I think not

I give thanks for liberal doses of my favourite available drugs for home medication - books and TV to stop me thinking about things I'd rather not.

For a serious bout of thinking to double check I was applying all available wisdom and courage to trying to move home... And deciding I was, and just need to find a tad more serenity...

For thinking long and hard about how to forget myself and get some outdoors, some soul stirring place I could get to, some physical activity accessible to me...before remembering there was stuff to be done in town and, as I couldn't face the bus or a cab, carrying stuff to and fro would have to do for today. I give thanks my mind says that's not enough, though my body tends to disagree...

I give thanks for sitting on the seafront watching a man not in the first flush of youth take a kayak lesson. I've wanted to try kayaking for years and now understand it's probably a good thing I've not! For getting excited seeing you can now play table tennis on the seafront (something I used to very much enjoy) before realising I probably wouldn't be any good at it now...and certainly not without a partner!

I give thanks for spotting small pink and white striped convolvulus flowers blooming on a shorn grassy bank. To Ann for sending me a parcel of fresh reading material and little treats. I give thanks Rachel is coming to make my tea and give me some acupuncture tonight...I think a spot of nurturing might be good for me...