Beaten

I give thanks though Friday night I wasn't right, Saturday has been batter! For refusing to be beaten when my stick mixer broke while attaching the whisk to make pancakes for my breakfast...for my hands being less crampy and more or less managing the job...and my new frying pan being the biz! For the seahorse hiding in the last drips from the jug...

For the delicious feeling of not having to be anywhere at any particular time and, due to aforementioned co-operative digits, spending a goodly bit of the day mosaic making with music and artsy chat from Loose Ends in the background. I don't recall much sense of comfort and safety as a child, but sometimes in Miss Baker's infant class she read us a story while we played with Plasticine and it sure does do me good to recreate that now and then. 

I give thanks for cathartic tears when Rachel sent me a link to a blessing song she thought I might like to hear/learn/sing/record for a virtual choir. For acknowledging and honouring the emotions (like many other folk) I keep inside as there's no one to express them to...for the late afternoon sun lighting on my Buddha and reminding me nothing really matters anyway.

I give thanks for wearing a favourite dress even though only I got to see it. For thinking my cheeks are slightly less chubby. I may be kidding myself but even if it's a delusion it improves my mood so I'm grateful anyway. I'm no oil painting, but if I were I'd prefer it to be in portrait rather than landscape format! 

Defrosted

I give thanks I had a good dream in a part of the night I slept. Can't remember what it was about but I remember waking up and appreciating it before I dropped off again. Don't remember playing rugby or rock climbing during the hours of darkness either but the pain levels this morning suggested maybe I did...so I guess I should be grateful for... um... how my general feebleness over the last few months has tended to limit this kind of thing!

I give thanks I had no idea what a trying day of delays and difficulties it would turn out to be, with long traffic queues, short staff levels and industrial fans blowing air already 10 degrees cooler than I prefer it into a side room where no one had time to shut the door! Feeling generally in a better physical and mental state than yesterday, I was already glum at the prospect of just an average dialysis day instead of one at home with my books and toys...so I give thanks for occupying myself with them a little before I left the building. This meant I didn't make my supper...which was a shame as I got back more that ready to eat it...so I'm very grateful I had made a plans and preparation for an easy meal which won't be long at all. For a hot water bottle to thaw myself out, and a Beck for entertainment. 

Reduced

I give thanks for making it through a difficult night. There are things in my body that are definitely not as they should be, which isn't news of course but I prefer it when they are down in the small print somewhere not making the headlines! For it being a non hospital day today, and already scheduled to be spent quietly at home, so I could give myself the gentlest sort of treatment... 

I give thanks for lots of rest and reading, snoozing, snacking... and, as some thoughtful soul has uploaded it to YouTube again, watching a couple more episodes of old favourite Crocodile Shoes. When it first aired I was living in a hovel in the mid Wales hills and, despite the fuzzy picture on the TV, early 90s London came across as quite sophisticated whereas now it seems so quaint...like when a character had to find out about someone and said 'Give us a couple of hours'!

I give thank for making a start at sewing some new face masks so I could enjoy the feeling of being useful and productive, before stopping as not enjoying the pain. I give thanks they are still  much in evidence around here as I hear it's not the case in other areas and, over and above any virus transmission reduction, they reduce the time my steroid face is on display.. 

Uphill

Gosh...are we nearly there yet? I give thanks for all I've done since posting last but it sure has worn me out. For an uphill chip shop and an uphill bench to enjoy out supper with a view of the bay.

For making it up the stairs of a double decker bus to admire the view of gardens and fields on my way into the city, and the liminal spaces in between with their own intrinsic charm...then up from the road to Waitrose where I found exactly what I went for, and then further up to the unit. These would be just very short and gradual gradients if I were feeling stronger and fitter... and I suppose they still are it's just that I don't just yet!

For a delicious iced cinnamon bun to restore me, and one to save for tomorrow. Plus tinned cherries...and mushroom pate. Hurrah! For not quite freezing my whatsits off having the side room window wide open on a brisk breezy day to keep it cool when I realised going to the supermarket twice in one day would be beyond me, but couldn't bear to leave it behind...

