...and for chopping some veggies to roast for soup while it brewed.

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Back to basics

Hello folks...I'm going to keep this as brief as possible tonight as I'm very tired and still not in a chatty chirpy mood. Sometimes, meaning well, people say 'Oh it's OK to moan' and indeed it may be...but not in a gratitude based blog if it's going to do what it says on the tin! My whole point of writing this is to think of things I've appreciated in a day and to pass them on so that other people think of happy things. If I saying I'm miserable about this or that and readers start going 'Ooh I know what you mean, me too!' or something I've said seems incredibly feebly connected to joy and someone mistakes it for a whinge then that's a fail in my book...or in my blog rather!

I can, and probably will at some points be sad or angry or disappointed or whatever but I'm going to go back to keeping these posts about a minimum of five things in a day that I've appreciated in some way unless there's it's absolutely necessary to recount something bad to set the scene for something good that turned everything around. Sometimes I'll wax lengthy and lyrical no doubt, other times when scraping the barrel of my perceptions for perkiness I'll be brief...

We can all qualify things negatively...'but' this, 'if only' that, 'it would have been better if' something else but it has a cumulative effect and we stop noticing how much is going on after a while. A cumulative positive effect can be created too. It's just pushing uphill against our cultural norms.

Anyway, enough of the lecture. I give thanks that I went out and it wasn't rainy or cold but not a day of glorious weather wasted on retail estates. I give thanks for finding out where not to look for lining paper... I give thanks for two top deck front seats on the buses. I give thanks I rediscovered how dire visiting my nearest Asda is and won't need to refresh my memory for a while... I give thanks for getting boring basics at the Co-op when I got back so I don't have to go to go to any supermarket again for a while... I give thanks for pizza with extra home added toppings, an immersion heater...and woolly socks and track pants after a day in boots and jeans. Oh yes... and for knowing the best way to cut pizza is with scissors!

Stuck

What a beautiful dawn sky there was today! Glowing stripey sky fading to pastels behind the bare branched trees. Um...that's it...that's all I'm grateful for! Sorry, I'm just such a misery just now. I was going to go out and get lining paper as we'd run out but the friend who has been helping me just texted to say she's got family staying and doesn't want to come this week and I burst into tears once again. That's all I seem to do lately and it really bleeps me off. I'm always stuck on my own and stuck with stuff I can't do - why do I deal with it so well some of the time and others just become unstuck and sink? The reasons people let me down will always hurt more than the inconvenience because they'll always involve activities and relationships I can't be part of so why do I take it with a pinch of salt some of the time and others it's like I've been peeling onions? I do find it quite unsettling having every room apart from the bathroom affected by the disruption from the delayed decorating but I do get that my need for harmonious surroundings is linked with my unharmonious personal life. I'm grateful I have a roof over my head and windows with great views to look out of wistfully.

And I'm grateful I'm not full of anger and hate. I don't even hate myself when I get depressed. A lifetime of isolation does not create great social skills. I do my best with what I've got and try harder when I realise I've failed. I have an important role to play in life (even though it's rarely a speaking part!) and I'm proud that I'm learning to play it. There's a need for a scapegoat that others can blame, the human elastic that can give when time is stretched, the person to make people realise how precious other people are, the outsider to make you more aware of the comfort and safety of belonging.

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Jolly good show

Sky changed it's TV channel packaging a while back and as a result I can now watch all manner of programmes at no extra charge that you'd have to be mad to pay for. Still, a little of what you wouldn't normally fancy can fill in a dark sofa bound hour or two and there is the odd gem to be found like a history of the Red Arrows on the quaintly named Men & Movies channel. It began with the Wright brothers so a bit of a slow start but which was made in 1994 so even the new stuff was historic but some delightfully gobsmacking footage with very stiff upper liply enunciated commentary. As I say, a gem...one felt a collar and tie and short back and sides were really required for viewing, don't you know!

So I give thanks for that and for this week's CDWM which so far, if it were sketches in a comedy show rather than real Brummie people being themselves, would receive complaints I'm sure! There are some rum characters around that's for certain! I'm grateful the nurse came before it got too dark to get safely down the first flight of stairs (legal action has been taken on that, by the way) but the sun had set and it was too late to be much fun going out to do anything on my own. Maybe tomorrow eh? I give thanks that in a huff of indignant resentment after being told I needed to be assessed not only for risk of pressure sores but for risk of malnutrition too, I attacked some more picture rail and skirting after she'd gone. And that there was another helping of my nutty veg crumble left from last night to pop in the oven after. I give thanks for Magnum mini Irish cream choc ice too. I think one could become somewhat addicted. They're not really alcoholic
are they? Malnutrition, me? Never!

Oh well, I'd better see what the increasingly irritating Horatio is up to this week...

Fidget

I thought if the nurses came in the morning for my afternoon appointment I might go out this afternoon, not for a w-a-l-k exactly (thought maybe if I spelt the words out letter by letter like you do not to get dog's over excited out it might help!) but to a bus stop and take a ride somewhere. Not going o-u-t this time of year makes it harder for anyone who suffers from SAD (you spell that, one out anyway!) even if they don't have their curtains up! We need to squeeze every bit of daylight we can into our brains. But...Grrr, they seem to have got it right this week!

Never mind I give thanks for the privacy...some might think because I can for days on end without a conversion I'd be delighted with any verbal exchange I can get but no, it makes me more fussy if anything. I'm like...I haven't had more than two words said to me all week and I have to put up with this drivel! Cantankerous old bat, I know! We get what we deserve don't we? I'm really missing some of the people I thought were my friends at the moment, and I take on board my ill humour and intolerance was probably a contributing factor to their departure. Doesn't help though...

And it's been a day of some technical insubordination so far, I've already had a fight with a web site and my printer so maybe I should be grateful for not the bus not running or leaving my purse somewhere or something! I give thanks for the sight of sunshine brightening the hills I can see through my back window and making the river I can see at the side dazzling bright. It's these sights that are calling to me, making me fidget and sigh...

Monday 21 November 2011

Non-walking blues

Tiggs was on Facebook this morning saying she'd been in floods of tears but had channel hopped (on TV, not on a ferry!) and had found something to cheer her up. Well, it was the other way round for me...I was perfectly cheerful and had just brought my tea into the living room to eat and I turned on the TV and it was still on BBC1HD from watching tennis earlier and Wainwright's Walks was just starting with sumptuous ariel images of the Lake District and suddenly I was sobbing. I'd already learnt to do without so many things and people before I got sick, and since then a whole bunch more but it's the walking that breaks my heart. I used to be able to walk my other blues away but there ain't no way to lose the non-walking kind...a hug from a trekking companion who understood my need to stride out would help but they all walked away. So I just have to sniff and wait til I forget again.

Luckily I managed to quickly, quickly find something else just starting that was totally gripping tale - a documentary on the Crime and Investigation channel about a very long serial rape investigation in South Yorkshire. Almost twenty years they took to find this guy as their evidence pre-dated DNA testing but when it came in although they had a profile they didn't have a match. What they did have, however, were some dogged detectives led by a wonderful down to earth Northern woman who just kept right on looking everywhere, including in her spare time, until she got her man. She and her team seemed such sensible, thorough and dedicated characters it made your feel if something bad had to happen to you Rotherham was the best place!

I give thanks for having my mind distracted by this and a selection of US drivel shows later about extreme couponing and hoarding etc and for the chap who did the former so he could donate the goods to local charities. That was actually pretty neat. I give thanks to my new mixer for making me nutty crumble to go on veggies in cheese sauce for my tea. This is only the second thing I've done with it and still using the same piece of kit but I decided to see if it would fit in the cupboard after and, as it would, cleaned the cupboard ready to be worthy of it...so I give thanks for that too.

