Saturday 30 June 2018

Bridge over troubled water

Although I was at sea level today I didn't really see it, so I give thanks for hearing the waves on the other side of the wall as I sat on a seat in the sun.

I give thanks for having a look at the flower festival including Laura's finished display. For a lovely vegetable samosa for my lunch from the farmers' market which I took to Mima's and had served with a spot of salad and a cup of tea! I give thanks for a lift home and the loan of a lighter vacuum to try as Henry is too big and bulky for me these days...so the floors get dirtier and harder to clean...

I give thanks for giving my swollen ankle and sore wrists a good rest when I got home, forgoing the housewarming party as I would have been no fun I'm sure. For all the neighbours being out so I could watch the last episode of The Bridge and quite forget my troubles and pains.

I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself, and
uncomfortably aware of how little I have to contribute to...well...anything really...so I was very grateful I might have found somewhere online Laura might find a wedding dress, and helped Jan remember something to make to sell at a fĂȘte. Drops in the ocean of value and worthiness, but valid and valued in two tiny ways...

Friday 29 June 2018

That's entertainment

I give thanks for I was interested in an event tonight. Nothing new there - there's tons of stuff I see or hear of and think I'd like to see or hear - but this was just in the next town and cheap so I really did think I might go, and I enjoyed that feeling. Unfortunately in reality I'm too sore to get to the bus stop, let alone back up the hill from it after so I give thanks there's no one to see how disappointed I am. Sometimes being sick really sucks you know...

I give thanks for making a big pot of dahl for my tea tonight and tomorrow...and, as I had to go downstairs to check for post, for taking my leftovers lunch and a cushion and towel with me so I could have it in the sun. I give thanks for the blaring radios and whining power tools drowning out all the involuntary grunts and groans as I tried to get comfortable.

I give thanks managing to find postions to prop up a paperback, and that it was Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. I give thanks for everyone who has someone who thinks they are...and helps them be even better...

Thursday 28 June 2018

Paradise is half as nice

I give thanks for not only being awake for half the day, but also reasonably active. For less pain after more movement, though rest periods were still required, but that is not a bad thing especially when you're getting the shopping on a sunny day in a seaside town or have a supremely curl upable on settee!

I give thanks for also feeling here and there fully functioning and not just half alive. The last few weeks this has been a rare treat, and its hard to explain the difference but it is as different as being under the influence or sober, elated or depressed...for a while you feel well enough to quite forget you're not, to notice your buried self has returned and is taking part in the day. I give thanks that most people will have not a clue what I mean, and long may it stay that way!

I give thanks for sandwiches and picnic food to finish up so I could use the effort saved by not cooking to put a bit of paint on a bit more of the storage stool. For lots of recorded TV to catch up on plus a rather good book so I can put my poor swollen foot up for the rest of the day...

The scaffolding went half way up the building yesterday and then the man drove off yesterday and never came back. I give thanks I didn't have my hopes set on any further erection...

Wednesday 27 June 2018

Up on the roof

If you'd asked me I would have described yesterday as restful but bits of my body kept waking me up in the night to tell me how unrested they felt. What about the carrying things, they said.What about the steps? The carrying things up and down steps? Oh well...I'm grateful the pleasure was worth the pain.

I give thanks I didn't have a great deal to get done today, confining myself to essentials. I give thanks for more processing laundry, more phoning solicitors and emailing estate agents to encourage them to go through their processes with a little less input from me, and making my bed properly again to perhaps encourage restful sleep.  I give thanks I made granola...though I kept smelling it cooling afterwards as I lay snoozing on the sofa and thinking I'd left the oven on!

I give thanks for a message from Bob recommending a series of podcasts about serial killers. I didn't pick it up straight away as I was watching some programmes on catch up about serial killers.

I thought about resting in the gardens with a book but I give thanks I decided one trip down and up the stairs to collect surgical supplies from the courier was enough. On the doorstep I found a scaffolder erecting as one might say... Let's not get over excited.

Tuesday 26 June 2018

Wish you were here

I give thanks for a day off from my day to day life. I needed one quite badly, and Mima kindly helped me get away from it all and spend my birthday present beach hut hire voucher.