I give thanks for getting up at 5 am and cooking tea when I couldn't get back to sleep. Good plan but I may be too sleepy to eat it now. For thawing out and getting to the end of the first series of Killing Eve on returning home instead, as there were more interruptions than I would thought possible this afternoon or I wouldn't have tried! For the chap from The Killing in it - great actor even if half the time I can't understand a word he's saying...so that's really saying something. 

Substitute

I give thanks it was the magician's assistant who did my phone triage today. Unlike her superior she seems to grasp that though these calls are for the good of my health and fine tune my ongoing care, waiting for (to say nothing of receiving!) test results every week can be invasive and anxiety making so keeps things brief, while still finding time for a few welcome words of encouragement. I guess most of the time it goes without saying...or there's no one to say it...but I really appreciate being told things like 'You're doing really well, you know' 'So glad to hear you sounding so cheerful' or 'Great that you're doing something nice later, you deserve it'! I give thanks that the pills are continuing to work, albeit slowly, so slowly the dosage is dropping down...and eventually this too will pass.

I give thanks most of the items I ordered from Sainsbury's were on the non empty shelves, and nothing 'essential' missing... For being well aware we are mostly spoilt and spoilt for choice and little we buy is essential. Both of Mima's healthy choices were out of stock so I give thanks for suggesting she came over and shared some fish and chips with me instead. For it being a good evening for it with the unsettled weather helping keep the pesky visitor revelry down, and those pesky steroids keeping my potassium levels low as well. I know - mega bonus eh? But no, for all the joys of a freedom from renal dietary restriction I'll be sincerely grateful when this course of treatment ends and (I sincerely hope!) I start to feel like my normal self again instead of this strange imposter!

Rosy

I give thanks for feeling brighter physically and mentally this morning. Probably one of my occasionally used pain pills that double as a mood enhancer helped to create a rosy glow. For the sun being out as I had to be out as well. 

For a plan to meet the taxi at the supermarket a little way outside town as I'd seen an item from their clothing range on line that seemed good value...but not so much with the postage on top, especially if it didn't fit or look so appealing in reality. For cheering a group of disgruntled would-be passengers at the stop who had waited in vain for a bus that hadn't turned up, and for any relevant information on the shelter screen. I told them according to the smart new tracker I discovered the other day the next one was ten minutes away...and we were all very grateful when this turned out to be true!

For what I went to the shop for being perfect, and having time to just have a quick look for (and find) a good quality small frying pan as I recently bought a new big one and it's fab, but too big for the odd egg or Cauldron sausage. a storage jar to decant coconut oil into from one with a dodgy lid (very messy this time of year!) and a box of mini plain donuts which make a welcome addition to a lunch box - especially as I store them in the freezer so the keep the other food fresh. For my driver looking after my bag of swag (except the donuts!) until home time so I didn't have to cart them around.

I've been losing the will to dye lately, so I give thanks for finally getting round to using a pack of peony pink on some white pillowcases and a beige top...and being very pleased with the results.

For a visit from the renal dietitian which interrupted my nap but confirmed I'm still OK to not to be too strict with my dietary restrictions. Oh joy! There's some wet and windy weather forecast over the next few days. I feel a jacket potato coming on :-)

Reflective

I give thanks for the big yellow moon reflecting gold on the surface of the sea last night. For the all's-right-with-the-world sound of the street cleaning machine doing its rounds early in the morning. For earplugs back in to block the exceptionally loud and raucous seagull (and that's saying a lot!) that started up soon after.

In a rather glum and gloomy mood this last twenty four hours I give thanks for not brooding on probable 'causes' or potential but unobtainable 'cures' neither of which processes I find in the least helpful. It is what it is, just have to get through it...all things must pass and all that...

For tackling domestic tasks I'd feel no better for having left undone despite little enthusiasm but plenty of fatigue and cramp in the hands. Ditto some mosaic and reading an enjoyable but cumbersome book. 

