Wednesday 31 May 2017

Not party to it

I give thanks for receiving my postal voting papers. So much easier than going to the polling station, but still so hard to know where to put my cross for best effect. I have friends of every political hue who must think this is very strange...I assume because they believe you can assume everything you choose to believe in the run up to an election must be true, and that if enough people put enough crosses in particular places the prize of a future faithful to our dreams will be realised.

It seems to me we all want pretty much the same things in essence, even the candidates themselves... these being: to maintain our own personal status quo, if not to appreciably improve it;  that the contents of country's coffers be used for that which we consider important, and where cuts and savings are to be made that they don't impact on services or facilities that are precious to us, or adversely affect those we hold dear... And if we all do want the same in this way, it seems pretty arbitrary where those crosses go as some will be chuffed and some will be miffed and hold the others responsible...even though they were just acting out of self interest too. And as long as we continue to do this what can ever really change?

Unlike many (if not most) I don't automatically think my wants are any more worthy than anyone else's, nor my ideas any more right, nor that if they disagree with me they are wrong...or a wrong 'un and I have a right to put them down (literally or metaphorically). I don't think I am any more or any less due care and consideration than anyone else whatever their personal habits, roots, aspirations, affiliations, abilities...and if I'm not happy with my lot (or little) I don't think apportioning blame to either other individuals or groups is at all productive, or even therapeutic. I also understand that to a lot of folk this all seems somewhat naive, if not downright nihilistic...and exceedingly exasperating to boot! But that's fine...if you want 'normal' opinion there's plenty of it about...

Anyway... Back to the gratitudes. Hmm...I give thanks for rustling up a hasty pudding last night with squashed strawberries, half a turning brown cooking apple and some out of date crumble mix. For the nearest neighbours going out just as I was wondering if it was too late to disturb them with a spin cycle on the washing machine.

Too tired to move this morning, I gave thanks that Mima planned for such a contingency and provided taxi fares for visiting Molly. For doing that which needed to be done at home and out and about as best as I could through a fog of great fatigue, and hordes of flocking tourists. For having quite a lot of pizza slices in the freezer as this didn't include managing to cook the first batch without burning them... For a quick trip to the land of nod on the agenda for when I've finished munching them...

Tuesday 30 May 2017

Public image

I give thanks for public transport. Sometimes I'm not that keen on the public I have to share it with but hey ho and all that... I give thanks for the beautiful local scenery of coast and moor with lots of lush countryside in between, and for it somehow looking even more delightful on the way back from acupuncture...

I give thanks for earbuds bringing Buddhist chants to my brain to remind me to be aware of how much we all have in common and have compassion for my fellow travellers...and/or thumpier stuff to simply drown the outsiders out. For a motorbike roaring past the bus at the end of Funk Soul Brother and thoroughly confusing my head...

I give thanks for Molly waiting behind the door when I arrived to feed and make a fuss of her, and a chairful of sunshine on the sheltered patio on a mostly cloudy and breezy afternoon. For actually falling asleep on Mima's sofa...well she did say to make myself at home while she was away and it had been a very busy day!


I give thanks for pottering through the late afternoon waiting for the viewers to come and go...and thus being quite pleased with a long queue at the post office. For some good bits and bobs arriving from my favourite online bargain store. For having our new electronic bus arrival board pointed out to me...and spotting this artwork all by myself. Well you would, wouldn't you...and it's all made of things. I love things made of things... which probably doesn't describe the process or product very well, but I'm too tired to care just now!

For coming home to an immaculate flat - even by my usually pretty prettified standards. For some leftovers heating up for tea and the bath water heating up for afters...

Monday 29 May 2017

Must press on

I give thanks for almost finishing the ironing last night as today the iron wouldn't work. For trying all the usual things - different socket, different fuse etc and for valiantly attempting to get inside the case and check the wiring but to no avail (so far!) I give thanks for constantly reminding myself while all this was going on that the smell of burning was coming from the bonfire outside and not related at all!

I give thanks for the couple in the bottom flat having a busy weekend doing it themselves. They're improving their bathroom which innvolves raising the floor in a cupboard in the hall. All visible signs of the place being on the up gratefuly received...

I give thanks for pottering about with pre-view cleaning, pre-move sorting out, pre-preparing Cluesday Tuesday crosswords...all satisfying stuff without being especially arduous.

For hearing from folk on their travels and believing my time will come (again). For being warm enough without a lot of clothes on...so many months of the year I'm hunched and bundled up against the cold and it's as if something comes unknotted inside when the temperature rises, even if it's not actually sunny. When it's sunny something inside smiles...and something outside if I can get outside in it too...

Sunday 28 May 2017

Swim where?

I give thanks for finding two sale price tops that both go with the two bottoms I found on line to cover all my eventualities so well. Any time any place anywhere it's...bikini! Well, or tankini...or cozzy even as I still have a nice one of those. All I need now of course is to be led to water...preferably warm water! Meanwhile I give thanks for a late lie in with a couple of mugs of Earl Grey...and the dream machine that is internet access! I give thanks for not being as sore as I thought I might be after yesterday's exertions...

I give thanks for wondering what to have to eat and remembering I already made today's tea last night for the flavours to 'develop'! For remembering my Eurosport log in first time - woohoo!

I give thanks for finishing off the sorting out job I started last weekend, but abandoned for fun and sun, and thus producing another bag full of charity shop donations...including swimwear that no longer fits! For catching up with similarly abandoned cleaning chores.