Last night I discovered they'd better cross painting and decorating off the list of work I might be capable of when my right hand and forearm went into the worst spasms I've ever had. My left wasn't much better and when I used it to try to prise my fingers and thumb apart on the other side it started to seize up too. It was so bad and prolonged I actually thought of calling an ambulance though I don't think I could physically have achieved this if I'd tried. I give thanks for remembering all things must pass and endeavouring to relax... and eventually the muscles did too and I could get ready for bed though making a drink, cleaning my teeth and so on were rather hit and miss affairs as gripping was so painful

Unfortunately there are some things a urostomy patient should not be hit and miss about and so I was awake again in the wee small hours so to speak dealing with the aftermath of failure. I couldn't think of anything to be grateful for except that I lived alone and the night was warm...Today my hands are still very sore, but I give thanks for getting some of the laundry done before we loaded up and headed off down the road to bask in the the brilliant sunshine, the balmy breeze...plus other people's radios, dogs and conversation! I give thanks for a good picnic, paddle and book. For the beauty of the still calm water especially when we arrived and the tide was very low...I tried to take some photos but they didn't do it justice.

This evening I am grateful that some of the washing is dry...but not so much that I have to put the next load on just yet so the neighbours can have an evening free of water overflowing from the drainpipe onto their doorstep. For a brief round of battling with some of the solicitors who seem intent on scuppering my house move...For a fish finger sandwich planned for my tea and some catch up TV to curl up with...


Monday 25 June 2018

A whiter shade of pale

I give thanks I only bought a very small piece of furniture to do up last week as it's been stuck in the kitchen receiving very little attention since then. One day I washed it... A little light sanding happened gradually after that... Today, after two or three days back in the land of something like living as far as pain is concerned, I give thanks for finally catching up enough with laundry and other non negotiable chores to start to apply creamy water based paint to some of its surfaces. I give thanks for really limiting everything else on the agenda so I could get three coats on these and that my hand only seized up right at the end of the last one. In the shop they said to leave it alone to harden for a couple of days after that - no problem at all methinks!

It's not turning out particularly perfectly and I was feeling a bit meh about that, as I used to be so much better at pretty much everything I do and the decline does get me down. And then I remembered hey, but I'm actually doing it myself, albeit very slowly and rather messily and that is something to be super grateful for these days.

I give thanks for getting comfy on the sofa to write this after clearing up and congratulating myself on not having had a nap...before falling fast asleep of course!

Sunday 24 June 2018

Are you lonesome tonight?

Last night I was giving thanks for the long summer evenings as the butter moon glowed brighter in the darkening blue. Sometimes they make me long to be able to go out, socially or just outdoors to breathe in the air of the night...so I also gave thanks for remembering there are lonelier places you can be than home alone - in a crowd sometimes, in a family, or even in someone's arms.

I give thanks for waking from an epic dream where I was about to get married to someone and decided I didn't want to but couldn't find a way to say or how to get away from them and their extended family in an isolated house in a blizzard...

I give thanks for all the neighbours being out somewhere so I've been enjoying plenty of peace and quiet with my solitude this last twenty four hours. For having the communal gardens to myself to lie in the sun with a book...and no noisy interruptions to a pretty good Queen's final afterwards.

I give thanks for Laura popping round this evening with her practice display for a local church's festival of flowers and for Ruth inviting me to a party next weekend. To the universe for listening...

Saturday 23 June 2018

All around my hat

I give thanks for managing to take in some of the free stuff at the folk festival here...the Morris dancers seem to be particularly entertaining this year! For places to sit in the sunshine and watch as my ankle would really rather I'd stayed at home watching tennis... I give thanks for being able to record that for when I got back.


Rather tired this morning, I give thanks for also preparing tea for when I got back when I finally got out of bed. ..and for popping back under the covers for a rest when that and putting right an avalanche of possessions waiting to be packed if I should be so lucky just wore me out too much.

I give thanks for meeting Mima and her bringing cake she'd purchased in her travels. For catching up with The Bridge. I've enjoyed the previous series but this one is the best! I watch much more TV than I used to now, but much of it is with half an eye on something else as it doesn't really enthrall me. The last couple of episodes of The Bridge have had my full attention though...I've even sat upright so those unexpected sofa naps don't happen!

Friday 22 June 2018

True colours

I give thanks my new sofa is so comfy and that I'm partial to both power and weakness naps...but my goodness me it's hard to get off it sometimes even when I'm awake! I give thanks the extended lazing about on it late this afternoon followed a few hours out with Mima, mostly sitting on a beach...but also sitting on seats between the carpark and the beach as it was a long way down (and up!)


I give thanks for the almost Mediterranean colours, the warm sunshine and gentle breeze, decent loos and cafe kiosk within reach and for peace and space until twoish when groups of teenagers arrived and started doing louder teenage things. Still, if we hadn't moved then we might have missed watching a seal catching his tea close to shore as the tide came in...and I give thanks we didn't.

I give thanks my joints have been in a better mood the last couple of days and movement has been easier all round. I give thanks my appetite remains undeterred by renal failure and might even move me into the kitchen shortly to rustle up some tea...