Very Important Parts

Bloody hell, when Andy Murray's good he's good! Just makes it seem worse when he isn't though, I suppose. Never mind, Ferrer has those Spanish eye candy looks so it's win win for me either way! Much gratitude for more tennis to watch in the afternoon...and for my busyness in the morning making exercising not much more than my eyes ideal pm pastime. I wasn't busy all of the morning of course but about as much as I can manage these days with short stints scraping and sanding skirting board and picture rail ready for layers undercoat, filler and paint as required. I've less than three metres of each to go on the 'home straight' joining up where I've done each end of the long wall behind the sofa that's really a bed and I've made a start. Trouble is I have to move the sofa that's really a bed to work there and there's nowhere else it can really go except back again afterwards. And the going back is a very important part of the day!

I'm grateful for hazy grey but still mild weather so staying indoors is not a chore, apart from the chores...and I give thanks for seeing via Facebook Bob had spotted the same news clip as me and had remarked on the same part (the scared birds flying by the blown up Scottish tower block). Nature or nuture I wonder...

I'm grateful for a very jolly Tesco man bringing me some groceries...and for Green & Black's delicious almond chocolate. Green & Black's is a very important part of the delivery, ha ha!

Sunday 20 November 2011

...so I'll finish

Congratulations to Lynn for the first correct answer...You have a choice of prizes...you can have this or this, ha ha!

I'm particularly grateful I did my Tesco order earlier as my internet went down this afternoon. As I'd been crawling around behind the telly I thought it was my fault but the fault was area wide according to the website which I managed to access briefly on my phone...the signal here's a bit erratic for web connection. I often write my posts in instalments anyway to give my hands a rest (much needed after painting the bit of wall I intended to and doing a bit of filling AND doing some vacuuming. Much gratitude for so much done!) So I'm doing a few sentences and saving and seeing how far I can get.

I give thanks for the tennis, good fun...and for the Killing. I couldn't remember why I liked it so much and there are so many reasons nothing to do with the acting or characters or plot. The scenery, the buildings inside and out, the big boats, the relentless weather...the foreignness and the subtitles so you have to pay full attention...the camera angles, the lighting, the understated direction and production. I give thanks for all of the above! And I give thanks for the trampolining on the red button which I found when I was looking for more tennis. I've never watched it before and I expected to see strung oblongs like we used to play on at the beach but they have all manner of bouncy apparatus. They had men tumbling along a long springy platform when I watched and flying through the air...breathtaking!

Oooh look my little green light's back! I give thanks for the Sky chaps sorting that out as well...

I've started...

I hear from friends up north the weather is wintry there but it's very pleasant here just now. In fact if I didn't have so much to do indoors I'd be tempted to go outdoors but I haven't got the energy for both! There's some tennis on TV later this afternoon and the deal is I've moved the telly to finish sanding and sealing stretch of wall behind so if I get that done I can move it back and watch! I give thanks for a windows wide open day to let the sunshine in...I give thanks for finally being out of bed to do it! I give thanks that I fancy a few beans on a little slice of toast and that I have the wherewithal to provide it. I give thanks that so many of the things I want to buy are on special offer at Tesco's!

Oh yes...and there's an invisible prize for anyone who can guess what the title of my next post will be...

Saturday 19 November 2011

Mixture as before

My new mixer thingy made me a nice chocolate sponge to go on top of some stewed fruit and under some cream earlier. That was nice of it wasn't it? I mean it's not as if we've known each other long and it didn't mind that I changed my mind from crumble and throw cocoa round the kitchen in a huff! Cocoa can be very huffy and puffy can't it? I give thanks for the first proof of pudding anyway!

I wanted something comforting to eat while I watched East is East. Not that it's not comforting itself, it is, on the whole, a heartwarming film and I saw it when it first came out and sometimes you want to watch something you've seen before don't you? But I do struggle with the shortening days and this last few weeks before the solstice I begin to feel almost claustrophobic as the light disappears in the middle of the afternoon. I'm wondering if putting the curtains up would help or hinder...it's a quite a hassle getting the big steps out if it turns out to be a hinder! I know it would be better if I could wake up a bit earlier but that's part of the problem...as soon as the last rocket's gone off on November 5th I'm ready to hibernate til the first snowdrops appear! Anyway I give thanks for East is East. It's set in areas and an era I knew and with Space hoppers and Bedford vans and stretchy white plastic boots...all of which I was too young to have personally you understand but which I saw around and about.

I give thanks for QI for lightening my darkness. I'm a few weeks behind so plenty more to look forward to. There's a German comedian I've not encountered before on the one I just saw. He made some jokes about 'the war'...now that's not something you hear every day! I give thanks for Redbush tea...for cleaning the bathroom and getting some ironing done...and for not having stuffy central heating though you may here a different view before those snowdrops appear!

Recharge

For anyone who has read Lynn's very honest comment about unused appliances and can identify, here's my tip of the day: get rid of them all and buy a...bet you think I'm going to say a food processor don't you? Nope! Get a popcorn maker instead. It's fun to watch it work and you can be lazy on the sofa with a tasty TV snack in ten! I bought one for someone else once and tried it out and wished wished wished that I'd bought one for me!

I give thanks today for the hazy still weather which matches my mood so well! I slept late and woke up and then slept some more but have bustled about the last couple of hours so time for some lea and lounging. I give thanks for a few still edible salad items and some ready made nibbly things from the freezer...they will keep me going for now. I give thanks for a slice or two of Heidi's apple cake I found in there yesterday that has kept me going so far. And for stopping going and stopping for a recharge now...

Chop and change

Did you watch that programme about the queen's 'secret' cousins last night? I recorded it and watched it this afternoon so it made a poignant intro to Children in Need. How times have changed in our attitudes but it's easy to disown and forget the past the past like people were disowned and forgotten. There were many of those vast Victorian buildings dotted about the countryside in Wales...some of them had 'short stay' wards where people from the neighbouring communities might stay after some breakdown or episode. I visited a few people in them and they could be very forbidding places. When they were closed down and the long term residents rehoused in the late nineties I was working for Social Services delivering 'care in the community' in various ways. Some former patients, especially the more elderly ones, found the upheaval to such a different way of life very hard to adjust to but others suddenly blossomed like those tiny tightly folded paper Chinese flowers you put in water. There were those who originally had so very little wrong with them apart from being a little slow and having a physical disability and offending sensibilities in some way so that their lives could be signed away. An unmarried deaf girl having a baby perhaps, a young man with some mental health problems who relieved himself on the street after a night at his local and was charged with indecent exposure. Thirty, forty, fifty years in these underfunded primitive institutions and you usually come out worse than you went in. Though of course the intention originally was that you stayed put til you died. We heard and read stories so sad. I give thanks for the privilege of knowing and working with some of those special souls, and in some of the most enlightened local authority projects around.

There but for the grace of something...I thought of the learning disabled kids in the little children's home I was in - waiting to be old enough for places like that maybe. And I thought about me, in there because I ran away from my unhappy home and having to stay because, I guess, it was happier with me out of the way. One of my mum's boyfriends asked about me once and was told apparently 'Oh, we don't talk about her!' Still at least I wasn't listed as dead...like the queen's cousins...and can still talk about them. I give thanks for coming so far without all the care we now know that children need, and for all the care I did have.

On a lighter note...I was mystified as to why everyone was getting so worked up about a mere food processor. Doesn't everyone have them, I thought? And then I realised no, we usually make do with those plug in whisky thingies now don't we? Well I've got one of those and it's OK as far as it goes, and an old liquidiser/grinder with blunt blades and a leaking lid which isn't, and a Kenwood Chefette electric whisk which was the latest thing when my mum had it more than forty years ago but weighs a ton...but I used to have a food processor when Bob was toddler and it did all manner of useful tasks I thought I'd get another and not have to wash up all the pieces of kit that failed to chop, slice, liquidise, grate and crumb (as well as the knife and the board and my fingers I have to go back to). Now I've looked at the price of some of them I can see why everyone's getting so worked up! No, no, not one of those! I'm not a domestic goddess just a vegetarian who likes home made food and whose hands don't work very well! Trust me, this is quite small and basic and wasn't expensive even before it was half price but it had good reviews. I'm grateful for the money to buy the thing of course and but I'm not going to decide for sure if I'm grateful for it itself until I've made nut roast, coleslaw and crumble, the proof of the pudding is in the processor!

