Sunday 30 September 2012

East of Eden


Great gratitude to the Mules family for leaving their wonderful gardens to us common folk - a rambling park and dingly dell where palm trees grow next to holly, rhododendrons next to oak.








Overgrown with a post apocalyptic Eden air it's a splendid place to walk a dog...or yourself! 










I thought it looked different but it's many months since I've been there so maybe my memory is overgrown. I give thanks to my legs for carrying me, and then down to Eastcliff cafe to recuperate.  There was a beribboned vintage Rolls parked alongside and wondered if someone was having an alternative wedding breakfast but it was just the drivers taking a break, spruce in their tail coats taking care not to spill coffee or ketchup! A takeaway toastie and tea, with banter on the side and plenty of change from a few pound coins, excellent!

I give thanks for meeting the lovely gentleman from next door picking a sprig or two of rosemary overhanging the edge of one of the domestic gardens on my way down the hill...to make his Sunday lamb taste right, he said... I asked if he was out catching the lamb later! And for someone letting off some fireworks in the evening somewhere down towards the river that were visible from my window when I finally wrenched myself up off the sofa to look.  I've been mostly shipwrecked and comatose since my (slightly) vigorous outing but fresh out of mango juice, for which I give great thanks. Mango juice? Yuk!

I continue to struggle with the dippy formatting on here. Your patience is still appreciated!

Saturday 29 September 2012

Morning story

Today I'd like to be outside rather than to get there, and I'm certainly not keen on getting back! If you have your own garden and/or transport you might not understand these feelings...but they are a part of my life now and though definitely preferable to not having any interest in excursions at all they can be a conundrum to solve. I'm grateful the bright deep blue sky inspired me first thing and I've got as far as dressed and breakfasted (beans on toast, yum yum!) but the clouds seem to be obscuring the energy levels as well as the sunshine now as noon approaches. If I stay in I'll probably do things with my hands and my hands and wrists are sore as I did things with them yesterday...if I went out and tired out the rest of my body I could happily do nothing on my return except snack and operate the remote control... (Oh, and gratitude for catching up with Thursday's hilarious episode of CDWM last night, while it springs to mind) 

Hmm...On my trip downstairs to take out recycling and collect the post the smell and sight of greenness was enticing though the groaniness of the incline less so...but on the whole, the spirit stirred and I'm going to have to give it a go! Great thanks for optimism again!

While I'm gone I thought you might like a story. It's not a new one, but newer than any I've put on here before I think...and, to many eyes and minds, even odder I'm sure.  I hope someone enjoys it because it would be a shame if I spread more grimaces instead of smiles but I've checked the bothered pocket and am pleased to report my urge to create remains appreciation independent! Have a good afternoon everyone!


Ugly

Eric and I used to meet by the river of a summer’s evening. He’d have been on the water for most of the day and I’d stroll along after work and sit dangling my legs over the edge of the quay while we chatted and watched the people walking by. In fact we often chatted about the people walking by, and not always in nicest way either.  Those entwined couples and straggling happy family groups marred our companionable time together by reminding us what we were missing out on and we could be quite bitchy about it.

We were, I think, more than averagely aware that appearances can be deceptive. That encircling arm might feel more like a straight jacket than a tender embrace to its receiver, the tousle-haired sunny-smiled child clambering on and off his trike might be abused, the milkman’s son, a mass murderer in the making...or possibly even all three. But even so watching what passed for normal life passing us by made us feel left out and bitter and slow to appreciate what we had ourselves. No one mistook Eric and I for a happy couple, I’m sure. They probably didn’t even realise we were friends, how much more we had in common than being misfits among our own kind.

It’s hard to put into words what was wrong with Eric exactly. He wasn’t obviously deformed or anything like that. To me he didn’t look that bad at all really as I don’t think I did to him. But think of all the flattering adjectives that are usually applied to swans. Now think of their opposites.  That was Eric: inelegant, unlovely, asymmetric. And a swan’s raisin d’ĂȘtre is to be beautiful after all, to glide along gracefully...and to procreate of course.

It’s a common misconception that swans always mate for life. I believed they did until Eric told me some stories that would have made the Sunday papers if the wildfowl world produced them. Mostly they stay together it’s true, that’s their intention when they’re courting and they usually stick it out especially if they’ve raised a brood or two. A bit like a human Catholic marriage I suppose. But the lady swans they used to look at Eric and go ‘uhuh’ in their shapely heads like the sound on Family Fortunes when someone guesses wrong. They didn’t fancy a permanent relationship with a partner who looked like Eric. ‘Wouldn’t want to wake up to that every morning for the rest of my life,’ they thought. ‘Best not go there.’ It was so unfair. If he was human he’d have a chance of a shag now and then if someone was drunk enough or desperate. I get my share. There’s always some guy thinks an ugly bird might be grateful and truth be told she often is.

‘If this was a fairy story’ said Eric that fateful day, ‘you’d climb on my back and we’d fly away somewhere and…and…’ He faltered, began a bit of embarrassed preening. I don’t know if he’d been going to say I’d change into a swan or he’d become human and we’d live happily ever after or what.

‘It’s not a fairy story, though is It Eric?’ I said gently. ‘If I climbed on your back I’d squash you and neither of us would get anywhere.’

We sat in silence for a while reflecting on our reflections, but he was hatching a plot in lieu of an egg. 'I know' he said, 'Maybe we should get the bastards.' And he began to outline a scheme for retaliation.

He was coming up five years old that summer and that’s a bit late for swans to start pairing off, rather like me hitting thirty, the old body-clock-ticking-away clichĂ©. I guess all that unfocussed testosterone (or whatever it is swans have) must have been needing an outlet because his idea was to sneak up on his drowsy nest--sitting peers in the late evening gloom and rough them up a bit, ruffle their feathers, remind them not to be so smug. It sounded simple enough but the thought of it obviously gave him great pleasure and he got quite smug himself talking about it. So that was him sorted but what about me?  I’m small and skinny and wouldn’t say boo to a goose and some of those big beautiful girls in the office that make me feel so inadequate, they are scary. Like Williams sisters, like lions.

It was a summer of ridiculously impractical shoes. I didn’t really notice at first, I don’t read magazines, or hang out in the kind of venues where small town fashionistas show off the latest frivolities. I just kept my head down, eyes on the rubber toecaps of my Converse All-stars as usual and it was Eric who spotted the trend developing from his water-borne bird’s eye view of the towpath and pointed it out to me.