For managing to get outside for a brief breath of fresh(ish) air on an overcast day, weaving between the knots of oblivious tourists blocking pavements and pathways to the veg shop. For a slight detour to see ducks and ducklings actually raising a smile! For a nap. For leftovers so I didn't have to cook...but cooking a pineapple and ginger pudding anyway to create a sense of being comforted and looked after...and washing up afterwards too.

Limp

I give thanks they didn't lie about the lightning! So often weather 'warnings' seem to be exaggerated or just plain wrong, but I'd so been looking forward to a storm and though I spent a lot of the evening and night asleep, and was grateful for the rest, waking up at intervals and watching the flashes over the sea while the wild wind raged was a most enjoyable end to yesterday. 

I give thanks for feeling considerably better this morning, though in no way moved to move around a great deal and feeble enough to be content to stick to my original plan of a couple of days relaxing and recharging after a busy week or two. Solitude was part of this scheme but I was willing to forgo a couple of hours of that for Clive coming round to do a planning and prep work session for the kitchen of course! For shifting some part made mosaic projects from the spare room to the dining table out of his way leading to a little bit of progress with those this afternoon in between various forms of idleness and inactivity. For another successful non-standard use of the Quorn bacon rejected by Jo and Keith. Apparently if you grill or fry it according to the instructions on the packet it turns out like cardboard...but in a sauce or scrambled eggs it stays flavoursome but edibly limp. I give thanks sometimes limp is good!

Keen

I've been ready for the weekend since I woke up today  (as in keen to stay still and horizontal) so I'm grateful for getting back to that part at least. For mostly made stew to finish off cooking, paracetamol to take a slight edge of the pain...and a cooler cloudy evening so I can shut the living room windows and hear the TV while I wait for whichever comfort comes for me next - sleep or hot water to soak in.

I give thanks for remembering if I stay awake and don't get wet, there's also some doggy bag (well, takeaway box which is even better!) carrot cake I brought home yesterday as Jo put some on the table but isn't actually a fan. 

Investigative

There are ladies who lunch, or so I have heard, but this week I've been grateful to be a lady who afternoon teas! I give thanks for having the physical and mental energy to visit folk...and for folk putting up with me! For sweet treats and sunny gardens, and today for the bus I caught home stopping literally outside my door... For Jo's kind and thoughtful offer to use their garden while they are out, and a plan to try getting the bus that stops outside their door to do so. It's one of those that goes to the same places by two different routes at different times and, despite all my years of public transport use, they always confuse me. 

I give thanks for a bit more sorting out about the place. No nook shall escape investigation and organisation...eventually! For some pleasant and necessary lounging about in between times. For watching and wondering why the coastguard and police had the beach entrance taped off for so long, before figuring sadly they were waiting for an ambulance to take someone away who didn't need to leave hurry. For then getting quite excited when an army bomb disposal van turned up...and being rather disappointed when whatever they came to check out clearly wasn't ordnance as soon after everyone went home. For cheerfully accepting I've become an avid spectator since moving here. 

Typical

I give thanks for attempting to create another atypical dialysis day. For imagining a scenic train ride into the city would be a good place to start and, when a points failure further down the line meant cancelled and truncated services, for not thinking 'typical! but just  being grateful there were some empty seats and open windows, with most folk wearing masks and being careful. 

For everywhere I wanted to be when I arrived being practically deserted. For Superdrug not only collecting empty tablet blister packs for specialist recycling, but having a kind of post box so you can pop yours in instead of waiting to be served. 

For braving a well known high street store popular with my more typical peers but so rarely on my agenda it's an alien environment to me. I was on a quest for underwear Bridget Jones enough for my urological requirements but diminutive enough not to be baggy on my slender form. It's a tall/small order I can tell you and amid the vast array of styles, sizes and colours there were only really one or two packs that looked as if they might do (and sadly none in the sale!) so I give thanks for grabbing one and heading for the queue free till...where I discovered they *were* in the sale after all, just clearly on a need to know basis! I give thanks for change for a rather nice sandwich and a curved shady seat to eat it on with admirable unenforced social distancing in place.  