Friday 18 November 2011

More joy of sofa

The thing in that box I brought home yesterday - it was a new food processor! Half price in a sale so the right price for me! I unpacked it in the evening and there are lots of bright and shiny pieces but I don't really feel like eating much today so haven't tried it out yet. The box has come in handy though...protected by plastic (in case the processor has to go back) it's now holding up one end of the shelf that's lying in wait to be painted on the kitchen floor! Setting it up is as far as I've got with that but you never know, I might go into the kitchen later and think oooh, I'll just dash off a layer of that. Afterall there will have to be quite a few layers on each side so hopefully that will happen a lot over the next few days!

I'm often quite buzzy and energetic after my treatment and yesterday did quite a lot of low key this and that quite late into the night...I knew I'd probably be tired today but just thought I'd go with the flow instead of going to bed and not sleeping. I give thanks for reconnecting with pre decorating craft tasks, knitting a few rows and crocheting a little square. This was partly inspired by finding a ball of the same turquoise blue yarn I'd found one of somewhere else some months ago and which opens up the design possibilities of the cot blanket that it's part of. I had to compare the two to check I'd remembered it right and remind myself of the pattern by doing a bit. Aren't brains wonderful things storing all that stuff for us so we don't need Filofaxes and mood boards and all that stuff? I give much thanks to mine!

Thank you too to the Sue Ryder shop...and to whoever it is who keeps it stocks with things I might like to buy. Got a few promising paperbacks there as well as I knew there weren't many pages left in the biography/social history/general musing book I'd had my nose stuck into every since my last visit.

I'm particularly grateful for my bed and sofa and TV today, for the comfort and joy of being able to take rest when you need it. I'm also grateful for little flurries of cleaning in the kitchen which had accumulated a fine layer of sawdust on top of the dust and which I wanted to remove before starting with the paint...but mostly for the sofa!,

Thursday 17 November 2011

One hand clapping

Well, I've shopped and I've dropped! Note to self: avoid retail encounters after acupuncture. I would normally but today I had to pick up a large package. I didn't know quite how big it would be or I would have got everything else first. Hey ho, I'm home again anyway and after a busy week so far I have that feeling you get just before you have time off from work, a Thursday before a long weekend feeling. Nice!

I give thanks for the various therapies of my day... Essential (I can't really call it complementary or alternative as there's nothing else on offer!) and retail. I bought some Manuka honey and cider vinegar which I've heard several people say works wonders for their arthritis and a 'medium' size stretchy hand support but I could have almost fitted both of mine in and still have room to clap so the wrong sort of hand support maybe! Never mind, that's a bonus for the charity shop bag.

I give thanks for tasty Tesco vegetable samosas and melt in the mouth locally made chocolate medallions...dark chocolate with amaretti crisp and milk chocolate with caramel are my current favourites I think. For the smell of Earl Grey tea when you open a new packet and the sound of hot water falling from kettle to cup. For finding out a new series of the Killing starting on Saturday... The first series was one of the most gripping detective dramas I have ever seen or read. For being snug on my sofa with a documentary on cougars and cubs to watch right now...NOT a natural history programme, ha ha! For the carpet man leaving me some samples to take time to choose from. I thought I wanted Willow in the shop but I'm edging towards Nutmeg now... Oh, the decadence of decision making!

And I'm grateful for my on the way to being a fake fireplace/temporary router stand. It improves the dimensional dynamics of the room and fills me with self congratulatory smugness. Just got to fill and undercoat and paint though not sure which colour(s) yet. You want a sneak preview anyway?

Getting it up

Oh what a beautiful morning! What a pity my feeble Sky router doesn't like not being on the shelf (there's a few of us would swap with it, ha ha!) so I haven't been able to post my comment on Tony's blog or reply to Tiggs's Facebook message yet but am having to store these words until I've coaxed it back into responsive life.

I used to work for large and well known telecommunications company you know, I used to hear a lot of people moaning about the quality of their modems, routers and hubs and now know how very privileged they were to have them! Best ever ever was the Voyager 210...no, not wireless but so reliable and solid. I've still actually got mine in a cupboard actually partly 'just in case' and partly out sentimentality. They were among the first bits of kit widely used for that new fangled broadband thingy and we were among the chosen (condemned?) few to guide bemused punters through set up and connection. It took a while to get the terminology to trip lightly but appropriately off the tongue. On several early calls I had my colleagues in stitches when I asked in all innocence 'Have you ever had it [ie. the internet] up sir?'...'Have you ever had it on?' wasn't much better!

Anway, I've decided what I'm going to try is moving the fireplace and see if the router would be happier on that until the shelf is back on the wall. This may not seem an easy option but my 'fireplace' was only constructed yesterday out of scraps of wood and skirting. It is freestanding and will respond to a shove!

I'm grateful for Alan's interpretation of my instructions...nothing wrong with that that filler and paint won't cure...and that the fire I bought to set into a fake chimney breast that has been looking naked all these years now has it's undergarments on! I'm grateful that I've had a spur to get myself out of bed and the for the glorious sunshine streaming through the windows and sparkling on the sea.

I also express gratitude for all of you who have made kindly and complimentary comments here and elsewhere regarding my wit and wisdom. I love the idea that I can help spread happinesses in some way...after all this is why I'm writing this blog, it'a not just because I like the look of my own voice, ha ha!

Wednesday 16 November 2011

State of the art

I'm still here...not buried under sawdust or stuck to the skirting board with paint! I am stuck to the sofa with exhaustion but that's different! When someone's here working I can't just laze around like Lady Muck...for one thing the place is all topsy turvy so it's hard to relax and for another they probably need some supervision, advice, assistance, reassurance...whatever. This time, because I'd moved so much furniture and so on it would have been waste not to get at the newly revealed walls with the scraper and filler knife etc. Just when I was winding down from that and had the sofa back and a cup of tea ready to drink on it there was a message from Laura saying she couldn't come to decorate tomorrow so could she come today instead so it was back on my feet and get back at it! I give thanks therefore to Alan and Laura for their work and of course to me for mine...for another step in several directions towards 'done'. For lots of things in a state where I can progress with them on my own when I've recovered in a day or two.

I give thanks for thinking to put an elastic bandage on my wrist to help with aches and pains and for Lush face mask, hair and bath things to soak and scrub away the grime. I give thanks for the ready meal I'll be popping in the oven for my tea shortly and for ready made entertainment on TV. I'm transfixed by a series about transgendered folks of different sorts and aspirations at the moment, it's a subject that's absolutely fascinated me ever since my teens when I first heard of it. I don't know why particularly...perhaps because I've always been comfortably in touch with my masculine side and well aware of the mixture that is inside us all and also about the curiosity of cultural perceptions of gender. Who knows! I was nonetheless astonished by what can be created by state of the art surgery nowadays. I think they all were when a girl to guy changer showed them what he looked like without his boxers! There was just this stunned silence! I give thanks for my friends who are coming at Christmas sending me a list of homemade soups to choose what I'd like them to bring. Plan A atm is to have a festive picnic lunch on a beach or tor. How cool would that be ...apart from cold ha ha!

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Night watch

Mmm. Nice nap! I'm grateful I to someone for playing some loud music and waking me up so I went out to post a letter before it got dark - waking myself up properly in the process! A tad nippier today. I'm glad I wasn't driving up the lane as there was a coach coming down it! I've seen this once before but it's not recommended as it's tricky to get two cars struggle to pass each other along there. I wonder if it's Satnav failure or just bloody mindedness on the part of the driver. Come to think of it I'm glad I wasn't walking on the lane... There's no pavements and it would have been a very tight squeeze...

