Loved by me

I give thanks for a wonderful treat last night - the guys upstairs were both out for a while. The way they like to live their lives means this very rarely happens, but the way I like to live mine is without overhearing someone overhead all the time (or them overhearing me) so, though on the whole I think being reminded what you're missing is not a good thing when you can't have more, last night it was very welcome to have a little outer peace to help me find some inside myself. Not that I did anything particularly spectacular with it but it I enjoyed and I had a laugh at Catchphrase, and enjoyed the unaccompanied Croatian klapa singing which moved the unlikely audience of Coach Trip travellers as much as me, and it was nice to do that unaccompanied by the neighbours...

I give thanks for the first brief seconds when you wake up and even though you may have many woes and troubles, momentarily they haven't had time to fill your mind. For the first cup of fragrant Earl Grey tea from a new packet. The Co-op's 'Loved by us' sort is my favourite. It's Fair Trade (allegedly) and I like to think I'm not causing too much pain to others in my quest for pleasure...plus it reminds me that a safe and suitable home to deal with deteriorating health as comfortably as possible is a first world luxury, not a human right.

I give thanks for a tiny girl with a bright pink bucket and a nimble toed old lady dancing to the buskers on the Triangle who let the love flow to brown eyed girls who've got what it takes. For the GP's receptionist entertaining the waiting patients with a story of a less than helpful ECG administered by a handsome young medic who had her pacy pulse (which was the cause of the examination) racing out of control when he had to adjust her bosom to attach the sensors to her chest. I give thanks for loitering in the sunshine with a swirl of Swiss patisserie, and managing not to linger with either the person who wanted me to come to a bible study class nor the one who wanted to discuss dire dialysis tales whilst puffing smoke at me.

I give thanks for buzzy Rachel managing to find time in her busy schedule to dash over and give me a spot of acupuncture. I'm aware I'm rather needy at the moment and give thanks I understand other people don't need that. For giving myself lots of love and attention and tenderness and care.