Thursday 21 June 2018

I just can't help believing



I give thanks for life imitating art yesterday evening with a stripey sky and sea. For all the people celebrating the Solstice this morning - what a wonderful way to remember you're a being on a rock in space not just inside your head! Well, you are just inside your head of course...but might it help you put some saner thoughts in there.

I give thanks for a celebration of my own in my dreams.  Just the fact I was dreaming was something to be grateful for for a start - proper job asleep I was and a member of a slightly mutant tribe about to be handfasted to a rather fit young chap by local standards. I was rather looking forward to the nuptials but also relieved I woke up before the minced newt pies...

I give thanks for my alarm rousing me fron my second imagined romantic encounter of the night as I had an early epipen delivery slot and though I don't mind answering my door in my dressing gown I hate having to walk past other people's. For an exceptionally cheery and helpful courier...and for popping back to bed for the rest of my sleep when he had departed.

I give thanks on the back of the patchwork
bed cover there's soft thick flannelette so it's light but cosy to pull over the duvet if you get a bit cold in the night. For seeing the broken glass in the washing up bowl before I put my hands in.

I give for leaning out the window to try and work out if the breeze was warm enough to sit outside with a book... and ending up having a chat with my neighbours. For ending up staying inside and making goodly inroads into overdue housework and ever optimistic(ish) preparations for moving house. I give thanks for less aches and pains so this wasn't too uncomfortable...and enough fatigue to get comfy on the sofa in between bouts of activity and fall asleep in front of some rather lacklustre tennis.

Wednesday 20 June 2018

Deep blue

I give thanks for Blue Dragon Thai paste - it's cheap and comes in little pots just right for one or two dishes. I give thanks for using some with some vegetables earlier so my tea is ready later...

I give thanks though I've been tired and sore and rather worn down by life's ups and downs I've not been as grumpy as the guys upstairs! For getting out eventually for essentials, and for the non essential (but very pleasant) Revive get together. For a lovely surprise gift from Liz of a blue glass dangly thingy, which I'm much too sleepy and comfy to get up and try to photograph but which made me exclaim with delight.  I'm not a great one for ornaments but I love a bit of pretty glass, and this one looks a bit like the sea. If I move into the flat I'd like to it would go particularly nicely in the bathroom, which has a lot of deep royal blue tiles...and will have some colourful rather Moorish accessories if it will wait for me!

I give thanks for the administrative staff at the GPs fast tracking a prescription I'd forgot to renew... So many meds, and each runs out at a different time and has to be reordered separately so it's easy to lose track. For fun in the pharmacy discussing a stranger's earwax. You maybe have to live here to understand how this could become a jolly social interaction....

For finishing the interminable form, and for surviving the ensuing cramp in my hand and arm by leaving the washing up and vacuuming for another day. I give thanks for buying a little pot of Frenchic paint for the storage stool. I love that I still think I could survive painting something... Who knows, maybe if I don't do any washing up or vacuuming for a week?

I give thanks for remembering George Harrison....

Tuesday 19 June 2018

The only way is up

I give thanks I have acupuncture for the sake of my health, but my mind sure enjoys it too!
I was unable even to follow an episode of Come Dine With Me after last night's session so I put the football on with the sound off and laughed my head off listening to the guys upstairs shouting their thoughts at the match. When I started laughing my head off at the toaster I gave up and went to bed!

I give thanks for Julie and Spencer helping me take some stuff to the recycling centre and charity shop today and then pick up some new remarkably attractively priced and attractive bathroom bits from Asda. We also looked around three charity furniture stores and in each one one of us found something we couldn't resist. Mine was a do it up project seat/table/storage box for a mere five of your earth pounds!


I give thanks for the managing to resist another helping of the rather nice mezze tea I put together for our tea yesterday so I've some left for tonight. For also managing to resist a vast selection of veggie and vegan savoury favourites in a cafe in the town and treating us all to vegan dessert sundaes instead.

I give thanks my sofa is just the right size and shape for elevating my right foot so the swelling goes down (for a while). For dozily catching up with today's play at Queen's with no danger of falling asleep as I keep getting cramp in my left foot and having to jump up! Every cloud eh ?

Monday 18 June 2018

Something stupid

I give thanks for feeling better yesterday than I did the day before...and better still today! I'm grateful you all think I'm grateful all of the time but to be honest when inflammatory disease besets me, and kidney disease means I can't use anti-inflammatory pills and creams to ease the pain gratitude can be in short supply...

I give thanks for being able to go about a variety of household tasks without needing a risk assessment, though of course I won't know until I'm trying to sleep if my body will decide I've done something stupid for which I should be punished...