I'm grateful for catching up with this week's CDWM...there's some characters on this week in Southampton! And for a selection of things I have lined up to watch later...you don't want to know, trust me! I'm grateful I've got the ribbon stitched on both curtains now and can unpick some tacking while I watch the weird things I enjoy! I'm grateful a handyman is coming to be handy tomorrow as I've a backlog of sawing and drilling jobs waiting...and that I've cleared the decks a bit (more) so he can get to them.

Pat and Carole, I hope you're keeping well, Moonbeam thanks for your message - I'll reply very soon and Lynn and Maggie I hope you're watching paint dry!

Quite interesting

Two new-to-me nurses again today...one a matron and one a student and neither of them could tell the time! They seemed quite pleasant and helpful and non-patronising and assured me they would make sure nobody came in the morning for an afternoon visit again. Yeah right! Never mind...I give thanks that I was up and able to let them in so that it's all out of the way for another week...and that nobody asked how my bottom was!

I'm definitely in sedentary mode today anyway and I give great thanks that I was so busy and bustly yesterday and have less chores to do today. I've scrambled some eggs and attended to some paperwork and I can feel a naplet coming on already! I give thanks that after a lengthy internet search I found the perfect rugs for each side of my bed...all I have to do now is persuade Bob to buy them for me for Christmas, ha ha! I chose a great watch for my birthday this year and persuaded him to buy me that so who knows! When you don't have many gifts it's nice if you have ones you notice often then you get more enjoyment out of them. I have a picture on my bedroom wall that John and Jo bought me for my fiftieth birthday that I regularly notice and remember receiving. They bought it on my birthday when I fell in love with it in the gift shop at the zoo where I'd chosen to go for a perhaps rather age inappropriate outing with them and Bob and Jared. It was an intensely cold but very memorable day and I give thanks for thinking of it now.

I give thanks also for some interesting reading on the BBC pages again today...about being nice http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15693508 and about being nasty http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15386740. I'm not implying anything by my 'expression of interest' (sometimes the articles I give links to seem to provoke strong feelings) just that they caught my eye and the fact they appeared on two consecutive days was also...er...quite interesting!

Monday 14 November 2011

Out of the way

Good evening, good evening, good evening, as Stephen Fry would say...I give gratitude just for the thought of his wordy welcome to each edition of QI!

My cunning plan worked and after a short nap and very l-o-n-g lie down doing very little I finally stirred msyelf about 6pm as that's my cut off point for drinking caffeine and I felt very keen to have a cup of tea. And then I got a few more things done...yay! I found a temporary home out of the way for my stereo and cds and tapes. the crucial part of that sentence is 'out of the way' There are a lot of things out of the living room at the moment and I'm beginning to run out of out of the way places to put them. There's stuff beside the 'spare side' of and under the bed and the kitchen table and behind the kitchen door but the shelf on the wall needs to be cleared so it can come down and be painted while the wall behind is being done so I've shuffled things around a bit more and am grateful for my great ingenuity! I'm also delighted that, against all odds I got down on my hands and knees and put a first coat of satinwood on the stretch skirting I've been working on the last week or so. This means there's now a green strip at the bottom of the walls in here as far as the eye can see. Never mind about yet about where it can't or that the latest bit still needs a second coat! It's a big psychological milestone to have the paintwork joining up on three sides of the room...when the second coat is on I can legitimately say I'm on the 'home straight' with the skirting board you see! Little things eh?

All this evening activity led to a shamefully late supper and it's past 10pm and I'm thinking dessert? indigestion? TV? Sleep? Decisions, decisions...I think my body is telling me loud and clear what it would prefer so I'd better do the decent thing and listen! I give thanks for a conference pear and a clean pair of pjs...I give thanks for a mild evening to leave the window open for that paint to air and dry and I give thanks for all the great virtual friends I've made through the Cancerchat forums and my blog. I hope you all are doing OK...Karen and Juanita I haven't heard from either of you for a while so special thoughts to you...

Pacing

Well, I've been to the dentist and I still have all my teeth! It's a murky old day...you wouldn't go out unless you had to...but I rarely go out these days unless I have to and wring every smidgen of delight I can out of every trip. Today I wished only that I could have walked faster...it's much chillier outdoors at the snail's pace I muster now! Before I used to walk so fast small children and frail old ladies would be swept off their feet at the force of air in my wake. OK, slight exaggeration maybe! I give thanks for having the strength to go out anyway...to walk down under the hill even if not exactly at full steam ahead. For the sight of the grey brown churning sea and the feel of the spray on my face. For not being excessively rude to the excessively chatty woman in the waiting room...well, chatty might not quite be the right word either...this was more of a monologue from her with occasional one liners from me!

I’d hoped to meet a friend for coffee/lunch/whatever but he couldn’t make it and I dithered whether to go to the cafe anyway. It’s not such a treat on your own somehow. So, because I was peckish, I ended up buying things to eat when I got home in almost every shop I went into...crumpets, a chocolate marzipan bar, a broccoli and stilton pasty from one of the bakeries. Haven’t tried the other things yet but the pasty was very nice! Gratitude for finding that...I’ll be buying more of those methinks!

I’m grateful for my burst of energy but I’m slowing down now. There are so many things I’d hoped to get done that remain untouched and part of me thinks I could push myself a bit more but my eyelids are drooping as I type. Perhaps a nap and then I’ll see if I could get upright and moving again.

Sunday 13 November 2011

Night all

Oh my ears and whiskers...how can I be so tired? I can't believe it's only just after eight pm... Never mind, I give thanks this evening that it won't be long before I can be back in bed!

I give thanks also for the lovely nap I had during the Grand Prix...and even more so for pressing the pause button before I nodded off! I give thanks for a great race...don't get the impression it was boring if you've not seen it yet. I give thanks for filling a gap in a corner where ancient plasterboard fails to meet even older wall and for putting undercoat on a few feet of picture rail and skirting. This, I understand has contributed to the tiredness but it's contributed to getting the sitting room finished too. I give thanks for nice easy things to eat, and for making and esting them. I give thanks that Bob is booking some tickets to come and visit at Christmas time... I give thanks that my blog has had so few visitors today so few people realise how lame my posts have been. I give thanks I've thought of enough things to be grateful for for now and can start thinking about getting ready for a quick shower and those pretty pajamas! Bliss.

Flat lines

Gratitude, gratitude...where the F-word art thou, gratitude? I get cross patch, grumble guts days sometimes just like everyone else...or days like today when I'm just a tad dissatisfied with my lot. There's nothing especially wrong, just nothing feels especially right. Sometimes I could do with a non-cyber hug I guess...a real person, really in the room, really giving me a spot of TLC. oh well...

I'm grateful for the lovely nap I had on the sofa last night. I'd just watched another marvellous Frozen Planet (more thanks for that) and thought I'd just lie down for a few minutes and think what to do next...more TV? An early night perhaps?...and the next thing I knew it was over an hour later and the decision had been taken out of my hands! I give thanks for...um...the pattern on my pajamas! I ordered some on line and couldn't zoom in close enough to tell if I'd actually like the print (I'm kinda fussy about things like that as you may have noticed). One pair was gross - well to my eyes anyway...one was very pleasing. I give thanks for all the choice we have...too much sometimes maybe, I'm sure. I give thanks that, even though it seems an effort and deeply unappealing, I am capable of getting out of bed and will do so shortly. If I don't I suspect I'll drift into another nap and there are so many things I want to do...well that I want to be done anyway...which is not quite the same thing, ha ha!