I give thanks for knitting a few rows of Bob's now unseasonable jumper, including executing a tricky manoeuvre for a shoulder seam. For managing the unreasonably tricky manoeuvre that is cutting my nails...never mind toes, right hand is hard enough. What doesn't kill you doesn't always make you stronger, certainly where strokes are concerned. I give thanks for still having some functionality in my left hand, and that by sleight of hand what I don't have doesn't often show, though it's a good thing I never eat steak - I'd have to pick it up and chew it if I did! Plus I might not be so excited about a pan of dhal waiting for me...

Saturday 27 May 2017

Garden partly

Happy belated birthday to me! I give thanks for a much postponed but so worth waiting for treat from Rachel - a trip to favourite house and garden nestling in a combe above a rocky shore. I've been before and it never fails to amaze and delight, the house being not at all 'stately' but gracious and spacious and comfortable, and the 'gardens' largely landscaped ornamental shrubs and trees. I give for possibly the best smelling rose ever...spicy and sweet...bit like the lush curry I had for lunch, and the cake later wasn't half bad either. I give thanks Rachel enjoyed it too...it's so nice when you share something you love and it's appreciated isn't it?


I give thanks for strapping up my knees with Actipatches over night and them being pretty well behaved today, along with other joints and muscles that had a bit of a workout on the slopes. Worth it all for this though eh? I give thanks for patient and punctual bus drivers, and the funny and interesting young Czech woman I met waiting for one. So good not to be trapped in mindless small talk eh? For the heart surge of emotion I get at the beauty in the countryside and coastline round here, even when it hasn't been artfully arranged by horticultural architects. For a message from the estate agent saying someone would like to come and view on Tuesday. Breath will not be held, but fantasies of living in the place I saw yesterday will continue...

I give thanks I've a couple of rest days planned now...and some thoughtful French folk are putting on some tennis to entertain me...plus there'll be rich blokes will be driving too fast around a town centre tomorrow as well. Knitting, Higgedy pie and strawberries and cream... yep, sounds delightfully recuperative to me!


Friday 26 May 2017

Close examination

I give thanks the orthoptist has decided she doesn't need to gaze into my eyes any more. She's a nice enough woman but one less set of appointments to keep is fine by me!

For another fine day, which made the tortuous wait for buses to and from the hospital rather more pleasant than it might have been. For not being stuck in the traffic in a car.

For a fishcake and a takeaway tea for my lunch, and the total for the two being £1.40! For finding a quietish spot on the rather busy back beach, where locals in the know go when the east wind is blowing.


For enjoying the textures of ebbing tide and weedy shore, before a fresh group of freshly examined teenagers gathered nearby for another question and answer post mortem session. Yesterday on the bus it was boys discussing physics papers (I think), and today it was girls who'd just been asked to compare and contrast language in poetry and analyse the use of  correspondence by Mr Darcy, Mr Collins, Elizabeth et al. I give thanks I no longer have to interpret literature according to the current educational trends...it never was my strong point. In fact I was thrown out of class for suggesting my own point of view was as valid as the teacher's...and still give thanks for finding at uni thirty plus years later academia had finally caught up with me!

I give thanks for being very taken with the flat I went to see this afternoon, though I've still not got a buyer for mine. I'd have been tempted to take it otherwise and it's not really terribly practical...but I could imagine living very happily there nonetheless. Oh well, sometimes you come across something that feels kind of right but the timing isn't quite Will have to wait and see. Actually reading back through this post it's almost all about waiting isn't it? I give thanks I'm good at that...

Thursday 25 May 2017

Guilt trip

I give thanks I love the sunshine because if it hadn't been shining so brightly again I reckon I might have snoozed in bed with a book today and given my sore bits a rest. I give thanks for Mima giving me a lift home yesterday afternoon or I'm sure they would have been sorer!

I'm trying to build up my stamina for travel as I yearn to go places so much, and so I give thanks for managing another journey today, into the city for a cheap hair cut and a few other odds and ends. I give thanks for remembering to wear the dress I made last summer expressly for this purpose being cool, comfortable, practical and less like the tail end of a festival than a lot of stuff I wear when the weather is warm (whilst still not looking like anything anyone else would wear of course!) For the young woman who gave my hair a trim complimenting me on it. I give thanks for being a skinny bint who is nifty with (despite?) pins and needles, and can turn sarongs into actual garments. For buying a top that nearly fits...and baking a good pudding last night to help me fill it out a bit more...

I give thanks for all the good food available on street stalls or in the shops. For it being warm enough to snack outside as eating inside on your own is never that comfortable is it?

Though I miss long walks I enjoy being an elevated passenger this time of year - the treasure of the coutryside laid out to see, with lush hedgerows and all the different greens of plants and trees. I give thanks for my first sight this summer of swifts and martins swooping well...swiftly! For rhododendrons and azaleas glimpsed in gardens - I love their showy brightness against the shiny dark green of their leaves.

I give thanks for music to take my head away from the rather tedious conversations (or monologues) around me... For wry amusement at the male of the species' need to impart pearls of what they perceive as wisdom...and the female urge to state the mind numbingly obvious, though of course we all are capable of both...and culpable!

Wednesday 24 May 2017

Going with the love flow

I give thanks for seeing people share stories of kindness and compassion on social media, finding the light in the darkness. It's so easy to spread bad news and hate and as we never know if half of what we hear and read is true we might as well share wat seems to be good, you know! Particular thanks to articles who reported homeless people doing what they could to help the injured and dying with an explanation along the lines of 'Why not? We might not have anywhere to live but we still have hearts, we are still human beings!' Remember, even ones you think are the bad guys (and girls) have hearts in there somewhere...

