Bleurgh! I'm grateful the antibiotics seem to be beginning to have an effect on my poorly toes as other parts of my body are still finding them hard work. I give thanks for less pain anyway as the fine print in the box says you're not supposed to take paracetamol. Also I was advised by the GP if there was no sign of improvement in 48 hrs I needed to get advice from the hospital and that would have been far too much effort today so I give thanks I didn't have to.
I give thanks for lavish quantities of Netflix and sleep, and my decimated appetite meaning only minimal kitchen duties. You're supposed to take the meds on an empty stomach, so I'm grateful this has been easier to arrange today. The worst bit for nausea is the hour afterwards when you are not supposed to eat so I guess that's something to be grateful for too as it makes it much easier to resist, and for reading on line that drinking lots of water with them helps, it does seem to help a little. I give thanks for still being OK to drink lots of water!
I'm grateful I've felt too below par to care about the very messy state of the place...When I start to feel better I'm sure it will bug me much more, but then I'll feel much more capable of doing something about it
Sunday, 7 July 2019
Saturday, 6 July 2019
Soixante-sept
I'm grateful to Coco Gauff for spinning out but staying in that match last night - I really needed a long lounge on the sofa! I rarely find women tennis players gripping viewing but she is a rare woman tennis player, despite only being fifteen... For the beautiful clouds at sunset, and for the pub in the alley behind my flat having a loud live band to stop me going to bed too early as I needed to stay up late to take the pills for my feet.
This morning I was grateful my toes looked no worse, though still no sign of getting better, despite have that queasiness that sometimes comes with anitbiotics. For Mima being at a loose end too so arranging to meet her to picnic on the grassy bank overlooking the bay for the Airshow, and managing to meet Gary on the way. For finding ani nausea pills in my bag to help make that side of things easier to bear, and enjoyable displays.
It's not all been about planes. I give thanks for an open top bus ride, two passenger ferry crossings, a convoy of vintage American cars and vans passing my window by road and a steam rain on the railway! Oh and I tried my first vegan Magnum...can see why my non dairy eating friends are hooked. Reminded me that when I was in a Gregg's the other day saying I loved their vegan sausage rolls although I wasn't one, they replied they actually outsold the meat variety now as people preferred the lack of greasiness.
This morning I was grateful my toes looked no worse, though still no sign of getting better, despite have that queasiness that sometimes comes with anitbiotics. For Mima being at a loose end too so arranging to meet her to picnic on the grassy bank overlooking the bay for the Airshow, and managing to meet Gary on the way. For finding ani nausea pills in my bag to help make that side of things easier to bear, and enjoyable displays.
It's not all been about planes. I give thanks for an open top bus ride, two passenger ferry crossings, a convoy of vintage American cars and vans passing my window by road and a steam rain on the railway! Oh and I tried my first vegan Magnum...can see why my non dairy eating friends are hooked. Reminded me that when I was in a Gregg's the other day saying I loved their vegan sausage rolls although I wasn't one, they replied they actually outsold the meat variety now as people preferred the lack of greasiness.
Friday, 5 July 2019
Soixante-six
Goodness me! Who would have thought infected toesies could be so painful? I give thanks for post walking cramps and equipment malfunction in the night helping that discomfort blend in with all the others...and, though I kept waking up, for getting back to sleep again easily. For my antibiotics being ready at the pharmacist, and for being hopeful they will do the trick.
For remembering to look up the bird I saw yesterday, a grey wagtail apparently, despite being noticeably yellow! And for Facebook pictures of Bob willingly walking in the countryside with Siobhan. I tried to enthuse him with delight for this wonderful pastime when he was a young lad without success, so it's lovely to see he's got there in his own time. I give thanks for being taken though beautiful countryside by a bus driver today, that's as good as it gets right now...
I give thanks for my new phone. I mean actually NEW! I'm very grateful for this but it's been a while and technology has moved along since that last happened so there's been a few teething problems, like the tool for opening the SIM tray falling through a wormhole in the carpet to another dimension, and when it reappeared in this version of reality and I could use it I found my card is too anciently large to fit in the new piece of kit. I give thanks my own phone is still hanging on, that I could ask Google via that to set the new one up, and that after some lengthy live chat I believe a replacement daintier SIM on its way. I give thanks for not having to actually call any customer service department about this as there's been far too much of that with the missing ebay item. Advisors keep assuring me this is ready for collection as their system says the same thing as mine. They buyer can't seem to grasp the situation and first of all said they'd send the courier round to my home to show me where they'd left the parcel, and then said I should try a different Collect+ store in case they have it. The collection point store owner meanwhile is getting fed up of being phoned about it and says he's too busy to discuss it right now! The item is a new quilt for the spare room bed for visitors like Bob next week so I do hope they sort it soon...
