Sesenta y cinco

Despite the bright blob of Hunter's Moon shining through the veil of cloud, last night was a dark one in my mind. I give thanks for reminding myself that it's wanting things to be different from they way they are that is the problem, but that's the very thing I wish to change - my desire for more comfort and pleasure in my life instead of pain and bodily malfunction and struggle and stress. Changing the rest of it would be fine and dandy obviously, but I suspect all I've any hope of succeeding with is what goes on inside my head.

I give thanks for waking up in time to lie still for a bit before having to face the getting up part, and that when the entry phone buzzed and I still couldn't move, that a neighbour was leaving the building and brought my box inside. For a relatively pleasant day at the office - a side room with the door mostly closed always helps! The hardest thing to deal with was the hunger. I really need to start making bigger lunches than I think I need because, especially now the weather is cooler, the ones I'm doing now hardly touch the sides. There's nothing provided on the ward apart from the very welcome small cup of tea and biscuits, but having checked how much money was in the little change purse I take with me I decided to go straight to the chip shop and get a veggie burger in a bun, without the chips of course. It was pretty much devoid of flavour but was hot and filling and only £3.25 so not a bad idea...I might last until supper time now!

I give thanks the GP who didn't call me last week did so this evening, and that as I was holding my phone at the time I noticed even though the sound was off. He's going to send a prescription for some emergency back tamers to the local Boots, and as I have to go there for something else tomorrow.who knows I may be able to pick them up. I have a few bits to pick up up the street and will need a cosy rest stop along the way so I also give thanks Jo is free to meet me for lunch.

I give thanks for finally persuading Bulb to give Sally and myself our £50 joining bonus! Oh, and for opening my food parcel from Bob and finding, well just what the doctor did order actually - not food exactly but exotic sweet treats and nibbles from cosmopolitan Sheffield to help me put some more weight back on. I'll do my best with that :-)