I give thanks for my aches and pains being amenable to my first proper unchauffeured shopping trip, and for my extra sensory consumer perception meaning I just went to the places I would find what I was looking for instead of endless fruitless traipsing around, because I still don't have a lot of traipse to spare. For finding a big bright shopper/beach/overnight bag with pockets and less absorbancy than the one I've been using which could double as a towel it soaks up so much rain... It matches my shoes which amuses me greatly as my mother always said they should! For a lovely soft scarf in pretty colours to wrap around my neck when I'm out at night on a beach and it's not raining...or whatever!

I give thanks for the nearest bus stop no longer seeming an impossible distance away, and that by getting on at the that one I can let everyone else get off at the main stop and haul myself up those stairs to the tourist seat in the front. For the wonderful views of sparkling sea, tranquil estuary, plush green fields with little brown rabbits here and there. For wondering why the white van man pulled over on yellow lines by a busy junction and then realised almost under the bus wheels was another man with a smaller van he was struggling to push up the incline and the first one had stopped to help.

For great soul guitar busking on the street drowning out at least some of the moaners. For not living somewhere where everyone seems to moan though to be fair I might if I lived where they do! For Imee Ooi's soothing and uplifting music in my ears where possible. For the gorgeous gorgeous warm sunshine...and making it back to Mima's for tea and cake to enjoy some more of it with her and work out some plans for a least one night away. For a smoked haddock fishcake and salad waiting...

Tuesday 23 May 2017

Mustang dally

Well, I gave thanks for the sunshine yesterday... but today I've been grateful for cloud, as I've had a good run (though not actually involving running obviously) and now it feels as if I might have run a great distance...or possibly been run over.

I give for nothing very important to do...nor anything very pleasurable. For having two deliveries, one in the morning and one in the afternoon so I had to get up... and stay up too, dallying as much as I could bear and creeping through some bits of this and that in between times.  I give thanks for pinching about an inch from a couple of pairs of linen trousers so my body can be discerned beneath, and making a start on a cardigan fastening that has so far not proved as tecnically challenging as I feared, though my hands keep seizing up so it's not that easy either...

I give thanks for my new comfy and colourful Mustang pumps, and lots of fresh veg on special offer from Mr Tesco. For making a mistake and ordering much more smoked cheddar than I thought I had, as I love smoked cheddar a lot, and it was on special offer too!

Monday 22 May 2017

On the bright side


I give thanks I got a snap of these pimped up scooters yesterday before they buzzed off elsewhere somewhere. There were some impressive motorbikes at the other side of the event, and the segregation interested me. Though far too young for it to be of any relevance I remember the playground question were you a mod or a rocker and, seeing the appeal of each, I could never quite make up my mind, though the correct establishment answer that they were both beyond the pale was clearly never going to cross my mind!

In manifestly manipulated manifesto time, the issue of making apparently important distinctions and choices and then demonising those who have made different ones gives me the shudders. I give thanks anyone I know given to political (or religious) ranting knows better than to rant at me!

I give thanks my brief foray into the academics of anthropology mean I understand that to reinforce the sense of belonging in any group one must identify (and probably vilify) those who are outside it, but the taking of sides seems so often a precursor to the taking up of arms verbally if not literally. I give thanks for my perennial tendency for multifaceted opinion...no matter how exasperating others may find it sometimes.

Meanwhile, on the bright side, I give thanks for sunshine warm enough to take off my jacket and roll up my trouser legs. For enjoying one of those 'Aren't we lucky to live here?' chats for some minutes with a stranger on the back beach before we realised we actually knew each other, though largely only by phone! For popping in to knitting and seeing Dorothy who I've not had a chance to talk to for such a long time. For a potter round our friendly shops and businesses wearing pearls, baseball boots and a silly grin because it really is such a joy to be here, especially when summer arrives before the visitors do!


Sunday 21 May 2017

Classic weekend

On Friday afternoon when shopkeepers were saying to me 'have a good weekend!' I had to repress the urge to respond that I don't really have them the way other people do...and I give thanks that I did as in actual fact I did!


I give thanks for being brought these gorgeous mulitcoloured tulips, for going out to see classic cars, motorbikes and multi mirrored Lambrettas on the green, for talking to people I've not seen for a while, people I saw the day before...and meeting some entirely new people entirely outside a riverside pub in the Sunday afternoon sunshine. I give thanks for baker's cake and fresh raspberries and deli hummus with some handy leftover rice and salad...For an early night on the way after a late one yesterday.

I give thanks for the folk who still take the time to look at my blog. It feels as if I must write it come what may, but reading is voluntary of course, and I never cease to wonder and be humbled that people actually do!

Saturday 20 May 2017

First class post

I give thanks for being quite pleased with some of my post collected yesterday (though the vacuum packed bikini puzzled me when I felt the flat but crinkly hard packet )...and I give thanks for being very pleased with the rest of it, including two second hand tops bartered for on ebay that were nicer than I imagined, plus a letter confirming a hospital appointment rearranged for more than two months ahead. I'd called to cancel the one a few weeks away as I might (fingers very crossed) have the chance to be away myself, but when they'd asked was the next available date OK I'd said 'Fine by me as long as it's OK with the consultant' and they'd said they'd check. I know I'm very fortunate to be in this position, but so many years of having to turn up to see various people and explain I feel much better than they say I should does sometimes seem a tedious waste of my time as well as theirs...

