Wish you were here

Dreamt I was on a Caribbean cruise last night. Ouch...that waking up was hard to do! Never mind tears before bedtime, it's tears before breakfast here sometimes... Oh well, I give thanks to my subconscious for doing its best!

I'd spent hours on line beforehand trying to find somewhere I'd like to be for a few days, where I'd be allowed to be, that I could actually get to. I want to make a memory of being happy in a beautiful place to take with me into the place where this is unlikely to happen again. The official line is that holidays should still possible, and they are of course, but I checked them out too and you'd need more money than I could imagine ever having to spare...and probably a car and a caring companion...or even more money I guess, to pay someone who doesn't care to drive you about. They show you people with home machines taking them on trips in camper vans or basking on their Spanish balconies...but the kit doesn't actually include a caravanette and a holiday flat! 'To those who have' and all that...and I give thanks for those who have and know not what it's like to have not.

I give thanks for all the half a sixpence trips I've managed to concoct over the years, but unfortunately the skill seems to have dried up just now, probably not least because of the sense of time and luck running out. I want someone else to say 'Here, let me, I'll sort it out... I'll get you somewhere happy!' and I give thanks for everyone who has that too, a helping hand to take the reins of the wish horses now and then.

Meanwhile, back in my real world, I give thanks for attempting to apply those logistical skills to working out how to have day surgery on one site and an appointment with a consultant on another on the same afternoon. There should be time if all goes well, and though further apart than I'll probabaly feel like walking, not so far that I couldn't get a cab...but I suspect I'd really rather just get home as soon as possible afterwards and that will be challenge enough. Maybe I'll ring them up tomorrow and see if they've any helpful suggestions, though this arrangement is what they came up with last time they offered those so I'm not overly optimistic...

I give thanks for completing my mission for the rest of the day which was to deal with the pile up of laundry and washing up caused by yesterday's breakdown of other sorts of function...and to tidy away the things I'd been collecting to take away. If my subconscious wants to treat me to something impossible tonight it might help it not to be holiday related if there's not a case with passport, travel plugs, new socks, toothbrush and rucksack under the bed!

I give thanks for the church bells this morning, for everyone who has any kind of faith. For making myself a hearty crumble to nibble at now and then. For the drizzly day to go with my grizzliness. For the kind things some people have said. I give thanks you're there even though you're not here...and I'm sorry for being a wuss!