Refugee

I give thanks for all the years I had 'You don't have to live like a refugee' as a personal motto. It's not been an easy life, and the few times I've had any sense of safety and security on its way, it's turned out I've been most mistaken, so it was a helpful little mantra to remind myself to look after myself as best as could be done. And the best thing to do today felt like making my flat somewhere for living again as I'm not leaving.

Unpacking would just be way too sad so I give thanks for some rearranging of what's still on show. I give thanks there's a laminate floor in the kitchen and some of the piles of heavy boxes could be slid not lifted. I give thanks for even, after many unsuccessful manoeuvres, finding somewhere out of the way for that big wooden drawer that got left behind when I sold the single bed. I give thanks that I have other plans for visual improvements but these will have to wait until I've recovered from these exertions...home wasn't built in day!

I give thanks for a roof over my head even though it leaks! I give thanks for not having to share my living space even though the lack of sound insulation often makes it seem as if I do.

I give thanks for feeling pretty well all things considered but for remembering, as I view with dread the oncoming winter, I'll be spending three days a week at a cosy hospital. Hmm....