For remembering to look up the bird I saw yesterday, a grey wagtail apparently, despite being noticeably yellow! And for Facebook pictures of Bob willingly walking in the countryside with Siobhan. I tried to enthuse him with delight for this wonderful pastime when he was a young lad without success, so it's lovely to see he's got there in his own time. I give thanks for being taken though beautiful countryside by a bus driver today, that's as good as it gets right now...
I give thanks for my new phone. I mean actually NEW! I'm very grateful for this but it's been a while and technology has moved along since that last happened so there's been a few teething problems, like the tool for opening the SIM tray falling through a wormhole in the carpet to another dimension, and when it reappeared in this version of reality and I could use it I found my card is too anciently large to fit in the new piece of kit. I give thanks my own phone is still hanging on, that I could ask Google via that to set the new one up, and that after some lengthy live chat I believe a replacement daintier SIM on its way. I give thanks for not having to actually call any customer service department about this as there's been far too much of that with the missing ebay item. Advisors keep assuring me this is ready for collection as their system says the same thing as mine. They buyer can't seem to grasp the situation and first of all said they'd send the courier round to my home to show me where they'd left the parcel, and then said I should try a different Collect+ store in case they have it. The collection point store owner meanwhile is getting fed up of being phoned about it and says he's too busy to discuss it right now! The item is a new quilt for the spare room bed for visitors like Bob next week so I do hope they sort it soon...
Thursday, 4 July 2019
Soixante-cinq
I thought it might be nice to get away from it all today, or at least away from hospital attendance and the thickest throngs of tourists. Somehow this had to be juggled around not only a delivery of stoma supplies at an unspecified time, but the lengthy procedures involved in getting treatment for my now infected toes. After a lengthy wait to speak to someone at podiatry I was told I could see someone next week or go to my GP, and after a medium wait to speak to someone there I was told to come in this afternoon. I was very grateful for this as I'm in increasing pain, and even more so when I had notification the delivery would be after I'd be back from that - even taking into account another long wait to actually be seen!
I give thanks for setting out early so I could have a paper bag lunch in this pretty little park at the top of town followed by a 75p choc ice from the friendliest corner shop up there. That was my away from it all staycation part of the day and very pleasant it was too. albeit all to brief! Unfortunately the GP admitted she didn't know much about toenail removal or kidney failure but agreed antibiotics were needed and suggested a low dose for now to see if that was enough to fix it, and if not to check with the renal team on Monday to see if the strength could be increased. This was fine by me but the low dose pills weren't in stock at the pharmacy so I have to wait until tomorrow, so I've been grateful for lavender oil to delicately dab on the inflamed skin around the wound...and exciting tennis...and fab weather...and pottering around at home with cooking and lightweight household and home improvement tasks, all enhanced by the underlying grateful thought there's no dialysis to go to tomorrow...
I give thanks the courier who brought my expected parcel had another one for me on his van as well. For realising the package I thought was being delivered across the road was actually waiting at another supermarket of the same name on a different edge of town from where I was earlier...and that there was a bus that stopped close by. I would have been even more grateful if the item had actually been dropped off by the courier before he pressed the button to say it had been, but after a long trek back to avoid a long wait for another bus I at least remembered to go to the Co-op to spend my vouchers. What a shame I forgot to get them out of my purse when I got there! Oh well, though most of it was along pavements and for no good purpose I mostly give thanks for having a good long walk today. My toes have a completely different view of things of course!
I give thanks for setting out early so I could have a paper bag lunch in this pretty little park at the top of town followed by a 75p choc ice from the friendliest corner shop up there. That was my away from it all staycation part of the day and very pleasant it was too. albeit all to brief! Unfortunately the GP admitted she didn't know much about toenail removal or kidney failure but agreed antibiotics were needed and suggested a low dose for now to see if that was enough to fix it, and if not to check with the renal team on Monday to see if the strength could be increased. This was fine by me but the low dose pills weren't in stock at the pharmacy so I have to wait until tomorrow, so I've been grateful for lavender oil to delicately dab on the inflamed skin around the wound...and exciting tennis...and fab weather...and pottering around at home with cooking and lightweight household and home improvement tasks, all enhanced by the underlying grateful thought there's no dialysis to go to tomorrow...
