I'm sorry - I'm struggling with grateful tonight. No one is singing from the same songsheets here and I've been falling through the gnarly gaps where differing demands of different departments don't meet. I give thanks for finally getting the various treatments essential to prolonging life for now and some stoma kit, so though I have to fester longer in smelly dirty clothes at least hopefully they won't be soaked in urine. Obviously I'm not home and have no idea when I will be. For knowing now not to have any faith in anything anyone tells me any more.
I give thanks there were some happier moments from yesterday to remember during the waiting and rearranging and endless intrusion and noise. For hanging on to the hope that maybe tomorrow things might run a little more smoothly and I might have sun on my face again not tears.
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