From a distance

I give thanks for all the good times I have had. They've not been frequent it must be said, nor often lasted long but that makes them all the more precious. I particularly give thanks for being unaware how fleeting some would be.

I give thanks for when I've thought better times were on their way, and all I've done to try to make them happen. For how when I've been suffering, scared or sad this has given me hope and encouragement even if ultimately things have not turned out how I wanted them to.

I give thanks for all I've learned from the bad times, particularly to have compassion for perpetrators when perpetrators have been involved. And also for those who think when somebody is struggling it must be due to bad genes, management or behaviour...unless it's themselves of course, in which case it's just bad luck or someone else's fault!

I give thanks as I enter the last part of my life I understand I just have to get better at things being bad, to look even harder for the shiny moments in all the dreariness, disappointment and sighs.

Today I give thanks for a secret Santa (the young chap downstairs methinks) bringing a little pile of eBay parcels to my flat door. For taking a bucket and mop and cloths downstairs and giving the communal door a good clean...ooh and for the woosh of emptying the bucket into the bushes! I give thanks for nearly finishing a tough sewing job my machine refused before my thumb refused to go on - putting binding on the cut edge of a big mat I bought hoping for a bigger bathroom but cut into so I now have two for a small one. For lining up some clothes alterations to start when my hands have recovered so things that don't get worn for various reasons can be enjoyed again.