I give thanks for eating far too much deli cake and curling up on the sofa with Jake (Gyllenhall in a movie on TV).

I give thanks for not having anything planned for today, and then getting stuck into a two day plan to reorganise the cupboard under the stairs for what really ought to be the last time til things get taken out forever...or, failing that, til when I need thermals and fur lined boots again. I give thanks for jolly good sorts...including Mima who offered to disrupt this scheme by taking me out this afternoon (and to the tip - woohoo!) and Colin who prescribed more cake and a nap before he comes round later. For thus happily shovelling all as yet unsorted parts back into the cupboard with those that have been done, going forth and tipping and shopping and sharing Costa treats.

I give thanks for finding just the neighbour I wanted to ask about another neighbour, finding out she wanted to ask me something herself and that he was OK. For a Higgedy pie waiting for my tea...and, because I do sometimes do what doctors say, maybe a little snooze on the way.

Friday 19 May 2017

Wet paint

Well, I've been in a bit of a low mood the last couple of days so I'd decided not to expect too much from the first viewing of my flat...but the one thing I didn't expect was that it would be cancelled. So hmm...I guess I'm grateful I wasn't hoping for great things, and that I got up a bit earlier than I might have done and cleaned and tidied the place a lot more than I might have done even if it all turned out to be travail to no avail.

I felt a bit lost and at a loss after the estate agent called...um, so I give thanks I've plenty of practice at that. And that I couldn't sit about twiddling my thumbs as my hands are still pretty sore... I give thanks for getting a load of laundry done instead, that I wouldn't have wanted hanging around with people looking around the place...and for my washing machine obviously!

I give thanks for going out in the rain which I thought would suit my mood as there'd be less shiny happy people about (I want others to be having a better time than me, of course I do, but I don't always want to watch or listen!) I give thanks for being able to see waves spreading over the sand, not holidaymakers, for the Coastwatch second hand book box with its special plastic cover so you can see which 50p bargains you might like even in bad weather, and for shops and businesses being quiet and free of queues.

I give thanks for getting wet - I'd forgotten how exhilarating it can be! And that I'd worn a padded coat as a little bit cold is good too, but any colder would not have been fun. That after this morning's disappointment it reminded me to give thanks for the privilege of a home to go to to appreciate this as a luxury...and for not having the luxury of a car or I probably wouldn't get it! I give thanks when I went out in the much less torrential rain a couple of days ago I managed to take a photo of this very weathered bus stop seat I'm continuingly grateful is not renovated as I see such beauty in its ever increasing decrepitude. Biased much? Yeah, probably!



Thursday 18 May 2017

Hand signals

Yikes, I wish I hadn't tried to play my guitar and knit in the same day! Oh no, it's meant to be a gratitude blog isn't it? I mean I give thanks this is a very rare occurrence now...probably the first time in a dozen years or so. And probably won't happen again for my hands' sake...if not for my heart's...

I give thanks for forgetting to turn the hot water off after the washing and washing up last night, so I could have a second bath lying in the water and trying not to move them for the worst bit. I give thanks if I keep them still it really does help with the pain...if nothing else...

For emerging in time to see the end of a lovely sunset. For the bright moonlight later. For vivid wish fulfilment dreams...though they left me wistfully wishing for fulfilment all day. I give thanks it was a day of too much soreness and stuckness for anything much beyond wistfulness and wishing it away any way. For the pink pearl sea at sunset and the colours in the sky.


Wednesday 17 May 2017

Fire and rain

I give thanks a flat I've had my eye on for a while is back on the market...not that I'm in a position to buy it yet but it's nice when you get the feeling the universe might be giving you a second chance. The universe is giving me a second chance to think about sciatic nerve paths, and I have to admit I'm not quite so grateful about that...but there'd been no improvement for taking it easier yesterday so I give thanks for feeling so fired up today I have to take (at least some) action anyway. Besides, the leak bucket needed emptying and some cross photos sending to people who are supposed to be getting the roof fixed. I give thanks no one has wanted to come and see my own flat today ... but for sending some ferocious mental pleas to powers that be beyond our ken to start some balls rolling please...

We all have some struggle and challenge in life I guess, and I give thanks for being brought up to know most people don't give a flying whatever about most other people's feelings. Yes, you can pay someone to sit in a room with you for fifty minutes and pretend but...nah! And here in stiff upper lip land we are taught to drink alcohol and take antidepressants to soften the blows but....nah to that as well! Oh well, I give thanks my own favourite therapies are really quite hard to come by these days or I'm sure I'd be tempted to overindulge...Today I really felt the need to play guitar but remembered I've only written one song so far suitable for my manual limitations so there's something else to overcome. We shall, you know, we shall...


I give thanks for the bright seed pods on the mimosa tree. For taking a bus ride in the rain to try on some shoes for when it's dry...and mercilessly hunting them down on the internet when neither he local shop nor many a website had a pair in the right size and colour. For forgetting my walkman and being reminded how essential it is to have one to survive travelling on public transport alone...

Oh...and when I'd nearly finished writing this, for getting a call from the estate agent to book a viewing in a couple of days. I give thanks for feeling the cosmos actually paid attention earlier on :-)

Tuesday 16 May 2017

Little at large

I give thanks for broccoli with lemon parsley butter for part of my tea yesterday. Never had that before - very yummy! For Rachel swapping some of the lovely sourdough walnut bread she brought with her for some butter which she didn't. The bread was so delicious I actually considered going to the next county to get some for myself...but that particular town doesn't have a railway station (any more). Oh well...