I give thanks for the fondness I still have for the place I chose to move to twenty two years ago, despite many changes we've both been through since then. For the tracking on a delivery unexpectedly arriving a day sooner than expected including the driver's number so we could communicate. That definitely isn't typical! For my knickers fitting...and for sorting out this evening's supper yesterday as it seems to have been a rather long day. 

Descending

I give thanks for the holiday feeling this kind of weather brings...and if you live in a holiday kind of place, well even more so! For a view of the sea without going out, and always appreciating all its moods and textures and colours.

For a stop start morning and enjoying both the intrinsic pleasures of non-productivity and the extrinsic rewards of achieving some small goals. For phone triage confirming raised liver enzymes continue to fall, and that treatment can continue to be reduced, which is great news not least as the side effects of the meds to treat the side effects of meds are rather getting me down. For getting me down on the floor and installing a sticky gripper between a silky slidey rug and the carpet - took more time and effort than I imagined but will, I hope, save a great deal of both in future. 

For four minutes of exquisitely beautiful coastal train journey to visit Julie in her garden for a while before taking advantage of some retail variety and a far more spacious Post Office than we have here.  For sticking to the programme for the day and going for a quick early evening paddle despite the busyness and barbecues on the scrappy strip of available beach...and a very achy back! For savasana on aforementioned unwrinkled rug... 

Motoring

I give thanks for being late home for some pleasing reasons. First of all there was a pre-arranged change of route through the city so I could pop to a couple of shops in a retail park on the way - paying the excess fare myself of course as the council doesn't subsidise this kind of therapy! I figured they'd be unusually quiet given the weather and relaxation of restrictions - and I'm very grateful I was right - while having the meter running cut out any inclination to aimlessly wander the aisles. For Goldilocks syndrome in the clothing store so, though I came out empty handed, I was still grateful I'd not ordered one (or both) of the wrong sizes on line and had to negotiate returns. For getting just what I went for in the other....

I give thanks earlier in the day my taxi driver had taken a fare to a nearby large hotel with gardens and grounds, and had seen rows of every incarnation of Austin-Healey in the car park there while the owners attended a convention...and for him taking me on extra (free) detour to see!

I give thanks for another glorious day weatherwise, and for managing to fit in a little sit in the sun before setting off for hospital today. For it being several days since my monthly renal blood tests and no one saying I should be tightening up adherence to dietary rules so I could enjoy some crackers with a smidge of cheese as I sat gazing out at the beautiful early evening. For the half moon hanging in the sky looking like it's made of lace...

Tranquil

For watching this beautiful ship sailing past on the pearly evening sea last night - some treasured tranquillity amid the sun and alcohol soaked rowdiness outside 

https://www.tradewindvoyages.com/our-ship/?fbclid=IwAR1zTcCOGox2jRwltP1ohZgG85Y3qUGjnzeQlkxP-ruK4YoPx-So4zGo5Is

For wishing I had a tranquil garden today...and then figuring if I did someone would most likely be having a smelly noisy barbecue nearby!

For dealing with a very achy start to the day as best as I could - do a bit, groan, lie down and read a book being the main tactic, but also reminding myself the main reason so many body parts are sore is that I'm no longer lying down doing nothing most of the time, so it's something to be grateful for really... 

For recovering enough early afternoon to hobble slowly up to the top park with a book and a spot of late lunch. I was a bit worried it would be too busy to enjoy but I've not been there for ages and it turns out there's a lot of waterworks excavations going on and a lot of ground fenced off so what's left was mostly empty! In fact it was so empty I felt psychologically comfortable enough to lie on the grass unselfconsciously despite ravages of illness and treatment being on display, and could hear very little apart from the babbling brook - what a treat! As you might imagine there was some physiological discomfort, especially after clambering upright again but hey ho I just walked home with even more wobbles and less speed feeling very grateful indeed.

Flying

Have I mentioned how much I appreciate this weather? Well I'm grateful for it several times a day, so sorry but I'm mentioning it again! Despite my love of heat and sunshine and sunshine, I was tired and in need for some chilling today however so I give thanks for a pre- arranged flying visit with Mima to collect a clicked parcel from down the road a little way, have a picnic snack and come home. I give thanks we thought we'd be early and beat at least some of the crowds at this popular coastal spot...and for a hasty plan B when we were proved wrong. For a very pretty round trip drive instead taking in a selection of south west scenery, and for drama but no crisis when we met wide load hay wagons on a rather narrow lane!