Girls, even women old enough to know better, were wearing flip-flops on platforms with the straps or thongs or whatever you call the bits that go between the toes covered in flowers and beads and dangly chains and charms and fluff and glitter and everything else you can possibly think of that females might be drawn to.  Honestly, some of them looked as if they’d stepped in something inappropriate that had stuck to their feet – small shrubs perhaps, a pair of misplaced bridal bouquets.

Eric’s scheme for me involved these shoes and a tripwire made of fishing line which he brought along to show me (swans have rather more access to angling items than they would prefer). I’d never seen any close to before. It looked kind of whitish clear but there were other colours in it if it caught the light at a certain angle. Eric said it made it harder for fish to spot. Swans too presumably. He described the knots to me and I tried to follow his instructions. I might not be ornamental but I’m not much practical use either and it took a while to get the hang of them. To begin with I did it down on the river bank so he could keep an eye on me but to understand how it was going to work in the office I had to practise at home.

Eric kept asking for progress reports, egging me on. He’d already started his campaign and said it felt great so finally when I’d tried the tripwire out on myself without the actual shoes or the falling over I had to bite the bullet and try it out for real at work. I wasn’t as hard as you might imagine setting it up. Mostly I’m stuck in a corner on my own near where the flooring changes from carpet to lino so a likely place to lose your footing and good camouflage for the line. The others gossip away - new clothes, new boyfriends, new best friends, how drunk they were on Saturday night and who said what to who. I can’t join in with all that, and because I’m usually on the phone instead of Facebook my productivity’s better than everyone else’s doesn’t go down too well either. Honestly I could tie my knickers to a chair leg and I don’t think anyone would notice.

I didn’t mean anyone any real harm. I didn’t want them to suffer permanent damage or broken limbs, just a bruise or a graze or a cut or two. I wanted them to look in the mirror and not see perfection for a while. I wanted them to be self conscious not self assured, self obsessed. I did worry they might go down like trees, smashing face down on the floor but Eric said no, the shoe straps or the fishing line would break before that and he was right. There were no major injuries and I could rush and remove the evidence in the commotion afterwards whilst seeming to search for the contents of tumbling handbags strewn across the floor.
It was a good plan really. The trouble was I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it when they fell or how I felt afterwards. The first time I thought it was probably nerves, the fear of getting caught taking the edge off the satisfaction I was supposed to gain.  There was no way of knowing who’d be next to want to go to the loo or the coffee machine and walk into my trap. The first girl was slim and big busted and always looked as if she might topple over but seeing the dismay on her face when she actually did made me want to rush up and try to catch her but of course I just sat still and tried to look surprised.  She came into work next day with a dark bruise coming up where the desk edge had caught the flesh of her arm. I couldn’t look at it. A few days later I set things up again and caught a girl I thought was kind of nice because she’d sent me a birthday card once. She cried after she tripped up, not from pain but about her ruined shoes, and I felt awful. Eric wasn’t at all sympathetic. He said he bet she sent cards to everyone and I thought about it and she did, even the cross-eyed girl who had to be sacked for stealing. 

‘Have another go,’ he said ‘Go on, you’ll get to like it.’ So I tried again and this time the victim was an older woman who could be very caustic in her remarks and there was no reason on earth why I should have minded what happened to her but when she hit the ground it was me who burst into tears and the manager sent me home saying to take a few days off as I was overstressed.  

I didn’t know what to do with myself. Before I’d have gone down the park and hung out with Eric but I wanted to avoid him and his awkward questions. It was mad hot and I didn’t want to stay in my flat watching TV so I got one of those weekly bus tickets and went to the coast every day. It’s only a few miles down the river to the sea but it’s a different world there. I’d walk right to the end of the beach where all the shops and most of the tourists ran out and find a little spot among the rocks and put headphones and sunscreen on and lie down and try not to think.

It was on the way back on the bus one day that I saw the headline on one of those boards they have outside newsagents to try to get you to buy the local paper. It said ‘another swan found dead’ and I went all cold. You know if you know someone in Australia say and you hear there are bush fires somewhere and you wonder if they’re are ok even though it’s in a completely different part of the country? Well I felt like that although deep inside of me I was perfectly sure Eric was alive and well.

When I got home I went straight on the internet and found the article and it said the bodies of five birds had been found dead along our stretch of river within the last month. It said they had drowned which I thought sounded a bit odd for a swan so I looked that up too and discovered that one can drown another by climbing on its back and holding its head under the water with its beak. And then I knew what he’d been doing and how he’d got away with it. There are no CCTV cameras trained on the river and if anyone had seen anything in the dusk they would have thought it was mating not murder. And he hadn’t been grassed up by those who knew better. Well swans can’t talk, can they?

It was a dog that got him in the end. You know what dogs are like – always poking their noses in where they’re not required. I think it must have heard the flapping and splashing one night when Eric was wreaking his revenge on his peers and muscled in on the fight. A crutch-sniffing dog would have known it wasn’t sex.

The police were there. They’d put bright orange netting round part of the bank like they do when there’s a nest site too close to the footpath. Two young officers were lifting his remains from the water’s edge and an older one stood facing away from the riverHe pushed his blue serge breast out, spreading his arms slightly back and down to discourage the small crowd from peering past him. It was like when you pass a road accident or come to a frightening part in a film, you want to see something a bit horrific but not worse than you can stand. I turned my head sideways and slid my eyes round to look.  For a long time I’d thought Eric was my best friend in the world but now I wasn’t sure I’d known him at all and he was just a pile of bloodstained feathers resting in a policeman’s arms. One of those cosy middle aged couples Eric and I used to grimace about was turning towards me back up the bank, the man guiding the woman away with a protective hand on her shoulder.  'It's pretty ugly,’ I heard him say.



Friday 28 September 2012

Patterns

I give thanks for moonlight on the sea, for the privilege of a window from which it can be seen and a fresh joy each time I do.

For seeing in the final programme of Dead Good Job the respect, goodwill and tenderness shown to those who have died without having or perhaps being a loved one. There has been something for everyone to learn from in this brilliant series and in this 'different' themed episode this was what was new to me. And remember I was pleased to see the blending of cultural funeral practices the other day? Well today I had a similar sense of rightness in listening to the 'reluctant lama' talking about his spirituality. 'So you want to pick the best from East and West?' asked the interviewer? Too damn right, mixing his trance drumming with his Tibetan chants...he knows which way to go...

