A little less conversation

I give thanks for a good old sob into my supper last night, sometimes it's the only thing to do. I give thanks if you think it's lame or weak to cry, as clearly you've no idea how defeated it's possible to feel... and that's definitely something to be grateful for!

I give thanks for immersing myself in the last two episodes of the utterly brilliant Icelandic TV drama Trapped, notable for even having excellent incidental music. I'm not usually a fan of that but as there were a lot of brooding silences in between the dialogue it was better that than hearing dialogue from nearby.

I give thanks for working out if I could pay off my mortgage and sell my flat (big ifs) I might be able to afford a retirement cupboard in one of the less fashionable parts of the north of the county. Wouldn't appeal at all if I hadn't also read on the local news of the endearing devotion of the local menfolk. Admittedly they were only in the news due to restraining orders, but as one was recorded as having sent four emails (one of which was merely an exclamation mark!) and the other stopped his car to put a bar of his would be beloved's favourite chocolate on hers, I reckon the women up there must be mighty hard to please - I've had less attention from chaps who've considered me one half of an item! And yes dear reader, I do understand neither having unwanted affection nor having your affection unwanted is actually funny at all but I laugh as easily as I shed tears and I give thanks for anything that makes me chuckle instead of sniff...

I've been in a lot of pain today so I give thanks for eventually not only convincing myself I ought to go out, but also that I could. I give thanks for a hot seat on the bus soothing the aches, and the sight of the rough and tumble sea, four magpies having a conference in the middle of a rugby pitch and a Landrover so utterly covered in mud I wondered briefly it were a brown one but the fact that only the wiper sweeps weren't kind of gave it away...I give thanks for the soft spring sunshine still pretty through a dirty window.

I give thanks for discovering a new pair of shoes in a charity shop I took a fancy to a couple of weeks ago still there patiently waiting for me to decide I 'deserved' them...

I give thanks for Imee Ooi's Chant of Metta to remind me to send any unwanted affection mentally, and for the sublimely poignant second movement of Bach's Double Violin Concerto in D Minor helping me rise above the bubblegum, sweat and profanities of the school hometime bus...even if it also made me sniff a bit! Go on, listen to it now...you know you want to...