We are family

It would have been my father's birthday last week and I found it sad that I hadn't known him better, not well enough or long enough to really miss him, as he seemed to have been a good and kindly man. Coincidentally, on the same day I saw some pre-war film of my maternal grandfather, Frederic Bentley, a gentleman who died long before I was born and who I'd only ever rarely seen a photo of before. It was moving to recognise others I had known on this film, but especially special seeing footage of this family legend living and breathing, and consolidated something that I'd been musing on for a while...

The only relatives I have any contact with are four of his great grandchildren, my son Bob (funnily enough), and three cousins Simon, Sally and Adam whose grandmother was my mother's older half sister. 

Seeing the five of us together on my Facebook newsfeed I'd come to notice we share some similarities. For a start there's a particular kind of youthfulness, despite the fact most of us are nearer three figures than two (now that's scary!). It's not that we're so well formed and preserved (well hey, not just that!), it's as much to do with what we do as what we look like, what we wear while we're doing it, what we say about what we're doing, our expressions and gestures...there's a quality of playfulness there despite any deep thinking and devotion to ideals we might have, that many other people seem to lack and sometimes simply just don't get. Of course, the fact that we tend not to do a lot of what other people call 'work' might be a contributory factor here. But this is because, with apologies to Arthur O'Shaughnessy, we are not just dreamers of dreams we are music makers, artists and designers, writers and poets, photographers, creators and performers of many kinds...using pretty much any medium or instrument you can think of, including in Bob's case a soldering iron. Oh, yes and we all use names other than the ones we were given!

Musician and songwriter, a bit of an artist too I believe, if this were Who Do You think You Are? you'd be quite chuffed to have Frederic Bentley above you on the tree...He had four daughters survive to adulthood (and one of those had twelve children!) so numerous descendants, and although I know little of the whereabouts and exploits of the others, I have heard many of them have shared this particularly delightful form of creativity and been proud to trace it back to him. We're not inclined to 'tortured genius suffering for their art' and it's more along the lines of asking ourselves 'What can I do today to make the world feel good?' We like to make people dance and sing, and look and think and wonder and laugh...and OK, I sometimes make people cry as well but because my words move them not because I'm horrid, curls on my forehead or not...

I wasn't lucky enough to grow up with a sense of belonging and so on my blog today, instead of the usual list of five things for which I'm grateful, I'm giving thanks to you four for reminding me that I do, and for the genetic legacy of sharing of joy that we all share.