I give thanks for a text from Jenny when I got in yesterday evening offering to come over today. At first I was disappointed as I knew I'd be ready for a long lie in, but having to get up was good as I could do some light 
chores while she did the heavier ones this morning and then after have an afternoon nap to keep the place clean! I give thanks for the pleasure of talking with her too, likewise with Rachel yesterday, and for the temporary boost of  my treatment.

I'm grateful too for a session with the crochet hook. I think the bit of the thing I'm working in at present will turn out OK... I don't like to give thanks for anticipation too often as it's a free pass to disappointment land but it's been fun playing with the pattern today anyway. 

I give thanks that my supper is waiting, and bath and bed not very far behind me thinks...

Thursday 27 September 2012

Like attracts like

I like...The dog doing the Dog on Midsomer Murders. This is a yoga reference, nothing to do with canine sex! It's a natural canine position, which is how come it got its name, but this one did it on request...

Good thinking coming in threes. The people from Green Fuse were somewhat taken with the name and idea of this blog. I guess I'm pretty used to it now and forget sometimes that it's an unusual thing to do, even that Losing the Will to Die is not an everyday expression. Jane said that in their training sessions for celebrants they'd met someone who had won a long battle with cancer and who makes a point with her husband of sharing something they are grateful for each day before their evening meal. She has a blog and a book called Being Sarah...Then in the evening I watched A Civil Arrangement, Alison Steadman's monologue in which she admires her daughter's fiance Janice's habit of thinking of three positive things each night before sleeping. Last week two people I know said they were thinking of trying the practice in some small way. Oh my, imagine if it wasn't unusual or remarkable at all but everyone's way of life...

Finding a heart decorated hook thingy in a sale yesterday, finding it was missing a bit and the shopkeeper giving it me for £2! Finding it fitted in my bag (just!). ..and that it would fit on the little bit of wall in the hall it was meant for. If I can now find someone to fit it for me I can hang my scarves on it. I wanted a tangible thing to remind me of the day as the day that it will result in I'll not be tangibly there for...

Clean skin after a warm bath, and bed with a book of Annie Proulx's stories. They're not all about kissing cowboys you know... She's been known to include a bit of what academics call 'magical realism'. I give thanks that I don't suffer from the need to differentiate...

I'd like it too if Juanita's operation today would go well...and that Carol could be well again...

Wednesday 26 September 2012

Underground overground


Did it rain today? Well yes, but not on me as I nipped in to organise my funeral just before the heavens opened! Cunning plan, huh? Not exactly a spur of the moment thing though...I'd written a will with my wishes some time ago, and have executors of course, but they've been incommunicado for a while and the only person I can rely on to sort things out in the way that matters to me, is me. I would love a complete 'do it yourself' funeral but I'm thinking there won't be much I'll capable of when the time actually comes, so I've been browsing funeral directors and directions for a while and with prices rising and energy levels on the wane, I thought it about time I removed the proverbial digit and went over to the place where the green hill is never very far away to set the wheels in motion.



Great thanks to Massimo and Jane for making this such a very pleasant experience...definitely worth two trains, two buses, two taxis and two tired legs to get there and back!

I give thanks for the relative ease of the journey and even more for even more ease on my return! For a few serendipitous purchases en route and glimpses of smile-making things such as bright rainbows against dark cloud, a crow washing vigorously in a rain filled tractor rut, apples on an enormous tree and purple magnolia buds unfurling. (I didn't realise they did that this time of year, but I've checked on the know all internet and they do.) Gratitude too for inspiring a woman in a cafe to say 'I'll have some of what she's having' without me shouting 'Yes!' and slapping the table at all and for much munchiness from the freezer for my tea.

Tuesday 25 September 2012

It's frothy man

Phew! I'm extra tired and achey today so I'm grateful I've changed my bedlinen. It probably contributed to my exhaustion but I'll appreciate it when I go back to bed...in the, meantime I'm grateful from refraining from doing that straight away! I give thanks I made some food and did some little sewing jobs before drifting off into doze land again in between watching some catch up TV. Great gratitude for catch up TV and sofas and quiet time to enjoy them...Hopefully I'll get my second wind in a bit...enough of it about.

Appreciation for the second edition of Dead Good Job, looking at the particular beliefs and requirements of different faiths, some of which I knew about from studying courses called Death and Dying and World Religions with the OU. Personally I found it very uplifting that, to some extent, these are becoming...no, not mixed up...I think 'shared' would be a better way of putting it. 

Random remembering: in the supermarket yesterday there was a very young couple joined at lip, hip and everything in between, slowly travelling the aisles with the boy moving forwards and the girl stepping back. 'Where are we going?' she broke off from the snogging to ask. 'I don't know,' he replied 'I'm just walking...' Metaphor for many a relationship I'm sure! I give thanks for those kind of gems overheard.

Have to go on a trip for an appointment tomorrow. Just checking out the feasibility of taking the sofa on the train...

And, in case you're wondering why this post is called that... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-19716141

Monday 24 September 2012

Hair today

Today I give thanks that I was able to witness the storm snug and safe and warm, though the howling wind woke me up last night. Today it was sunny and mild though blowy. I love the wind, finding it exhilarating though I know it makes others anxious and antsy. It's also ideal weather for taking my hair for a walk. The soft globe of mobile fluff and curls is rather like a pet, only the very young or old seem to find it alarming (plus those who fret at any sign nature's not tamed and contained). Most people openly smile, or do a surreptitious double take...some actually want to pat it!

I give thanks for the acorn clutching squirrel sitting on a low wall by the side of the road, merely moving a few inches away to nibble it as I stopped to say hello. For braving the supermarket, finding a bagful of Monday bargains and that they were playing music I actually like by the Scissor Sisters and Alanis Morrisette. Also for Peacock's having a tiered print cotton dress in its end of season sale that was just asking to be made into a skirt being cheaper than the cost of the fabric would be and only requiring a waistband making at my chosen height.

Much gratitude for my quick and tasty supper last night of tortellini with veg, pine nuts and red pesto...also the lunch I brought home today of a giant choux bun!

Sunday 23 September 2012

Flocked

.
I give thanks for the flock of cumulus clouds moving across a bank of altostratus yesterday evening. For the breath of the wind and the tumble of rain and the rumbling roar of heavy seas. For left over Greek salad for my lunch. For the sparkle of Singapore in the F1 aerial shots. For getting bedding changed and pile of ironing done...and falling asleep afterwards! For the possibility of just dozing off again...