There should have been three packages to pick up but two ended up declined by the store as they didn't have room, so I'm also grateful for being back on the premises in time for a sometimes less than helpful courier company to deliver one of the others, plus Tesco bringing groceries and some of their fine selection of homewares to my door. For some progress on altering a bigger girl's blouse and the creation of a brand new skirt while waiting for those and getting stuck into that all important resting (and digesting!) now they have been.

I give thanks someone's decorated this letter box to say thank you to Royal Mail

Eventual

I give thanks for, eventually, giving Killing Eve a try and enjoying it immensely. If a programme is popular I tend to wonder if I'm the intended demographic, and indeed it's often true I'm not..but I'm grateful I don't mind at all being proved to be wrong especially as there's plenty of episodes to fill in my dialysis day afternoons. For a damn fine nap during today's as well. 

I give thanks for a good dialysis day morning too, managing not only a useful potter round the local shops for fresh bits and bargains before the streets and pavements filled but prior to that nabbing a prime spot on the strip of tide narrowed sand to read my book for a while.

I give thanks for an usually swift journey home. Maybe everyone who could leave work early did! For the unusually smooth flowing traffic at the big junction too - maybe because the traffic lights weren't working!

I give thanks it's the weekend and my tea's half made!

Floral

Days like these folk sometimes ask each other if it's 'hot enough for you?' and I give thanks, at last, it is for me! For it being hot enough to take the local open top bus which is always pleasant if the weather is good but also psychologically more comfortable at the moment with Covid cases on the rise again. 

I give thanks for making the effort to go out at all as I've been feeling very tired and feeble today and an effort it certainly was! 

I give thanks for meeting Mima to visit the return of the flower festival at a nearby church where this year's theme was Dance for Joy and I was rather taken by the cake case arrangements in the Tea Dance display. For lots of other delightful sights and smells in the including the pretty white painted side chapel brimming with the delicious scent of pinks. For light, and very lightly priced refreshments partaken at a table all by ourselves in the sunshine outside there which on a summer's day in a seaside town is a privilege indeed. For the privilege of being able to do very little else since I got home. 

Insightful

I give thanks for more lovely summery weather. For bussing into the city to visit a shop while masks are still being worn, and for the bus and the shop both being delightfully empty. Wondered if maybe folk were at the beach instead...as they were also delightfully not clogging up the roads at home from work time either. 

For listening to Imee Ooi as I travelled...and for writing that, remembering my mp3 player needs charging up and getting up and doing it. 

For discovering although lunch can be bought from a certain chain baker nearby 'treating yourself' it is not! 

For the Insight Timer app working much better on my newer tablet than it did on the old one, so that I can listen to soothing downloads when the hospital WiFi is off and I'd like to lie back and rest my eyes. For a bit of a snooze - woohoo! 

For realising it was the remote in the side room next door that kept turning the TV on in mine. And for getting my TV unplugged as it must have been driving the poor man in there bonkers when I kept turning it on. 

For laughing my socks off over this collection of photos last night, and realising there's not been nearly enough of that lately. For making other people laugh today...

https://www.boredpanda.com/accidental-comedy-hilarious-photos/

Spheroid

I give thanks I've witnessed the effects of serious steroids on other folks' appearances and know eventually I'll be able to look in the mirror again and recognise who I am. Never considered it my finest feature but I'd grown accustomed to my face... 

I give thanks for 'passing' my liver function tests again with the elevated enzymes enough diminished for another reduction in dose. For more sleep last night, though it began on the sofa just after my tea so ended in bed in the unfortunately very small hours. For rest and meditation til it began to get light and for a encouragingly busy day since. This was partly through being wired and tired of course, and partly through fear relaxing might lead to an ill timed nap, but also due to generally genuinely feeling on the mend despite still some way to go...and I'm extremely grateful for that.  For hearing from my dear friend in the north who is also having problems with palliative care but is hanging in there with good humour.