For being so relaxed during treatment (with earplugs in and eyes shut) I tuned out almost all sensory signals, though I was aware of vibrations after a while.  These turned out to be Rachel's footsteps...boy, did I jump when she touched my hand!

For hearing from Colin recovering from his lurgy and with some good music to share though the original of this became so firmly stuck in my head it was playing all through a very strange dream later about the dangers of...killer chocolate??? Had to keep making sure it was properly wrapped up to minimise the risks...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slbfJtewzvE&app=desktop

I give thanks for resisting the urge to go out today...The joints were nervous about the walk to and from the bus stop and the bank balance in a panic about what I might do in between. For getting lots of little odds and sods sorting out jobs about the place instead, including turning a pretty little Breton butter biscuit tin into a button box for all the odd ones that keep turning up in every place I tidy and organise.


I give thanks for finding I own two pairs of summer trousers that fit, and one that will with a bit of a nip and tuck. I am clearly a somewhat different shape now I've had one and a lot of things I've dug out of that part of the wardrobe hang rather more loosely than even comfort might require. I give thanks I do like the shape I am now however, and think I've found a pair of the same retro style ruched high waist bikini bottoms I've bought before on line, which are far more flattering than anything designed for my particular needs - and far cheaper too, so it's not the end of the world if not.

Monday 15 May 2017

Next best things

I give thanks for the Barcelona bumper cars...an excellent Grand Prix with plenty of will he/won't he overtaking and a very emotional young Kimi fan.

For having some Best Offers accepted on eBay last night... Just have to accept I won't know if I think the goods are actually the best thing until they arrive.

For a long but productive lie in dealing with phone calls, emails, texts and messages. For the buzz when you see a word as a crossword clue...it's a bit like when you see a crossword clue as a word but actually even better!

For catching up with household chores before a lift to the library from Jenny. For having amassed a big bag of stuff for the food bank collection point there... For there being just the right amount of people for a conversation and the cake that Linda brought.

For the wet start day turning just blustery and the sea being pretty much there just for me. For my legs carrying me a slow but surprisingly long way... That it's Rachel's turn to make tea as I seem to have become stuck to the sofa since I got home.

Sunday 14 May 2017

Now you don't

I give thanks I didn't have to watch that singing thing on TV last night. Of course nobody had to watch it but I give thanks so many people seem to enjoy it so much! I give thanks for filling in a quiet night in both real and virtual worlds watching the excellent C4 4-parter Born to Kill. Genuinely scary and not in any Scandinavian so you can look away from the TV screen now and then and still understand what's going on...

For following a plane's journey and the stream of bright pink pointers marking yachts racing at night via transport tracking sites. For all the holiday photos people have been sharing...

I give thanks for hearing from Bob, also having an alternative Saturday evening's birthday weekend entertainment and randomly messaging me rather later than he (or indeed anyone else) normally would, as if aware I was awake and, as the programme had just ended, wondering what to do next. For being a mother for so many years now I have to do sums on my fingers to check... I always think single parents should have a big fuss made of them on their children's birthdays, but of course if you're a single parent there's no one but you to do that job too!

I give thanks for waking much too early from too much bright outside and too much dark inside my head...and having a good book to bury myself in. Feeling rather low and lonesome after all the sociability of the last couple of weeks, I give thanks for finally making myself get up and go out to post those finally filled in forms. For my flat looking good in the estate agents' window, the deli being open to collect handmade cake to share with Mima and for tea in her suntrap garden. I give thanks for a catch up nap on the way now I'm home...can hardly keep my eyes open!

Saturday 13 May 2017

Work, rest and play

Gosh my bed felt comfortable last night! I give thanks for being very tired but, remarkably, not in very much pain considering all I've done with my body the last few days. I give thanks for not having to get up and out for anything today, resting my body but giving my brain a good workout working out some new crossword puzzle clues. This was always on the agenda but even more appealing after being asked if I'd like to post them on the main local library Facebook page and thus unleash them on a wider audience.

I give thanks for unfocussed ambling between various low impact, low key tasks and pastimes, including knitting a few rows of Bob's 'Christmas' jumper which is not even going to make his birthday now...but will be most welcome when the autumn winds begin to blow again, I'm sure. Not long after the spring ones have stopped at this rate. I give thanks for some semi horizontal window shopping for a lightweight jumper on ebay...and not finding one to buy!

Also long overdue on the agenda was 'mending' a guitar string by putting a Spanish twist on the end where the ball had come off. This was more to do with the bad Feng Shui of a dangling wire above my head then any aspirations to play again. I mean we know I can't really play any more don't we (not that I could ever really play, of course) but because it was on the bent machine head and my weak left hand had to have help from the right to turn it to tighten it it seemed the effort would be otherwise wasted if I didn't carry on and tune it up...and as you kind of play to tune it, well there had to be a bit of a twiddle as well... and fumbly and stumbly as this was it always makes me laugh out loud with joy as well as chagrin, so much thanks for that. And the guitar has yet to go back on its hanger so, who knows, maybe I'll twiddle a bit more tomorrow if my fingers and the neighourbours can stand it. I never was much of a strummer, always a twiddler, so take from that what you may...but from the way my hands feel now I'd best go and chop the veg for tea while I can. I give thanks there's one of my favourite quick fix dishes on the menu tonight...

Friday 12 May 2017

Just walking the dog

I give thanks for my third lunch out in a row, my third afternoon's gentle exercise and convivial conversation with a friend. For having three available friends to achieve this with!

