Technicolour dream

I give thanks for going to sleep to the sound of the roaring wind and sea. The pain kept waking me up but the wind kept right on blowing so I could keep doing it again and again. For some very vivid dreams to brighten up such a time of darkness. One of them was about buying a new coat in a marvellous deep purple tweed with flashes of bright blue green. I'd admired the style on a man I'd met but his was merely grey...

I give thanks for being able to watch some stormy sea from my windows today, trying so hard not to wish I could be closer. Ah, if wishes were horses I'd be riding bare back that's for sure...

I give thanks Vivaldi could never have dreamt how many people would end up hearing his Spring and why! For remembering Mr Kennedy turning up when Nat was looking for a CD of him playing in Hay on Wye...

I give thanks for taking steps to maintain my life as best I can - up and down the block ones twice to deal with a delivery mixup which involved the Tesco man bringing home bacon I didn't require, and the big ladder indoors many times to sort out the light fuse again. Unsurprisingly, if an overhead light bulb is going to blow it's most likely to do it just as dusk is falling so it's always a scramble to sort it out, but I give thanks for having to scramble because my body has required a pace of dead slow or crazy making still after yesterday's shenanigans with yoga. I'm so grateful I did that as I enjoyed it so much at the time, but it's hard not to experience the repeated excessive pain after the slightest pleasure as anything other than some kind of punishment...and the trouble with that is that either you feel that you deserve it (and that's really not good) or you feel that you don't (and that's pretty rubbish as well!)

I give thanks I've also offered my services as a volunteer crossword compiler to a local group I thought might be able to make use of a few...and that they are remarkably keen! This is amazing as making puzzles is one of the few things I can do that doesn't hurt...well apart from my brain that is, but it hurts it in a different way from the way everything else does just now.

Oh well, I give thanks tomorrow is my birthday and party or not I can cry if I want to, all day if I feel the need. I've a feeling I might take myself up on that offer...