I give thanks for reminding myself we're all just tiny scurrying things on an insignificant planet...and reminding myself to paddle... 

Anthropological

Not sure quite how it slipped my mind these last few weeks, but I give thanks for finally recalling Émile Durkheim's concept of collective effervescence in time to understand the ecstasy, and then the agony of the football followers last night. And, as I was writing the previous sentence, for realising the restrictions of the pandemic have meant opportunities to experience its effects have been in short supply for those who usually do...as well of those of us who usually don't any more. I give thanks for those who managed to remain philosophical despite their disappointment, and for those who weren't unkind.

I give thanks for an OK day at the office apart from someone waking me from a nap to check what time my treatment was due to end...and then when it ended for there being no one available to disconnect me from the machine...and then the machine breaking so I couldn't be disconnected for what seemed like an awfully long time. For the reminder of the futility of setting store by expectations and outcomes you have in mind...and, of course, for it being the technology malfunctioning not my body!

I give thanks for my taxi driver being patient and understanding, and for being home at last, with both dinner and dessert I prepared earlier awaiting my attention.

Double

I give thanks for a the return of some liveliness after being so dozy yesterday. Shame it kicked in at 2am but I had Rooibos and biscuits and read a book rather energetically, and after a bit more kip still had some gusto to get busy in the kitchen before sleepiness caught up with me again.  

I give thanks for managing to get properly dressed so I could not only take my rubbish out and parcels in but pop across the road to say hello to the sea. For the little involuntary sigh of unwinding I always give when I do...and for the rain just starting and pre football prep already in full swing so that there was hardly a soul on the sea wall or sand, enhancing my pleasure in fresh air and far reaching views. 

I give thanks for enjoying the first of the two finals that interest me (men's singles at Wimbledon in case you didn't know!) and mixed doubles (my second favourite) not long started. For the close packed tennis schedule these last few weeks coinciding with a time of low energy and much need to lie down...but also for looking forward to the TV having less allure and getting on with other things. 

Moody

Had a face like a wet weekend this morning - beaming from ear to ear to wake to the sound of the rain! For the peacefulness about the town while it was falling, the privilege of having a home to shelter in, and for a society that supports me though I'm no use to it at all. 

For trying to be of use to myself and not disappear down the rabbit hole of side effects of medications, that treat side effects of others to deal with side effects of more. For managing to find temporary homes for a few more bits from the kitchen and have short but satisfying sessions with both a mosaic order and something just for me. For catching up with a little missing sleep, and a lot of rest when that was elusive. 

I give thanks for the afternoon sun for those up to being out in the wonderland world...even the kids and dogs who invariably have tantrums outside my window when it's shining! For trying to have compassionate thoughts about the beery cheery adults too, and the argumentative local online forum participants... We all have our struggles and our ways of dealing with them. 

Staged

I give thanks for the weekend here at last. It's been an unusually busy few days in many ways and some peaceful downtime is required. For managing to co-ordinate the last of the deliveries earlier, including collecting medication from the hospital that could only be transported to a pharmacy a few miles away (but mercifully on the way to treatment!), and for the text advising another prescription from another chemist was ready arriving in time to ask Michelle to pick it up as part of her helpful homely work. This was for the nutritional supplements and I'd no idea they were providing me with quite such a copious supply until I came home to the sizeable boxes on the table. I'm extremely grateful I didn't have to work out how to get them indoors and upstairs myself! 

I give thanks for chores and organisation done. For uninspiring weather forecast... well stocked cupboards, freezer and fridge... The stage all set for curling up with books and TV, long baths, short naps, tasty snacks and pottering with my craft projects. 

Visiting

I give thanks for a deliciously dozy afternoon on the sofa. Not been feeling so bright eyed and bushy tailed today, so also grateful for grey damp weather making snuggling under a blanket ideal, and for the chores I caught up with when in livelier mode.