Saturday 12 November 2011

Dreamtime

Good weekend to all of you! I hope you're doing fine... The weather round here would be ideal for outdoor pursuits like a walk or some garden clearing and in spirit I'm doing those kinds of things tho my fleshly body has been no further than the bins. I give thanks for the chance to sniff the soft air and admire the hazy sunlight and crown of cloud on the hill and be reminded me of what I'd like to do rather more than take the rubbish out.

I'm grateful that the ginger haired part time vegetarian everyone had written off won on Come Dine with Me this week. Not that I'm biassed or biased of course! (Dictionary jury seems to out on the spelling of that one and I can't decide which I prefer myself...) I'm grateful for some Lush treats for bath time. Even tho I can't get all of me wet I can still have a fragrant soak of the bits I may...in fact I can get three of my mini baths out of one Dreamtime bath melt now! I'm grateful for Green & Black's 70% Dark Chocolate and for Tropicana orange and ruby grapefruit juice though perhaps not at the same time! And for the sight of day fading into night at the beautiful Abu Dhabi marina race track. I forget to look at the cars sometimes... becoming entranced by the big boats and curvaceous buildings and pretty lights. And I give thanks for all the random mail order catalogues I seem to be on the address lists for. I ticked the wrong box somewhere sometime I guess and they exasperate me really but today I thought I'd look through them all and it's actually quite fun dreaming about what I might buy even though I probably won't!

Friday 11 November 2011

Presents of mind

Thank you for you comments folks. Yes Lynn, it was indeed cheesy, apart from the wildebeest - yuk! And Pat I don't know what you mean, ha ha!

It's such a lovely cwtchity day here. Cwtch is a Welsh word for a sort of comforting cuddle, by the way, nothing to do with your...er...'cooch'! It's what I also call a crumpets day if that makes any more sense to you. I would like to express extreme gratitude for not being out in it but for being able to listen and watch from snug indoors. I give thanks for the sound of the wind hurling the rain at double glazed windows and the sight of the lights in the gloom on the hillside at the back. Sometimes when it's foggy it looks like it's actually snowing up there but it's not! I give thanks for a tasty spinach and feta pie and for discovering how easy they are to make! I've got no crumpets and not much of an appetite so I needed to think of something I'd eat whether I meant to or not...It goes surpisingly well with Earl Grey tea so you'ld better not come to my house for Come Dine with Me as that's what you might get!

The carpet man couldn't make it but I give thanks for my Tesco delivery. I don't know if it's due to some emotional lack in my updragging or my mission to find as much enjoyment in all that I possibly can...but when the driver had gone and I turned to look at two trays of assorted groceries and other bits and bobs I found myself saying 'Mmmm...presents!' in my best Homer Simpson voice. I guess even though I choose and pay for goods and the service, the fact that they are in my flat with no further effort than that on my part makes them seem like gifts to me!

I give thanks for Holy Flying Circus which I've paused to finish writing this! It feels even more cwtchy to settle down to watch something feature length than shorter but on BBC4 - where so many good feature length things are (much gratitude!) there aren't advert breaks to stop and pop and do bits of this and that) I recorded it awhile back (digital recording - more gratitude for that) and it's as entertaining as it should be. The Palin and Cleese characters are especially convincing as the themselves. I was too young for the original comedy anarchy of Monty Python but of an age to remember the uproar about Life of Brian...and enjoy the film immensely when available. That reminds me...Your random fact for today. Mary Whitehouse, self appointed guardian of the nation's morals taught my son's dad. Not very effectively I guess!

Shallow gal

Are you sure I didn't run a marathon some time over the last few days? Wrestle a polar bear, build a road or land a giant squid? I've been racking my memory and re-reading my memoirs but no mention of such activities there so I guess it's just boring old going back to feeling poorly plus a bit of exhaustion for the things I did when I didn't. Never mind...it was fun while it lasted and maybe it'll come back soon. I've just got to stay upright for Tesco delivery and a man to come and talk about carpets and then all I have to do is chill til Monday doing crafts and watching TV and snacking and napping...nice!

I give thanks for beginning the process yesterday evening with some fairly mindless TV and fairly unhealthy food. I suppose the qualification is more subjective than one might assume. Watching Come Dine with Me when there's someone who doesn't serve or partake in meat or alcohol is an eye opener to what other people consider normal nutrition. Well, it's an eye opener all round really isn't? You could do could do studies on it for all manner of degrees I'm sure! And I love the Geek makeovers on Beauty and the... Yeah I know it's kind of shallow...but those guys are on the show because they want help with shallow. They've mastered their own special deepness already and they have no idea how to bring their skin deep beauty out...they don't even know it's there. And of course, neither does anyone else apart from maybe their mothers. But the show's team finds some, sometimes so much you cannot believe it's the same guy at first. They shave off excessive facial hair, make a style with what's on the head, choose clothes that fit and flatter, replace sticky tape on spectacles...nah, only kidding...they get new frames or contacts. Whatever it takes to make them look as hot as they can and some of them do turn out pretty hot! They don't do it til part of the way into the series so it begins to be clearer why these men have chosen not to set about improving their appearance and social skills when they would prefer to have access to the confident social interactions these attributes can engender. And how they love it when they find their inner hunk...and the beauties do too! They've been learning to appreciate these guys for their inner qualities and then suddenly they are guys they'd check out anyway. It's brilliant! I give thanks for reality/game show TV at it's best!

Meanwhile, back in the real world where most of us are part geek part beauty I guess I'd better get a few more odds and odds done before the business part of the day.

Thursday 10 November 2011

Good goods

Heavens I'm tired! Just looked at the clock on my laptop and thought 'no wonder - how late it is!' I mean it's not late late, not pumpkin and glass slipper late, but late to be still be doing stuff when I've promised myself an evening doing nothing at all. Oh well...keeps those pressure sores at bay, ha ha! Ah well...I've got the whole weekend to catch up with that!

I give thanks for a very stress free trip to our lovely little town shops. In fact I give thanks for the shops and for the people who own and run and work in them. I don't think there's a high powered sales person within a five mile radius but everyone keeps up a brisk enough trade by offering good goods and services, being pleasant, chatting to you, helping you, valuing you etc. It is such a joy to live here in so many ways! I give particular thanks today for the enormous choux buns in the baker's on the high street...they are best of all when not in the baker's any more!

I give thanks to Clive for making me laugh with his funny texts about his dentist this morning. I give thanks for a few more living room improvement jobs done by Laura this afternoon - in a week or two now we'll be at the stage when it feels like we're finishing decorating the living room...but of course we've already started decorating the bedroom in our heads! And I give thanks to Rachel for some more body and soul improvements with her excellent acupuncture...

I give thanks for running into a whole bunch of Come Dine with Me's I hadn't seen before. Better get back to them...you know how I hate to leave a job undone ha ha!

Cut and paste

Bahaha! My cunning plan worked! Apple pastries for breakfast to nourish my feeble body. It's so lovely to feel feeble after having got some things done instead of beforehand or unmanageably so during tasks...great gratitude for that! I'm looking forward to a lot of recuperation now, just need to get to acupuncture first. I give thanks it's better weather today as I'll be walking at a slow pace for a snail!

I'm grateful I remembered I can get my Tesco clubcard voucher numbers on line. I was doing my order today and wondering why I had none to spend and of course I do, just not in my hand. It's easier to copy and paste than to copy anyway. I give thanks for the wonder that is internet cut and paste! And I'm grateful for Laura's excellent cut and paste job with some of the 'top coat' wallpaper yesterday too...

My Streak is poorly and may have to go to Streak hospital. My diagnosis is a cracked LCD screen (the glass itself is fine) but what's beneath can still suffer blunt force trauma. I'll ring up tomorrow and see if the experts think that's what it is and can fix it...and then see if my insurance company will help me pay. Hope you are all feeling repairable at the moment!

