In a similar vein

I was really looking forward to a treatment and having my tea cooked last night...and I give thanks for that as it's always good to think you have something to look forward to even when you're wrong! I give thanks I had a fishcake in the freezer...

I give thanks for getting some sleep in between the dread and the dreams. For waking up early enough to make the flat spick and span enough for the estate agent to take some more (more appealing?) photos and get the bus for my hospital appointment. For the journey being so scenic... And the frequency with which I'm making it making it possible to see the subtle seasonal changes. For the astonishing variety of colours in the stubble fields...

For putting my game face on for the vascular access clinic, trying to make the staff feel better about the fact that they really don't know what to do, and that there may be a few more attempts yet...but no guarantees. The other day it came to me I'm a bit like the Yul Brynner android in the original Westworld film. Break bits...Yep, still going. Chop bits off... Yep, still going. Knock me when I'm down... Ah, that finishes me. No, wait...I clamber up and get going again. I know I can't keep going on forever though, and I give thanks for that.

For Evelyn Glennie playing Vivaldi on the xylophone at the proms. Phil Collins on the radio in the hairdresser reminding me you can't hurry anything at all... For a snack lunch in a churchyard in the sun thinking I'd like to go for a walk when I got home, before realising both the sun and the energy would be gone by then.

I give thanks for bad news about something non medical on my return, so I could be upset about a different situation instead. For lots of lessons in not relying on stuff over the last twenty four hours...I clearly need lots of practice! I give thanks I *think* I'm going to make a cup of tea and turn on the TV, take the game face off and do some serious grieving this evening...but who knows, maybe that's not the way it'll turn out at all...