All things must pass

I'm a bit Buddhist...all things in moderation I say. My scientific friends dismiss this as irrational fluffiness and my religious ones know that I am a damned heathen! The thin strip of middle ground where you can see god in the particle and believe that He doesn't exist suits me just fine, (and yes, the case choices were deliberate there!). 

I have compassion for those who have attachment to either knowing what's been proved, or believing in what can not, as that kind of entrenchment requires strong fortresses for support. And anything you feel you have to keep strong you fear becoming weak. I was minded of this the other day watching an episode of Dragon's Den where the team seemed horrified at the suggestion they invest in an on line funeral/will/wake arrangement firm. They were so negative about this, not just as a business opportunity but as a business idea at all. They were sure nothing to do with end of life would work and seemed a bit miffed to me that they were being asked to consider mortality existed at all, let alone that it was something they might suffer from themselves. Deborah Meadon said that if she wanted to talk about something so unpleasant she'd do so with her family thereby missing the point that a) families don't want to talk about it either and b) you may not get round to the awkward discussion before you actually become incapable. On line is a great way for individuals to make these arrangements and everyone is going to die so I was puzzled as to why they had no kind or encouraging word for the lady who presented the pitch. And then I realised...what the Dragon types of the world hold dear is based on a a great deal of attachment. Death doesn't fit into their model at all.

I give thanks that I've had so many opportunities in life to learn to invest in non-attachment. People, places, objects, conditions - they are none of them permanently in the in the mode of being that one might prefer and if one prefers some modes very strongly over others then disappointment and dismay will inevitably ensue. I don't think you need to sign up for any spiritual regime to see the logic in this, but I still prefer shedloads of modes and have a long way to go...I have become very attached to the idea of my urostomy equipment staying attached in all the right places, for instance, and sometimes struggle to remain equanimous when it does not, though I guess when it doesn't I appreciate clean clothes and bedding and a washing machine and running water more than most, and breaking my Streak again makes me give thanks for all the time that it's working OK, how a little piece of not even especially modern technology can enhance my quality of life so much...

I'm grateful for feeling a little livelier today and even working up a bit of an appetite again at last. For there being ready made food to eat - veggie curries and apple strudel to follow, cosmopolitan and convenient with enough time to get this written whilst waiting for them to cook! To Laura for coming to help me with some finishing of the decorating, and renovations of what's been decorated before and is now in need of repair! Also for taking me to a local carpet shop where a very helpful chap got all the suitable offcuts out of the pile for us to choose after being told what we were looking for...and even carried the selected one out to the car for us. As the piece only cost £15 this seemed very good value in service as well as goods. Right I'm off to help strudel to pass from the state of being on a plate to something very different indeed!