But I'm OK

So...yeah...what have I been grateful for in the last twenty four hours or so? Well, I give thanks I've not been breathing on anyone else - that farmer's market hummus was seriously garlicy! For a hastily concocted comforting cinnamon and apple crumble for dessert. For finding something to chuckle at on TV...laughter is such wonderful medicine and every little helps...

For sleeping long and soundly with the nightmares that leap out round every corner in my waking hours only skulking at the edges of my dreams. For the neighbours sleeping most of the day so I could do some Shaitsu and meditation in peace, though when this happens I do end up creeping around trying not to spoil it for them...or me!

I give thanks for finishing making a pair of cotton tracky bottoms from some sweatshirting in my fabric stash, which may come in handy for some vaguely sporting activities I have lined up in the coming week. Only very vaguely sporting obviously, but a tad more active than using a sewing machine...No point in counting those farmyard fowl of course but I give thanks for even the possibility of escaping the cage of boredom for a while. I now have my left hand strapped up with an Actipatch to try calm the pain in preparation...which makes things extra interestingly challenging in the meantime too, I guess...

For keeping on going, even when it feels as if I can't. Thought I'd look on the internet for some tips today and found a few that made me feel much worse. You know the kind of thing I'm sure - pointless platitudes of inappropriate positivity about 'things can only get better' and 'you can change anything if you put your mind to it'...all well and good in many situations I'm sure but I'm way beyond that now. I give thanks for finally finding something for the far reaches of distress and despair. 'It's not OK, but I'm OK' That's a good one, I'm going to remember that...