I give thanks to Jared for coming to take me out in his rather sumptuous Jag, and bringing his lovely young dog for me to meet. For one of our umplanned adventures, including a few wrong turnings after plans had been made and thus taking in some glorious late spring hedgerows, a sloping meadow thick with bluebells and a ferry neither of us had been on before...plus a loo just where we were paused in the queue to get on!

For seeing some good in some choices we probably wouldn't make again...like the clouds of wild garlic clustering around the base of the trees when we went for a bit of a walk. For the rain not raining on us too much. For having a phone to take a snap - soft focus wasn't deliberate but probably best all things considered...


I give thanks for getting my weekend shopping done so I don't have to be energetic or sociable for a couple of days but can have some rest instead (if I feel the need and don't get any better offers!) For a cab on the rank just when I needed to come home. For leftovers in the fridge and catch up on TV...I am a tad tired this evening!

Thursday 11 May 2017

Warm, wet and flat

Warm and humid the weather sites said but it seemed pretty cold and wet to Mima and I...until we got into the heated indoor swimming pool! I give thanks for surviving the first couple of lengths when I hardly seemed to be moving forwards through the water at all. Rather scary to be so weak...not even amusing, as when I first tried to swim after my stroke and went round in circles. But I got the hang of it in the end...well as far as I ever can since my left hand became more of a sieve than a paddle. It takes a tremendous effort of will to keep my fingers closed... and, of course, a certain amount of social bravery with my er...accoutrements.

I keep meaning to give thanks for not having a massive parastomal hernia any more - what with everything else that went on the reason for last year's op kind of got overshadowed...but I really do prefer not to have it overshadowing my toes, and it made me more self conscious than the bit you might think would. Oh the vagaries of human vanity, eh?

I give thanks there's a cafe by the pool where we could have mushroom soup for lunch, as I've been flat out for most of the time since I've been back in it! Trying to regain one's strength can be pretty tiring...

I give thanks for fnding a seies of programmes called Abandoned Engineering on catch up, featuring a variety of derelict structures (each to their own I know!), and for making a good start on changing the bed linen and filling in the first set of conyeyancing forms before abandoning them for bubble and squeak and fried eggs with a bad TV movie. All this energy expenditure can make one pretty hungry too!

Wednesday 10 May 2017

One stop pop

One pill makes the pain smaller...but makes a large zombi take over my body and brain so I can't take it all the time, only when I can't take the pain... I give thanks it's there when I need it, as I've felt the need to start a short course again to move more freely some more.

I give thanks for thus sleeping later than usual these bright start mornings...and then going back to sleep again...and then again...and then reaching an ostensibly conscious state, staring at my phone purposelessly...until a message popped up from an enviably energetic friend which drew me back into the world of places to be and people to see...gradually...

I give thanks I can now make it to the bus stop sometimes. If you have a car and/or good health that might be hard to understand. I give thanks for your blissful incomprehension...long may it continue!

I give thanks who take me out in their cars, in this case Gary who met me for a most enjoyable afternoon pottering about going not many miles, but with lots of smiles. For clouds clearing, the sun coming out and warming up that chill in the breeze. For finding elderflower presse when I wanted a cold drink and feared there would just be Coke and Sprite...

I give thanks giving my shrunken boundaries a good old stretch including breaking the recent walking record again...taking in one of my favourite little strolls, that is quite short, and mostly flat but feels like a 'proper' walk nonetheless for the delightful scenery it manages to pack in  - even a waterfall, though my snap of that was quite boring so here's one of a burst balloon between the rocks instead! I do like a bit of random and we've had plenty of that today including the gate and the ramp going nowhere, two separate curiously appealing anomalies...


Tuesday 9 May 2017

Softwear

I give thanks for watching the moon grow brighter as the light faded from the sky yesterday evening. For the post acupuncture glow making me appreciate it all the more...

For getting plumper (me, not the moon!) so that I could try on my cozzies and ascertain I stretch the fabric enough to get out of the water wearing them as well as getting in. It was funny looking at my legs... I mean they're perfectly nice legs but two distinct sizes now, the difference caused by stroke damage exacerbated by only standing with my weight on one for the months when the sciatica was at its worst.


I give thanks for trying on some 'one size' dresses I'd seen in town the last week and finding the one in the print I thought suited me best also seemed the slightly smaller of the three, as 'plumper' is a relative term. I give thanks for 'treating myself' as people say, that there's room for more cake (and/or a layer underneath)...and for happy imagining of warmer climes or times...

I give thanks for getting the outdoor chores done quicker than I might have done as meanwhile the main part of the day was very nippy, and I'd left my scarf behind. For hearing other people remark on the chill so I knew it wasn't just me being a softy... For the sun coming out later, even if too late for me. For warming dhal for an early tea...

For getting my indoor tasks done more slowly than I might have done as I'm having a bad time with joint and muscle pain...but getting them done nonetheless, with lots of recuperative breaks in between. And for getting my blog written as typing has been particularly uncomfortable and inaccurate today. I give thanks for the folk who still read it!

Monday 8 May 2017

Not going to pot

Phew! I give thanks for dipping my brain into discussions about pension options...and surviving with a few cells intact! I give thanks my pot is not brimming over...there's enough complications in stirring up what I've got!

I give thanks for a delivery of delayed surgical supplies and the courier arriving on the communal doorstep at the same time as a neighbour, as I was on the phone and he couldn't call to be let in. For a flurry of fairly productive form filling, letter writing, emails and phone calls...

