Je ne regrette rien

I give thanks for yesterday's evening burst of energy and for coming up with a few ideas for ways to use it that make sense if I move...or not! For thus sorting out my sewing stuff and cleaning and reorganising the inside of some kitchen cupboards. The latter is still going on so I give thanks for deciding to have sandwiches for tea...and for finally hacking my way into a tin of tuna. There are many unbudgetted for expenses coming up and I must be very frugal now but methinks I might splash out on a new can opener!

This morning, having run out of energy and enthusiasm I give thanks for the chaps upstairs going out for a while so I could have a (relatively) peaceful late lie in bed. For reminding myself repeatedly to relax the tension in my body, be aware, be mindful and be conscious of my breath...It's so easy at the moment to wish things were different, had been different, to hope for positive change instead of just dealing with each moment as it comes.

Like many who've had to fend for themselves (and defend themselves) from an early age I've made some regrettable decisions sometimes, and suffered at the hands of quite a few folk who've made some poor choices themselves. When I look back on my life there seems to have been a great deal of effort, a little success, and some heartrendingly cruel twists* of fate...but today I was thinking so what? All the stuff I could have done with more of - health and wealth and support and love - I did without. If some climatic catastrophe hit right here right now I'd have a lot less obvious stuff to lose than many of my peers, but an selection of internal treasures instead to see me through. And of course, as I'd not last long without treatment and medication, I wouldn't have to struggle for long! Unlike Edith I regret shedloads but I give thanks for fragments of wisdom gained...

I give thanks for finding a stashed packet of Paracetamol when I thought I was running short. For the sunshine glowing on the autumn leaves...for all the jolly out and aboutness going on for those with jolliness and out and aboutness to spare

*Haha...and I give thanks for a great typo. This originally read cruel twits of fate. God yes, there's been a few of those!