I give thanks for sorting out a boot load of things to go in Julie's car to the recycling centre and charity shops, plus sorting out a table top full of things to eat for tea with Rachel in a few...

I give thanks for forgoing a siesta for once... It was tough but I hate to feel I've reached the stage when it's a necessity rather than a treat...


Sunday 17 June 2018

Lay Lady Lay

Next was by the Sensational Alex Harvey Band, in case you weren't around 45 years ago...or can't remember, which is an occupational hazard of being around 45 yrs ago I guess ;-) If you don't know who is famous for singing Lay Lady Lay we are clearly not just of different generations but from different solar systems...

After a night of much discomfort I give thanks for a day of much laying across my medium sized brass bed and small velvety sofa...

For a sequel to the Golden Age of Coach Travel - the Modern Age. Wonderful if you love memorabilia and model motors, plus a rather wry narration. For a sandwich for my lunch because anything more seemed way too much bother. For tackling a bit more of The Form before my hands got too sore...and then a bit of snoring before forcing myself to the sewing machine to stitch the binding on before the light began to fade...


Apologies if you are getting bored with this, but thankfully I am not as I hope to spend my many sleepless nights as well as any mobile days to come admirng the fruits of my labour! It is something that makes me go 'Ooh!' and at a time when there are so many somethings to make me go 'Aaargh!' that is no bad thing indeed. And to have made it, with some considerable odds against me gives me pleasure too. Technically there is still the post-finishing off finishing off to do - threads to snip and tacking to take out but I am finished for the day, and off to dive into the last of the trifle before maybe one last snooze while I catch up with vintage space ships...

Saturday 16 June 2018

Next

I can't remember why I thought to call this post Next but I give thanks for anyone who reads it and thinks of a chap in a stripy jumper and not a high street store!

I give thanks for hitting the (local) high street here...a little later than planned due to a bad night with various aches and pains. Just in time for the wind to blow in some rain as a matter of fact but I give thanks for my much loved flowery cagoule...

I give thanks for trying to stick to a logistically sensible route but that always depends on being able to get what you wanted in the first place you go and the day didn't turn out like that. Nonetheless I give thanks for (eventually) both delivering and collecting a selection of items, plus ordering a couple more, managing not to whimper until I was staggering back up the stairs, and even that might have been due to the psychological discomfort of having to pay one of the most sullen and unwelcoming cab drivers I have ever encountered for the displeasure of his company.

I give thanks for giving my bad knee and swollen foot a good rest before feeding my face with some handy leftovers plus a scone from a schoolkids' charity stall.

I give thanks for the replacement (and perfect) trim arriving this morning. Since I only found and informed the company of the fault yesterday afternoon I am seriously impressed...and have, of course, sent them an appreciative message! Not got round to doing anything with it yet as I've been in serious need of some replacement sleep. I give thanks for being able to get some...

Friday 15 June 2018

Close to the edge

I give thanks for a day not overloaded with gratitude drawing to a close... Being tired and sore can sometimes make everything seem a bit glum, and certainly hard work, so I was giving thanks for the leftover food made yesterday and settling on the sofa to see how far I could get with tacking on the edging for my patchwork before my hands seized up when I discovered faults in part of the trim that meant a good deal of it would have to be unpicked! Grrr... Oh well, I give thanks for the practice in two sorts of non-attachment plus the fact that I was tacking the binding first not machining it straight on - that would have been much more annoying to undo. I give thanks for the ebay seller responding straight away and promising to send a replacement too. And for a large bowl of sherry trifle to cheer me up!

I give thanks for getting some household chores done in between a lot of dossing about. For discovering an old but recently repeated series on BBC4 about science fiction. Lots of vintage futuristic visuals to please my geeky eyes... For watching a cop on their tea break playing with his drone (this is not a euphemism!)

I give thanks for finally getting through to radiology for an X-ray appointment, and that I can have one fairly nearby...but not for a few weeks. I give thanks no one thinks there's anything serious the matter with my foot... but I'd still rather there was nothing at all.

Thursday 14 June 2018

Everything stops for tea

I give thanks for a nice cup of tea in the morning. Even though I have to make it myself there is so much to be grateful for - clean water, a pretty mug, electricity to power the kettle and fridge, the mobility to get to the kitchen to prepare it and a comfy bed to bring it back to!

I give thanks for a long lie in today and then a few relatively energetic hours during which I made some soup for later, sorted out some stuff for charity shops and did a bit of joining the patchwork to the back. And after that? I gave thanks for a lovely nap!