For the gorgeous sunshine, cabin fever and a pile of unwieldy recycling overriding all the aches and pains so I went down the hill a bit and back up it. And for there still being a nip in the air so I didn't feel irrestistibly drawn further down than I could have easily returned from. For leaving my camera behind and thus seeing all sorts of things to snap like this lone drop on the creeper leaves.


I give thanks to Colin for travel pics to remind me how I lust for wandering further afield (abroad?)...and to Gary, Mima and Jared for offering some local distractions later this week to cheer me up in the meantime.

For reading about this depression treatment that sounds a bit like an Actipatch for the brain and which meant 'prefrontal cortex' was one of the last phrases I read on the internet last night and one of the first today...

http://home.bt.com/lifestyle/health/health-concerns/transcranial-magnetic-stimulation-what-is-it-who-can-have-it-and-is-it-effective-11364177543790

For remembering to turn the spaceship on (my first fan oven - I am a simple soul) and to wrap up a small something to send to Bob tomorrow for his myseriously imminent birthday (a simple soul who seems to have mislaid several months of her life)


Sunday 7 May 2017

Not far to go

Um...I give thanks for giving in to my doziness as far as possible. Well, it is supposed to be a day of rest in some circles, isn't it...so I made sure I got some practice in yesterday pm as well! And I've been so busy the last few weeks I couldn't be bothered to beat myself up with the guilt stick when all my joints were so painful anyway and the right angle for me was definitely horizontal.

I give thanks for the hazy sunshine for those more energetic than I. For getting some laundry done to dry by the open windows, some paperwork to take to the postbox. For getting to the postbox eventually, the rubbish and recycling bins...and, as it was so pleasant to be outside, for walking around the terrace block. I give thanks for trying to take an interesting photo but the lens blurs are getting a bit frustrating now...and for some reason I found it impossible to focus on the busy burrowing bumble bee in among the woodchips. Nice to see him tho! I give thanks for all the full fresh foliage this time of year and for the beautiful juxtaposition of these ivy leaves...


I give thanks for a bit of online chit-chat, for Mima inviting me to pop down and see her new wallpaper but wisely saying no. For a lot of nice things to eat requiring little prep or washing up. For washing up anyway, and tidying here and there as far as achiness allowed. For the new Fargo adverts starting...

Saturday 6 May 2017

Not bad at all

I give thanks I'm tired and sore today...it makes me less envious of all those folks I know off on their travels...to be truly wafted to paradise would suit me just fine, but it's the getting to Luton airport, you know? I give thanks I can go there via Flightradar24 however and virtually wave people off...

I give thanks while I was taking it easy after a cup of tea was brought to me in bed this morning a good fairy did the all the washing up!

I give thanks the train she was planning to catch coincided with catching the post office before it shut so we could share a cab down the hill. For a commiserate with a neighbour about another neighbour's dog, and realising another neighbour's dog that had been barking it's head off was in distress as his master was unwell. For the wonderful folk who man and woman the ambulances... For a sensible taxi driver coming to find us when he could see the ambulance blocking his way and our view

I give thanks I don't have a car - the parking/searching for parking chaos at Waitrose was seriously scary, though it did mean there were less people inside the store than there might have been and I could get Higgedy pies on spesh and cut price quorn sausages without too much waiting in rows.

I give thanks for getting home for some lounging before a shower of rain began - next best thing to lounging in the sun I'm sure...well, the next best available thing I can think of anyhow! I give thanks for snacking and watching other people cook on TV instead of making tea for one...

Friday 5 May 2017

Buy and buy

I give thanks for underestimating myself last night.  I sent Jan off for a bath and made a perfectly acceptable meal of rice and veg and smoked tofu - even managing to toast pine nuts without burning them which is not easy even without mind altering sounds! I give thanks she seemed to enjoy the vegan trifle more than I did, but that was the point of making it after all...

I give thanks we've been enjoying the Christmas Sherlock which I saved in December to watch with Bob when we had our belated one in March (only we didn't!) so there were three evenings' entertainment waiting as Jan hadn't seen it either, with Bombay mix, and Bouja Bouja truffles for the munchies.

I give thanks for another outing today, a round trip taking in the 'old harbour' requested on the holiday itinerary, a vegan friendly cafe nearby, a couple of shops where I correctly surmised she would find some more things to buy and even a place where I could, with this week's limited budget and firm resolve, spend a few pounds on things I'd been keeping an eye out for for a while (a new purse as gloriously impractical turquoise leather which I might just start using before my nearly falling apart one does, a couple of cheap but pretty second hand brooches for brightening up secondhand collars of jackets and coats, and some utterly unecessary but irresistible butterfly buttons) Seeing as I have limited enthusiasm for shopping per se (but like new things as much as the next person) I give great thanks I have a curious ability to know precisely where to go for whatever it is one has convinced oneself one requires...and in this case especially as it was a small indoor market hall.

I give thanks for randomly catching a frequent but desperately held up bus that randomly connected with the very infrequent bus home. For it being just the right time to see the secret bluebell banks from the top deck. For fish and chips for tea and Jan making me a cuppa in the morning and as I sit typing this.  Oh and the pair of dancing blue butterflies I forgot from yesterday that the buttons reminded us of - so maybe they weren't unnecessary after all.


I give thanks it seems that Bob has found somewhere to move to...and that though there's no news in that area for me yet someone saw this place on the website and thought it might be mine from the particular decorative style though she'd never been inside...and said nice things about it ...