Saturday 22 September 2012

Purple roses

Yesterday I gave thanks that I managed to fix some sort of media file corruption on my laptop and can now put new music on my mp3 player again. For a pale bright circle of sun within a sky of grey white cloud...and eventually breaking through to blue for a very enjoyable afternoon with Laura on the other side of the river. Lots of towns have a river running through them but ours is wide enough to have a completely separate place! There's a completely different atmosphere, different architecture, scenery, facilities and so on so that it's possible to feel you've been away for a while when you're just across the water. Love it!





Oh, and they have different plants as well....look at these gorgeous purple roses. They smelt like parma violets!



There was a cluster of late duckings on the grass but I didn't want to get too close and scare them so I snapped this stone monster? caterpillar? instead.





Today I give thanks for headphones as none of my neighbours seem to have any! For the opportunity to take things easy and slow, and a slow cooker to make a veggie stew for supper. I give thanks for hearing that Carol's still hanging in there.

Friday 21 September 2012

Ch ch ch changes

I give thanks for a pleasant evening yesterday spent in company at home, sharing the cooking and eating of food, watching a movie and someone else do the washing up!

For an invitation out this afternoon and a plan with a third person to meet up for a drive out and tea somewhere in a few days. This is a lot of socialising for me, and a very pleasant change...

Blogger have finally forced us all into their 'new improved' interface...despite its deep incompatibility with android phones. I'm not against change per se...those techy geeks have got to do something to earn their salaries, but I guess none of them have android phones AND blogs. I'm going to try the app in the meantime which, I'm hopeful, will allow paragraph breaks! I'm grateful for the challenges to overcome here (keeps your brain young working out puzzles!) and request your patience in the meantime. My patience will require extra oms I'm thinking.

I'm grateful for a spate of new winter TV ads reminding me of old favourite tunes. I wonder if those who chose them realise they are causing me to buy music not whatever it is they are trying to sell! I'm grateful that an experimental medication change is on the way to try to eliminate some trying side effects. I'm grateful for the change in the weather bringing on an extra desire to knit...and for a new package of wool to appease it.

Thursday 20 September 2012

aeiou

aeiou (that's the sound of me yawning!)

Acupuncture.
Ear plugs.
Imminent sleep
Operational shutdown...
Under a snuggly throw

I'm fine...just tired!

Wednesday 19 September 2012

Cosmology

Morning sunshine splitting into rainbows through my window crystals and dancing in the breeze

Sofa glue and eye lid cement creating an afternoon drifty doze

Finding an old story I thought I'd work on and deciding I liked it just the way it is. Sometimes collections of words, like tunes, are ripe for a remix...but sometimes they are a product of the time they reached their final state and you need to move on and create anew

Sending messages without visible addresses and them reaching the intended recipients... and other forms of cosmic harmony

Cyclamen growing in the crack at the base of a pavement side wall. Lilac petals between grey stone

Swimming. Yes I finally did it. Scary, wonderful and more exhausting than I would have thought possible but very glad I did, and that after the bouncy buoyancy I somehow got my gravity laden body out of the water made it home...


Tuesday 18 September 2012

I had a dream

Yesterday was one of those strange, apparently random days when I feel almost normal for a few hours...well, a pale shadow of the 'old' normal me, but far nearer than I normally feel if you see what I mean! I walked about the town a bit to attend to some Matters with a Capital M, plus did ironing and other household tasks at home AND some knitting and crochet all with no more that the occasional sharp intake of breath where pain's concerned and no need for more resting than frequent but brief sitting down. Much gratitude for all of that, and also that after tea, when I ran out of steam and needed to do nothing, I could catch up with the first episode of QIXL. Very funny and informative and actually quite interesting. I'd've scored a few points as well, I do seem to know some rather obscure things, and have oddly precognitive dreams like Victoria Coren!

This morning I gave thanks for a bizarre but very acceptable breakfast of leftover strawberry crumble with coconut yoghurt. The yoghurt because Tesco had run out of my favourite plain Yeo Valley Greek, and I'd made the crumble out of some tired strawberries and out of date ground almonds to cheer my tummy and taste buds up after an unfortunate incident with a microwaveable ready meal. Why do I sometimes forget everything I've learned in life so far and assume one of these might be edible? There are cans and toast and cheese and eggs if you don't feel like proper cooking... Actually I know the reason. It's because they are on special offer! Oh well, I give thanks for optimism!

Optimism also fuelled my dream to get to the little local pool to swim a few strokes before it closes for the season. It's heated and outdoors with a little park area around it and if the big gates are open, as it's not quite at the bottom of the hill, you can see the sea. Well I got as far as packing a bag of necessaries before extreme exhaustion returned...this does mean however, that if at any time during its opening hours over the next twelve days I feel I could achieve this ambition this bag is all ready to grab and go, so positive progress. And maybe, maybe if I get lots of rest today...who knows? But rest is what I need so I'm grateful for that...

I give thanks for this cool site I found today after seeing some links from the Facebook version. There are pictures of all kinds of amazing things art, architecture, places, creatures, technology, recycling...oh go and look for yourselves! https://plus.google.com/117795701383257554288/posts

Monday 17 September 2012

Lux

No sunset coloured clouds last night, anywhere in the sky, in fact there was a big bank of extra dark grey ones in the west...but leading into them right across the paler ones in the south was a pink streak of contrail. Strange and beautiful and resistant to my attempts to capture on camera...

I give thanks for the leaves beginning to turn on the trees I see from my window, and the autumnal sound of the crows.

For waking up in the night needing my window open wider and realising even with vision blurred by sleep and myopia that the stars were very bright. Went back for my specs to look again!I'm grateful Human Planet is being rerun on BBC4. Some of the footage is wondrous (waves from under the water this week for instance) and you can always fast forward through the carnage...

I give thanks that I'm out of bed and taking a break during what seems to me a very arduous round of personal and domestic cleaning chores. If I've energy to get outdoors later today as planned, anyone I meet will be grateful I've managed some of the former, and I'll be delighted I've completed some of latter when I return!

Writing the above paragraph reminded me of this sign by the side of a road rather favoured by camper van owners...



It might be me (it often is!) but it seems to suggest the boss can wash but not the staff


Sunday 16 September 2012

Pet likes

I bet you've all experienced a pet hate today...something that irritates you over and over again...betcha! To new readers I must make it clear I've not yet reached even the foothills of the exalted state when gnashing your teeth and tearing your hair are superfluous...I just choose to pay less attention to the things that make me go 'Grrrrrrr!' and focus more on those that make me go 'Aaaahhh!' or even 'Oooohh!'

