Monday 12 November 2018

Somebody to love

Well that was an interesting weekend -  I accidentally activated a 3 day pass to a dating site! Of course I didn't have to spend time on it, but of course I did and found it most revealing. I'm not utterly naïve. I do realise being this old, unnattractive and umhealthy kinda rules out romance but I'd thought I might find a chap for spme congenial chat for half a hour or so. But I'm so far from the madding crowd in terms of what goes on in my head and what matters to me even that was too tall an expectation.

Oh well, I give thanks for the major miracle of very occasionally coming across folk who find me bearable, and even quite pleasant in small and widely spaced doses! And for those who don't, but don't think I should be admonished or punished for being different as did my mother and siblings and many folk after...

Not everyone can find a perfect partner, but if everyone could grow up with at least one person believing in them, cherishing them and showing them how to feel good about themselves the world would be a much better place for us all, as so much bitterness and bad behaviour comes from feeling rejected or isolated, or not valued.  I give thanks for discovering over the years, if you love yourself loads, and try to have as much compassion for others as you can manage, you can muddle along somehow without all of the above...

I give thanks for being out and about and busy today, checking out possible things to buy if Bob decides to visit before the 'festive' season. I give thanks for a very quick and gentle blood test, for lovely warm sunshine and a cosy coat with hood for the wind and rain. For the colours of the leaves still on the trees, and being able to see the shapes of the trees that have lost them. For finding snacks to eat on my travels...not especially renally friendly snacks so I do hope the results of today's test aren't awful so they want to do them again tomorrow!

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