Wednesday 9 November 2011

Hunting and gathering

This evening I give thanks for the tasty nibbles I made earlier with ready rolled puff pastry. I've never bought anything so decadent before but using it doesn't feel like cooking so much as playing with plasticine...tastes much nicer though! I topped little squares with red onion, apple chutney and goats cheese, pesto, tomato and cheddar and sliced apple, cinnamon and brown sugar so Laura and I had some fresh baked tea time treats after she'd done some decorating chores. Easy though they were to make by the time I'd finished I was fit for nothing but TV, naps and nibbling. Lucky Laura brought some goodies she'd made too so I give thanks for that and for the fact I now don't need to go into the kitchen for the rest of the day and most of tomorrow for anything except 'gathering' whatever takes my fancy! I give special thanks for asking what was in the pumpkin pie...for some reason I thought it was a savoury one and had planned to have it with veg for my tea which would have been odd as it's actually sweet and spicy!

I'm grateful for all the bits and bobs I 'hunted' so successfully this morning...most of all for the new shades for my living room lamps. The ones I had have become quite dented and marked over the last few years and I wanted new ones for when the room is done. I'd been trying to think of somewhere I could get some within walking distance of somewhere I could sit down to get to and thought (correctly) of Wilkinson's. Of course I don't need them yet but in a few week's time, when I hope I will, it will be far too busy everywhere for me to travel and shop. Of course I don't 'need' them at all, I know!

I give thanks for my astonishingly active day and for my aching joints to remind me how out of character it was. I've a feeling the comfy track pants and cosy jumper I bought will get some wear over the next couple of days! And lastly I give thanks for the chap with the big holdall getting on the train who could have pushed in front of me but who stood back and said 'After you, madam'. I don't care if it was PC or appropriate or what or not...I liked it!

Zen and the art of shopping

Mmm...finished the omelette I made last night for my lunch. It was thick with onions and mushrooms and spuds...deliberately made too big to eat all at once as I knew how delicious it would be today! I needed a hot snack when I got back from shopping in the little city. No that's not a misprint or a dream but something I actually did achieve today. I'd put a few minutes worth of energy aside each day all week and when I had enough saved up I planned a quick route around the shops I had to go to (all close to one station) arranged it so there'd be a rough sea to marvel at on the journey and strong winds and heavy showers...but only when I was under cover so everyone else less clever with the weather stayed home out of my way! I seemed to know exactly where to go to find the things I'd gone for at just the right prices...And when I needed a refreshment break I found a cafe with no one else in it giving away free fresh homemade cake with every drink purchased!

There's at least fifteen things I'm grateful for in the paragraph above but despite cabs to and fro from the station and lots of sitting down on the trip I've run out of the energy I had stored up and need to recharge now!

Thinking of all of you with hospital visits this week and wishing you what you'd wish for yourselves or something even better!

Tuesday 8 November 2011

No pressure then?

Yay! The nurse phoned about around four and said she'd be about 10 mins. I decided if I got my jeans and skates on I could post a letter at the end of the terrace and pick her up on the way back. It was only about five mins after she called that I was heading up the road and I passed a car that had just arrived further up the street. When I got back and had been waiting on my doorstep for a few more minutes I realised that the woman waiting patiently in this car outside another house was probably waiting for me and popped up to ask her. Oh I'm sorry she said...it is number 4 pointing at the building in case I was confused about where I lived I guess. I'm not, I live at flat 4, number something else entirely.

Well we got in and did the biz and then she asked me something very strange. She said she had to ask everybody it was her job and asked me how my bottom was! I said do you mean how are my bowels as I know nurses here for the first time sometimes think I might need to discuss their function but am too shy/forgetful/incompetent to broach the subject myself. She said no, was it sore? I won't tell you the kind of things that went through my mind at that point but I couldn't see what relevance any of them might have to a community nursing team...or me for that matter...so I had to make a few more encouraging enquiries and discovered she meant did I have pressure sores. Pressure sores? Pressure sores? Chance would be a fine blooming thing! What kind of fragrantly nurtured life does she think I'm living here for goodness sake? (I know they are horrid by the way and I don't mean to be flip but if I was sedentary enough to get them I'd die of a lot of other things before they caused me much trouble I can tell you!)

I offered to show her my (smooth as a baby's) bottom and she said no, she'd take my word for it if I was sure but I ought to have a risk assessment. The implication seemed to be if you're poorly enough to have us come round to visit you probably ought to be sitting still and getting them. Pat, my dear, you've picked a bad day for an ex nurse to have forgotten what 'lea' is (yes Lynn, we talked about it on Cancerchat months ago), you need to say something very perceptive and wise as soon as possible to save the reputation of your sisterhood's brain power!

Anyway, I'm sure I've made Carol grateful today, she was saying I should feel free to have a rant sometimes and most of the time I know I am and don't really feel the need...I just have a chuckle instead. I'm grateful I amuse myself at least with my bitchy wit and think maybe I should apply for that job myself Lynn! I'm grateful I don't have bed sores and that I didn't have to prove it! I'm grateful for my fidget arse ways that reduce my risk even when I only get up and do things in instalments. I'm grateful I had enough ink in the printer to get the letters I'd written on paper and in the post as that machine can be very truculant about having the cartridges changed. I'm grateful I've decided exactly what I'd like for my tea (had brunch earlier so didn't need lea!) and have the exactly the ingredients to make it - one of which is cold cooked potatoes so not something you have to hand every day. And I give thanks on your behalf dear readers that I'm going to stop wittering on now and let you lot get on with your lives!

Picky

I don't know why the community nurses are finding it so hard to do as I have been requesting for the last few weeks and visit on Tuesday afternoons...they used to manage it well enough when I asked if they could come in the mornings! I know I'm a sarky so and so but I hate it when they leave those slightly peeved messages on my answering machine, not sure if they should be concerned about my welfare or irritated at the waste of their time. I get irritated at them wasting their time, and hate the thought that people might be waiting for them to come and wanting them to come quicker and they are not as they are visiting someone who doesn't expect them to!

Anyway, I give thanks for my cosy new pajamas (though I wish I could have stayed in them!) and for a visiting nurse service as I do need servicing now and then, ha ha!

I wrote the above hours ago...and another paragraph about the River Cottage Veg thing where they visited someone who cooked according to the principles of Buddhist monks and thus didn't have a fridge as nothing more was picked and prepared than was necessary...and then I hit 'publish post' and I had a message saying it had and then, it now appears, disappeared! I wondered why no one was reading it...that explains a lot! Oh well, let me know if you can't read this one either, ha ha!

PS. Pat, read Carole's comment on 'Lea' again...you'll kick yourself I'm sure!

Monday 7 November 2011

Speak now...

I got my second wind in the early evening...or just my first wind really I guess. As long as I have some fairly normal energy in a day...and preferably in the daytime not at night...I don't grumble - in fact, as you can imagine, I'm extremely grateful! I've done a bit of stripping paint off another section of picture rail. I tried doing some this morning and it was just too painful and tiring but later on it was doable so I did! It's quite cosy at that level too with all the warm air rising so lots to be thankful for there.

Now I'm wiped out again but that's OK. I thought I'd have a(nother) rest on the sofa watching a Louis Theroux documentary about 'dangerous pets' in America ie. big cats, primates and bears. I remembered it being on tv recently and I was sure I recorded it but when I checked it wasn't there. So I frantically logged on to bbc iplayer and found it was about to expire in the next day or two, and had to settle down and watch it straight away to make sure I didn't forget it again! It was really fascinating as all his investigations are and he met some real characters both human and otherwise. I've just written quite a lot of this last paragraph without touching the screen but using the 'speak now' transcript facility. I never have before and I am astonished how accurate it can be! I thought it was just for asking your phone to call people but no, it will take dictation not infallibly but better than the software the OU gave me on my 'disabled' laptop! I'm not sure if you can put punctuation in but it's amazing how well it interprets what you say and the great thing is it turns itself off after each phrase so you don't get a transcript of good natured gobsmacked expletives when it does so! I can see it being very handy when my hands are not... but I'll have to use complicated language because it finds simple words harder to decipher!