I give thanks the courier who brought my expected parcel had another one for me on his van as well. For realising the package I thought was being delivered across the road was actually waiting at another supermarket of the same name on a different edge of town from where I was earlier...and that there was a bus that stopped close by. I would have been even more grateful if the item had actually been dropped off by the courier before he pressed the button to say it had been, but after a long trek back to avoid a long wait for another bus I at least remembered to go to the Co-op to spend my vouchers. What a shame I forgot to get them out of my purse when I got there! Oh well, though most of it was along pavements and for no good purpose I mostly give thanks for having a good long walk today. My toes have a completely different view of things of course!
Wednesday, 3 July 2019
Soixante-quatre
Waiting for a late taxi to take me to hospital today I gave thanks for the pleasant sunshine, for working out why two women seemed to be doing a relay race past me carrying three ice cream cones in each hand one way and nothing on the way back - it turned out they were treating a party of small schoolchildren waiting on a wall in the park! I asked the universe to send me a nice man in a sports car but the universe had other plans and sent me a woman who couldn't work out where I lived so I had to scuttle down the road after her. When I got to the ward however I discovered the universe had been preparing a wonderful treat - as there were no patients needing isolation or special care I could have one of the side rooms and enjoy more privacy and peace and quiet, I could even hear the working TV which I tuned to Wimbledon channels of course. Goodness me how grateful I was, it was the best dialysis session ever, a bit like home treatment would have been except someone brought me tea and biscuits! My treatment started in good time so I could get the scheduled transport home instead of staying late, I managed to persuade someone to give me my prescribed drugs... and added to that there was that Friday feeling as for me the weekend starts here. Ideal!
I was sad last night when I heard John and Jo can't come down to stay after all, and struggled for a while to think of aspects of this for which I could give thanks. Then I remembered that being reminded not to have expectations, or be attached to outcomes is always a precious lesson. And to be grateful there are people I've known for so long who do still want to spend time with me - precious too, and extremely rare in my life...also, and this may sound strange, that the visit was cancelled due to John's poor health not mine. I wouldn't wish illness on anyone, least of all a friend, but if I'd not been well enough to have time off treatment or enjoy company I would have been very seriously sick indeed!
I give thanks I did a lot of stuff before I left home as I woke up early and was sure there'd be all the delays there have been lately and wanted to come home to some comfort. I even sorted out a ready meal so I wouldn't have to cook but would feel someone had made my tea. Oxytocin on a stick today has been and I am grateful for the warm fuzzy feeling this brings,,,
I was sad last night when I heard John and Jo can't come down to stay after all, and struggled for a while to think of aspects of this for which I could give thanks. Then I remembered that being reminded not to have expectations, or be attached to outcomes is always a precious lesson. And to be grateful there are people I've known for so long who do still want to spend time with me - precious too, and extremely rare in my life...also, and this may sound strange, that the visit was cancelled due to John's poor health not mine. I wouldn't wish illness on anyone, least of all a friend, but if I'd not been well enough to have time off treatment or enjoy company I would have been very seriously sick indeed!
I give thanks I did a lot of stuff before I left home as I woke up early and was sure there'd be all the delays there have been lately and wanted to come home to some comfort. I even sorted out a ready meal so I wouldn't have to cook but would feel someone had made my tea. Oxytocin on a stick today has been and I am grateful for the warm fuzzy feeling this brings,,,
Tuesday, 2 July 2019
Soixante-trois
Mmm, what a lovely day not to have dialysis, I think I'll go to the hospital for something else instead...said no one ever! I wasn't even a tiny bit grateful to have to get up early to attend to surgical and personal needs before responding to my summons to see the chap who removed my tumorous parts and who up to three years ago was still regularly scanning my body for signs of any more. I had been expecting to hear from him two years ago but when I didn't well, delightful man though he is, I really didn't mind that I'd been forgotten about. If it doesn't seem to be broke let's not look for something that might be seems to be reasonable to me...but not to a new-to-me consultant who did a review of my notes a while ago and decreed we should meet again.
I did give thanks for the beautiful weather and view while waiting for the train. For the smelly man next to me reminding me to find the pomander bracelet Rachel gave me for Christmas last year, and for the whingeing women across the aisle for reminding me to put some Imee Ooi in my ears for tranquility. Rather a lot of this was needed one way and another, although, sure I'd have a while to wait for my appointment, I completely tuned out my name being called a few minutes after I arrived.
I give thanks it was a genuine joy to see him, despite serious background concerns over what he might say. But it seems scan wise it really is all over unless I'm worried by any symptoms or pain and so we could have a nice chat instead, about the injury that laid him off, the problems with the mindset of many of his colleagues, mutual acquaintances...and the fact that he still cites me as an example of you never can tell! Leaving it that it had been good to meet up but for the best of reasons we'd be happy not to do so again was strange but true, and something to be very grateful for too.
