Live long and prosper

I give thanks for all the holiday makers enjoying the seaside sun, for realising despite my desperate urge for a day or two away while there's still a little bit of summer I'm feeling too sad to do it on my own...and of course one of the sadnesses is I'd have to. On the other hand I give thanks on behalf of everyone I know that this is the case as I really would not be a shiny happy person to be with just now.

I give thanks for sitting half way up the steps going nowhere, where no one really notices you, and if your face crumples with tears you can turn towards the tamarisk and try not to let it show. I give thanks when I realised I'd left my cardigan somewhere I worked out where and it was still there.

I give thanks for Julie's delight at the new vegan cafe's offerings including six or seven types of cake. I had a chocolate and raspberry torte which I'm sure was bad for me but pretty much everything is, you know, and it really was delicious!

I give thanks for having her company on the journey to and fro. For finding some things to discuss and even joke about as well as the things that aren't funny. For the consultant whom I'd not seen before being quite pleasant and helpful and, unusually, seeming to have some grasp of the concept that there are folk who are not only incurably ill, but incurably poor and alone as well, and for whom it is an especially stony downhill road to be stumbling and tumbling along.

I give thanks for Mima and Jan sending me good luck messages this morning. Some good luck would be a wonderful thing for sure! For the neighbours being quiet since I got home so I guess that's some. For being able to weep myself to sleep in peace, wake up and do it all over again. Even talking to myself seems beyond me this evening so I give thanks I can shut down my brain with recorded TV, a book and a bath til I feel more capable again. Live long and prosper readers, the alternative is not recommended at all.