Anyway, with lingering bemused gratitude for the more miraculous miracles of modern technology I'm off to give more thanks for the less high tech but no less appreciated ones of hot water and clean sheets...

Lea

Funny dreams again last night. In part of one I had a house full of people I didn't know very well (including some cancerchat friends) and my son who was about 10 or so in the dream came into the room we were in and emptied a dustbin bag full of old shoes onto the living room floor in front of everyone. When I asked why he said he was looking for a Kit-kat. I looked in the cupboards but I didn't have any Kit-kats so offered him some other wrapped chocolate biscuits and bars which he took a fistful of for his friends but explained he still needed a Kit-kat wrapper to vote. I never found out what for...

I'm feeling rather poorly again today and though I'm up and washed and dressed I'd rather just read a book or watch a movie or sit looking out of the window at the leaves falling off the tree just outside and the crows or rooks or whatever they are swirling and circling and almost landing on an evergreen one further away in some incomprehensible activity of their own. I'm grateful for a peaceful state of mind and chores that can be done in instalments. Put the washing on, sit down, iron a sheet, sit down, do the drying up, sit down, and then round again hanging up the laundry, ironing another crumpled thing or two and doing some more washing up with more rests in between. I'm grateful for the bits I get done and the bits I stop and for the various wonders of fairly modern technology that make sort of these tasks so relatively easy now. I'd need a housemaid or a husband if not!

I give thanks for the delightful young woman from the Council who keeps battling with the building freeholder to keep up with his obligations. She popped in today to check for herself that something he promised would be done hasn't before she issues a legal notice and we had a good gossip about him which is probably highly inappropriate but fun all the same. She was exclaiming in delight over my flat as she's not looked round before. I know people wonder sometimes why I live here but when you see it you realise. I am SO grateful to be here!

I give thanks for feeling a bit peckish. I've put a potato in to bake and I'll top it with mushrooms in cream cheese and pesto sauce when it's ready for my lea (last time I mentioned this only Carole understood!) and if I keep busy til then I think some full on slobbing out (sorry, 'rest and recuperation') will be on order. I'm grateful for having all the ingredients to hand for all of the above...

Sunday 6 November 2011

That's entertainment

I could never go on Come Dine with Me. Apart from several other more obvious reasons I can't do those high pitched squeals women do when when they greet each other...oh, and I forget to tell people they look lovely before I actually look and decide they do! Never mind...I have great gratitude for the hours of entertainment it gives me! The often curiously deluded people who think they can cook or entertain are, in fact, just as entertaining as those who actually can. But tho it's fun to watch the contestants have a bit of a squabble sometimes I prefer it when they get on. There are so many different kinds of people on that programme and we're so used to the format now it's easy to forget meeting and eating with strangers in each other's homes so more people can watch what happens on TV in theirs is actually rather odd! I'm sure the possibility of winning the cash isn't always the reason why people take part but my goodness I'm glad they do!

It's been another glorious autumn day with bright sunshine illuminating the rich colours of the leaves and vibrantly blue sea. I'm grateful I can see these things from my windows but I've not had the slightest desire to go out anywhere and didn't even get properly dressed and out of bed til early afternoon! I give thanks for the finding the fascinating history book I'm reading about the life and times of 'Mrs Beeton' though I'm quite a long way in and we haven't actually got to the wedding yet. It would be churlish not to give it the attention it deserves and I'm grateful for the chance to take it easy and just relax but I wish I didn't feel like I have to justify doing so little sometimes - even if it's just to myself! It's not like I've even been totally inactive. I've done a bit of curtain ribbon tacking and a few rows knitting the hot water bottle cover I'm making for another craft donation to Volunteering in Health. Not while the Frozen Planet was on though...I remembered to watch it in HD and it was totally absorbing. The polar bear walking so softly, the penguins waddling so comically and the way they shoot out of the water onto the ice...the way the killer whales pop their heads up through little holes in the ice, the way the albatrosses tenderly rub theirs together, the fantastic under water plankton eating jellies with flashing lights and the amazing narwhal log jam! Humongous thanks for all the joys watching that brought me.

And thanks to everyone who has sent me messages and comments lately. I hope you've had as relaxing a weekend as I (if that was what you wanted that is!). I'm so glad there are people out there who enjoy reading my blog and I hope it helps you remember to notice and give thanks for the little things in your life that can give pleasure or distract from the pain even when the big ones aren't always quite as we'd like!

Saturday 5 November 2011

Washed up

Tonight I give thanks for having beeng already snuggled up in bed in warm pajamas for almost an hour after a splendid but tiring day. For John and Jo bringing homemade spicy parsnip soup...for bright, clear and sunny weather to enjoy a trip to Dawlish Warren and a surprisingly good coffee at the Red Rock Cafe (which is a tiny lock up kiosk on the coast path tucked in between the railway and a big red rock funnily enough!). I give thanks for a cosy nap and then a trip out to our unique and lovely local firework display which is shared between the two communities each side of the river mouth. They have the bonfire on their beach and we have the fireworks on ours so there's less crowding and more fun and no traipsing about in the mud! It is a very picturesque spot anyway especially on a moonlit night with all the sparkles reflecting on the river and the sea and you get such an excellent view and such a laid back friendly atmosphere - I'm so grateful to be able to share it with my friends. I'm grateful for rides in the car and good things to eat and companionable chatter and for that delicious soup and hot buttered today and for John doing the washing up!

Head lines

I give thanks for this morning's cup of tea which I managed to get back to get and drink while still piping hot...delicious! I had 'interesting' dreams...the first one involved an unkind elder brother and a lot of bleeding and I had to check when I woke up that the latter part wasn't true! The second one was mostly based in a big Buddhist monastery complex where I met a young monk who was going to give me some one-to-one personalised training in meditation and yoga. I went off to buy some leggings to be comfy in the session and got back a bit late and when I got back I couldn't find him or where to go. I passed several groups of people waiting for someone, looking up expectantly as I arrived but it wasn't me. I said maybe we're all waiting for the wrong one, maybe the right one's here! (Very profound... religions and philosophies have been based on not much more!) Anyway, I opened another door looking for him and there were lots of monks lying down and the patterned china knob came off in my hand and I couldn't see how to put it back without disturbing everybody though I was worried they'd be disturbed with the door open anyway! So I left it out of the way so no one would trip over it but in sight so it wouldn't get lost and then went to a big place with rows comfy seats like a fancy ferry lounge and eventually my monk came and found me there and he understood everything that had happened. It was a gentle reassuring dream after the one that preceded it putting me in a better mood to start the day so I give thanks for that.

Like many I've been distressed by the news of the pile up on the M5. It's the close to homeness I think, not geographical so much but in what you can relate too. It's easier to have empathy if you can visualise yourself in the situation and we've all had that 'what if' thought on the motorway. I'm sending comfort and compassion in thoughts to those still suffering...to those in physical pain and those who are suffering loss or fear of it.

On a brighter note I loved the story of a solitary anti-(bad)-capitalism protester camped in a churchyard nearby. He and the vicar had been for a pint to discuss terms!

Friday 4 November 2011

Inanimania

Off to bed shortly...at last!* Never really got going today and though I did make myself do stuff it was such an effort with not only my body rebelling but anarchy among inanimate objects too. Nothing majorly serious, and I'm truly grateful for that but far too much falling over and falling apart etc for my liking.

Never mind, I give thanks for decorating and sewing progress and for Laura's company. And for the comedy horror of drunk people on Come Dine with Me...people certainly old enough to have learnt when to stop! Why? Why get like that? Why get like that on national TV? I know, I'm boring...I've been told before... but I've never really 'got' getting drunk! When it's happened to me it's pretty much always been accidental. I know when I like to stop and it's way before I start slurring and shouting and stumbling about... I'm grateful I'm boring! I've had a hangover a couple of times over the years and if that's what you get for being fun I don't think I'm missing much at all!