I give thanks for a visit from Rachel in the earlier part of the day. What with one thing and another it's been many months since we spent any time together and it was delightful to do so again, though I'm still finding interacting a tad exhausting no matter how cherished the company. For a long overdue acupuncture treatment to help restore my equilibrium...and masked but marvellous hugs! 

I give thanks another visit later, this time from Jo, to check the new keys she had cut worked, to see where things were if she needed to use them and to pick up Quorn bacon added to my last supermarket delivery. I'm so grateful I can get shopping for my car owning friends, illogical though that might seem...and very pleasing to see her looking pretty nimble on her mended leg as well. 

Youthful

I give thanks for newer faces winning matches on the tennis scene - some of them round about half the age of the stalwarts of the current era so, one hopes, with their own long careers ahead. Predictability dampens my passion for the game so much I pretty much gave up watching finals in the Sampras years, so having players I'm not as used to on court, especially playing each other, tends to make for more enjoyable viewing. For being able to to view some of the schedule on the unit again...and even listen when the chap with the loudest volume on his TV, plus the widest open side room door, was at last persuaded one or the other might be more acceptable to both fellow patients and staff.  For the thought of football fans with renal failure settling in to enjoy their sport and enhance their treatment experience in a similar way, though leaping up with their arms in the air if goals are scored could cause some serious problems! 

I give thanks for feeling considerably more youthful myself for part of this evening. If you're ill enough for long enough it's easy to completely forget what healthier was like. 

For even managing a quick raid on the Co op on my return, picking up odds and ends for a long time unseen visitor tomorrow. For leftover yummy homemade soup so no energy or tennis time was squandered making a new meal.

For a grandstand view of the vehicular chaos caused by a minor RTA on the one way street outside, just as the plant was arriving for an evening session of sea wall building. For this happening after the Wimbledon quarters were finished...and for the helpful folk who left the bar where the footy had started to try to sort things out. 

Symbolic

I give thanks for graphemes - the shapes we use to represent sounds that make up words and perform part of the mind blowing miracle of turning squiggles or pixels into ideas and images. For three enthralling compilations of them on the go - The Dutch House, a novel recommended by my cousin; Word Perfect, etymological entertainment by Susie Dent thoughtfully chosen by Bob last Christmas, my current 'dipping' book, and Viking Britain, a fascinating academic attempt to find the history behind centuries of caricature and hype. 

For my tiny 50p from a doorstep spider plant, bought just before first lockdown, now majestically grown and producing babies. I'm considering them grandchildren as the usual sort don't seem to be part of my life's pathway.

For the Lazarus effect of hearing my liver function is improving again after stalling last week, and knowing if things didn't turn around another hospital stay might be on the cards. I'd been lying on the sofa feeling feeble and sorry for myself but after the call was improved enough for a slow toddle up the street to support some local small businesses buying fresh stuff I'd not been sure I'd need before. For sitting in the sunshine for a few minutes between showers. For a nap between various deliveries and discussions including one with the charming Sainsbury's driver who thoughtfully brought up a parcel I'd not yet been downstairs to retrieve, and told me how much his life had improved since he had to change job due to Covid.

For getting the bloody washing done (that's descriptive not expletive!) and for making a pan of simple soup! Between a lot of necessary rest today there's been some semblance of normal life...and that's something I really appreciate. 

Dysfunctional

I give thanks, despite being cross eyed tired and certainly not functioning as well as I could be, the mishaps and difficulties that have littered the day have not been down to me. For trying to deal with the various situations as philosophically and practically  as possible...reminding myself a broken TV and a blood soaked t - shirt are not much to complain about in a hospital day, and that the despite the slowest moving traffic we still made it home in time for an urgent trip to the loo and my dose of those pesky wakefulness causing steroids.

I give thanks for taking some recycling down to the bins this morning so there was a carrier bag handy to wrap my manky sleeve in, and get my cardigan safely on top, as it seemed very chilly when the heavens opened... For abandoning my usual no caffeine after six rule and making a mug of tea to cheer and warm myself up... For cracking open a pack of yesterday's bargain biscuits (Hobnob creams - yum yum!) even though there were plenty already in the tin, and even putting a heater on for a bit. For rain in SW19 too so only two matches to keep an eye on while I quickly create something nourishing and nurturing for my supper. I give thanks for taking care of myself as well as I can even when not as well as I could be. 