There are things I regularly turn to to encourage the production of happy sounds inside...and today I celebrate those 'pet loves'...

First of all for the quips of the Come Dine with Me narrator. I'm learning to think well of the world around me but I still struggle with less than charitable thoughts about the people in it, so it's a great release to be able to chuckle along with someone else having a dig!

...which leads me to another couple...lolling and lolling ie. laughing out loud and lounging around. I do miss having more energy of course, getting out and about and doing the things I love but being able to rest at least some of the time I feel I need to is very welcome. And laughing aloud is extremely good for you physically and mentally. I chuckle to myself about many things and love to share a laugh with those who share my sense of humour (yes, there are a few!) but a good standby for a real guffaw is damnyouautocorrect.com and its various sections.

I love being read to too. In the absence of anyone to actually read to me, there are radio plays and Book of the Week and so on.

Many sights and sounds of nature stir me and uplift me, from the ones I can experience whilst indoors - birdsong, moonlight on water, the changing seasons and colours in the sky, to the images TV, internet and films bring from far away to my right before my eyes so that I don't feel quite so housebound when I am. And, of course, to be outdoors especially in the countryside is a tremendous treat...

And then there are my favourite flavours and foods...garlic and chocolate high on the list, of course. I consider myself very lucky to able to indulge myself with most of these mostly whenever I like!

And favourite smells...carnations, sea air, freshly ironed cotton and Nag Champa to name a few... and favourite tunes... and designing things and making things...and learning things... and thinking about things I like!

Saturday 15 September 2012

Dead good job

Anyone who is OK with facing up to the fact that they, and those they know, will die one day...there's an excellent new series started on BBC2/HD about funerals and funeral directors. Dead Good Job is what it's called and in the first episode they included a biker send off and a terminally ill woman arranging her own to save others the trouble, so extra brownie points and sew on badges from me! I've wanted a green burial since I first heard such things in the 1990s and always liked the idea of the 'mourners' standing round solemnly listening to something slow and seemly on a ghetto blaster by the grave...and then someone reaching over and flicking a switch and something requiring wild punky dancing coming on instead. There are technical problems with this...I'm not sure could rustle up a plural of attendees or where they'd rustle up a ghetto blaster, but, as I love the drumming and lyrics so much (and will be in a wicker coffin!) the second tune really ought to be Basket Case. For a while now I've thought the first should be the most stately and senorious version of Pachelbel's Canon to be found...but I wasn't sure how they'd fit. The internet however informs me they have exactly the same chord progression, in fact there are several music clips available of people proving this...so it's the canon for the gig I guess (pun intended!)

It's important to me to be buried within sight of the sea. There's a beautiful churchyard just outside St Mary's in the Scillies, where Harold Wilson's grave is incidentally, which fits the bill, and this one on Morte point full of tombs with views, but methinks I'll not be in either of those.


Anyway, I'd better change the subject in consideration of any more squeamish amongst you. Today I give thanks for going out for some exercise...it was much cooler than I imagined and much busier along the sea wall than I could possibly have predicted so after catching my breath I came straight home again. Although not as pleasant an outing as I imagined it was (relatively) quite a vigorous walk whilst carrying a (relatively) heavy bag with book and so on so I've been snoozing most of the afternoon...mmm, thanks for that too! I give thanks for a Red Dwarf day on Dave...no wonder I'm tired after all that laughing! I'm grateful for managing a couple rows of crochet in between naps. I'm trying to finish that cot blanket for charity I started last year but it's painful to do more than a little at once. I also give thanks that, in instalments in between sleeping and crocheting and laughing I've some cauliflower cheese and that it's now warming in the oven. Oh and for finding out there will be a new series of Red Dwarf starting soon...yes a new one! I've seen some clips and it seems to still amuse...good job really!

Friday 14 September 2012

Getting better

My busy day yesterday went well for which I give great thanks. I enjoyed my acupuncture and a pre prepared snack in a quiet nook on the sea front afterwards to try to come back to earth a little before setting off on the train. The city was showing its best side, the one that made me move there...the murals and mosaics and varied street musicians placed just the right distance apart so that you feel that you and being passed from one to another by means of your ears! My favourites, who got a small donation, were the finger picking amplified acoustic guitarist with didgeridoo accompaniment. A soothing and uplifting combination. Note to self: keep some change in an accessible place. I often want to drop a few bob in a hat but it's such a slow palaver extricating my purse and a coin or two (often dropping something or making some involuntary noise in pain) that I can gather a small crowd myself!

I give thanks that the outdoor tables at the cafe I was heading to were in shade...and they did takeaways so I didn't have to sit there...but didn't have any takeaway cups...so offered me a blanket to take onto the sun drenched grass of the cathedral green and then delivered my a china cup of cappuccino and a brownie on a plate to me there! I also give thanks that, although there was a mix up with the appointment and I wasn't expected, the consultant saw me anyway. I already knew that the various products and processes they measure were measuring up surprisingly well, but, because I'm used to having worse results than that, I needed some reassurance that they are indeed still pretty bad and she was not at all surprised that I feel so exhausted so much of the time. It may sound daft, but this was such a huge relief. In fact I came home, had some tea and went almost straight to bed confident that I'm officially not a wuss! I didn't sleep but it was so relaxing just to snuggle under the covers away from the demanding TV and internet. My neighbour upstairs came home and played some loud music which she hasn't done for a while but I was grateful that it was music she had never played before...a compilation of vintage Elvis. Apart from the volume it was actually quite pleasant!

Yesterday I gave thanks for the warm sunshine. Today I was a bit disappointed it wasn't quite as grey and damp as they suggested it might be as I stayed indoors exercising my right to be feeble most of the day. I was exceedingly thankful for that though!

Thursday 13 September 2012

In the bay

So, as a weather god, what do I see when I stop for a cuppa outdoors on a changeable day?





Clouds to the left of me......showers to the right.







Sunshine stuck in the middle with me though!








Yesterday was the first day I've done normal in town things here for over a week and I was struck once again by the particular friendliness and kindness I find. Staff in the various businesses are always ready to share a chuckle and a chat...in fact I've heard less funny stand up comedy routines than the banter in the fruit and veg shop! I'm particularly grateful to Chris the taxi driver and Caroline at the dry cleaners for making getting my duvets freshened up so much easier. Despite cabs both ways and only a short stroll along the sea front from doctor's to cafe and back, I was very tired again and fell fast asleep on my return. In fact I only managed partial consciousness for the rest of the evening...but I give much thanks for the peace and comfort to do this...and that I had achieved a few things I needed to first.