I give thanks for watching the police clearing more undergrowth and rubbisb down by the bins and parked vehicles. I'm not sure what they're looking for but (sad I know) I keep hoping they'll find it within sight of my kitchen window... I give thanks I don't have to try and park a car in the mess they've left.

I give thanks for watching the Pursuit of Happyness, one of those rare films I actually wanted to see as soon as it was released, but never managed to. I recorded it from TV a couple of years back but had to get a new box before I got round to playing it back. Well worth waiting for...

I give thanks for it dawning on me as I can't find lamp bases in the shape I prefer at I price I can afford to replace some old and scruffy ones...I could actually have a go at doing up the ones I have. I give thanks it took so long to think of this as I have so many other craft projects on the go...but that I thought of it before giving in and getting new lamps I don't really like!

Wednesday 13 June 2018

Smooth operator

Leading an increasingly solitary life, I give thanks the croaky voice I get when I start speaking after a few days silence can result in me sounding quite pitiful on the phone and may have helped smooth over some of the conveyancing related conflicts that make the vendors of the flat I want to buy make their estate get cross with me. Like I'm not hassling the solicitor enough or something. Seriously? Sigh...

I give thanks for some new 97% natural hair conditioner on special offer at Boots. No it doesn't make me look like the women in adverts because they have hairdressers to do unnatural things to their hair...but it does smell rather lovely!

I give thanks for watching from my kitchen window as a large dragonfly flitted about the bins...and for trying not to watch too much as I walked past the suited up police team still rummaging around outside.

I give thanks for a friendly chat with my favourite GP about Uniqlo Liberty dresses (we both have them), chakra necklaces (she's lost hers) and the foibles of the patient mentality, even fitting in a brief discussion about my foot which she thinks is probably beset with arthritis. I'll settle for that, plus the recommendation of Tiger Balm. She always says I'm Teflon but even Teflon can get scratched...

I give thanks for not being a snooze operator until I got home, despite much need and temptation in the form of some new sheets, duvet covers and pillowcases I've been collecting to go with my new patchwork bedspread. It's taking so long to finish the latter that I decided to start using the former anyway and they are soooo soft and silky!

Tuesday 12 June 2018

Get back

I give thanks for sleeping better last night... Most of the things I have the matter with me conspire against this happening, and my body and mind are very grateful when they enjoy a few recuperative joined up hours...


I give thanks for joining up the last of the pieces of my patchwork too...and, having rearranged the living room, that there's enough floor space to spread it out on the backing ready to sew. I know it's nothing special as patchwork goes, but as handicrafts get harder (along with everything else) the bar gets set ever lower, so I've actually rather impressed myself (so far...there's still plenty could go wrong!)

I give thanks for the stoic Tesco delivery driver who had to run the gauntlet of a money off voucher if I bought more stuff, plus a lot of my favourite heavy stuff being on special offer. I give thanks for cupboards, fridge and freezer bursting with yummy things...

I give thanks I made some dahl this morning too so, rather exhausted now from a bit of grovelling on the floor, sitting at the sewing machine and putting the shopping away, my tea is almost ready when I can get off my butt to heat it up.

I give thanks for a letter volunteered by my consultant to pass on to the decision making powers, explaining my unsuitability for anything much beyond sympathy...but thoughtfully worded in such a way so as to not make me feel any worse about it than I already do. Don't know if it will help but much appreciated..

I give thanks for Gary suggesting a trip out sometime to watch him play with his new drone camera in some suitable nearby scenery. Sounds good to me!

Monday 11 June 2018

Underneath the arches

Oh my, what fabulous weather! I give thanks for it being warm and sunny enough for even me to take off my cardigan and leggings.

I give thanks my new(ish) cooker has a small top oven so, not only is it cheaper to run by almost always using that, there's less to clean and less grovelling on the floor to do it (when I occasionally get round to it!)

I give thanks for Jenny giving me a lift down to town as my foot is still swollen and sore, and for a nice sit down and catch up chat at knitting between my numerous chores... I even managed to knit a few rows between scoffing biscuits!

I also give thanks for taking a little organic Gala apple with me to munch on a seat by the sea and keep off my feet and the ice cream! For still nothing wrong with my appetite...

For a cab home and for my lovely comfy sofa to rest on when I got home. I give thanks I can just make sandwiches for tea and there's
no one else to grumble...

I give thanks for finding my purse which pretended to be lost for a while...