*I wrote that more than an hour ago and then suffered another attack of the 'things'! How much mayhem and misadventure can household items create in one day for goodness sake? Go to www.themoaningcow.com/killer.html to find out...seriously, moaning cow I may be but this is not a joke!

Not so spruce

Hello folks! Hope you're doing OK. I'm feeling like I should have stayed in my bed today so I'm giving thanks that I got out of it and made it afterwards! That reminded me of putting a flat pack pine bed together once and I don't know if you've ever done so but it can be a surprisingly strenuous job. The phone rang and I rushed downstairs to answer it and my friend on the other end said if I was that out of breath making a bed then I ought to see a doctor! She meant the rearranging the bedding sort of course...

I give thanks for giving my bedroom, bathroom and kitchen a bit of a clean as well and for clearing the decks for Laura to do a bit more papering in the living room... a few drops of lining paper and bit of textured 'top' in some places where that's already been done I hope! I don't feel up to major furniture moving today so I'd prefer to have work done on the 'bits that show' but if she's time after tackling the above perhaps she'll put second coat on the doors. The handles are on loosely and I reckon if I had something cylindrical, small but stretchy and waterproof to protect them the wood could be painted without getting any on the metal. Unfortunately I haven't any of those to hand!


I'm grateful I felt a bit healthier early in the week and was able to enjoy my trip 'up north'. Here is a view from near the top of the cliff railway showing where Exmoor meets the sea as they say...



...and of gorgeous Lynmouth gorge in autumn colours. If you've not been round there before then I urge you to do so. It's lovely all times of year!

Thursday 3 November 2011

The dog and pineapple

It sounds like a pub name doesn't it? Some sort of eatery perhaps like the Slug and Lettuce? Actually it's what I saw outside the Co op earlier. A dog waiting patiently or otherwise by the door is fairly common occurrence but you don't often see a loosely wrapped fresh pineapple by their side! I give thanks for being on the spot at just the right time to catch this anomoly.

Gratitude too to Rachel for excellent acupuncture and, just as beneficial in its own way, perceptive comprehension of my sometimes unconventional thought processes and emotional responses. How lucky I was to find someone so sympathetic to my ways!

Gratitude that the weather cleared up by the time I went out and for finding a carved pumpkin lantern on the doorstep downstairs. Still there from Monday night I guess, I haven't been out since Jared brought me home earlier in the late afternoon...heart warming to know the new neighbours aren't the sort to leave themselves or empty bottles there anyway...I told you the neighbourhood was looking up! Gratitude too the carpet shop was shut due to flood damage so that I used the extra town time I'd allocated to sip hot chocolate on the edge of the promenade watching the big waves rolling in. They were the sort that leaves a wide band of white foam behind them and children and dogs were playing chicken with their ebb and flow while surfers rode the swell. Much nicer than buying carpets! I also give thanks for finding, in among the tins of seasonal sweeties, rows of pre-packed meat and racks of alcohol, some actual food to buy at the Dog and Pineapple... sorry, the Co-op, I mean! I can see my new name for it might stick though...

Dry land

Ran out of steam to type last night but I give thanks for the stunning imagery on Frozen Planet...I'm not particularly fond of watching things hunt and kill each other but the orca pod making waves to tip seals off floating ice was scarily clever. I'm glad we don't have creatures like those on dry land but I'm grateful we have such excellent natural history documentary makers in this country and that people still believe it's money well spent. And for David Attenburgh's continuing vigour...they're just not the same without him! The cameramen and crew work hardest though and the scenery shots above, below and in the ice were breathtaking as was seeing the male polar bears standing up on their hind legs to fight over a female. That was just the first episode...I had a little doze while the second one recorded. I give gratitude for having the peace and space to nap when I want to, to eat and drink and wash and clean and so on pretty much whenever I feel like it and not having to justify myself or meet anyone's expectations. There are some advantages to a solitary life!

Despite all the dropping off during the day I slept long and mostly soundly and dreamt I was going to one of the carpet shops in town to perhaps choose a new one for the living room rather than just half heartedly glance at what was on offer like I did a few weeks ago. The first thing I that caught my eye when I walked in was a big black cat waking and stretching itself on a pile of samples and then I spotted another and another and they began to come and wreathe round my legs purring and pushing their heads up to be stroked. Then some friendly dogs came too. It was a lovely dream but I don't remember much about actually selecting carpet which is tentatively on my to do list for today! I hope the weather eases and my own vigour increases so I can go and see what they've got that I might fancy/afford before my acupuncture this afternoon.

Wednesday 2 November 2011

Division of labour

Well it's been a flippety floppety sort of day so far. I'm grateful for the tempestuous weather making a long lie in finishing the biography of Spike Milligan seem only right and proper! Then after getting up and doing a couple of useful things - including putting a little rice pudding in the oven to cook - went back to bed until it was time to get up again to eat it! (Mmm...I give thanks for that too!) And while I did I started watching a documentary I recorded a while back about Marty Feldman. I thought he was brilliant in my younger days and certain sketches, rarely seen any more, still make me laugh out loud so gratitude for that. He was a jazz trumpeter, you know. Which one...you might ask - Marty or Spike? Both of them, ha ha! So somehow I got drawn into the programme and ended up watching the whole thing and then got up and did a couple more little chores and then had to rest on the sofa again a while...the pattern repeating itself throughout the afternoon A couple of times lately I've felt relatively lively but not today. Suppose it serves me right for running marathons, building pyramids etc when I do have some energy to spare (not).

I give thanks for a lovey chatty letter from Kostas and for a book about Gods and Myths in Northern Europe that Ivor kindly sent me from his vast collection and now I'm off for another sit still!

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Rabbit rabbit

Phew! Another few inches (each) of picture rail and skirting board revealed and of curtain sewed, and several feet of curtain tacked... I'm not expressing gratitude for the speed that things are progressing you understand, simply that they are!

I'm grateful for a good talk with the good doctor and remembering the nice nurse this morning saying he thinks the man must have a portrait of himself in the attic because he's known him for twenty seven years and he's always looked the same. Apparently he's retired twice already and is estimated to be in his mid to late seventies! How lucky I was he was a locum duty doctor the day I went in. He is the first person to recognise that while the cancer is failing to kill me as quickly as it might, other conditions are carrying on disregarded...and the longer I live the less acceptable that actually is. I am still 'worth it' in other words! I guess he knows a little about premature relegation himself... and that the real scrap heap challenge is to stay off it!

I give thanks for some salad with my tea. I've had cooked veg the last couple of nights but sometimes I really crave raw ones. Even in my early teens one of my favourite things to eat was salad and in the places and days I spent my early teens that was considered very strange indeed! I wasn't even on a diet, ha ha! I also going back to give the kitchen a bit of a clean and tidy afterwards before flollupping on the sofa so it doesn't give me a nasty shock when I go and make a hot drink later.

Write time

My goodness me! That's four days in a row I've been up before the day was in double figures...on two of them I was even dressed! Obviously Mr Willetts has facilitated this by messing around with the time clocks pretend it is but it gives me a sense of being vaguely related to the human race anyway, for which I give thanks! I also give thanks for a Facebook friend's post asking how you changed the time on a dog which I thought was very droll. And to the BBC web site for some fascinating facts about time zones...well, fascinating if you're up before the day is in double figures but haven't the energy to do much when you are! I also give thanks for a nice chat with a nice nurse and for a bit of sun to dry my washing in at the open window and for hash browns. I thought they were a sort of hash(ish) brownies when I first heard of them and wondered how come Americans had them quite openly for breakfast, I mean pancakes and maple syrup on bacon seemed exotic enough to me!
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