I give thanks half watching a programme including some beautiful Roman frescos I'd not seen before. The house of Livia ones of the stylised woodlands scene particularly took my fancy... So colourful yet delicate and restful.

Today, I'm feeling rather delicate and restful myself but I'll spare you the details. Unless you're usefully providing information to a practitioner, carer or fellow patient I don't see the point. Everything one can imagine one's body will try to physically reproduce so why would you want to put other people's bodies through what you're suffering? Why would you want to keep your own mind and body in that space more than is unavoidable?

I have acupuncture soon and I'm sure this will restore me somewhat...well, I hope so as then I'm off to the big city for one of my regular renal check ups! I'm grateful for completing the pre departure challenges and for the internet, which went off for a morning stroll, coming back so I can send this before I go. I'm likely to be bushed this evening and unable to tell you all my adventures and share my joys. So for now I give thanks for the sun on my face streaming through my window and drying the cardigan I'm planning to wear, hanging on the clothes rack in the bay.


Wednesday 12 September 2012

Short stories

Well, yesterday I carried on feeling feeble and wan, so give thanks for an almost totally horizontal day. I caught up with Mr Murray's success and then the steampunk circus of the paralympic closing ceremony, enjoying both greatly. There's a lot to be said about the obscenities of sports stars' prize money and governmental dual standards regarding disability, but none of it belongs on a blog about gratitude, does it? I'm grateful for having a TV, and the chance to see people happy... I get the impression Chris Martin had a good day at the office as well!

I'm grateful to Ainsley Harriot for making me broccoli and stilton cup-a-soup, Dr Karg for the spelt crispbread and er...a cherry tree for the cherries? As you can tell I gave up on even partial food prep yesterday... Great thanks for tasty snatch-and-snooze snacks about the place and that I don't always feel so weak and unwell.

This morning I feel a bit more energetic so gratitude for that. As I've done a lot of reading my stash of books to look forward to is diminishing so I thought I'd see of there was anything that appealed to order second hand from Amazon or reserve at the library. Of course you have to start your search somewhere and, as I'm reading some non-fiction about an isolated tribe and their language at the moment, I typed in 'Anthropology' The first book that came up was in fact a book of short stories by a chap called Dan Rhodes. I've nothing against short stories, as you know I've been known to produce a few myself, but it wasn't quite what I had in mind at the time. It was followed by a list of learned tomes, the kind you have to refer to when writing your anthropological essays at university and one reason why I abandoned my course...so I abandoned that line of enquiry. Next I thought of a book that came to mind after scanning the front page of the BBC website earlier...The Little White Car. (The photo caption had been about Prince whatever his name is being moved at being shown an orchid named after his mother and this rather amusing book had been about someone who thought they might have been involved in an accident in a tunnel in Paris, late one August night...I can hear people outside shouting 'Off with her head' so I think I'd better close these brackets now) Anyway, I couldn't remember who had written The Little White Car so I typed the title into the search box, and it was someone called Danuta de Rhodes with Dan Rhodes in brackets afterwards. Hmmm, methinks not to read another of this writer's books would be to deny my destiny - I've ordered a 1p one from Amazon straight away - and methanks for the synchronicity.

Gratitude also for this man's project to take pictures of what makes him smile. I can't get the tumbler links to work but it's on Facebook or you can just search for the images on Google if you want to see more.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19548517

Tuesday 11 September 2012

Compromising situations

I felt in need of some nurturing yesterday. I didn't feel particularly well, and I didn't feel at all energetic so I thought long and hard about how to make myself feel extra pampered without getting extra exhausted. This is what I did...

First of all a long lie in as I'd not slept well, followed by washing and dressing so I didn't feel an invalid. I did my shiatsu exercises to restore some balance, did a load of washing and washing up and sent a few emails to avoid having more to do today.  Having someone else make a meal for me would have been perfect so I compromised with things that were neither totally tin and packet junky nor deeply demanding in the chopping department! 

The company of someone who had known me longer than four years would have been ideal. Anyone who has met me since then only knows a little part of me, and understandably tends to mistake that fragment they've met for the whole... So I decided to watch the film of Red Dog. I don't often watch pay per view movies - it seems a bit decadent, especially if there's just one of you viewing per pay!  But this was the film of Louis Bernieres' novella of the true story of a hitch hiking canine counsellor, one of my favourite stories ever, so something special but sedentary to mark the day. Of course I cried buckets, but I laughed too, and felt uplifted. It's a feel good tale about love but like the best of these for me, not about the sort that comes in couples or families.

I give thanks for all the joy I gave myself yesterday and for a few kind virtual messages of support. Today? You've heard of Jacob's Creek? Well, his has nothing on mine! Sorry, it's a joke that works better spoken but you get my drift... I'd planned to get a few chores done in town but I keep putting off getting moving, thinking maybe just another cup of tea, or a chapter of my book, or perhaps a couple of paracetamol might help. I'm immensely grateful that so few of the things I have to do, I really HAVE to do today and that, even though I'm reading about a doughty Amazonian tribe, I don't have to attempt to emulate them. I'm grateful the book mentions both Durkheim and liminality, words from beyond the grave baggage of my days these days.

I'm grateful I'm well enough to read a book and look out of the window, to make and drink a cup of tea. I'm grateful I know when to compromise and when to push on or give up, shape up or curl up and nap. I may seem weak, but I know how to look after myself, that's stronger than almost anyone I know.

Monday 10 September 2012

Jolly mixtures

Hmm, let me see, today I give thanks for...

...rain, rain, beautiful rain, giving me that take it easy feeling again...

...still being here four years after my diagnosis...

...Clive coming over to have fish and chips to make up for not having a gathering on the beach this year...

...all the people who have helped me, and all the ways I've helped myself including keeping this blog...

...the beautiful bodies of the paralympian athletes, and the victory parade participants being grouped by sport not which games they'd competed in...

...for the graduated heart shaped leaves on fresh tendrils of Virginia Creeper even as the full grown ones turn crimson. I don't have a photo of that but this one of almost over hydrangeas intertwined with not yet ripened blackberries in a footpath hedge above Coombsgate beach is in sympathetic spirit...


Wherever you are on your journey, whatever the speed at which you travel or the way you move along...celebrate yourselves and one another!