Thursday 4 May 2017

Dinner gong

I give thanks for a long lie in this morning... Heavens I was tired last night and kept waking up with various body parts complaining. I give thanks for trying out the easiest vegan cake recipe ever which, as it was to make Jan a vegan trifle, I figured would be fine soaked in sherry however it turned out. Will tell you later...only got as far as cooking it so far...

I give thanks for finally shoehorning myself out of bed and the flat and directing our travels towards another day of sampling local delights (and shopping opportunities for Jan!), this time a short bus ride away. For finding a nice place for a nice lunch, a look round an interesting local museum...and the main event of the day...a gong bath! I give thanks this has made writing my blog very challenging but that's kind of why I wanted to go, you know. I give thanks for the colours in the breaking wave tops waiting for the bus... La, la, la...

Right, my work here is done... Off to try making dinner. This could be interesting...

Wednesday 3 May 2017

Owl ways something there

I'd been worrying Jan might not sleep through the deep rhythmic rumbles I could hear despite my earplugs last night, so I was grateful when I realised she was making them...in her sleep of course! I'd been worrying too I might be doing her an injustice, so I was even more grateful when I unplugged my ears to check (I wasn't)..and heard the calling owls I'd have missed otherwise.

I give thanks for having a friend to stay anyway...I don't have many but the ones I do have I do like a lot! And though it took me a while to get to sleep, I give thanks when I did the next thing I heard was a tap on my door with a cup of tea in the morning...And when I took my earplugs out, the one after that was the drummer! Heard him a few times lately and it always makes me smile...and the refuse lorry because it reminds me we are cared for, and the garden birds trilling to one another because they remind me there's other worlds going on beside us.


Last night I'd also worried about the distance we'd probably be walking today and not sure how I was going to do it... I'm still not sure, to be honest, and it was a battle at the end but I give thanks I did, and for all the well placed seats that helped me!  For visiting our lost gardens at last (quick aside to the Universe - I still long to visit the 'real' ones you know!), and managing to zoom past most of the blurry scratches on my camera lens for one shot at least. They are multiplying thick and fast which mystifies me as I am fairly careful with it, and I wondered today if they are actually caused by the way the lens cover opens and closes so I was kind of grateful to read on line they probably are but as mine is not new that's just tough. Oh well, it's been loads of fun while it lasted...

I give thanks for a vegan friendly local cafe providing ice cream for Jan in the sun yesterday, cake in cloud today...and pies on ice to bring home to cook for our tea. For leftovers of my broccoli and fake blue cheese soup to nourish and nurture us in the meantime...

For a trip there and back on the ferry, seeing the big dredger at work close up and the anglers doggedly trying to fish with it just a few feet away. For all the random chitchat and banter between strangers that makes the world go round round here... For losing an hour or two to snoozing when we got back. This holiday lark is quite tiring you know...to say nothing of thinking up bad puns day after day!

Tuesday 2 May 2017

Wonder full to night

Mmm I give thanks for the thunder last night. I could see those grey glowering anvils, but we didn't get the rain... Which is fine by me until the roof is fixed but I do love a good storm! Instead there was sun slanting through the trees before it dipped below the horizon, and flame tipped clouds when it did...

I give thanks for a scaffolding truck arriving this morning 'onwards and upwards' it said on the side. Great idea I thought, onwards and upwards indeed...and then they erected a small tower two houses up the road! I give thanks I would actually laugh if this were a mistake to do with house and flat numbers...

I give thanks for getting almost everything done I had hoped to do this morning...including philosophically accepting that a few more phone calls may be required in some departments. For being informed that my flat will be going up in the estate agents' window very shortly...and dropping off some keys for prospective buyers.

I give thanks for seeing something on Facebook earlier that reminded me of this golden oldie. Not a lot of people know this but I am such a romantic at heart...don't tell them will you? Made me think of a good post title anyway...and a motto. Try to be wonder full to night OK?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxAiUq8yn34

I give thanks that Jan is here and my little holiday in this pleasant seaside resort has begun...for all the friendliness, including free halva from the deli...and the warm spring sunshine on that big old blue sea...


Monday 1 May 2017

Green eyes blue

The last few weeks has tested my sciatic nerve and found it still wanting care and attention (along with various other body parts fallen into disuse while it was getting ALL the care and attention). It's a first world wish I know but last night I was feeling sore and sorry for myself that the pain wasn't caused by more pleasurable activities than seemingly endless chores (and envious of seemingly endlessly hearing of other people's holiday plans at the mo!)... so I give thanks to Colin for at least making the ironing virtually entertaining, and to Mima and Jan for being up for a bit of on line up ahead escape planning too.

I give thanks for sleeping long and mostly soundly, and for a bit of a late lazy start before tackling the indoor waterfall, which would of course be less of one if I'd got up in the night or earlier in the day to see to it...but I have to leave the flat for that, and I prefer to be dressed in more than a dressing gown first. For a nice lunch which I had the good sense to mostly prepare yesterday... as today I've been making soup for tomorrow instead.

I give thanks for Julie happily relieving me of my surplus to requirements tools and materials...and bringing me a gift of Booja Booja truffles and Basilico tofu too. Nice to have a catch up and even be able to offer her vegan milk and cookies for with her tea. For solving the mystery of the missing keys. Seriously you don't want to know...perhaps I should be looking at care homes not flats! That after a long list of stuff to be done tonight/in the morning, my staycation with Jan starts tomorrow afternoon!

For the dazzling greens of the topmost boughs now that May is here...



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