Supplementary

I give thanks there are times when I completely forget I'm not yet well and suddenly realise with astonishment I'm bustling about as normal. I also give thanks this has so far only happened when I'm at home as what seems to swiftly follow is an urgent need to lie down! 

I give thanks this afternoon's pleasant, productive but tiring excursion took place just after a good horizontal session...and for the bustling earlier meaning an extended repeat is in progress now without much cause to stir - apart from one of my food supplement cup-a-soups! 

I give thanks for Mima chauffeuring me first to the recycling centre (along some roads less travelled, woohoo!) then a small trading estate where I returned some clothing bought on line that didn't fit and filled up with tea and cake while having a much needed sit down (the very average floorspace of the shops there seeming the area of an airfield to my weak and wobbly legs) before filling a carrier with 'bargains for the home' - mostly in snack and biscuit form it must be said! For coming across and including a pack of the elusive chocolate chop Hobnobs which I'd recommended to two vegan chums after reading they were suitable, but never got around to trying myself before they vanished into the post Brexit/pandemic ether. By both their accounts they're delicious, so I'm looking forward to supplementing my mostly saintly renal diet with this fairly modest sin. 

Pottery

I give thanks for the day of peaceful pottering my inner doctor ordered. For little sessions at lots of things and a lot more nothing at all, so that I've enjoyed both the physical benefit of rest and the psychological blessing of feeling I've moved towards some goals. For a good appetite and good things to eat including some yummy home made (some time ago) dal discovered in the freezer...and crumble topping (made this afternoon!) to make a comforting pudding from odds and ends of fruit. 

I give thanks for the peacefulness of a day without conversation, apart from the virtual kind...and talking to myself, the plants and occasionally tennis players on TV of course! For finally getting to see young Emma play - my goodness me she's a star! For catching Coco in some brilliant doubles too. Don't usually enjoy the women's draw as much as I have this year. I give thanks for all the streams on iplayer and for BT making my capped internet unlimited when a certain virus first swept the world. 

I give thanks for better weather than there might have been both for drying washing on a rack indoors and for the various sorts visitors... but also for the County Show maybe luring some of them away so I've not felt invaded just looking out of the window. Oh and for an afternoon nap - such a treat these days! 

Game

I give thanks for feeling better last night and this morning despite poor sleep in between. For taking it slowly physically, but vigorously using my brain to come up with a game plan for minimal activities outside the home today which should mean none at all tomorrow, when the combination of holiday makers and football fans would likely be most taxing to deal with whatever the state of my health. For these minor missions accomplished, plus major cleaning by Michelle so that everything is as relaxed and restorative as can be.

I give thanks for a quiet afternoon on the unit, with more good tennis to watch while munching an enormous egg mayo bap from the cafe when my packed lunch didn't appeal. For my packed lunch making a most acceptable tea with almost no washing up. For water heating for my bath...and clean sheets on the bed. For projects on the go if I feel up to being creative, for books and TV if not.

Far

I give thanks feeling feeble's so much easier in the summer time - you don't even need a dressing gown! For bed to sofa seeming quite far enough for much of the day, and a variety of very enjoyable tennis matches to make lounging around no trouble at all. For also completing a few useful tasks while mostly horizontal including making arrangements with Jo re spare keys and Quorn bacon, and with renal dietitians re prescription soup and dessert. For also making a start on repacking a hospital bag...just in case, you know! 

I give thanks for a well planned and timed minor excursion later to shops across the road and the newish poshish chip shop around the corner to try out some of their scampi. I was not only the first in the queue, but the only one in it, and as it was my first visit too it seemed polite to chat while they prepared my little packet. Turns out they'd come here from a part of Wales I once knew well...and while we swapped names unpronounceable to the uninitiated I ended up with some freebies making more of a meal than a snack. I give thanks I've thus avoided cooking supper!