Sunday 10 June 2018

How long

I can do very nicely without knights in any kind of armour thank you, but if one could pop by and serenade me that would be just fine! I always forget how much I love the sound of a lute (because, let's face it, in the average day you don't some across them a great deal any more do you?) but last night I watched a programme on Channel 5 and was astounded by the length of the neck of the instrument some guy in costume was (allegedly) playing in the in betweeny sponsorship bits. The mini ads for cars, chairs river cruises etc etc are wasted on me but an instrument is interesting, even if seriously out of my league... In fact I didn't ever remember seeing or hearing one of these before and so I give thanks for the internet for informing me it was a therobo...and providing this utter delight! It reminds me of a Celtic harp, only a few octaves deeper. Someone should write some music for the two together - immediately!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeUcGD4rRRc

I give thanks for being, if not lively, at least a little more capable of human life these last twenty four hours, catching up to some extent with the backlog of domestic chores. For making some tasty, if simple things to eat. For finding some potential wedding dress material for Laura on line. For seeing Nadal get cramp in his hands - not that I wanted him to suffer, but that's the second time I've seen someone get it on TV and in a bizarre way it's kind of reassuring to see it in action in someone else because it's actually rather freaky when it happens to you and your fingers seize up in a spasm.

Oh and I give thanks for seeing a clip of Maureen on Driving School. If you watched the series many moons ago that will be all you need to know. Bless her, one of the few adults even less suited to be in charge of a vehicle than me!

Saturday 9 June 2018

Toast

Haha...I thought I might be a mite fatigued after pushing energy and mobility to their limits yesterday, but I give thanks I didn't realise exactly how tired I was going to be.

I gave thanks for tea and toast in the (late) morning...and, despite all the reasons why not, for the convenience of tea bags. For falling asleep again to the sounds of wedding bells, giving thanks for those who are loved and full of hope and joy... For not being invited - to anything ever very much. Sometimes when I'm feeling sad this seems rather a shame, but as least when I'm cream crackered it's a bonus to be only letting myself down I guess.

For more toast for my lunch (different sort of bread - one must strive for a varied diet!) and a great deal more flolloping about before finally managing to get dressed and clear up the kitchen enough to make a mess again making a plate of something more like food.

For the phone call from my bank about a possible fraud not being a fraud...and for the account activity in question not being a fraud either but just me trying to keep those plates a-spinning. For another wee nap to recover from all that...

For the fragrance of those pinks in my bedroom...the blooms are past their best freshness, but those pale pink ones have the loveliest scent even when they're beginning to droop and go brown which is why I chose them over the other colours in the roadside bucket

For realising I have been doing this (ie keeping a gratitude blog) for over seven years... I checked it out and it was 7th of June 2011 I started. Mind boggling...

Friday 8 June 2018

Happy Birthday

I give thanks for a late great birthday treat - a day out with Laura to a National Trust property in the next county. I'd been once before some years ago but got sidetracked in the extensive gorgeous grounds, so this time was determined to see some of the medieval and Tudor treasures inside...and she'd been as a ten year old and had forgotten a lot. As a result, as ladies rather fond of needlecraft, we were astonished and delighted by a profusion of domestic textiles, embroideries and quilting and tapestries as well as the exquisite wood carvings and wonderful higgeldy piggeldy architecture of nooks and twisted stairs, cobbles and leaded windows...


I give thanks for a feast for the taste buds as well as the eyes, with a sharing picnic of favorite assorted treats which we ate on a bench over looking a quintessential English country garden. I wasn't up for walking far, but after a rest I walked as far as I could through all the lush and fragrant loveliness before we partaking of afternoon repast of Danish pastries provided by Laura and a flask of tea provided by me, by a pond with waterlilies and dragonflies.

I give thanks for a good friendship unbroken by time spent apart...For the sun breaking through the murky clouds we set off in...For stopping at one of the roadside honesty stalls to buy potatoes, strawberries and pinks... For the traffic being kind and having someone to drive me through it... For the variety of beautiful countryside hereabouts... For having assorted leftovers for tea and nothing else to do all weekend as, though very happily and pleasantly so, I am also very tired and rather stiff and sore!

Thursday 7 June 2018

Hey good lookin'

Oof! I could have done with a rest day today so I give thanks having to prepare for some pleasant non-medical outings coming up was the reason for not flopping about as much as I might have preferred to.

I give thanks for putting together some picnic nibbles for tomorrow when, all being well, Laura's taking me for a bit of a day out. To say I was cooking would be pushing it a bit, but I made some feta pastries from ready rolled pastry and chopped up pepper etc, heated up some part baked fruit bread and falafels, and opened a tin of stuffed vine leaves... I give thanks for 'alternative' convenience food and for the convenience of only being averagely clumsy!

These tasks had had to be fitted into afternoon as tonight (if I can stay awake to get the bus... and get off it!) I'm going for a gong bath, and methinks I'll not want to get up any earlier than I have to in the morning, I give thanks for making some granola for tomorrow's breakfast though so I will want to get up in time for that...