I give thanks I didn't realise the bus stop by the supermarket on the way home was out of service, for if I had I'd have rethought stopping off on the way back to pick up something rather heavy from Argos. I was truly grateful for the town service picking me and it up from outside the store afterwards instead of having to walk back to where I alighted. Oh and for successfully sidestepping pushchairs, wheelchairs, walking sticks, dogs on elastic, and people who just looked way too weighty to be allowed anywhere near my toes!
I did give thanks for the beautiful weather and view while waiting for the train. For the smelly man next to me reminding me to find the pomander bracelet Rachel gave me for Christmas last year, and for the whingeing women across the aisle for reminding me to put some Imee Ooi in my ears for tranquility. Rather a lot of this was needed one way and another, although, sure I'd have a while to wait for my appointment, I completely tuned out my name being called a few minutes after I arrived.
I give thanks it was a genuine joy to see him, despite serious background concerns over what he might say. But it seems scan wise it really is all over unless I'm worried by any symptoms or pain and so we could have a nice chat instead, about the injury that laid him off, the problems with the mindset of many of his colleagues, mutual acquaintances...and the fact that he still cites me as an example of you never can tell! Leaving it that it had been good to meet up but for the best of reasons we'd be happy not to do so again was strange but true, and something to be very grateful for too.
I give thanks I didn't realise the bus stop by the supermarket on the way home was out of service, for if I had I'd have rethought stopping off on the way back to pick up something rather heavy from Argos. I was truly grateful for the town service picking me and it up from outside the store afterwards instead of having to walk back to where I alighted. Oh and for successfully sidestepping pushchairs, wheelchairs, walking sticks, dogs on elastic, and people who just looked way too weighty to be allowed anywhere near my toes!
Monday, 1 July 2019
Soixante-deux
I'm very grateful when I'd made my lunch this morning I went on to make my tea. I'd a feeling it might be a long afternoon and I might appreciate having some ready to cook...and it was and I was indeed!
I give thanks after that I did a few other things I could maybe have left until tonight, partly because it's nice to come home to clean tidy flat and partly because now I've eaten my tea I really can't be bothered. Besides, there's tennis on TV! There's been tennis on TV for hours of course but though I managed to find some on the overhead set to watch earlier, a senior member of staff asked if they could 'borrow' the remote control to see which sets were working and neither he nor it was ever seen again, so when the match I was enjoying changed to a different channel I couldn't follow it. I was grateful I've iplayer on my tablet and a good internet signal but then the person taking me off the machine didn't shut off one of the valves properly so I got showered in blood and had more important things to attend to, trying to keep the splashes in one area. I give thanks my cardigan which was on my lap got the worst of it and the lady who had made it happen took it away promising to wash it for me. I'm grateful it was secondhand when I got it so it's no big deal if she doesn't succeed in getting it clean. Oh and that my consultant was working late so when I passed her office on the way to the loo I could thank her for her letter and update her that I'm still having trouble getting staff to do what she recommended at my last appointment.
I've been tired today after busy weekend days and disturbed nights, and I have to get up early tomorrow to see a different specialist so gave great thanks for twenty winks earlier. Forty would have been better but it was busy on the ward too, and rather noisy with it....
I give thanks after that I did a few other things I could maybe have left until tonight, partly because it's nice to come home to clean tidy flat and partly because now I've eaten my tea I really can't be bothered. Besides, there's tennis on TV! There's been tennis on TV for hours of course but though I managed to find some on the overhead set to watch earlier, a senior member of staff asked if they could 'borrow' the remote control to see which sets were working and neither he nor it was ever seen again, so when the match I was enjoying changed to a different channel I couldn't follow it. I was grateful I've iplayer on my tablet and a good internet signal but then the person taking me off the machine didn't shut off one of the valves properly so I got showered in blood and had more important things to attend to, trying to keep the splashes in one area. I give thanks my cardigan which was on my lap got the worst of it and the lady who had made it happen took it away promising to wash it for me. I'm grateful it was secondhand when I got it so it's no big deal if she doesn't succeed in getting it clean. Oh and that my consultant was working late so when I passed her office on the way to the loo I could thank her for her letter and update her that I'm still having trouble getting staff to do what she recommended at my last appointment.
I've been tired today after busy weekend days and disturbed nights, and I have to get up early tomorrow to see a different specialist so gave great thanks for twenty winks earlier. Forty would have been better but it was busy on the ward too, and rather noisy with it....
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