Imagine

Forgive me for sounding a bit bah humbug yesterday. I really do give thanks that people have good things going on, whether seasonal or otherwise...perhaps especially the otherwise. When I imagine what it might be like to have close family or friends, or a partner, I imagine it feels pretty good (most of the time) and I love that the universe has love built in.

I give thanks for wrapping some presents while cooking some tea last night, and filling a hot water bottle so when I just couldn't move any more I didn't have to. I give thanks for watching a bit of University Challenge and getting some answers right. For ordering myself a throw I saw in a store on Sunday that seemed to be cheaper online. It was such a pretty colour and an excess of cosiness unlikely to be problem for the next few weeks! I give thanks an excess of pain led to me giving in and taking one of my magic pills and getting a better night's sleep...

This morning I give thanks for getting the temperature right in the mains water shower and for being able to deal with my morning challenges at a suitably leisurely pace. For Jo from the Revive group organising a Christmas meal at Weatherspoons tomorrow to which I'm invited...and, fingers crossed for being able to go.

I give thanks for public transport and National Health Service appointments, and for leagues of friends bookstalls and well stocked cafés when they run on vastly incompatible schedules. For a friendly fellow sufferer and his loving Labrador assistant who could tell I needed furry affection and for finally finding a spot where the internet worked. Most of all I give thanks for the podiatrist not sending me away with a flea in my ear but diligently (and as gently as possible) working to alleviate my discomfort, find me another appointment soon and taking the details of my renal consultant to discuss if I'm well enough for surgery. She inadvertently let slip my current GFR in the process...and, after recovering from the shock, I gave thanks for my insane resilience. How I'm continuing to function almost normally I cannot begin to imagine, but I will never ever berate myself for needing a nap again.