Good thing

I give thanks for the good thing that happened last night - for a while I became a person suffering considerable pain instead of an inconceivable pain with a person submerged underneath. In and of itself this was a wonderful thing of course, but there were extra extrinsic benefits - I could move enough to put together and put away a simple but substantial two course meal and open a couple of Christmas gifts, plus stay still enough to enjoy a most pleasing Almodovar-esque episode of Inspector Borowski...and even afterwards sleep! Oh, so much gratitude there just for a bit of what passes for normal life...

Today I've been grateful for the sunshine, especially for those who can be outside in it, maybe still on holiday, maybe going to or about their work. I've been grateful for trying to appreciate my insideness...tough call because I really don't want to give up and get used to it, but it would be better to be better at accepting it while I must. I give thanks for the comforts of my home, the (to me) pleasing arrangements of colours and shapes, a few useful goods and appliances here and there. I give thanks for getting some laundry done and the sun thawed air coming through the south facing windows to give it a bit of a dry. For the light on the trees and white painted houses on the north side of the building, that also face south of course. For the smell and smoothness of clean bedding. For being able to lie on my bed even if I've not made it and wait til the pain subsides before moving on to the next stage.

I give thanks for the look on faces of people who've had sciatica (in this case the Tesco driver) when I tell them I can't take NSAIDs. I stop feeling a weak and feeble being and remember I am actually tougher than most folk can even begin to imagine.