I give thanks though I'm very tired, and everything seems to be taking far too much time and effort, I've not been in a lot of pain today


Wednesday 6 June 2018

All around the world

With apologies to the planet for the air miles, I give thanks for a very tasty (con)fusion tea - cooking some rather mangey old cauliflower, carrots and potatoes with onion and peas in Thai green curry sauce, adding crunchy peanut butter to the mix and rice and quinoa on the side.

For enjoying this while catching up with an astonishingly dramatic and emotionally demanding tennis match from earlier in the day. One of the best I (and all the commentators) have ever seen. For then catching an old Midsomer Murders I'd never come across before and, in instalments, managing two whole rows of knitting before my hands began to seize up!

For making it through a night of mean dreams, pain, discomfort and distress. All the literature suggests one should talk to family and friends about difficult feelings, but not everyone has those sort of relationships and I give thanks at least I know I don't, and don't overshare with people who'd rather I didn't.

I give humongous thanks for my knee being better, and all my other aches and pains being under control, so I was able to actually enjoy going about my business for the first time in a couple of weeks. For my lovely neighbours, including whoever it was who left a bouquet by the bins where the chap's body was, with a note saying 'I don't know who you were but you didn't deserve to die like this'. For the staff in the opticians, doctor's, pharmacy, shops and cafés for making my sad mood dissipate a little...and for the brilliant busker on the Triangle singing love songs and bringing it back, but in a good way...with a takeaway tea and a spot of Viennese pùtisserie... For Nick the cab driver being back on the rank so there was a nice ride home, and for the consultant calling me 'delightful' in her report. I've seen this before in my medical notes, and suspect it's code for 'won't stop talking' (or worse) but it's still pleasant to hear you're pleasant even if you're not sure it's true.

I give thanks for all the people enjoying planning or going on holidays. I ran into one of the few folk I know who isn't on one...and she proceeded to talk about travel. I give thanks I had a legitimate excuse to get away... even if 'getting away' is impossible. Oh and I give thanks I've come up with a response for the next time someone suggests I've had 'enough' trips already. I shall ask 'Have you had enough drinks?'

Tuesday 5 June 2018

Ironic

I give thanks for all the opportunities to learn from life's lessons that come my way...but goodness me sometimes I wish it could be half term!

I give thanks for a much needed acupuncture treatment, and for Rachel moving the bookcase a centimetre or two so the door would close beside it, which I hadn't noticed needed doing until it was too late. For pasta salad for tea with leftovers for lunch and the washing up done so a quiet day in the kitchen (except for the spin cycle of course!). For getting up and sorted in time for the surveyor, who was a very pleasant chap...and then giving in to the need for a snooze on the sofa. It's taken ten years of getting older and iller to learn to relax about needing extra rest, but now that form has left me re-assessing myself as a useless lazy scrounger which is sad as though thinking positively might just help with health conditions, thinking negatively tends to have the opposite effect. Oh well, I guess I should be grateful for dialysis round the corner because then the government will be allow me to be tired...

I give thanks for a pretty little necklace put together by request to Jan from a bit of bobbly chain and a magnetic clasp. I'm not putting on weight so maybe it's all the emptying buckets building up muscle in my neck and shoulders but most of my others seem too tight at the moment and will have to be made longer... I give thanks I know I don't need necklaces but life is a bit short on frivolity just now and it cost even less than I thought it might - ie nothing at all! Thank you Jan!

For catching up with last 24 hrs In Police Custody which was about a fatal stabbing of a young man in a residential street. I always find these real life investigations interesting but particularly this scenario in view of recent circumstances round here. For my hands being free from pain and other tasks long enough to manage a few minutes sewing my sun/moon hanging...

I've been craving Mediterranean scenery lately...but I still give thanks for the green green grass (and trees) of home...

Monday 4 June 2018

Oranges and lemons

Well, it was a strirry stirry night on the terrace, with speculation and hypothesis rife. I give thanks for the opportunity to overhear human natures revealing themselves in the doorstep gossip and chat, though today with the tent still up and the bushes still being searched I wished I could overhear more of how the investigation is progressing instead of someone's strimmer buzzing away! We have been door to doored, and I give thanks for having no information...and knowing I have no information...

I give thanks for a bag of rather sleazy looking implements, that are in fact ice lolly moulds ready to make renally friendly chilled treats when summer comes back again. In the meantime I give thanks for mandarin oranges in lemon vegan jelly...with very non-vegan cream!