Sunday 9 September 2012

Low impact

I'm grateful the day stayed hazy so I could stay lazy yesterday without the feeling I was missing out. I love seeing the boat shapes on the milky sea when it's like that, a series of pastel scenes unfolding beyond my bedroom window, like a moving gallery.

I was grateful the party next door stopped at midnight and for a peaceful start to the day, revelling in my solitude, having a big think and a long meditate. I have a long way to go on my compassion journey and am often more exasperated by others' ways than I would prefer to be, failing to be grateful for the opportunity to learn more tolerance, more patience, more mindfulness of their perceived needs and attachments.

Of course, all the above qualities have always been required, but nowadays as well as those we really do appear to know, and colleagues and neighbours - people we actually see and hear, there are those we mostly or only communicate with virtually. These relationships must rely on shared perceptions of the meanings of pixcel formations to build a bond (a shifting sand if ever there was one!) so I give thanks for the happy accidents that often keep crashing comprehension of completely different wavelengths away...

I'm grateful for a nice breakfast of veggies and egg and that I decided to put on clothes again that could really have done with a wash, as, after dropping a yoghurt that exploded on impact there's no question about cleanliness now! I'm grateful for seeing the lovely image on here http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-19501885 of Mr and Mrs Windsor and their eldest son having fun in an audience together. What carefully planned activity caused such delight? A sack race we are told! Great stuff. Oh and I'm grateful for Positive News for thinking I was was positively newsworthy enough to appear in their paper. So many heart warming stories of great endeavour and/or international importance in there...and then there's me!

Saturday 8 September 2012

Foggy foggy dew

I give thanks for a slow start to the day...for the foggy morning matching my mood so well ie drifting in and out of soft focus. For the velvety look of the dewy grass. For Jenny coming to help me do a proper clean of places often skipped...the top shelves and tops of kitchen cupboards, behind and underneath things we don't usually bother to move.

Gratitude for dozing off on the sofa after bustling around and having lunch... And for a noisy gathering in a nearby garden waking me - otherwise I might have slept through my grocery delivery!

Great thanks for discovering a pretty little shell I thought I'd decided not to bring home because it would probably get lost or squashed in transit was safe and sound waiting for me on the sleeve of my dressing gown next to the bag I was unpacking. My dressing gown hadn't come with me but it must have reached into the bag and found the little shell hiding somewhere while I was out of the room...even greater thanks for those few special people who read this and smile in recognition rather than reaching for the emergency mental health service number!

Friday 7 September 2012

Coffee and cake on the beach



Spent a while back on Barricane Beach this morning... Last night Kat and I were just in front of where the lady in blue on the red mat is in this picture...



They don't only serve curry down there...and yes, they let you take the china on to the beach - it's very civilised! I give great thanks for having spent some time in such a splendid spot!





I give thanks for a such a great few days away. For visiting new places and creating new memories. For discovering an excellent treatment for aching joints is to soak them liberally in sun! For good weather and good health and a safe (and relatively swift) journey home again first on a meandering surfers' bus taking in the sweeping bays of North Devon via winding leafy lanes, and then on two trains, each connection comfortably made in the ten minute gaps between. Also for remembering to call to book a cab to collect me on the last leg so I could come straight home.

Huge gratitude for living in such a lovely locality. It's horrid sometimes having to leave somewhere beautiful, but coming along past the boats and birds in the estuary, and then right beside the sands and sea I always feel very fortunate. I always forget how nice my flat is too and walk around it in contented amazement at its welcome. As arranged, Laura finished the last bit of painting and papering in the bedroom while I was away so it was very pleasing to see that too. I'm grateful for the washing on, and the water heating up for a long lounge in the bath. For a laid back weekend ahead absorbing, assimilating...and some other word beginning with a that eludes me!

Thursday 6 September 2012

Curry and rice on the beach

Oh my, what amazing weather...I've excelled myself this time! As you know by now I love all kinds of climate but for a few days at the beach this is the biz! Had a go at going for a walk on a lovely brackeny footpath in the late morning yesterday but it was too much like hard work, I'm grateful for trying but was even more so to give up. In the afternoon I went to find a sunny nook on the big beach. I wanted to go the rocks way but it was too hard and had to give up that too and was heading off along the cliff and then I thought, Oh whatever, I'll go down on my bum if I have to and turned round and went back. There was a woman in front having some problems and her husband was offering his hand to help her I said to her not to feel embarrassed and then when they saw state of my descent he came back and helped me. Right at the end you had to jump and just at that moment another man arrived going up and they each took one of my hands so I could jump too! Much gratitude for that...

There was a bit of a breeze and most people had windbreaks or beach tents...funnily enough they were pointing in all different directions and I found a sheltered space between two 'backs' with my own back to the dunes so quite private and cosy and I just lay there in my cozzy reading my book for a few hours which I haven't done for years. Absolutely excellent!

Gratitude for seeing the lighthouse shining on Lundy last night. For having a little potter on Morte point today where there are some gentle gradient paths of soft flat grass, and stunning views creating the impression one is On A Walk with little actual expenditure of effort. For the rather lovely church, with carvings and mosaic and stained glass angels and the sea view cemetary...for the bus drivers making it so chummy for everyone. Best of all though, best of best of all...meeting up with dear Katya after 10 years too long and for Barricane Beach cafe for serving us a delicious curry as we sat and watched the waves to make it extra celebratory and cool.

Wednesday 5 September 2012

Middle world

Considering it consisted of one taxi, two trains and two buses yesterday's journey went pretty smoothly. Four hours to cross the county...you could cross the country in a car in that time! Waiting for the first train there was an announcement at 9.34 that the 9.30 to Paignton was 60 minutes late. Those of us on the other side who'd seen it arrive and leave on time were mystified! Otherwise quite uneventful...the Tarka line, as I knew, is surrounded by lush countryside, in places the broad leaf woods so thick the tree tops look like broccoli heads. Highly recommended for an autumn journey when the leaves are turning...last time I did that I was off to watch tennis in Barnstaple with Amy. A young Laura Robson was amongst the players.

The low cloud was leaking slightly when I arrived there, though it was bright and there were shadows which reminded me of fake rain in films when they pour water on the actors but also shine spotlights on them so they can get the shots. Cracks me up every time...

The B&B is quite spartan...one towel, no TV, no en suite but it's cheap and clean, there's a vase of sweet peas by the bed and the view from my window is priceless. Plus the owner's given me the wifi code... Breakfast this morning would feed an army of angels...warm baguette, ham and cheese, butter, jam, marmalade and marmite, cereal and flask of cold milk, yoghurt, apple and banana...delivered to your room for the princely sum of £5!




