The better bits

I give thanks for ending yesterday feeling better than I started it...less aches and pains and general malaise. Maybe my body wasn't that keen on that flu jab...certainly my mind wasn't...but hey ho. I give thanks for feeling better still this morning which is always a good start if you find a message on the answering machine about your bloods suggesting you're not...and you have to go back for some more immediately! I give thanks I could renegotiate that to attend to those lil old niceties like washing and dressing first...and this meant I got to be out in the nicest part of the day weatherwise.

People often don't understand that it's not me that makes this happen. It doesn't depend on how 'good' I am with my diet for instance. Although I do try to follow the rules and take my meds as I should etc this doesn't prevent or slow kidney failure, just helps me to be as healthy as possible as that carries on regardless. I give thanks for trying to explain this in a non patronising way to anyone who doesn't know because after all, why should they? And for trying not to take the bait when medical professionals explain things to me in what I consider to be patronising and demeaning ways, like the dietician who just talked about taking pills before a protein meal...and then listed what proteins might be in a diet. After all, why should anyone who has trained in any sort of healthcare imagine that someone requiring healthcare has any sort of intelligence, knowledge or education of their own? To me, to automatically assume not is verging on rude and it is one of the horrors of what lies ahead that I shall be more at the mercy of more of these folk...I give thanks for reminding myself it will be a valuable lesson in misplaced self importance.

Today I'd kind of earmarked as a day of rest not stress but as I had to be up and at it anyway I give thanks for catching up on household chores and cracking on with crafty things in between feeling a bit sorry for myself. I give thanks I've tried my best to improve my quality of life over the last couple of years of opportunities to do so diminishing. I give thanks for the people who've tried to help...and for trying to have some compassion for those who've hindered.

I give thanks for finding a good film on iplayer last night which was about to expire, so I won't send you to look! For putting together some passable stew for today and a bit of apple char-notverymuch which was a good way of using a chunk of bread I inadvertently massacred trying to cut some slices from. I give thanks I didn't go mad with the 'Ooh, I've just had my bloods done...time to treat myself to something wicked!' feeling...yesterday or today!