Alternative therapy

I give thanks for surviving the cancer that was supposed to carry me off, but there's rarely a day doesn't go by when I don't mourn the loss of some capability or activity that didn't survive the journey...particularly when I'm low or under pressure and can't access the cathartic therapies that used to make the wrong seem right before. Then it's a double whammy! One of the things I miss most is going for long rambles up hill and down dale or along the craggy coastpath - it was cheap, you could do it with or without company and, if you weren't a wuss, in pretty much all weathers too. Though over the last year I've learnt how grateful I am to be able to walk at all, the week to week footfall routes are merely functional...and on those occasional days here and there when I have energy to spare and all bodily malfunctions are under control, I'm usually flummoxed as to where I could stretch my legs for pleasure that's shortish, flattish, reasonably scenic, accessible by public transport or a very short taxi ride and (big catch here this time of year) not utterly clogged with tourists!

So yesterday I gave thanks for remembering a stroll through part of a country estate that I could get to after having my bloods done this morning, and after managing to conversationally sidestep the cab driver who keeps offering me a free massage from his healing hands (!), making off some charity shop donations, with knees and back and anaemia all co-operating, I 'trotted' off down the track quite happily...until I realised the parkland was a hive of activity in preparation for a motor festival at the weekend.

Oh well...there were still some trees to see (this one looks a bit like what it's like inside my head!) and perhaps all the bustle made me walk a bit quicker than normal as the path didn't seem as long as I remembered it. I decided to be grateful for this - maybe I'm a bit fitter than I think (?) and anyways it was a whole lot better than thinking the walk too long. I was ready to be grateful for refreshments at the end before the bus back but the shop/cafe had a power cut and couldn't serve hot drinks or ice cream so I took an executive decision and shaking my fist at the unruly universe decided to walk back along the slightly too short path and get something in the village instead. Before arriving there however I realised 2 x 1 slightly too short distance = 1 slightly over ambitious one, and just got on the bus to hobble home for free ice cream and tea on the sofa here. So as far as providing that spirit lifting experience I was yearning for the trip was a pretty poor failure, but I did get the the 'Phew, that was a bit of a workout!' feeling without excessive pain (so far) so all in all I'm grateful for the attempt.

Rachel being off on her hols at the moment there was no acupuncture to help me get my mojo back last night...so I give thanks to Colin for offering some alternative therapy including whisking me off for a quick drink at that nice pub across the river where it turned out some talented and amiable chaps were singing and playing a fairly random medley of covers to couples of a certain age in comfy armchairs. I give thanks there were a couple of free armchairs! For the warm evening, the nice surprise and the twinkle of lights on the water... It didn't fix anything of course, but it made me forget about fretting about the unfixable for a while. And today, though still nothing is fixed, at least I'm less fixated... Thanks Colin!