I'm grateful for all of the above and for resting again after eating my first breakfast. Think I'll be a hobbit today...,I have an aversion to pampered first world expressions about 'overdoing' things (I'm on a few days' holiday in a beautiful place and I walked further than is comfortable to see more of it...this is not a cause for sympathy!) My 'accoutrements' were bound to cause some anxiety first time away from home but so far so good so I'm cautiously grateful for that. I've just tested my legs and they said walking any more today would be stupid, but so would staying indoors, it's such a lovely day...I think I'll see if I can find a sunny spot to read my book and have second breakfast.

Tuesday 4 September 2012

Here I am

I'm here
I have an amazing view
I've had a nap and I've had my tea
I hurt (because I've been exploring so this is positive too!)
I have the wifi access code...
I'm on holiday
I'm happy

Monday 3 September 2012

Time out

Today was one of those days when I'm in awe of the loveliness of where I live. People often say they feel like they're on holiday here when they're just visiting for a few hours and I tell them I feel the same after almost five years! The real tourists are thinning out now and so I thought after having my blood taken and so on I'd better fill in some of the gaps here and there on a couple of beaches, stopping at various points for refreshment of body and soul. I give thanks for cuppas and chips as cheap as just chips elsewhere...For friendly cabbies, shopkeepers, health care assistants...

My sensible head was saying 'Now, don't wear yourself out before tomorrow' but my even more sensible one said 'Let tomorrow take care of itself...if you feel up to a stroll in the sunshine today go for it!'. I gave thanks for the twitter of starlings hiding on the flat roof of the theatre and planning their evening display, for the heady scent of petunias and rose bushes in the flower beds by the crazy golf. For the fact that I WAS tired and so when I got home I didn't do lots of the kind of things I used to do before I go away which are good to have done, but not necessarily especially good to do, and certainly not essential.

All being well, this time ish tomorrow I'll be telling you how smooth the journey was, how great the place and who knows what else...But if I don't, assume the reason is no internet access, OK? Or lots of fun? Don't start fretting and imagining grim scenarios for me please!

Sunday 2 September 2012

Suits me

Humongous and ongoing gratitude for being able to have baths again. It can be painful getting in and out of my deliciously deep tub but it's something I've loved all my life and the years when they weren't allowed, although I tried not to think about it, I missed their comfort so much. There is almost no physical affection in my life any more so warm water surrounding me is my hug, my cuddle, my pat, my stroke.

Reserved gratitude for knitting a few rows and crocheting a few rounds. The progr,ess on the projects is, I suppose, commensurate with the pain in wrists, digits and elbows...but how come my knees and ankles and aching? Don't remember them being involved in any way at all!

I give thanks for a Ruth Rendell to distract me during a disturbed night and necessary recuperative long lie in. For pancakes for a leisurely brunch. For Jensen (who always seems such a thoroughly nice chap on pole and the HD clarity which even on my primitive and cut price flat screen makes the view from the onboard cameras look like an arcade game. For a dramatic start to with flying car crash at the start (even without rain!) with no one hurt, which is how you want it...followed by a safety car to catch up with my blog. Ideal!

When I moved near the sea again I dreamed of having a boat. Yes, I live in an upstairs flat and have no car but dreams don't have to be sensible...if they were sensible they'd not have to be dreams, would they? I had friends then who liked to play on the water and we thought we could hire something one day, there's all kinds of craft available near by...canoes and kayaks and jet skis, rowing and motor boats. Everyone said I must get a wet suit and I'd just started looking and I got sick. For many very specific reasons a wetsuit wasn't to be. After my operation I bought one in Lidl's. I didn't see how I'd be able to get it on, let alone get anywhere there'd be any point in wearing it and have any energy left to do anything you'd wear it for...and the friends I might have gone with had long gone without me. But it was symbolic: keep following your dreams, even when reality gets up a head of speed in the opposite direction. Your dreams are your best you...or it's best for you if they are anyhow!


Well yesterday I somehow got the wetsuit on. Massive effort as it grips me tighter than I can grip it. And yes, I was right, I needed a long sit down afterwards to recover. And no I don't think it's worth cramming it into my suitcase for all the aforementioned reasons but I took a picture because I'm perversely proud of being a middle aged woman with afro hair, a stoma and a wetsuit. Especially one who's supposed to be dead. I mean, it's a pretty exclusive club...They couldn't bury me and they are NOT going to bury my dreams.

Right, I'm off to buy a wedding dress...

Saturday 1 September 2012

Time it was

I give thanks for a delightful evening yesterday mostly listening to Radio 4 on iplayer. In years gone by I listened to the radio far more than I do now but I developed an intolerance to prattling DJs on popular music stations, squawky adverts on commercial channels and all the news updates and analysis on my beloved Radio 4. People sometimes dismiss my lack of interest in 'current affairs' as a sign of immaturity but I'm not going to launch into one of my rambling rants into alternative stances on the topic as I'm off to rearrange the fuzzy felt...

Of all my acquaintances of various ages and genders and techiness I was the first to succumb to the charms of catch up TV with the cumbersome dinosaur that was the original 4od. I swiftly followed that with the dizzy delights of pause and fast forward on digital TV to tweak start and loo and tea break times but it's taken a few years to apply my zeal for schedule free viewing to listening as for a while all you could do to be selective was retune and turn off and on again. So I'm loving getting back into the kinds of programmes I enjoy. The background voices are great company if you're involved in some quiet physical chore or hobby, and delightfully soporific if you're not! Recent recommended faves include... the Twin Nation series...and, as I've mentioned before, Fry's English Delight.

Gratitude too for this week's edition of the latter featuring snatches of a long forgotten song by simon and Garfunkel Dangling Conversation...and while I'm swiftly and loosely connecting subjects...I give thanks for the sounds of the chap next door playing his acoustic guitar so melodically in the garden...and for Adam's memory jerking photos on Facebook of bygone years and people...

I also give thanks for seeing on Facebook someone I knew at uni will be in the area next week so we might be able to meet up. As I didn't get an education til late in life this is Uni ten years ago not thirty five years ago. Still amazed it's been ten years though!

As most of the above is of such a personal nature I'll round off with these items spotted earlier and perhaps more easy for others to appreciate...

Animals greeting...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9506450/Chimpanzees-pass-down-a-secret-handshake.html

...and maybe grieving?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/19317067

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/19421217
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