Tough

I give thanks for the reminder I'm going to have to toughen up. The news I'm being moved to the unit where the bullying staff had me in tears last year, had me weeping again this afternoon. Eventually I gave thanks for the rather patronising nurse dismissing my distress with 'It's for your own good' too because I'm going to have to get ready for being patronised and talked down to again. I've been spoilt here for a while with my room with a (bit of a) view where I'm mostly attended to by people who can see my body might be broken but my brain is still intact while my sense of humour, though unusual, has its merits. I give thanks in retrospect for my good fortune at a relatively pleasant period in dealing with deteriorating health...and for the news just as I was leaving that a very nice woman I met and chatted at length too a while back is now the matron where I'm going. This could possibly help a lot...

I give thanks for understanding the move is intended for my own physical good, whatever mental stress is caused. My current unit is being prepared to take infected patients, and being high risk it's best for me to be elsewhere. But this, along with a letter asking us to supply a name of someone who can bring us in to hospital if the transport system fails, brought it home to me most miserably what a burden on the system I am. I give thanks for not pinning my hopes on returning, but wistfully wishing a little nonetheless.

I give thanks for this morning's driver taking me a different way through the city to give me some variety - before I realised I'd be heading in completely the other direction from now on. For the dusting of green on distant trees...and seeing the tiny opening leaves when stopped at traffic lights. For the astonishingly warm temperatures we often have in March - and for the British weather amnesia meaning folk are always surprised! Oh...and for forgetting the word amnesia so I had to look it up!