I give thanks for another quiet night and morning, though I woke somewhere in between feeling very ill and unsure if I'd see the latter. This can happen to anyone of course, truly ill or just in a fluster of self importance over a spot of indigestion or some such...but, over the last years, with the odds more likely in my case, I recommend turning a heater on, taking Paracetamol and meditating on the pauses between the breath. If your time has come you want to be as comfortable as possible, right? And you might find (as I did) you just wake up three hours later not so bad after all.
I give thanks for being as slow to move and achieve as I've felt the need to be since then. For watching the pigeons whirling untidily on the wind like autumn leaves. For doing my Shaitsu and gradually, gently, tackling bits of housework people might say I could leave until another time, but I'd rather do in case there's more to do at a time when I feel less able. For getting as ready for departure tomorrow morning as I can reasonably expect myself to be tonight...
I give thanks for coming across this entry from Alan Bennett's diaries that strikes a chord in so many ways...
'I'm happy doing what I'm doing.
I'm not always happy with what I've done.'
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