Tuesday 7 February 2017

The response

Duh! I give thanks for waking up this morning suddenly aware of where there actually was a message of sorts waiting! Doesn't matter what it was, well except maybe to the person who indirectly 'sent' it of course, but they already know so don't need to be told. I give thanks for receiving it eventually anyway, both clearly and somewhat cryptically...

I give thanks for my honesty, my innocence, my trust...and for my forgiveness and tenderness towards those who sometimes view this as a resource to be used to their advantage. I reckon even if you can't feel joyfulness about other people's behaviour you don't have to respond with destroyfulness. It's a tough call to remember that other people's feelings are just as real to them as one's own are to oneself, to be respectful of the choices they make and not try to bend them to your will or preferences...to remember your judgement of their worth is worthless, as is theirs of you. I give thanks I try...for what it's worth!

I give thanks for a bit of sunshine brightening up the thought of the grim task of going out to attend to a few chores...though I never actually made it. Bad attack of so much trouble, so little point, I fear...plus an inability to get warm enough indoors to be able to face outside! I give thanks for doing some essential on line shopping - earplugs, gas canisters, groceries (search for 'cress' on Tesco and it asks you if you mean 'cares' - as if you need more of them!). For tackling various domestic tasks including sorting out several bags of unwanted articles to take to charity shops, recycling bins etc...some other time perhaps...

I seem to be slipping into inertia as well as silence and I give thanks there's little more call for me to do moving than there is talking at the mo. Though by no means anything that could be called cheerful, I give thanks I don't feel especially depressed...just kind of...disappeared. Oh well, one aims to please...and this way not only does no one else have to deal with my difficulties, but I don't have to want to do anything I can't do either.

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