Sunday, 7 January 2018

Absolute zero

I give thanks for eventually getting out of bed today -  for a rather depressed and anaemic person in a rather cold flat this is probably more remarkable than you realise. For finding enough layers to comfortably wear to be bearably insulated, and for the comfort of a hot water bottle and quilt for the bits in between doing things. For doing things, despite little sense of motivation or point. Which is the point I suppose... plus it seems a sin to not be hurting and not to find a way to make myself. For getting on with making myself some new soft furnishings to make up for not being able to have a new home or furniture. For more cleaning of often overlooked places and finding last year's bulb pots sprouting shoots despite utter neglect.

I give thanks for keeping myself fed - on the day before a blood test this is extra hard as there's an awareness that everything I put in my mouth is potentially toxic. For spending the day alone and with minimal virtual contact as in the mood I'm in what comes out of it is quite likely to be as well

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