My knee is still being seriously unkind so I give thanks a trip out with Laura was postponed, and for the sun going in and out and not feeling I was missing its warmth. I give thanks for having a bit of a tidy up and clean ready for the prospective buyers mortgage company survey tomorrow.

I give thanks I think Rachel is due in a while to treat my many and various infirmities...and that I also think it's her turn to cook tea. I could be wrong of course...but it's nice to think it's true...

Sunday 3 June 2018

Every breath you take

I give thanks for the pain being generally gentler today...except for one of my knees which didn't get the memo and, despite being strapped up with an Actipatch, is causing a lot of bad language when ever it's moved. I see what the trainers do to injured joints on the tennis courts with envy...and give thanks for elastic tubular bandaging...

I give thanks it stopped me gawping out the kitchen window too long at both activities and hiatus following the finding of a deceased person in the road down the terrace from me. I'm always fascinated by investigative procedures and found myself wishing the neighbour clearing out his cellar wasn't making quite so much noise so I could hear more of what the officers were saying. I also give thanks for the opportunity to ponder on how 'somebody' becomes 'a body' - such a different concept and only a breath apart.

I give thanks for the relief of the rest of me being just averagely achy so I could rest and recuperate. I might not move much when I'm sore but somehow even that takes a lot of effort... I give thanks for doing something vaguely like cooking for the first time in days...

I give thanks for a day off office work, not even trying to find words to try to explain to the DWP the difference between surviving and skiving. For not needing to go down or up the stairs, though the sunshine was inviting that would just be inviting more pain. For the Red Arrows going to the airshow unusually slowly so I had time to get to a different window, and choosing a flight path that meant I could watch them a while.

I give thanks for the Police. No, the blond ones of the 70s and 80s (sigh!)...




Saturday 2 June 2018

Everyone's gone to the moon

I give thanks I didn't go to the party. I mean I rarely fit in anywhere but these people were dressed as fruit and veg (plus a chef)! It was lovely to see them though, out in the garden posing for photos...It cheered me up on a difficult evening with pain, fretting over the work capability assessment form and what my latest blood tests will show. Just one of those is bad enough - all three at once is tricksy, I can tell you! The only way I deal with all that's wrong with me is not to think about it, thinking about it makes it feel much worse...

I give thanks for phone games and a book to see me through achy parts of the night.

I give thanks for another  book from Ann, and my morning sideways skim of the paper front pages. It's not the so-called news that fascinates but the way it's presented - the language and layout choices, the black and white 'them and us' attitudes... But most especially the non-headline front page stories. I'm sure there's a technical term for these lifestyle lures - buy me and be the kind of person who needs to know what a famous person said, or see pictures of more stuff you might like to buy, dishes you'd like to recreate to feel that you can cook, places you might like to stay and pretend to be someone else for a while... Gee sometimes I'm grateful I'm only nominally part of the human race, it all looks so complicated!

I give thanks for getting out to do my bits in town, and for not falling asleep in Mimas deserted courtyard when I stopped to have a rest... For meeting a few people to pass the time of day with, as they say, including a cab driver I've not seen for a while... For Mr Tesco making some me some food again when I arrived home exhausted...and it actually being rather nice! Ready meals are damn useful when I'm tired and sore, but rarely something I'd otherwise choose...

I give thanks for Facebook posts, the sounds of wedding bells and aircraft going to and from the show reminding me of people enjoying their day. For watching tennis matches and thinking that sums it up - same event viewed so differently from different sides of the net.

Friday 1 June 2018

I can see clearly now

So, the day after a hospital appointment is a day spent waiting to hear if I have to turn round and go back more immediately! I give thanks for waiting today because sitting about not doing much is just about all I'm fit for... For making a tentative start on the work capability assessment form. I can see it's going to be a lot of work just filling it in - I had to have a rest half way through typing out my list of medications!

I give thanks for my new window unit. The sea has more or less disappeared behind vegetation, but even greenery looks better through clear glass not condensation. Such a pleasant man came to fit it too...


I give thanks for tennis from Roland Garros to keep half an eye on. I can't watch too much at once as I can't see clearly through one of the lenses of my specs, so I give thanks for pause and rewind and fast forward...and an eye test appointment booked next week.

I give thanks my monthly electricity direct debit has been considerably reduced. That was an unusual and welcome surprise! For discovering the reason I can't put credit on my phone is that Visa is down, though mildly irritated it cost me a long phone call to find out, I'd rather that than something personally wrong with my credit.

I give thanks for the most of the neighbours being out today so I could find out my sofa is just the right size for a nap. For listening to some other ones getting ready for a party. For being advised about the possibility of noise and invited down for a drink. I give thanks for knowing this is merely politeness...and it would be polite to stay at home.
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